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How to ask a nerdy guy out

This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of “Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette’s coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

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Once upon a time, only boys could ask out girls. But we’re living in a time that doesn’t require a girl to just sit around waiting for the guy to ask her out. [1] X Research source If you want to ask a guy out, then all you have to do is prepare in advance, exude confidence, and react appropriately.

How to ask a nerdy guy out

How to ask a nerdy guy out

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. It might be in the hallway, at the water fountain, on a sports field after practice, or wherever else you usually see him. Pick an isolated place, as well as a time when he is likely to be relaxed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you choose the right time and place:

  • Get a little privacy. You do not have to be completely alone, but you will both probably be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space. People may not respond honestly when their friends are hanging around and they feel pressured, so some privacy can help you get a real answer.
  • Do not make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you’re both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, “Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?” and walk a few paces away.
  • Do not give off creepy vibes. Things like silently standing in front of his locker every morning, calling him then hanging up over and over, or constantly asking other people about him may come off as creepy–and something a stalker may do.
  • Give your crush some space. Do not follow him around in real life or on-line. A little recon is fine, but following his every move gets into an unhealthy obsession.
  • Pick a time and place that makes sense. Asking him out after drama rehearsal may be perfect, a 1:30 a.m. text may not be.

How to ask a nerdy guy out

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. It spares you the stress of coming up with something to do while you’re on the actual date, and won’t leave you saying “Uhhh. I don’t know” when he asks what the plan is. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Don’t think too hard about negative thoughts like ‘he will laugh at me’, ‘he will reject me’, ‘he will friend-zone me’ etc. Remember that guys feel and think the same way when they approach a girl which is the main reason why so many guys exist in the so-called ‘friend-zone’. The truth is you will find out only after asking, muster up some courage, ask him out. You can do it! You may be surprised to find how they would react as most guys are quite easy to talk to as compared to girls.
  • Plan a classic date. There are some tried-and-true activities to do together for dates:
    • Dinner: at a restaurant, or at home with takeout, or something you made.
    • Activity: seeing a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, comic book convention, a hike, a baseball game or another interest you two have in common.
  • Pick something that specifically appeals to your target date. Sometimes you may not sure if you share common interests, or you are not sure if you like something he likes. Find out what he enjoys, and give it a try. Very often this is a great way to show you are really interested in finding out more about what he likes, and willing to try something new for his sake! [4] X Research source

AI Bot Choice

It’s about time and effort for the most part

It doesn’t matter what the one thing you both have in common is it could literally be that you both like to sweep floors okay and you can turn that into a romantic relationship somehow

And yes I’m going to use sweeping floors as an example because I want to prove that at least theoretically it can be done especially since I literally did it with sitting around and talking

So let’s say you meet this guy he’s kind of cute and you’re sweeping the floor and then the guy starts sweeping the floor and you’re both like wow where’s both sweeping the floor so you start a conversation about sweeping the floor it goes over pretty well there’s not really much there I mean you both like sweeping the floor and you both enjoyed talking about sweeping the floor while you were sleeping the floor so you just both talk about sweeping the floor some more and slowly over time you talk about other things that aren’t sweeping the floor and you find that the guy you’ve been talking to is pretty cool he likes sweeping the floor you like sweeping the floor and he’s introduced you to some new things that you like so you talk about other things and you’re learning more about each other but man sweeping the floors awesome so you continue talking about sweeping the floor as well as your new interests so that you’ve both developed overtime well what’s fast forward about six or seven months you’ve been sweeping the floor for a while and talking all these conversations have gradually become more diverse and you’re learning a lot about each other and while sweeping the floor is still something you both do frequently you’re now sharing time with each other outside of sweeping the floor because you’ve both developed common interests from shared conversations and experiences
Neither of you are exactly the same person you used to be when you first met but that’s okay because you’re developing romantic feelings for each other since you spend so much time together talking about all your new interests and not only that but your happy memories with this person you’ve met 6 months ago means you know they’re a potential romantic partner though the feelings aren’t super strong yet we’re going to have to fast forward another 6 months so now it’s been a year

Now after a year you both hang out all the time you both developed tons of new hobbies together and have actually started going out together now you both share hobbies together even if you don’t like his hobby or he doesn’t like your hobby you still do the hobbies together and while you don’t exactly enjoy the hobbies themselves you’ve begun to enjoy the person you’re spending time with so it makes the hobby worth doing anyways so by this point you’ve started to develop even more hobbies and interests as well as strengthening your connection with each other you can see that while you’re not exactly on the path to marriage quite yet this is definitely a relationship that could go somewhere special so you continue to hang out with each other and I’ll say 3 years later we’re going to have a 3 year time skip

You have both been enjoying each other’s company for 4 years you’ve done a lot together you have memories and bonds that just aren’t going to be broken so now you’re planning on getting married because your relationship has developed a lot and you have both developed a lot as people it’s no longer just about sweeping the floor which you both like to do sometimes and sometimes sweep the floor and reminisce about the good old days before you two were a couple and joke about all the time you’ve spent together it’s nice and wholesome and you’re both happy the end

Most Helpful Guys

That’s good to hear. :o)

Good for you. I hope it all works out for you both! :o)

what do you think the guy is nerd, and try to approach girl, but he hesitated cause feel the girl doesn’t like him. feeling of rejection is from the lack of confidence or because he thinks the girl is not into him. he feel that the girl hate him, this guy 27 single, nerd, never date, pure single. so if I think this guy just move on, that’s because he afraid of rejection or because he thinks too much.

any comment and give me some good advice?what happened with this guy?

Most Helpful Girls

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What Girls & Guys Said

Look, some guys just haven’t been educated, and lack antennas as you say. They need someone to teach them about relating to girls.

Why not grab him by his skinny neck and make him hang out with you so you can give him some lectures on social interaction and what girls are about?

I think both of you would enjoy this series of classes!

I consider myself kind of nerdy and now some hot girls I consider to be out of my league. I would never ask them out, because I assume the answer would be no. But if they asked me out, then I’d probably say no because they are out of my league and I would assume it would not work anyway.

I know it’s a stupid reasoning, but I feel kind of intimidated by hot girls, girls out of my league. And it also makes me uncomfortable to be around them. It could very well be he does like you, but is just afraid to act on it. The weird excuse he gave you would be an indicator that is indeed the case. And if he ran away, it’s a clue he doesn’t want to face it.

By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Written on Apr 08, 2022

How to ask a nerdy guy out

In fact, it can be really easy to think a guy hates you if you don’t know how to tell if a guy likes you and pick up on things the proper way.

Crushing itself can be a bit confusing. When you are crushing on someone, it means you have a feeling of romantic love, especially for someone you might not know too well. So, you may not know exactly what you want out of the prospective relationship.

Crushes also have a shelf life, lasting as little as a few weeks or as long as four months.

How do you know if a guy is crushing on you?

Guys can be so confusing and make it really hard to tell if they are into you or not. But every guy is different, so there’s no obvious answer.

One thing to be aware of is if he pays attention to you, specifically. Does he turn his body toward you and make eye contact (or not if you make him nervous)? Does he laugh when you didn’t even say something funny? Does he want to spend time with you?

Most of the time, if a guy seems off or is acting a tad weird around you, he may be crushing on you. hard. And make no mistake about it: if a guy does any of these things, he’s been hoping you’d ask him out on a date.

15 Sure Signs A Guy Has A Crush On You.

1. Any time he’s around you, he breaks out into a sweat and avoids eye contact.

Does he look like he’s about to be interrogated by the CIA whenever he’s around you? Guys who are really crushing hard can get nervous or intimidated by you, and this can actually lead them to bug out.

2. He gets really angry and annoyed whenever you mention other men.

This is often a sign of jealousy, and he might also try to play it cool by saying he’s not interested in you anyway. If he wasn’t interested, why would he get angry?

3. He laughs after everything he says.

This is called nervous laughter, and it happens when he’s really freaking out about a girl. If he’s laughing about everything from hating soft drinks to his mother’s car, he’s probably really worried that you think he’s a nerd.

4. You catch him backpedaling on things when you disagree with him.

Yes, this is a red flag. But it’s also a sign that he’s too spineless to disagree with a girl he likes.

5. He ‘phone spazzes’.

This is when guys say really bizarre, seemingly out-of-the-blue statements when you stop replying. It may be anything from telling you that he wishes you the best of luck, to telling you that he’s just got a new work promotion, to just sending cat memes.

Whatever it is, he’s trying to talk. Give him a little encouragement if you’re into him, too.

6. His behavior has turned into attention-seeking insanity.

Is he making a point of lifting weights, talking about his degrees, or doing stupid stunts that will likely get him into triage at the nearest ER? He doesn’t have a death wish — he’s just trying to impress you.

Unfortunately, this guy crush move can be extremely dangerous for certain men. You might want to ask him to reel himself in before he ends up breaking a bone.

7. He makes fun of you on a near-constant basis.

This is one of those acts that guys might put on when they are interested in you but are too scared to actually say how they feel.

Immature as it may be, this classic middle schooler behavior is often a guy’s last defense against admitting he has a crush. Shakespeare said it best: “Thou doth protest too much!”

8. His game reminds you of a yo-yo.

Does he pull you in a little, then push away, then admit his feelings, then push away again? This is often a sign that he’s testing the waters to see if you’d be open to dating him.

Unfortunately, this also can mean he has crippling insecurity and is probably not worth dating.

9. If you ask him if he’s into you, he turns beet red and denies it.

Guys don’t generally blush if they’re being hit on by girls they’re not interested in.

10. You get the feeling that he’s trying to play ‘too cool for school.’

Does he seem really preoccupied with looking cool? Does he go out of his way to name-drop, flaunt popularity, or show off his knowledge of all the cool events in town?

If so, he’s trying to play himself as one of the “cool kids” in hopes of getting someone interested in him. It might be you!

11. His friends make fun of him a lot around you.

The most common reason a guy’s good friends poke fun at each other is because of a crush.

If they keep ribbing him, then it’s one of the signs he likes you. This is especially true if it seems to get under his skin.

12. His friends keep telling you what a great guy he is.

They’re playing wingman, and it’s almost certain that the guy in question has begged them to put in a good word with you. Give the guy a chance!

13. Any time you mention what you like in a guy, he tries to come up with ways he fits that qualification.

This is a subtle way of showing that he’s trying to earn your approval, and it’s often hard to spot.

For example, let’s say you really like one guy’s sense of humor. He might shrug and go, “Oh, well, I can be funny, too.”

14. He makes a point to try to dispel stereotypes and assumptions you’ve made about him or guys like him.

This is similar to the last point in the sense that he’s trying to present himself to you in a certain light. A good example of this would be him saying, “Don’t think I’m not a bad boy type just cause I’m an accountant!”

15. You just have a hunch.

Our guts are rarely ever wrong. That’s why we should listen to them.

Related Stories From YourTango:

How do men act when they have a crush?

Usually, when a man has a crush on you he will make you a priority in his life. He will go out of his way to help you or spend time with you. He will start paying attention to your interests in an effort to know more about you. He might even act nervous or show off around you.

In today’s world of technology, he may be super-engaging with you on social media, liking, commenting, sharing, and looking at all your posts.

He might make up random reasons to touch you and will seem jealous if you spend time with other guys. His body language can also give you subtle signs that he’s crushing on you.

Psychological tip: Where are his feet pointed? Research says that where his feet are pointed tells you where he subconsciously wants to go, and if they are pointed towards you, he wants you.

How can you tell if a guy has a crush on you?

If a guy is acting different around you, it’s a sure sign they want to impress you, so they may do things for you or with you that they may not do with others. A guy with a crush might make accidentally touching you a habit — tapping your shoulder or brushing up against your arm to get your attention, or hugging you every chance he can.

Sometimes, you get lucky and the guy will tell you outright that he likes you and you’ll start dating; other times, you may have to play Nancy Drew to figure out all the hints he’s dropping, consciously or subconsciously.