Categories
Home-and-Garden

How to ask a guy out over text long distance

This article was co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 32,844 times.

Crushing on a guy who lives far away has its challenges, but flirting isn’t one of them! Texting is a great way to get your flirt on, but where do you start? Don’t worry, we’ll walk you through a range of possibilities, starting with subtle options on the cute/funny side of the flirting spectrum. Then, we’ll touch on some sexier stuff to get your guy’s heart racing!

How to ask a guy out over text long distance

How to ask a guy out over text long distance

How to ask a guy out over text long distance

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019. For example, compliments about his eyes, sense of humor, or talents work great if he’s a new crush. If you want to be less subtle, or if you’re texting your boyfriend, compliment him on his scent, voice, or looks. [7] X Research source Try options like:

  • “Judging by the clip you just sent, you killed it at last night’s game! Teach me to shoot a three pointer one day?” [8] X Research source
  • “Your green eyes make me melt. I could get lost in them.”
  • “I love the way your voice sounds when you laugh.”
  • “You have the best sense of humor! No one ever makes me giggle this hard.”
  • “You’re literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. No contest.”

By Janet Ong Zimmerman — Written on Jul 25, 2021

How to ask a guy out over text long distance

It can be difficult to read the signs in a long distance relationship. It’s even harder for how to tell if a guy likes you long distance. Let’s not even get started on if the long-distance boyfriend loves you!

True love in a long distance relationship, however, never fails to make itself clear. If you feel secure in your relationship, you’d know it.

So how can you know if the guy you’re with truly loves you? Well, we can fall in love while in long-distance relationships. The trick is knowing how.

Here’s how to tell if a guy likes you long distance:

Read about several signs a man is in love in a long distance relationship below!

1. He treats you well and with respect, even from far away.

A guy who loves you is considerate of your feelings, needs, and desires. He makes them as important as his desires and needs.

Just because he’s in a different zone doesn’t mean he can’t give you the attention you deserve.

Responding to texts and calls, leaving voicemails, and sending you treats in the mail is proof that he prioritizes his long distance significant other.

2. He’s generous with his time.

He doesn’t let too much time go by without talking to you on the phone.

If you’re in a healthy and happy long-distance relationship, he is spending time with you whenever your schedules allow. And you are together during major holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve.

3. He makes you a priority.

You are at the forefront of his mind and he maintains contact in between the times you see each other. He considers you when making decisions and is considerate about doing things you want to do.

When speaking, he uses “we” instead of “I” and includes you in his future plans.

He still knows everything going on in your life, even if he’s not there in person.

4. He cares for you.

A guy who loves you is genuinely happy for you when good things happen to you. He is compassionate when you’re going through challenges.

Who do you call after a rough day? When you’re having a hard time, do you feel like you can talk over facetime?

5. He wants his friends to know about you.

All of his new friends know your name and everything about you.

He updates you on his life, and when you finally get the chance to meet you they say things like, “we’ve heard so much about you.”

6. He treats your relationship with integrity.

He does what he says and will let you know if he’s not able to. When issues come up, he is willing to work through them even if he’s not in person.

He doesn’t use distance as an excuse to drop the ball.

7. He wants the absolute best for you.

A guy who loves you encourages you to do things you love, even if it means doing these things without him. He wants you to spend time with family and friends.

He encourages you to find and live your passions, knowing that if you are happy and engaged with life, you’ll be happy and engaged in your relationship with him.

He wants to talk to you on the phone all of the time, but he lets you live your best life. And he lets himself live his best life too.

8. You Trust Him

You don’t feel like there are random girls or guys in his life that he’s secretly locking lips with.

He’s so attentive and communicative about what he’s doing and how much he misses you that it doesn’t even cross your mind.

9. They say goodnight to you.

Even if it’s a quick five-minute phone call, your significant other will make an effort to wish you a goodnight.

10. He sexts you nonstop.

You can tell he’s into it, if he’s, well, into it.

If he’s sending you sexy texts and wanting to get a little freaky over time, it means he values his sexual connection with you and only you.

11. He’s active on your social media.

Red flag if he’s started ghosting you online.

By Samantha Jayne — Written on Jun 11, 2021

How to ask a guy out over text long distance

It can be challenging to determine what to do when he stops calling and texting.

When it comes to dating, one of the most discouraging things is when you’re seeing a man who suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere vanishes.

Maybe he stops texting. Maybe he promises to call you and then doesn’t. When a guy doesn’t call or text you back, it can drive you crazy.

You’ll be left wondering why your guy has stopped communicating with you. The confident part of your brain wishes to believe something unavoidable (but not dangerous) occurred like his phone died or he’s truly overwhelmed at work and busy with things he can’t control. Or maybe your own phone is broken and your text simply didn’t go through, so he’s been trying to call you without you knowing it.

Then there’s that miserable part of your brain that envisions the outright worst possible outcomes, causing feelings of rejection to surface.

What does it mean when a guy stops texting and calling you?

Guys stop communicating for a number of reasons.

Maybe his attention has strayed elsewhere, maybe he’s scared of things getting serious, or maybe he’s just still not over his ex.

When a guy stops texting and calling you, it usually says more about him than it does about you. But sometimes, guys will retreat if you play hard-to-get for too long and put him in a position where he is always pursuing you and left unsure about how you feel about him. Men like to chase, but only for so long.

Or, you could have said something that was off-putting to him and he doesn’t know how to confront you about it.

So, how should you deal with this vanishing man? Exactly what should you do when he goes silent?

Follow these tips on what to do when he stops calling and texting you.

1. Stop yourself from bombarding him with messages.

When somebody isn’t responding to you, the absolute worst thing you can do is bombard them with your own messages. It’s the easiest and fastest means to push someone away.

I know how irritating it is to go without feedback; however, do not begin sending a bunch of texts or calling, Be sure to also avoid sending DMs on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or any other social media on which you’re connected. If you leave a voice message, you might come off as needy or creepy.

And do not text his friends to see if he’s with them. That only looks desperate (and makes you seem a little crazy).

2. Follow the 3-day rule.

The 3-Day Rule is usually used after the first date, but it can be put into action at any time during a relationship or situationship.

Simply take a 3-day break from texting and calling him to see if he might initiate conversation. You can do this when he’s stopped communicating to give him time to come back. Equal effort in communication is good for the relationship.

If he hasn’t responded to your text in three days or if he said he would call and never ever did, shoot him an easy, casual, playful text.

Stay casual about it. If you send out a mad, demanding text, he’s definitely not going to answer.

And I would personally drop it altogether if you don’t get a response after the second time you try.

3. If possible, reach out in person.

Casually try to see him in person, where you’ll be able to feel his vibe. Plus, it will give you the opportunity to dress to impress and ignite his attention.

Men tend to be visual creatures (as are women, but we don’t need to go there right now), and sometimes they need a friendly reminder of how fantastic you are.

You’ll know something is up if he acts unusual or is really avoidant when he actually lays eyes on you.

4. Be careful about who you complain to.

I understand this whole scenario is most likely making you upset and really mad. Just be careful about who you complain to.

I wouldn’t complain to any mutual friends you have with this person because they can easily go back and inform them what you stated or, even worse, make things more dramatic and make you seem crazy.

Vent to your own family members or friends who you know you can trust, but don’t let too many people know you’re upset.

5. Avoid writing about it on social media.

Again, you don’t want this to be a public affair. It’s between you and this person and it’s no one else’s business.

Avoid sub-tweeting nasty remarks or making subtle vague-booking Facebook statuses that are obviously about him and the situation.

You may believe doing that will capture his attention and send a signal to him to call or text you, but it will more certainly make you look immature and annoying — and turn him off completely.

Related Stories From YourTango:

6. Don’t wait around for him.

When a guy’s blowing you off, I understand how easy it is to obsess as you wait anxiously for any possible text or message from this man. But whatever you do, don’t bother waiting for him.

Don’t spend your days sitting near the phone desperately waiting for his phone calls, ready to pick up the phone before the first ring. Live your life, and try to put him in the back of your mind.

7. Move on and cut your losses.

If he never ever reacts to anything you do, seriously, just forget him and move on.

Giving him no attention and doing your own thing will offer a much better message than sending him a long text explaining why he’s a dirtbag.

And if he’s not going to respect you enough to answer you, he’s unworthy of your time at all.

Those are your options of what to do when he goes silent. When he suddenly stops contacting you, you have to keep your dignity and self-respect. If he really has gone ghost, it’s his loss.