How to ask a girl to slow dance

How do you slow dance with a girl?

How To Slow Dance – Social Dancing 101 –

What do you say when you ask a girl to a dance?

How to Ask a Girl to Dance – 3 Tips to Get Her to Say Yes –

How do I ask my crush to slow dance?

Give non-verbal cues that you want to dance.

  • If you are talking to your crush while dancing, a pause is also a good way to give them a window to ask you to dance.
  • Giving non-verbal cues is a good method for girls to use if they don’t feel comfortable asking a guy to dance.

How do you slow dance with a girl for prom?

Slow Dancing Arms: Option 1
Think of slow dancing as an extended hug as you and your date sway back and forth. Girls, place your arms on your date’s shoulders or hang them loosely around his neck. Guys, place your hands on your date’s hips or wrap them loosely around her lower back.

What is the most romantic dance?

The 6 Most Romantic Ballroom Dances Ever

  1. Rumba. Maybe it’s the music, or the sophisticated, yet simple, movements, but we think Rumba is romantic mainly because of what it replaces – the old sway side to side slow dance.
  2. Argentine Tango. Tango is a little like a volatile romance.
  3. Waltz.
  4. Foxtrot.
  5. Bolero.
  6. Any Dance in Your Kitchen.

How do girls dance at clubs?

Club Dance Moves For Women – Beginner Dance Moves –

How do you know if a girl wants to dance?

Look at the feet, if a lady’s feet are pointed at the dance floor, then that’s an indication of where she wants to be. If she wants to be on the floor, then she is more likely to respond with a ‘yes’. Look to see if she seems lost. When a lady wants to dance, she will often not be interested in other things going on.

How do you tell if a girl likes you?

Signs a Girl Is Attracted to You

  • Smiling at you.
  • Shooting short glances your way.
  • Darting her eyes away when you look at her.
  • Making prolonged eye contact with you.
  • Running fingers through her hair.
  • Licking her lips.
  • Exposing her neck.
  • Tilting her heads towards you.

How do you approach a girl in a dance?

Well, if you insist on bugging us, here’s some rules you can follow to keep things chill and fun for everybody.

  1. Have another reason to be there.
  2. Don’t lurk.
  3. Wait for her signal.
  4. Approach from the front.
  5. Say hi and introduce yourself.
  6. Offer to buy her a drink.
  7. See if she’d like to dance.
  8. Hands off, Handsy.

It can be pretty nerve-wracking to ask a girl to slow dance. You’ve got to wait for the right song, find a moment when she’s not dancing with someone else, and work up the courage to approach her on the dancefloor. All of these things aren’t so bad if you go for what you want with a confident attitude. If you’re looking for some advice on the perfect way to ask a girl to dance, this article is here to help.


Method 1 of 7: Make eye contact with her.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

That way, she’ll notice you before you walk over. When you see the girl you want to ask, meet her gaze directly. Avoid staring at the floor or looking away before she gets a chance to look back. You’ll seem more confident and approachable, and she won’t be caught off-guard when you ask her.

  • Though making eye contact can be a little scary at first, you’ve got to be comfortable looking at her if you intend to dance with her for a 3-minute song!

Method 2 of 7: Scope out the situation to see if she’s on a date.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

It’s not polite to ask if she’s on a date or dancing with someone else. If the girl you want to ask is currently dancing with someone else, it’s best to wait until she isn’t anymore. You don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position or risk offending her or the person she’s dancing with.

  • An exception would be if she’s dancing with a group of friends and a new song is just beginning.

Method 3 of 7: Wait for a slow song to begin.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Get ready to walk over at the beginning so your dance isn’t cut short. If you ask her in the middle of a song, you may not get to dance for very long. She may also be dancing with someone else, or hanging out with her friends. Asking her when a new song begins makes for a smoother transition.

  • The break in between songs also gives you an opportunity to ask when the music isn’t so loud.
  • Not every song works for a slow dance. When in doubt, wait for a ballad.

Method 4 of 7: Approach her confidently.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Walk towards her and give her a smile. Keep your head held high and your shoulders back as you make your way over. You’ll look relaxed, friendly, and sure of yourself—all great attributes of a good dance partner! If her back is turned to you, say something to get her attention, like a simple hello.

  • Avoid turning her around or touching her to get her attention. Everyone has different physical boundaries, and this may make her uncomfortable.

Method 5 of 7: Ask her to dance in a clear, straightforward way.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Speak up so she’ll hear what you’re saying over the music. Consider slowing down your speech a little, too, so there’s no question about what you’re saying to her. Try to avoid fidgeting or staring at the ground as best you can.

  • Keep it simple and classic: “Would you like to dance with me?”
  • You can also try a more formal approach: “May I have this dance?”
  • Throw in a compliment if you’re feeling brave: “I noticed you across the room and I knew I had to ask. Can we dance together?”
  • If you’re nervous, honesty can be pretty charming! Say something like: “I’ve been working up the courage to ask you all night.”

Method 6 of 7: Take her hand and lead her to the dancefloor.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Wait until she gives you a clear “Yes” or nods her head. If you’re already on or near the dancefloor, take her hand and place your other hand on her upper back. This position helps you guide her to the beat of the music.

  • You don’t have to do a bunch of fancy turns or moves to impress her. Do what feels natural. Sway to the beat of the song and make conversation as you dance, if you’d like.

Method 7 of 7: Take rejection gracefully.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

If she says no, don’t take it personally. She might say no for lots of different reasons, and most of them don’t anything to do with you! Some people are more comfortable dancing with their friends and others prefer listen to the music rather than dancing. Say something like, “I totally understand. Have a great rest of your night.”

  • Pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there. That took a lot of courage.
  • It’s okay to be disappointed. Keep in mind that even the most attractive, confident people still get rejected sometimes.

Don’t Be Intimidated

How to ask a girl to slow dance

The band plays a slow song, and it’s time for a slow dance. It’s bound to happen at any prom or school dance, and it’ll be much less intimidating if you’re prepared. Learn the basics so you’ll feel confident when the moment arrives.

Slow Dancing Arms: Option 1

Think of slow dancing as an extended hug as you and your date sway back and forth. Girls, place your arms on your date’s shoulders or hang them loosely around his neck. Guys, place your hands on your date’s hips or wrap them loosely around her lower back. Remember to leave enough room between you so that you both feel comfortable. If you’re in doubt, simply ask, “Is this ok?”

If you’re dancing with a same-sex partner, you can either make the first choice as to where you feel comfortable putting your arms or you can follow your partner’s lead.

As for head placement, it really depends on what height you and your partner are. If you’re dancing closely, you might be able to rest your head on your date’s chest or over your date’s shoulder. Or you could look at each other. Don’t be afraid to talk or say something to your date if you’re in the mood.

It’s important to stay relaxed, though that is sometimes easier said than done. Your heart might be pounding a million times a minute while you’re wishing you put on more deodorant. Try to control your breathing by inhaling and exhaling steadily. This will help maintain an even heart rate.

Slow Dancing Arms: Option 2

Holding your date’s hand is a more traditional way to sway; your parents and grandparents made slow dancing in this position popular. Something about it seems chivalrous, probably because it allows for a designated space between you and your date’s bodies. So if you’re freaking out over how much space to put between you and your date, this may be the way to go. If you aren’t dating or don’t know each other well, this position will probably be more comfortable.

Guys, put your right hand on your date’s hips or on her mid or upper back. If you’re dating and close, you can wrap your arm loosely around her waist. Then use your left hand to take her hand and hold it up and to the side with your elbow bent. You can choose to hold her hand or lace your fingers into hers. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Girls should put their left hand on their partner’s shoulder and hold his hand with their right.

Since there will be a space between you, your heads will likely stay forward, so you can look at each other. Make sure you smile at your dance partner. You can even start a light conversation. This could help you relax.

Slow Dancing Feet: Where to Put Them

Stepping on your date’s toes is obviously something you want to avoid when you’re dancing. Just be cautious of where you put your feet.

Look down at where you and your date’s feet fall when you first join together to dance. This will give you a general idea of how far over you can move your feet without stepping on your date’s toes.

If you’re slow dancing very close together, you can put one foot between your date’s feet and your other foot on the outside of your date’s feet. If you’ve got some space in between, you can put your toes in front of your date’s toes and about an inch off to the side.

If you don’t land any of these foot positions perfectly, it’s OK. When your bodies come together to dance, your feet should naturally fall into place.

If you feel something like a toe underneath your foot, don’t put all of your weight down on it. Simply apologize or say “excuse me” and continue dancing like nothing has happened and try not to fret. It’s happened to everyone who’s ever slow-danced.

Who Leads?

It’s traditional for the guy to lead a slow dance. (This might feel like a social throwback, but someone has to lead and someone has to follow. You can switch this up if you feel like you’d rather be untraditional and both of you agree.) To lead, gently push your partner’s hand in the way you want to go as you also move your body in that direction. Follow the music and move to the beat. To follow, just, yes, follow the moves of your partner. It couldn’t be easier.

How to Sway

Basic slow dancing doesn’t require any fancy footwork, so even the most inexperienced dancer can pull it off.

If you’re nervous about making any sudden movements, just keep your feet planted in one place, make sure your knees are loose, and gently sway using your hips and knees.

If you’re feeling a little more confident, you can subtly lift your feet off the floor. Use these small lifts to turn in a slow circle. Your date will get the hint and move with you.

Remember to keep your elbows loose, too. Dancing when your joints are locked is pretty difficult. Keeping your arms slightly loose will make it easier for you to breathe and sway comfortably.

Slow Dancing Move: The Twirl

If you’re feeling a little adventurous while you’re slow dancing, you can invite your date to twirl. Simply take a step back from your embrace and hold your date’s left arm up in the air with your right arm. The twirl is a pretty common move, so your date should know what’s expected. After the 360 is complete, simply return to your starting position and resume swaying.

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When you go to a wedding, dancing is inevitable. Sure, you may sit there and refuse to dance. Or, you may want to but you’re too nervous. Slow dancing is the perfect time to hit the dance floor because it’s so easy to do.

Ask someone to dance. There’s no point in sitting there during a wedding and wishing you were dancing. Make sure to start with someone you feel comfortable with–even if it’s a friend, cousin or your grandparent.

Stand about 6 inches apart. The man’s arms should go around the woman’s waist. Her hands should go around his neck. The man can also keep one hand on the small of her back and clasp her other hand away from their bodies.

Go for the traditional side to side move if you’re not much of a dancer. Sway back and forth, slowly turning your partner around in a circle. There’s not much to slow dancing, it’s perfectly acceptable to basically stand there with little movement.

Take lessons if you don’t feel comfortable slow dancing. There’s no shame in learning a few moves before the wedding. You don’t necessarily have to go the ballroom dancing route–but you can learn a few stand-by moves to help you keep things flowing on the dance floor.

Stay in tempo. No matter what the song is and what your moves are, just try to find the beat and move along with it. Meaning, if the song gets a little faster, you should move a little faster, too.

Spice things up and do the unexpected. Turn a traditional slow dance into something fun and memorable by suddenly changing things up in the middle.

I was dancing with a really pretty girl, She was wearing a tight blouse, and shorts so I got very hard with holding her so close against me. She was wearing denim shorts, and I was wearing regular cotton pants. Do girls still notice? Mine points up, rather than straight out, so it might not have been obvious. But we were really close, so I was so turned on and embarrassed at the same time. I kept trying not to look at her because I didn’t want to seem creepy, but after a couple minutes she giggled and said I was holding her wrong, and she took my hands (which were holding her back) and placed them on her ass.

I don’t know how to feel about this. Unlike other girls I’ve done it with, she’s actually a close friend of mine and I respect her so I can’t get the embarrassment out of my mind every time I see her. Neither of us has said anything about it since then, but for some reason I feel like I should apologize to her or something so I can won’t feel awkward and embarrassed around her anymore,

Most Helpful Guys

In America, a guy’s boner stabbing a woman in the gut, including during a slow dance, is worse than sexual assault. It’s like even rape or attempted rape. And in the United States, rape or attempted rape easily carries a maximum sentence of eight hundred (800) years to life in prison, plus often a mandatory requirement to register as a sex offender.

In most other countries, some women might take a guy’s erection against her waist as a compliment. But American women by default are hateful and paranoid of men. American women are programmed, straight from early childhood, to see all men as rapists and sex predators. In fact, reports of guys getting erections while slow dancing, or really any kind of dancing that involves physical contact between two or more persons are the exact reason that, not only has slow dancing in and of itself become completely taboo in the entire United States of America, but country line dancing, or line dancing as it is often called, has taken off like a rocket in popularity. There are even rumors of nightclubs all over America taking out the Disco sphere, remodeling their interiors with wood, putting in wooden dance floors, and going all country aka “honky-tonk.”

If one looks at the dance crowd of any country nightclub, one will see that roughly 95% of the line dancers are women. American women are paranoid of strangers, and they want their 6 feet of personal space, including on the dance floor. And they know that, if the entire crowd is shifting back and forth, side to side, and front to back, doing forward kicks and looking like a military training exercise, freestyle dancers will not go on the dance floor lest they risk getting knocked to the floor by a line dancer and possibly disrupting the dance format, so to put it simple, line dancing is a “shield” that keeps all strangers, especially guys, away from them. And adding to it’s popularity in America, line dancing even helps people at clubs maintain their default ice barriers between strangers, as line dancers will only see the backs of other people on the dance floor. Many country DJs will even count numbers over the microphone at the beginning of each song to make sure everyone line dances and stays within their own personal bubbles.

The only other popular kind of music, especially with college age people, is hardcore rap. The entire present American high school and college generation is a TRASH generation. Toxic, violent, overflowing with a list for violence, including terrorism, and absolutely pulsing with evil. And American women are no less violent in their toxic hearts than even the worst terrorists/war perps in world history; yes, even including Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Timothy McVeigh. Over 90 percent of Americans between 10 and 25 years old are in gangs, many have been in gangs since as young as 8. They love seeing shootings, doing illegal drugs; they are outright entertained by videos of 9/11 and also the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. They love watching strangers die. And it’s no wonder they voted for George W. Bush and Donald Trump.

I’ve been remembering all the great slow dancing songs by the greats – Little Anthony and the Imperials, The Capris, Roy Orbison, The Righteous Brothers, etc. This genre of music was a staple of the late 50’s and early 60’s, but was nearly destroyed by the British Invasion. What great slow dancing songs have been recorded since 1966 that can compare to this?

YsabellaBrave (getting really impatient waiting for her album) just posted a cover of Oh What a Night! by The Dells. I want this kind of music again. Not just covers – but new stuff – that gets the shy guy to ask the (not so) shy girl to dance.

Oh What a Night! YsabellaBrave

So I decided to pick 2 slow dancing songs for each year of the 1960’s. I was amazed to discover that this type of music almost disappeared in the late 60’s. In the early 60’s the charts were full of slow dancing music – led by the doo wop sound – but starting in 1967, I was hard pressed to find two songs I liked and in 1969 I only found one.

So here are my top 19 for the 1960’s. I’m going to split into two posts: 1960-1964 and 1965 – 196.


The Percy Faith Orchestra – Theme From A Summer Place

Kathy Young and the Innocents – A Thousand Stars


The Capris – There’s A Moon Out Tonight

Roy Orbison – Crying


The Duprees – You Belong to Me

Gene Pitney – Town Without Pity


Dale and Grace – I’m Leaving It Up To You

Sunny and the Sunglows – Talk to Me


Gerry and the Pacemakers – Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying

Bobby Vinton – Mr. Lonely

Ever wonder how to dance when a slow song comes on at a wedding or a prom? Slow dancing is an important skill to know whether you are attending a wedding, prom or social event where there is music and social dancing. Slow dancing isn’t too difficult to master as long as you know the basics and practice often. Impress your date at your next event with these 6 easy slow dance steps! And if you’d like to learn more dance moves, make sure check out our Online Dance Programs!

1. Escort your Partner Gracefully

Ask your partner politely by saying “would you like to dance?” or “shall we?” If he or she says yes, hold your partner’s hand and escort him/her to the dance floor. Find a good spot on the dance floor where it isn’t too crowded and start dancing. It’s that simple. But if you’d like to spice it up a little, check out this video for a fancy way to get on to the dance floor.

2. Dance Position

It’s important to start your dance with a good dance position, which allows you to lead or follow your partner better.

Leader —­ Place your right hand behind your partner’s left shoulder blade (cupping the shoulder blade). Make sure your right elbow is up and your elbow bone should be pointed out to your right side.

Follower — Wrap your left arm around your partner’s lifted arm and place your hand around his/her biceps.

Both of you can now bring the other arm up and clasp your hands together. Your elbows should be relaxed and pointed down slightly.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

3. Listen to Music and Find the Beat

Before you start dancing, listen to the song, find the beat and then sway (shift your weight from one foot to another) to the beat of the song. The tempo of the song determines how fast or how slow you move. Watch this video and learn how to dance to the beat.

4. Basic Step

The basic step shown in the video below is perfect for beginners. It is simple to do and work great with a lot of slow dance songs. Practice this repeatedly until it becomes second nature. And when you lead this step, make sure to do this confidently so that your partner can follow you.

5. Spice it Up with a Turn

Once your partner feels comfortable dancing with you, it’s a great idea to spice up your dance with a turn or two. Surprise your partner with this fun turn below!

6. End with a Dip

No dance is complete without an impressive dip. It is like the icing on a cake! Depending how comfortable or experienced your partner is with social dancing, you may want to adjust how low you dip your partner. If you weren’t sure how comfortable your partner feels about being dipped, ask for permission first. Watch this video to learn how to dip your partner safely and confidently.

What is your go-to slow dance move? Please comment below.

Want to learn more? Sign up for our complete online dance program now!

Duet Dance Studio is a group of friendly dancers who are passionate about helping people and sharing the joy of ballroom dance. Our physical studio is located in Chicago West Bucktown. We offer ballroom dance lessons, wedding dance instruction and private dance parties. Online Wedding Dance Lessons and Skype dance lessons are also available! Dances we teach include Salsa, Swing, Tango, Bachata, Merengue, Waltz and Foxtrot. Sign up for an introductory dance lesson now to get started!

Most Helpful Guys

And what’s even more screwed up is he rebought the plane ticket to see you recently but never told you because he was afraid of how you would react. If you would avoid him the whole time he was there or if you would spend your birthday with the other guy. That’s why he still hasn’t told you about the plane ticket he rebought to see you because god only knows how you’ll react or what you’ll do if you’ll avoid seeing him or spend time with the other guy.

But yes he is deeply hurt and angry and depressed over what happened because his heart still loves you and still belongs to you. But the trust that will take a long time to rebuild again since it was betrayed bad by not only the dancing but the kiss as well.

2 and 1/2 years with your SO and this is what happens. How do you think he would react? Everything that I just said in the other comments. He’s hurting bad and it’s going to take a lot more than a few pictures in some half top and jeans to make up for that kind of hurt and betrayal that was caused.

And for the longest time all he ever hoped and prayed for was to hug you to wrap his arms around you and vice versa just to hold you close him and hug him. He don’t want to think about what happened anymore he really don’t but he know he’s going to be stuck looking at those pictures and video scenes for god knows how long now and be reminded every single time that you did all that with another guy. Just put yourself in his shoes and think about how he feels in all this. The cheating the betrayal the mistrust and/or lack of trust the amount of hurt that was caused to him and all that floating around on the internet now by everybody who knows her. 2 and 1/2 years with your SO.

Let me ask you this. When you did this with the other guy did you even put your SO’s feelings into consideration or think about him in the slightest or how he would feel or react when he saw this?

I understand this feeling. I was always loyal to my boyfriend. I thought he was the same until I found out he went to some party I never knew about. It hurt to see those pictures and how much fun he had without me. Others say “stop being insecure it’s just a dance, a little peck on the cheek, its means nothing.” No one should tell you how you feel personally. They are not in your relationship. Intimacy and romance is only supposed to be for the person you are with. This was intimate and it was his choice. His choice to not take me with him. His choice to not dance with me. He could have said “no I have a girlfriend who’s waiting for me at home. She doesn’t deserve to feel betrayed. she’s my world and I want her to be happy” 😔 it hurts more when you still love and miss what they used to be or what you thought they were.

I know that all to well. The screwed up part I never been to any party and I hadn’t kissed a woman since January 2005. And I never danced with another woman since 2005 either. What she did really hurt. She betrayed my trust.


Dances come and go, but the prom stands out as the must-attend social event in high school. Girls often want to make sure they’re asked to the prom by that one special guy. Some guys, whether they’re shy or scared of rejection, have difficulty asking girls out to such a major event. Knowing how to get a guy to ask you to prom can prove helpful not just in finding a date, but in making sure both of you have a fun and memorable time together as well.

Ask him on a date. Go on a casual date with him first. Go to dinner, a movie, a concert or for ice cream with a group of friends. Once he finds out how cute and fun you are, he may be more willing to ask you to prom.

Let him know you’re available. Drop a hint that you’re looking for a prom date while taking care not to sound desperate. Keep your conversation fun and casual to avoid any awkwardness.

Flirt with him to show interest. Smile at him when you see each other in class or in the halls. Let him know through nonverbal communication that you are interested in him and are not seeing anyone at the moment. This will help him feel more comfortable asking you to prom because he won’t have to worry about being rejected.

Have one of your friends mention you to him. This will help you avoid rejection while allowing your friend to gauge his interest level in you. It could also help you find out whether he’s interested in someone else or is planning on asking another girl to prom.

Ask what his plans are that night. This could help ease him into asking you out. Once he feels comfortable discussing his plans for prom night, he might feel more comfortable asking you to prom if he doesn’t already have a date. Be prepared in case he tells you he already has a date for prom.

Ask him to prom. It doesn’t hurt to ask him to prom yourself. He might like the idea of you asking him to prom and may accept your invitation.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

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An amazing list of cute love songs you can slow dance to for your next romantic moment or dance party that could use some romance! These slow dance songs set the mood with the perfect cute love song!

How to ask a girl to slow dance

As cheesy as it may sound, there are few things that kindle romance faster than a slow dance. Sometimes those are at weddings, sometimes parties, and sometimes a random pull over the side of the road fit the bill. I’ve never had a moment with my husband that hasn’t made me smile and feel so attracted to and grateful for him as the times we find one of those best slow dance songs and share a dance. Cute love songs can do so much so quickly!

I’m a sucker for cute love songs you can slow dance to. So much so that I usually gift my husband a playlist of cute love songs that remind me of our relationship. For all those romantic moments, great and small, there’s nothing like a cute love song, and I love having a playlist! In the spirit of the celebration of love this month, I wanted to share some of the best cute love songs you can slow dance to.

Slow Dance Songs

  1. Perfect- Ed Sheeran
    This has been the slow dance song of every wedding we’ve been to this year, and it’s just perfect! Sharing the message that you kind of unexpectedly fall in love and the simple moments make you realize what you have in front of you. Plus who doesn’t love the message that tonight you look perfect?
  2. Make You Feel My Love- Garth Brooks of Adele
    You choose if you’re a little more country or a little more rock and roll, but both versions are amazing! We actually danced to the Adele version on our wedding day and it was one of those sweet moments I’ll never forget. Most couples don’t stop to reflect and bear their soul that they’ll do anything for their significant other, but this is one of those songs that does it perfectly. It’s a sweet moment to dance, feel the romance, and remind yourself of those commitments to each other.

Cute Love Songs

Best Slow Dance Songs

Slow Love Songs

Like these cute love songs to help you on your next date night? Here are other posts you may like too:

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How to ask a girl to slow dance

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AJ Mitchell & Ava Max Lyrics

If you stay for this minute
Girl, I’ll never let you down
We ain’t off the limit
I could hold you after now

No more talking, I don’t know what you wanna do with that
If it’s good, why you even wanna hold it back?
We just work, and I know there’s no coming back
Where you at
Where you at
Where you at

I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now
If we don’t hold hands you’ll be killing me now
I need a
One chance
I just wanna know will you slow dance

I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now
If we don’t hold hands you’ll be killing me now
We need a
One chance
I just wanna know will you slow dance

And do you mind if I say it
Just wanna have you around
We take then we give it
Something lifts us off the ground, baby

No more talk, I don’t know what you wanna do with that
If it’s good, why you even wanna hold it back
We just work, so I know that there’s no going back
Where you at
Where you at
Where you at

I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now (feeling me now)
If we don’t hold hands you’ll be killing me now
I need a
Romance (romance)
One chance (one chance)
I just wanna know will you slow dance

I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now (feeling me now)
If we don’t hold hands you’ll be killing me now (killing me now)
We need a
One chance (one chance)
I just wanna know will you slow dance

It won’t work, it won’t work, it won’t work out
If we don’t have a say in this world now
Taking turns, taking turns in this dance now
I won’t forget about you

I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now
If we don’t hold hands you’ll be killing me now (killing me now now now now now)
We need a
One chance
I just wanna know will you slow dance

I wanna slow dance if you feeling me now
If we don’t hold hands you’ll be killing me now (killing me now)
We need a
One chance (one chance)
I just wanna know will you slow dance

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Location: ANYWHERE in Southern California

Is there any place you know of that is good to take you girl out for some romantic slow dancing? Jazz/Vocal, R&B, Tango, or even Flamenco?

It doesn’t have to be for Valentines Day, I’m looking for something worth going to any night of the week.

It’s not interactive or “romantic slow dancing,” but some girls actually enjoy the shows @ 40-Deuce.

The Conga Room & Coconut Club are both fun and nice places to take your girl—again, not really slow dancing though.

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US2JDMilandhi! Thanks for your input.
I’ll get you back on another thread.

Curtis, good suggestions. Out of the three, we’ve been to The Conga Room on a couple of occasions and have enjoyed it immensely! I love how an evening there can easily be a fun ‘couples night out’ with its 8pm introductory Salsa dance lesson, downstairs Cuban-style restaurant and lounge, and upstairs bar and outdoor patio. Thereafter, the large sized ball room for live acts and dancing completes the evening nicely.

I walk by the Coconut Club (on sunset?) whenever I head to Miyagi’s/Dublin’s, but have never been inside since it seems each night varies in crowd and music. I’ll have to get their calendar.

40 Deuce sounds very familiar, but I pretty sure I’ve never been their either. I look into that as well. Thanks a lot man!

The Conga Room is pretty cool. I’ve only been there once cuz most of my buddies & their ladies down there aren’t too adventurous, but I had a fun time even though I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. The crowd is really friendly and diverse, which is kinda refreshing for a LA club.

I’ve only been to the Coconut Club for drinks. not sure if we’re talking about the same one, but the one I’m referring to is in the Beverly Hilton. The whole joint is owned by Merv Griffin, and he dumped a LOAD of $$$ into revamping everything, incl. the club a few years back. Very nice place to chill and get your quiet groove on too. Like you mentioned, they have different themes most nights, so you should check what’s going on ahead of time.

40-Deuce is the “upscale” burlesque place (glorified strip joint) that’s been hot w/the Hollywood crowd for a while. There’s no nudity, but I’ve heard the shows are actually really good (choreography & production. SERIOUSLY!!) From time to time, stars drop in and perform. Carmen Electra has been up there quite a few times. A few of my friends have been there and say the place is pretty small and hard to get into sometimes, but they had fun.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

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How to ask a girl to slow dance

Weddings are events that linger in people’s minds long after they are over for obvious reasons. They’re heavily photographed, video recorded, and talked about for years. They are also the beginning of a new chapter for two people and their families. The wedding is possibly one of the first memories of the families coming together, and the dance gives them a chance to make it a fun experience.

One of the most fun elements in many weddings is the dance. Some brides and grooms involve the entire wedding party in a dance production that involves hours and hours of practice, but there is nothing wrong with a more traditional approach to the wedding dance. Whichever you choose is fine, but make sure you keep in mind that if you do something embarrassing, it’ll be hard to forget.

Commonly Asked Question About the Wedding Dance

Question: What is proper wedding dance etiquette?

Answer: There is more than one answer to this question, depending on what you choose: the traditional dance or what’s currently in style. Traditionally, there’s a proper order for brides and grooms to dance with each other. Dances at more contemporary weddings are totally up to the couple.

Traditional Wedding Dance Order

Although there’s a specific order for the traditional wedding dance, any part of it may be changed according to needs and tastes of the couple. Make sure everyone in the entire wedding party understands their part.

  • After the introduction of the newlyweds and the rest of the wedding party, the couple share the first dance. Many brides and grooms practice this dance before the wedding because they know everyone will be watching.
  • The next set of dances are reserved for the couple and their parents. In a heterosexual partnership, the bride dances with her father, and the groom dances with the bride’s mother. After that, the bride’s parents dance together, the groom asks his mother to dance, then the groom’s parents dance together. In a same-sex wedding, the important thing is for the couple to have an opportunity to dance with their parents, their spouse’s parents, and for the parents to have time on the dance floor with each other.
  • Now it’s the wedding party’s turn. The couple’s groomsmen and bridesmaids (or attendants) have the opportunity to dance with both spouses. These can be for entire or partial songs, depending on the length of the reception.
  • Eventually, all the wedding guests should have some time on the dance floor.

Remember that all of these traditions are editable. There may be variables that prevent tradition, such as a disabled or deceased parent. Remember that the main goal of dancing at weddings is for the guests to have fun celebrating the new couple and often to create a tender moment that will have everyone swooning.

Fun and Contemporary Wedding Dance Trends

Couples are getting more creative with their wedding dances, and you’re likely to see a variety of moves on the dance floor. Some of them post to social media and YouTube, so you can do a search to see what others are doing.

Any of these trends may be copied or used for inspiration:

  • A choreographed couple’s ballroom dance that is clearly well rehearsed. This typically takes hours of dance lessons and preparation.
  • A surprise dance that has been choreographed to shake up the reception. This typically starts out slow and romantic. Then the music stops, the newlyweds look at each other in mock surprise, and then they bust out some moves that have the guests doubled over laughing. The rest of the wedding party may or may not be involved.
  • Wedding party dance that looks like a stage production. What better way to bond with your bridesmaids and groomsmen than spending your evenings leading up to the big day in a dance studio?

General Wedding Dance Tips

  • For the first dance, choose a song that you love and is meaningful to your relationship.
  • Practice dancing to the song before the wedding. If either of you has little or no experience on the dance floor, take a lesson from a professional. A few ballroom dance lessons can make a big difference between feeling clumsy and having confidence to dance in front of others.
  • If your wedding dress(es) are long or have trains, bustle it so you don’t trip over it.
  • Wear shoes that are comfortable for dancing. If you aren’t used to high heels, wear lower heels or flats.

Timeline After the Traditional Wedding Party Dances

After the bridal couple dances, and all of the traditional dances are satisfied, many couples choose their song list for dancing based on who will be attending and their sensibilities. Although the wedding and reception should be focused on the couple, it is always good form to show respect for the people who have taken time out of their busy lives to share the experience.

Choose a song list that suits your tastes and the sensibilities of the guests:

  • You may not want to subject some of the attendees to unfamiliar tunes right off the bat, so start out with music that is milder in content. If your great-aunt and grandparents are there, they will appreciate some music from their era.
  • In a subtle way, you can let the guests know that the music will change as the afternoon or evening wears on, so they can enjoy the earlier part of the night and leave when they sense the transition to something that might make them uncomfortable.
  • Include the parents of the bride(s) and groom(s) in song selection. You don’t need to let them choose every song, but giving them some choice shows that you respect and care enough to make them happy.

Enjoy the Dance

Regardless of what style or dance order you choose, enjoy it. This is a celebration, and everyone on the dance floor should have a good time.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

  • March 07, 2014
  • Category : Songs

When love is in the air, nothing seems impossible. Love is a feeling that is calming and inspiring. Couples in love seldom are aware of things happening around them, and that’s the way it should be when in love. This article showcases a list of slow dance songs every couple in love should sway to.

Slow dance songs have a magical effect when you are in love. You reach for your partner and begin dancing almost instantaneously. Even if you are blessed with two left feet you sway with the tempo of slow dance songs. Love songs with a slow tempo give nostalgia new meaning. Whether you’re an old couple or a young couple, the moment a lyrical slow dance number plays you want to get up and sway or dance to the music. It’s the feel of slow dance songs that evoke natural responses among couples.

In fact, a number of couples globally make up after a fight or argument over slow dance numbers playing in the background. Love songs fuel new levels of passion which in turn help cement a relationship.

Slow dance songs can change mood

Slow dance songs have the ability to transform mood. If your partner is in a grumpy mood or is stressed because of decisions at the workplace, the best way to ease and calm the mind is by playing romantic dance songs. What slow dance songs do is create a peaceful ambiance that relaxes the mind. Slow swaying or slow dancing reduces levels of stress enormously. When you sway to the tunes of slow romantic songs with you partner, you actually feel that calming presence come over you. Couples that sway to slow dance songs on a regular basis are less likely to engage in arguments or fights.

Slow dance songs at weddings

The song list of slow dance songs played at a wedding is usually selected by the newlywed couple. However, sometimes the wedding planner also prepares a song list of slow dance songs to be played at weddings in consultation with the couple to be married. Slow dance songs at wedding receptions are always the most anticipated by guests at a reception. Why? Because everybody gets in a romantic mood when slow dance songs are played. Couples invariably end up in each other’s arms dancing on slow dance songs even if they are shy. Romantic dance songs stem a euphoric feeling that remains within for a long time.

The list of slow dance songs below can be played in the confines of your bedroom or at weddings, anniversaries, birthday parties, prom nights, reunions, engagements, and Valentine’s Day celebrations. This space features slow dance songs from the 60s, 70s, 80, 90s and 2000s. Wherever you play these songs, be happy and let love grow.

100 Greatest slow dance songs for couples

  1. Memories of Us- Keith Urban
  2. Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
  3. Lady In Red- Chris de Burgh
  4. Unchained Melody- The Righteous Brothers
  5. Nothings Gonna Change My love for You- George Benson
  6. Annie’s Song- John Denver
  7. What a Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong
  8. In My Life- The Beatles
  9. Love Will Keep Us Alive- The Eagles
  10. When a man Loves a Woman- Percy Sledge
  11. Faithfully- Journey
  12. Can’t Help Falling In Love With You- Elvis Presley
  13. Walk Through This world with Me- George Jones
  14. You’re Still the One- Shania Twain
  15. I Swear- All-4-One
  16. We Belong Together- Richie Valens
  17. Amazed-Lonestar
  18. I Will Always Love You- Whitney Housten
  19. Always on My Mind- Willie Nelson
  20. Have I told You lately That I love You?- Rod Stewart
  21. How Deep Is Your Love- Bee Gees
  22. You Mean Everything to Me- Neil Sedaka
  23. (Everything I do) I do it for You- Bryan Adams
  24. Love Me Tender- Elvis Presley
  25. My Heart Will Go On- Celine Dion
  26. I Knew I loved You- Savage Garden
  27. And I Love Her- The Beatles
  28. Just the Way you Are- Billy Joel
  29. Take my Breath Away- Berlin
  30. Can You Feel the Love Tonight- Elton John
  31. Endless Love- Lionel Richie/Diana Ross
  32. Power of Love- Jenifer Rush
  33. Wind Beneath My Wings- Bette Midler
  34. Sealed With a Kiss- Bobby Vinton
  35. At Last- Etta James
  36. Groovy Kind of Love- Phil Collins
  37. Baby I love Your Way- Peter Frampton
  38. Feelings- Morris Albert
  39. She’s Got a Way- Billy Joel
  40. If- Bread
  41. Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden
  42. Because You loved Me- Celene Dion
  43. Come Away With Me- Norah Jones
  44. Right Here Waiting- Richard Marx
  45. I’d Love You To Want Me- Lobo
  46. Lay Lady Lay- Bob Dylan
  47. Fallin- Alicia Keys
  48. A Whole New World- Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle
  49. Stand By Me- Ben E. King
  50. Valentine- Martina McBride
  51. Little Moments- Brad Paisley
  52. Fields of Gold- Sting
  53. Luckiest- Ben Folds
  54. Kiss Form A Rose- Seal
  55. Time After Time- Cyndi Lauper
  56. I’ll Make Love To You- Boyz 2 Men
  57. Truly- Lionel Richie
  58. I’m Yours- Jason Marz
  59. You had Me from Hello- Kenny Chesney
  60. Your Song- Elton John
  61. Is This Love- Whitesnake
  62. Strangers In The Night- Frank Sinatra
  63. Something- The Beatles
  64. Chasing Cars- Snow patrol
  65. I’ll Never Break Your Heart- Backstreet Boys
  66. Open Arms- Journey
  67. Then- Brad Paisley
  68. Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
  69. Save The Best for Last- Vanessa Williams
  70. Don’t Dream Its Over- Crowded House
  71. You are the Sunshine of my Life- Stevie Wonder
  72. Sweet Thing- Van Morrison
  73. Yellow- Coldplay
  74. Better Together- Jack Johnson
  75. Don’t Know Much- Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville
  76. With or Without You- U2
  77. Like a Star- Corrine Bailey Rae
  78. More Than I can Say- Leo Sayer
  79. More Than Words- Extreme
  80. All I Have To Do Is Dream- The Everly Brothers
  81. Cherish- Kool and the Gang
  82. You Give Me Something- James Morrison
  83. Tonight I Celebrate My Love- Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack
  84. She’s Everything- Brad Paisley
  85. Up Where We Belong- Jennifer Warnes and Joe Cocker
  86. I’ll Be There- The Jackson 5
  87. When I need You- Leo Sayer
  88. Let’s Make Love- Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
  89. Always- Atlantic Starr
  90. I Won’t Let Go- Rascal Flatts
  91. This I Promise You- N Sync
  92. I don’t Want to Miss a Thing- Bryan Adams
  93. Here and Now- Luther Vandross
  94. I’ll Stand by You- The Pretenders
  95. We’ve Got Tonight- Bob Seger
  96. Let’s Stay Together- Al Green
  97. When the Girl in Your Arms Is the Girl in Your Heart- Cliff Richard
  98. You’re the Inspiration- Chicago
  99. How Do I Live- LeAnn Rimes
  100. Almost Paradise- Mark Reno and Ann Wilson

Feel free to have your say in the comments sections.


If that initial spark of electrical attraction that you feel for your crush-turned-girlfriend makes you want to put your relationship on the fast track, but your girlfriend says she wants to take things slow, put patience above the urge to push. Respect her opinion and take things down a notch.

Explore this article

  • Respect Her
  • Careful Communication
  • Practice Patience
  • Live in the Moment

1 Respect Her

Your girlfriend has boundaries, and you need to respect them. Respecting your significant other’s beliefs, values and opinions is part of having a healthy relationship, according to the website. Make it a point to see her view and understand why she’s making this decision. Respect for her needs shows that you care enough about her to take things at a pace that she can handle. For example, perhaps she’s grown up with religious beliefs that say she shouldn’t get into a mature relationship until she’s ready for marriage. Or, perhaps she had a past relationship that ended badly, so she’s less comfortable speeding things along in this new relationship. Showing respect for her boundaries can help her to feel more comfortable in the relationship and build a greater sense of trust between the two of you, deepening your connection.

2 Careful Communication

Chances are, your girlfriend’s preference for taking things slow is not just a random decision that she made with the intent of frustrating you. Create an open line of communication, in which you both discuss what you’re comfortable with. If she’s shy to open up, ask her to be completely honest with you about how fast or slow she wants to take your relationship. This also means that you should do the same. That said, avoid asking aggressively or making it seem like you think her ideas are silly. For example, try something like, “I care about you and want us to be able to talk about everything. I want you to feel comfortable as we define our boundaries and build the trust between us.”

3 Practice Patience

Pushing your girl to speed things up when she wants to go slow might prematurely end your relationship. Instead of giving in to your fast-track mind, rushing to a level that she isn’t ready for, practice patience. Practicing patience provides you both with the time to truly get to know each other and to build an emotional connection. You can spend time together talking and exploring each other’s personality, learning about each other in a way that goes deeper than something that is purely physical.

4 Live in the Moment

Savor the simple things — spending the day at the park together, holding hands under a starry sky or a simple dinner out with friends. If your girl wants to take things slow, stop thinking about what you aren’t doing and focus on the now. Think about how you feel when you’re with her. Take your relationship day by day, staying in the present and not worrying about what will happen a week, a month or even a year from now.

I have seen this a few times through our social circles on occasion. There is this guy, probably late 50s, kind of the “life of the party”. but usually he is such due to a good amount of booze he gets in him.

This one woman that I’ve seen at other events shows up, so we’re talking as we’re somewhat familiar with each other, we were catching up. We’re just acquaintances.

This (I call him dirty old man), comes up to this woman and she knows him rather well and he’s huggin’ on her awkwardly too long, with him goin’ “Heeyyyyyyyy, hoooon!”

He rather interjects on our conversation, but that’s fine that’s we all kind of do anyhow, someone doesn’t see someone in a while. I’ll let them get reacquainted.

I get to talking to another person just to the right of me, so I’m mingling with them on their friends
(It’s kind of close quarters anyway.)

Few mins later, I see this drunk guy slow dancing with said woman, feeling her up with his hands. I mean, he must’ve been latched onto her like a baby Koala bear on it’s mother. LOL

And she was letting him. Go figure.

When he actually detaches himself to talk to someone else. she sees me and goes, “Meh, I’ve known him a long time. he’s cool!”

BTW, she is involved with someone, and I jokingly said, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell your boyfriend! ” and laughed.

But I was like ‘Wow! She’s loose.”

But there is something I’ve noticed, if a woman is familiar enough with a guy. depending on the woman, she’ll let him feel her up. LOL

I think she saw him as “Safe” and she thought, “Meh, let him have a little fun!”

Man, if I did that, I’d get kicked in the nuts. but apparently there’s a degree a familiarity there where she feels she’s “safe”.

By Aria Gmitter — Written on Oct 01, 2021

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Women love romance and its mysterious nature. There’s something about those intimate gestures of true love and deep affection from the one who gets our emotions flowing that stirs up our most passionate nature in an instant.

When a man goes out of his way to make sure the woman he loves knows he was thinking of her when she wasn’t around and there was no special occasion he needed to remember, it reminds her of exactly what is was that made her swoon when they first fell for each other.

Romantic expressions may be grand or expensive, but they certainly don’t need to be.

The word romantic originated in the seventeenth century when it was used to describe imagination and inventiveness in English storytelling as well as characterizing scenery and paintings.

But what is romance, and what do women mean when they talk about “being romantic”?

Romance is what makes the love between two people so damn amazing. It’s what draws the distinguishing line between this relationship and all others in each of your lives.

So when a woman asks you to be more romantic, she isn’t asking you to spend more money, to do something spectacular, or to pretend to be old-fashioned in some way you’re not.

For most women, being romantic means going out of your way to express tenderness.

It means revealing to her what you already know yourself — that there’s something about her that brings out a part of you no one else gets to see.

Being romantic means that as busy as you are, you will always make time — whatever time you can spare — to show her you are there for her and will continue to be.

Being romantic means you are willing to put yourself in an awkward position at times in order to grow with her, for her, and for yourself.

Being romantic means showing her that even though you know she is capable of taking care of herself, you want to take care of her in your own ways — and you want to let her take care of you right back.

There are endless ways to add romance and spice to your relationship in ways that remind her that you cherish, love, and want her (all of which will be returned to you in spades!).

If you want to be more romantic, try taking a hint from this list of 25 examples to show her you understand what romance means to a woman.

Slow Dance
by David L. Weatherford

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to rain slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun fading into the night?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly,
when you ask “How are you?”, do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.

Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,
’cause you never had time to call and say hi?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
it’s like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn’t a race, so take it slower,
hear the music before your song is over.

Reprinted with permission from the author

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How to ask a girl to slow dance

During the reception there are certain events that everyone looks forward to: the entrance of the newlyweds, the buffet line opening, and of course, the first dance. The first dance is a special moment during the reception because it’s one of the only times during the wedding that you get a chance to slow down, take a breath, and soak everything in—and all to the soundtrack of your favorite song.

But how out of thousands of songs do you choose one that really speaks to you? What if you don’t have an “our song”? We’ve gathered 75 first dance songs that will hopefully give you inspiration for your moment in the spotlight as a newlywed couple. Happy listening!

Classics or Standard Songs for Your First Dance

When you’re looking for songs that are classic, timeless, or that have the most tear-jerker worthy lyrics, look no further than this list. Classic or “standard” songs are always crowd pleasers, and it’s highly unlikely that you’ll look back on your wedding song and laugh or cringe.

At Last – Etta James

Cheek to Cheek – Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong

Everything – Michael Bublé

The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You – Frankie Valli

When I Fall in Love – Nat King Cole, Natalie Cole

When a Man Loves a Woman – Percy Sledge

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes – The Platters

Then He Kissed Me – The Crystals

The Look of Love – Dusty Springfield

Somethin’ Stupid – Nancy Sinatra

You Send Me – Sam Cooke

All of Me – Billie Holiday

Oldies but Goodies for Your First Dance

If you and your partner consider yourselves stuck musically in the past, then this list is for you. You have no idea what the cool kids are listening to these days, and that’s perfectly okay with you. Slow dancing to the oldies suits the two of you just fine.

My All – Mariah Carey

By Your Side – Sade

For Once in My Life – Stevie Wonder

The Sweetest Thing – Lauryn Hill

All My Life – K-Ci & JoJo

For You I Will – Monica

Is This Love – Bob Marley

Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

Truly – Lionel Richie

Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel

Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) – Stevie Wonder

Can’t Help Falling in Love – Elvis Presley

Country Music Songs for Your First Dance

Whether you are wearing a cowboy hat and boots to your wedding, or you just plan on doing a lot of two stepping at your reception, these are some perfect country love songs for your first dance.

If I Were a Carpenter – Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash

Rose of My Heart – Johnny Cash

Makin’ Plans – Miranda Lambert

Free – Zac Brown Band

When I Said I Do – Clint Black, Lisa Hartman Black

Then – Brad Paisley

God Gave Me You – Blake Shelton

I Cross My Heart – George Strait

Tennessee Whiskey – Chris Stapleton

Rock and Roll Songs for Your First Dance

Even rock stars fall in love occasionally—and luckily they gave us some of the best love songs in history. If you don’t consider yourselves the classic love song kind of couple, these songs might just be for you.

Fell in Love with a Girl – The White Stripes

Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton

She – Elvis Costello

Here, There and Everywhere – The Beatles

Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney

Baby I Love You – Ramones

Lovesong – The Cure

Just Like Heaven – The Cure

Pop Songs for Your First Dance

When it comes to your musical taste, you prefer top 40 and anything that’s topped the charts. These are some of the best pop songs in recent years that will make you sway and swoon on the dance floor.

Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran

I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz

All of Me – John Legend

Coming Home – Leon Bridges

Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars

A Thousand Years – Christina Perri

How Long Will I Love You – Ellie Goulding

Count on Me – Bruno Mars

Adore You – Miley Cyrus

Make You Feel My Love – Adele

Only Love – Ben Howard

You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

Marry You – Bruno Mars

Indie Songs for Your First Dance

You might not call yourself hipsters, but let’s just say that you prefer your music on the alternative side. Here are some indie hits (old and new) that would be perfect for the coolest of the cool couples to dance to.

Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap

Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova (Music from “Once”)

Home – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Better Together – Jack Johnson

First Day of My Life – Bright Eyes

Oh, It Is Love – Hellogoodbye

Eyes – Rogue Wave

Tougher Than the Rest – Camera Obscura

Electric Love – BØRNS

I Will Be There – Odessa

Sea of Love – Cat Power

Love is a Verb – John Mayer

Lucky – Jason Mraz

A Beautiful Mess – Jason Mraz

Can’t Help Falling in Love – Ingrid Michaelson

How to ask a girl to slow dance

When we meet someone and fall head over heels for her, we may feel that the only thing that matters is being with her and doing every little thing together. It is such an exciting time in any person’s relationship, but sometimes one of the two partners may decide they want to take things slow. What exactly does it mean when a girl asks you to slow down?

What Do You Do If She Wants To Take Things Slow?

People may decide they want to slow the way a relationship is going for a number of reasons. There isn’t necessarily a reason to get upset and despair if she says that’s what she wants (although sometimes there is). Here are some of the reasons she might have for it.

One reason a girl may want to slow things down is that she has rushed into a relationship previously and it didn’t work out well. If we experience a flash-in-the-pan kind of situation once, we may choose to be more cautious in our next relationship to avoid the same thing happening again. Understand her reasons and allow her to take stock of things before you move forward.

Another reason why she may not want to give it her all from the start is that she may know her own character well enough to know she’s the kind of person who gets carried away easily. In this instance, she may be trying to do the right thing by you, trying to make sure her feelings are deep and genuine and not just lust and excitement for a new romance. Give her the time and space she needs to make sure she really does have feelings for you, saving yourself from future hurt too.

On the other hand, she could be more reluctant to move on as fast as you are willing to for fear of being ghosted. It may be that she is coming from a hurtful online flirting experience where she expressed her feelings openly and fell victim to ghosting. In this case, she will opt for a calmer, more relaxed kind of relationship where she will only express her true emotions when she feels secure enough in what you have. If you’re genuinely interested in her, you should respect her decision and subtly show her she is safe with you, so that she will seek to see/ hear more of you as she feels safer and safer.

The Worst-Case Scenarios

A fourth, less hopeful, reason she may have asked you to take things slow is that she is very unsure about the way she feels. Maybe you are more invested in the relationship that she wants to be and this is scaring her away. If this is the case, she could be after a situationship with you, not a real relationship.

Even worse, she may be trying to let you down gently by cooling things off and then distancing herself little by little as she does not have the guts to openly tell you she’s no longer interested in a relationship with you.

If you fear that the latter is the case, it’s a good idea to have the talk with her and clear the air. Be prepared to end things if the answers you get are not as pleasant as you may wish for them to be. In any case, there is no reason to waste your time trying to figure things out without discussing where you stand with her.

Whatever the reason a girl might ask you to take things slow, you can only respect her decision and, depending on why she has made it, either give your relationship some air to breathe or finish things and move on to something new and better.

The comedian tells of how he would be rejected at discos, and why he initially kept his interest in impressions from his family.

Monday 18 May 2020 08:14, UK

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Sir Lenny Henry has revealed some girls did not want to dance with him when he was young because he was “a black guy”.

He told of how when going to discos while growing up in the West Midlands, he would try to slow dance with girls.

The 61-year-old comedian told the Grounded With Louis Theroux podcast: “If you wanted to meet members of the opposite sex you’ve got to go to a place where they might be and where they might be was St Thomas’ disco next to the church.

“You would spend nearly all evening ignoring them and then in the last five minutes, there would be this rush to the dance floor to try and slow dance with a girl.”

Boys would “try to cram the whole dancing with the girl thing” into the last minutes in the hope they would “get a snog”, he said.

Sir Lenny added: “I would ask anyone to dance, I didn’t want to be left out and my friends would be dancing with girls.

“Some girls wouldn’t dance with me because I was a black guy.”

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How to ask a girl to slow dance4:28

Sir Lenny also told of how he initially kept his interest in impressions from his family while still living at home.

Asked why he kept his parents unaware, Sir Lenny said: “Because this wasn’t something you did in the house that was pure ‘hintegration’ park life stuff.

“That was something I did with my white friends. they had no idea. my mum was the main funny person (in) our house.”

Sir Lenny said making “wise jokes” as a child prompted “a slap round the head”.

He said: “There was no wise-cracking from a child in our house because that was seen as being cheeky and overstepping the mark.

“So, if you cracked wise jokes in earshot of your parents, you would get a slap round the head. in our house, my mum was the funny one, end of story. it was like a little secret I held in my heart for quite a long time.”

How to ask a girl to slow dance

You like him. He likes you. Now what? Where do you go from here?

Working through the nitty-gritty of a relationship can be exciting and confusing at the same time. How do you figure out if a guy is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Throughout the years of doing this relationship thing, I’ve consistently fallen back on this one strategy: Ask questions.

Don’t rush into a relationship and close your eyes and ears. Take the time needed to dig deep.

Taking the time to slow down and ask yourself (and your man) questions is key. Don’t rush into a relationship and close your eyes and ears. Take the time needed to dig deep. Listen. Each question could lead you to another question that will help bring clarity.

This list of fifty questions is a great place to start. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a great place to get started. I’ll also link to a few other blogs, books, and websites to help you continue the process.

50 Questions to Ask Before Falling in Love

Spiritual Questions to Ask Him

1. Can you explain the gospel to me?
2. How important is your relationship with Jesus?
3. What importance does prayer play in your life?
4. What is your view on church involvement?
5. What does your personal quiet time look like?
6. How would you lead your family spiritually?
7. What is your perspective on sharing the gospel?
8. Do you have regular accountability in your life? What does it look like?
9. What are the last five spiritual books you’ve read?
10. What is your favorite book in the Bible and why?
11. Who is your spiritual hero and why?

General Questions to Ask Him

12. Why do you want to be in a relationship with me?
13. What do you see as my best character qualities?
14. What do you see as my weakest character qualities?
15. What does your vision of a happy family look like?
16. What motivates and excites you?
17. How would you describe a good work ethic?
18. How important is integrity to you? Why?
19. How would you maintain purity in our relationship?
20. What are your convictions on alcohol?
21. What are your convictions on media choices (movies, music, books, etc.)?
22. What are your convictions on modesty?
23. What are your convictions on speeding?

Questions to Ask Each Other

24. What is your testimony?
25. What is your ideal church to attend?
26. What is your understanding of biblical womanhood? Use Scripture to make your point.
27. What is your understanding of biblical manhood? Use Scripture to make your point.
28. Do you have any interest in working in ministry? If so, what specifically?
29. How important is entertainment in your life (movies, TV, video games, social media, etc.)?
30. What are your views on health and exercise?
31. What is your perspective on finances and debt?
32. What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

Questions to Ask Those Who Know Him Well

33. What cautions or red flags do I need to know about him?
34. What is his reputation like?
35. Can you see the two of us making a great marriage?
36. Would you encourage your daughter to get to know him?

Questions You Need to Figure Out

37. Why do I like him?
38. Does he push me closer to Christ?
39. How does he treat/talk about his mom?
40. How does he love those closest to him?
41. Is now a good time for us to pursue a relationship?
42. What gets me most excited about this person?
43. What do his actions/priorities say are important to him?
44. Is he secure in Christ or does he “need” me in order to be happy?
45. Am I secure in Christ or do I “need” a boyfriend in order to be happy?
46. Could I see myself living the rest of my life with this person?
47. Do I want to be with this guy?
48. Have I prayed about this relationship?
49. What do the people closest to me think about this relationship?
50. What cautions do my parents/mentors have?

These questions are only the start. I encourage you to use them as a launching pad to help you discern if this man is someone you should get to know.

This article was originally published on Lies Young Women Believe. Used with permission.

Did you know that the way you hug your partner reveals a lot about your relationship?

Yes, there are different types of hugs, and each type tells a different story about your relationship. But, the one you do on a regular basis will describe your relationship in the best way. So, if you are curious to find out what the different types of hugs suggest about your relationship, go through this blog, and all your questions will get answered. Also, these are some of the types of hugs guys like a lot.

1. ‘Rest-On-Shoulder’ Hug

In this hug, a girl puts her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and this way they like to converse for hours. Therefore, if you often love to hug your guy this way, there is an enormous amount of love, warmth, and understanding in your relationship. His touch is comfortable and peaceful for you.

2. From The Back Hug

The meaning of this hug is ambiguous. By hugging you from the back, your partner is trying to tell you that he has been missing you from quite a long time. And, if your partner hugs you this way on a regular basis then, know that he always wants to make you feel loved. It also suggests that he is protective towards you when he wraps his arms around your waist from the back.

3. The ‘Grasp On Waist’ Hug

This is a kind of intimate hug that suggests that you share a very close bond with your partner where there is love, trust, and romance. This is a beautiful way of making things spiced up between you and your partner. This type of hug suggests that your guy is deeply into you and wants to embrace you.

4. ‘Never Let You Go’ Hug

It is a kind of a hug when two people hold each other close and tight. This intense hug when a guy hugs you with both arms suggests that both of them have a fear of letting each other go. Also known as deadlock hug, this hug elaborates deep commitment, trust, and forever togetherness. So, if you and your partner share this kinda hug, it means you guys are very serious about each other. Hence, you see a future together.

5. The ‘Eye-To-Eye’ Hug

When two people look in each other’s eyes and hug each other, it means that love is in the air. It demonstrates true love and affection. So, if your partner hugs you this way, you can consider yourself lucky because it is a sign that he or she is a keeper and he or she is irrevocably in love with you.

6. The ‘Slow Dance’ Hug

This hug is all about passionate love and romance between two people wherein the guy wraps his arms around the girl’s waist, while the girl wraps her arms around the guy’s neck, evoking a sense of high school kind of romance. So, if you and your partner hug this way, you are allowing your love life to live and grow.

7. The One-Arm Hug

This kind of hug is considered as a half hug wherein a person reaches an arm around his or her partner. This kind of hug is often shared between couples in a public space where they can’t go for a public display of affection. It’s more about being next to each other in a comfortable way.

8. The Perfectly Pervert Hug

Well, this hug is a perfect way of telling how intense your sexual attraction is for one another. So, when you partner grabs your lower back while you hug him or her, it means that your partner is ready to tell how he or she feels about you without any feeling of shame. That’s why we named this hug as ‘perfectly pervert hug’ because it’s absolutely okay to share this kind of hug with your partner.

9. The ‘Back Stroke’ Hug

This hug represents reassurance. So, when you and your partner rub each other’s back while sharing a hug, you guys are actually trying to convey that how much you care for each other. In short, this is the kind of hug you would always want to share with your partner whenever you are sad or feeling low because this hug makes you feel comfortable and secure.

10. The Pickpocket Hug

When both the partners put their hands into the pockets of each other and share a hug, it means they are very comfortable with each other. So, if you and your partner love to share a hug in this way and find the silence between you two comfortable at that moment, your love is true.

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Father daughter dance is a special moment at a wedding but often get overlooked. Many people thought they could simply “wing” it but soon realized how awkward it could feel dancing in front of a big wedding party. Below are a few easy steps to help you get started with your father daughter dance. Enjoy!

1. Choose a Song

Before you learn to dance, begin with finding a song that both you and your daughter like. It could be a song that has special meaning to you, a song that you used to sing to her when she was little, or a song that is simply fun with a great dance beat! It’s really up to you. Remember to dance no more than 2 and a half minutes of the song. It’s important to keep your father-daughter dance short and sweet. Dancing a minute in front of a crowd can feel like forever especially for novices. If you need help finding a song, feel free to check out these posts below.

2. Learn the Basic

The basic step shown in the video below is perfect for beginners. It is simple to do and work great with a lot of father daughter dance songs. Practice this repeatedly until it becomes second nature to you.

3. Learn a Spin

Once you get comfortable dancing the basic, you can incorporate a turn or two to make your father-daughter dance more interesting. Watch this video and learn a simple yet elegant right turn.

4. Dress it Up with a Graceful Intro

Before you start dancing, you can simply walk your daughter out to the dance floor and get into the dance position. But if you’d like to dress it up a little, use this intro idea as an inspiration.

5. End with a Picture Perfect Dip

No dance is complete without a fancy dip! Watch this video and learn how to safely and gracefully dip your daughter. Make sure to practice this often and adjust how low you dip your daughter depending on your comfort level.

6. Have Fun and Enjoy!

Lastly, don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the learning process. Dancing with your daughter on her big day is going to be one of the most cherished moments. Don’t worry if you made a mistake on the dance floor. No one is judging your dancing skills. Simply smile, have fun and enjoy this lovely moment dancing with your daughter.


Cover photo credit: Modern Wedding Solutions

How to ask a girl to slow dance

After all the bad first dates, awkward hookups, and rude ghostings, you finally met someone with relationship potential.

The only problem? You don’t want to move too fast (been there, done that), and you don’t want to get bored taking it slow.

But—stay with me here—those aren’t your only options. You can take it slow and keep things interesting.

“Taking it slow gives you a chance to get to know one another and see if you have similar interests and enjoy spending time together,” says Elisa Gizzo, an associate marriage and family therapist at Andrea Cornell Marriage and Family Therapy in New York City.

“Having fun is key.” But before you can get to the fun stuff, you should know exactly what “taking it slow” means to the person you’re dating.

While it might seem obvious, different people have different definitions, explains Dr. Terri Orbuch, professor at Oakland University in Michigan, and author of Finding love again: 6 Simple steps to a new and happy relationship.

For some, she says, taking it slow could mean waiting to become a couple, while other people might think of it as waiting to have sex. And for others, Orbuch says “taking it slow” might mean waiting to become committed or emotionally vulnerable.

Clearly, this can get confusing. So before doing anything (at any speed), make sure you and your date are on the same page.

While it can feel a little intimidating to be that direct with someone you just started dating, “it doesn’t hurt to be honest about what you’re looking for,” says Gizzo.

“Often times, if two people are in two different life phases and ready for different levels of commitment, it’s better to know before growing close to one another.”

Think of it as a mini-version of “the talk,” and—fingers crossed— it goes well. (But even if it doesn’t, at least you found out sooner rather than later.) Once you’re both ready to take it slow, here’s how to keep things interesting:

1. Try new things together

When you’re taking it slow, you have all the time in the world to actually—get this—enjoy dating. That’s because you’re probably going on more legit dates with your person, so you have more opportunities to make them fun and exciting (read: not dinner and a movie).

“It’s fun to explore new things,” says Gizzo. “And trying something new together can place you both in a position where you’re newbies to the activity, and you can bond over how ‘out of place’ or natural the new activity feels.”

Not to mention that, according to Gizzo, doing a new activity hits “the novelty-seeking reward systems of the brain,” which creates a sense of excitement and joy—you know, how dating should be.

2. Share something you love with your new partner

Figuring out compatibility is pretty important, so Gizzo suggests sharing your interests—whether it’s rock climbing, comedy, trying new foods—with the person you’re dating to help you decide if it’s a match.

This will help you feel more comfortable on a date, while helping your partner get to know you and your world. Win-win.

3. Ask these questions

Let’s be real, starting every convo with “how was your day?” can only get you so far in a relationship.

To really figure out if you and this person have long-term potential, Orbuch recommends asking questions that will tell you something significant about the other person’s opinions and values.

She suggests asking questions such as: “If you won the lottery, where would you travel to and why?”

“What are you most proud of?” and “What’s your definition of success?” This will help you establish emotional intimacy.

4. Find creative ways to stay connected

Even when you’re purposely putting extra time and energy into dating someone, you’re still going to be busy with work, friends, family–the list goes on.

To keep things interesting in between meet-ups, use technology to your advantage.

Orbuch recommends sending each other “fun, romantic texts during the day” and “cartoons or jokes” that you can laugh about the next time you’re together. Memes make the heart grow fonder, right?

5. Don’t use texting as a crutch

Sure, texting is super convenient, but it’s not the best form of communication when you’re just getting to know someone.

“Keep texting to a minimum and focus more on setting dates to spend quality time together,” says Gizzo.

Both Gizzo and Orbuch encourage daters to talk on the phone and video chat to deepen your connection.

Plus, you get to spend more time actually enjoying the other person’s company, rather than over-analysing the meaning of their last text.

However you decide to keep things interesting while taking it slow, your main priority should be having a good time—whatever that means to you.

“Approach dating with an open mind and with the intent of having fun,” says Gizzo.

Just look at her. She’s been sitting all by herself at the edge of the dance floor for five songs now, but no one seems to care. She must be so lonely, the poor thing, so left out. I really wish someone at this wedding would ask that girl in a wheelchair to dance, because this is killing me. Please. Somebody, anybody.

At first I thought she was happy just watching, but I don’t think that anymore. When the DJ played “Macarena,” she swiveled her chair a little and kind of scooted on her seat cushion. When he played “Unchained Melody,” she swayed her head back and forth, even closing her eyes a couple times. She’s also been staring longingly at the other couples while they slow dance, dreaming, I suppose, of what it must feel like. No, she definitely wants to get out there, but she doesn’t want to do it alone. And who could blame her?

Oh, man, she just looked around the room at the other people not dancing as if to say, “If you’re not dancing and you want to dance, I’m right here. Just ask.”

I can’t be the only one feeling this tension. There’s no way I’m the only one who’s noticed the wheelchair-bound 12-year-old in a red semiformal dress, and there’s no way I’m the only one looking at her this very second, wondering if someone’s going to be decent enough to walk up to her, offer his hand, and make the next three minutes the best of her life. Just a couple of twirls, a couple of arm-pumping motions, just enough to get through “Brown-Eyed Girl.” Really, it wouldn’t take much.

How come her Dad isn’t around? Isn’t there an uncle or a cousin who can jump in here? I know she didn’t come to this wedding by herself. Why are they letting this happen?

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Look, someone has to step up right now. I know it’ll be a little embarrassing, and dancing with someone in a wheelchair might be a bit awkward at first. But you’ll be the hero of this reception. Everyone watching you and the girl will wish they had your courage and your heart. And she’ll never forget you, either. She’ll never forget the song that was playing, and she’ll never forget how normal you made her feel.

No takers? Too much trouble? Okay, just leave her there. Leave her there and let that Grease megamix serve as a reminder of how she can never expect to do what other girls do because she’s just some cripple who’d better get used to watching life pass her by. That’s what we want, right?

Come on, someone do it already. She’s not going to stay there forever, and then you’ll just feel like garbage when she gives up and leaves. Just somebody ask her to dance, okay? She’s not going to say no. I mean, she could, but you know she won’t.

So it’s really going to end like this? Everyone thinking how poignant it is that this girl in a red dress is just fiddling with her hand brake during the “Lady In Red” slow dance when they could be doing something to help that’s easily within their power. Like I said, I know it’s a little embarrassing, but what kind of person can’t find it within himself to do the right thing here? What kind of person can’t suck up a moment of discomfort and give this girl the dance she deserves? What kind of person just stands there but doesn’t even have the common fucking decency to stop staring?

How to ask a girl to slow dance

The pure nostalgia of dancing to the tunes of classic old dance songs at weddings is like no other. The dance floor at weddings comes alive as classic old wedding songs are played.

Music and dance is an essential part of weddings. At wedding receptions different kinds of songs are played. However, you feel a distinct charm and nostalgia when you sway or dance with your partner to the tunes of oldies. Classic old dance songs are popular at wedding because they evoke beautiful memories and bring warmth through music and lyrics. Every couple wants their wedding to be a momentous occasion. Couples are very particular about the song playlist at their wedding.

A thoughtful selection of songs is essential for every dance session. A diverse mix of classic old dance songs works its magic wonderfully at weddings.

The first dance song leads the way for songs to follow at a wedding. Couples often pick a song that is lyrically appealing as their first dance song. The first dance song is usually a song the couple can relate to. The choice of first dance song is often a song that tells a gripping lyrical story. Songs that follow the first dance song are slow tempo love songs for couples to dance. Guests love to dance alongside the bridal couple when slow dance songs are playing. Classic old dance songs have a nostalgic vibe that blends perfectly with weddings. The lyrical nature of old songs brings excitement and fun that add to the splendor of weddings. Lyrics that are peppy and playful often hit the right chords with guests at a wedding.

Playing songs from the golden era of music makes weddings come alive in a sublime way. The old-fashioned way never does get outdated at weddings. You can intersperse a collection of oldies during different dance sessions. The slow dance session and the jive session have a number of couples displaying their dancing talent at weddings. A thoughtfully curated playlist of songs from the 40s, 50s 60s and 70s and 80s during different dance session works its magic beautifully at weddings. Couples that like to dance feel emotion and nostalgia in songs. Ideally wedding dance songs should a blend of music from different decades. However, it ultimately depends on the type of songs a couple wants the band or DJ to dish out on their wedding day.

The lines below showcase a diverse list of nostalgic wedding songs for different dance sessions.

100 Best Classic Old Dance Songs

  1. You Mean Everything To Me- Neil Sedaka
  2. Tennesse Waltz- Patti Page
  3. Sealed With A Kiss- Brian Hyland
  4. Put Your Head on My Shoulder- Paul Anka
  5. There’s A Kind of Hush- Herman’s Hermits
  6. Save The Last Dance for Me- The Drifters
  7. Love Is All Around- The Troggs
  8. Only You- Platters
  9. Stand By Me- Ben E King
  10. Can’t Help Falling In Love with You- Elvis Presley
  11. Chapel of Love- Dixie Cups
  12. Great Balls of Fire- Jerry Lee Lewis
  13. When A Man Loves a Woman- Percy Sledge
  14. Dream Love- Bobby Darin
  15. When I Need You- Leo Sayer
  16. Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head- BJ Thomas
  17. Good Golly Miss Molly- Little Richard
  18. Jailhouse Rock- Elvis Presley
  19. Maybellene- Chuck Berry
  20. Green Green Grass of Home- Tom Jones
  21. Unchained Melody- The Righteous Brothers
  22. Hit The Road Jack- Ray Charles
  23. A Groovy Kind of Love- The Mindbenders
  24. The Twist- Chubby Checker
  25. Have I Told You Lately- Van Morrison
  26. Sugar Sugar- The Archies
  27. Johnny B Goode- Chuck Berry
  28. The Power of Love- Jennifer Rush
  29. Daddy’s Little Girl- The Mills Brothers
  30. I Can’t Stop Loving You- Ray Charles
  31. Love is In The Air- John Paul Young
  32. My Girl- The Temptations
  33. Cherish- Kool & The Gang
  34. Walk Through This World with Me- George Jones
  35. Rock Around The Clock- Bill Haley & the Comets
  36. You Light Up My Life- Debby Boone
  37. I Love How You Love Me- The Paris Sisters
  38. You are My Destiny- Paul Anka
  39. Lean On Me- Bill Withers
  40. All I Have To Do Is Dream- The Everly Brothers
  41. Feelings- Albert Morris
  42. Endless Love- Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
  43. Through The Years- Kenny Rogers
  44. Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin On- Jerry Lee Lewis
  45. I Just Called To Say I Love you- Stevie Wonder
  46. Will You Love Me Tomorrow- Carole King
  47. Can’t Take My Eyes Off You- Farankie Valli
  48. Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You- George Benson
  49. Rainy Night In Georgia- Brook Benton
  50. Something- The Beatles
  51. Then Came You- Dionne Warwick and the Spinners
  52. Always- Atlantic Starr
  53. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body (Would You Hold it Against Me)- The Bellamy Brothers
  54. I Want To Know What Love Is- Foreigner
  55. Tonight I Celebrate My Love- Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack
  56. Best of Love- The Emotions
  57. Pledging My Love- Johnny Ace
  58. Living Doll- Cliff Richard
  59. How Deep Is your Love- Bee Gees
  60. Just The Way you Are- Billy Joel
  61. If- Bread
  62. You are So Beautiful- Joe Cocker
  63. My Love- Petula Clark
  64. You Make Loving Fun- Fleetwood Mac
  65. La Bamba- Ritchie Valens
  66. Truly- Lionel Richie
  67. Crazy- Patsy Cline
  68. You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me- Dusty Springfield
  69. The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra
  70. Let’s Stay Together- Al Green
  71. Just Tell Me You Love Me- England Dan & John Ford Coley
  72. Blue Suede Shoes- Carl Perkins
  73. Reach Out I’ll Be There- The Four Tops
  74. Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now- Starship
  75. Love You Inside Out- Bee Gees
  76. The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face- Roberta Flack
  77. In Your Eyes- Peter Gabriel
  78. Saving All My Love For You- Whitney Housten
  79. Here and Now- Luther Vandross
  80. Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
  81. Suddenly- Billy Ocean
  82. Close To You- Carpenters
  83. I Only Have Eyes for You- The Flamingos
  84. Lad In Red- Chris De Burgh
  85. With Or Without You- U2
  86. Lovin’ You- Minnie Ripperton
  87. Don’t Know Much- Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt
  88. My Girl- The Temptations
  89. Just the Two of Us- Bill Withers and Grover Washington Jr.
  90. At Last- Etta James
  91. What A Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong
  92. You Needed Me- Anne Murray
  93. I Will Always Love You- Dolly Parton
  94. You’re All I Need To Get By- Marvin Gaye
  95. Wild Horses- The Rolling Stones
  96. Up Where We Belong- Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
  97. Drive- The Cars
  98. I Saw Her Standing There- The Beatles
  99. Take My Breath Away- Berlin
  100. With You I’m Born Again- Billy Preston & Syreeta

There are a boundless number of troops stationed near where I dance, and while they all seem grateful when I come into work, none of them thanked me like my boss did last night.

The DJ told me he was going to hang himself in the DJ booth if I didn’t show up. I overslept and by 7:10, the men had started to worry that I wouldn’t show. Most employees would get reprimanded for showing up late. I got chocolate covered almonds that my manager pilfered from the DJ. Because if I don’t show, the club doesn’t make money. And that gives me a lot of freedom.

I am pretty good at my job, which is slightly harder than just looking good naked. To be fair, not much harder. But a good stripper has to do more than know how to take off her clothes. A good stripper is a comedian, a psychologist and an economist. To pick the best customers out of a crowd, she has to know where the money is flowing in the economy. I have thrilled pharmaceutical reps on business trips to Merck and Johnson & Johnson, consoled the brokers on Wall Street through the financial crisis who lined up in droves when the market hit bottom, provided sanctuary to accountants during tax season and yes, sent 18 year-olds, with enlistment bonuses in hand off to war. Every stripper knows that a “kid” aka a man under the age of 30, doesn’t have money. But our government does and they hand it out freely to boys who want to pick up a gun. Boys who believe it is their duty to defend my right to run around naked for money.

I remember the first soldier I ever gave a lap dance to. It was June 2008 and I had just started dancing at a full-nude strip club. Before that, I had worked at a go-go bar with a primarily Costa Rican clientele. In New Jersey, fully nude clubs are not allowed to serve alcohol. Because of that law, the age to enter a fully nude club is 18, not 21.

It was 1:30 on a Saturday night and I was tired. I had worked a 14 hour day and I was dreaming of a RU Mart tuna sub. I had ignored the soldier’s group all night, too busy with my “whales,” men from the lucrative local pharmaceutical industry. The kind of men who come from India, learn English from a medical dictionary and devote their lives to creating injectable tumor-busting cancer treatments and drugs for rare endocrine disorders. The kind of men who don’t mind spending $450 an hour to explain to a hardline capitalist with the-girl-next-door face why Barrack Obama would be a great president. I had no time for little boys, no time to ask why they were there.

I was getting ready to sneak out the door. But I stopped for a minute at the DJ booth to tip out Rob the DJ. It was the end of the night, so I was only wearing a thong, too lazy to put my bra on. A kid came up to me and asked me for a dance. He had light brown hair and a baby face. He was not much taller than me and looked younger than my over-grown little brother. He said he had been trying to get my attention all night. Yea, no matter how tired I am, that guilt trip always gets me.

I brought him in the back and started dancing for him, every few seconds surreptitiously glancing at the clock, willing it to move faster. After 1:00, that last hour of work, the clock always seems to slow down. Out of politeness, I asked if he wanted another. He said yes. Four minutes went by. Ok, maybe three. And I asked him for another. He said yes. And another. And another. As we danced, his friends came in and out with different girls. Even at 1:50, the lap dance area was filled with fresh faced kids who had waited all night for this dancer or that dancer. My girlfriend, a pretty blonde girl draped in tattoos, sat next to us with one of his friends. They came and went and still, my customer wanted more. Twenty eight minutes went by. I started to get nervous. Would this kid have the money to pay me?

Finally, Rob turned the lights on and turned the music down. A mindless house song played in the background. It was time to tell the kid that I had to go home. I asked him to come back the next time I worked and told him my schedule.

“It will probably be awhile.” He said. I asked why.

He told me he was going to Iraq in the next couple of days. A local army base was deploying a large group of troops to Iraq within the next few days. These kids wanted to see something they wouldn’t see for at least another year—good old American strippers. They probably wanted a beer too but in America 18 year-olds are allowed to kill, not drink. He told me that he figured he might as well spend most of his signing bonus before he went in case he didn’t come back.

In case, he didn’t come back. Those were his words. It was the first time I felt the finality of someone going off to a foreign country where they would be shot at and blown up. I will never forget it. He never came back to the club and I don’t know why.

Hopefully he grasped the foolishness of dumping all that money and vowed never to return. I hope he did.

These days, I don’t see many boys heading off to war. These days, I see more of them returning with stories of things they often tell no one else. Kids who come to hear my silly stories and forget, looking to fill their heads with the sight of breasts, instead of the things they did to protect our right to show them.

I’ll be writing about what these kids let slip and whisper in the dark when they finally have someone to listen.

There’s nothing I can say to help them at the time, but here and now, maybe I can let them know that they are not alone.

And they shouldn’t drop their signing bonuses in a strip joint.

Niall Horan Lyrics

We should take this back to my place
That’s what she said right to my face
‘Cause I want you bad, yeah, I want you, baby
I’ve been thinking ’bout it all day
And I hope you feel the same way, yeah
‘Cause I want you bad, yeah, I want you, baby

Slow, slow hands
Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
No, no chance
That I’m leaving here without you on me
I, I know, yeah, I already know that there ain’t no stopping
Your plans and those slow hands
Slow hands

I just wanna take my time
We could do this, baby, all night, yeah
‘Cause I want you bad
Yeah, I want you, baby

Slow, slow hands
Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
No, no chance
That I’m leaving here without you on me
I, I know, yeah, I already know that there ain’t no stopping
Your plans and those slow hands

Fingertips putting on a show
Got me now and I can’t say “No”
Wanna be with you all alone
Take me home, take me home
Fingertips putting on a show
Can’t you tell that I want you, baby, yeah

Slow hands
Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
No, no chance
That I’m leaving here without you on me
I, I know, yeah, I already know that there ain’t no stopping

Slow hands
Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry
No, no chance
That I’m leaving here without you on me
I, I know, yeah, I already know that there ain’t no stopping
Your plans and those slow hands

Author of Parenting With Presence (and Eckhart Tolle edition) and Parenting Without Power Struggles

How to ask a girl to slow dance

Dear Susan,

I have a 10-year-old son who is a sweet boy but frequently acts without thinking. This has gotten him into a lot of trouble at school and at home. He blurts things out inappropriately, takes things from classmates for a laugh, and runs off when we’re at the mall. We have tried telling him to act his age, and tried punishing him when he doesn’t, but nothing seems to help. What can we do?

Sick of Scolding

Dear Sick of Scolding,

There is a gap, or pause, between the moment a child feels an impulse to do something, and the moment he acts on that feeling. In a young child, the pause is so short that for all intents and purposes, he will act on whatever impulse he feels, disregarding issues of safety or propriety. This is why we keep a close eye on little children; we act as the inhibitory response that reins in their potential recklessness.

As children grow older, they improve at hitting “pause” before acting on an impulse, so they have time to decide whether something is — or isn’t — a good idea.

Children who have issues with impulsivity behave as though they are younger than they are, frustrating people around them who expect kids to act their age. Lectures, threats and punishments often aren’t effective because the pause between impulse and action isn’t significant enough for the youngster to consider whether he should or should not grab a classmate’s pencil or run off in the mall.

Here’s my advice:

  • Adjust your expectations. Your child is not going to mature more quickly simply because you wish he would.

Put him in charge of something. While you can’t accelerate his maturity, you can provide him with opportunities to take on ever-increasing levels of responsibility, whether it’s helping you carry in groceries, choosing where to plant the sunflowers, or deciding whether to add cinnamon to the cookies you’re making together. In other words, look for moments when your son gets to step into bigger shoes, and, as you put it, “act his age.”

Try martial arts classes. Some highly impulsive children benefit from this training. If his teacher is patient, you son may gain skills to slow down and better learn to manage his impulses.

Make sure he’s well-rested and nourished. A child who is hungry, tired or fueled by excessive sugar will almost certainly be less able to manage his behavior.

Give your son the chance to do something that makes him feel successful, whether it’s swimming, singing or jumping on the trampoline. Many impulsive children feel they’re constantly failing or disappointing others, which puts them in a state of stress that fuels their misbehavior.

Brainstorm what your son can do when he’s restless in class and likely to become disruptive (e.g. play with a squeeze ball, or rub his hands together to slow down his reactivity); help him get used to these activities through role play. Repeated practice at acting out alternative strategies often helps impulsive children stretch out that pause between wanting to do something and deciding it’s not a good idea.

As frustrating as it is to deal with your son’s mishaps, if you accept him as he is — rather than comparing him to what I call your ideal, “snapshot child” — you’ll be better able to teach him to manage his behavior. Every child develops at his own rate. Avoid shaming and blaming him; make sure your expectations align with reality; and you’ll help train your son to hit that “pause” button before acting on impulse.

Parent Coach, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and credentialed teacher. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is available on Amazon. Sign up to get Susan’s free parenting newsletter.

By Dina Colada — Written on Jan 30, 2021

How to ask a girl to slow dance

First dates are supposed to be a playful and fun way to get to know someone new. If you really want to get a guy or girl to like you, how can you learn more about them to make sure you’re interested?

Luckily, these first date questions will help you do just that.

There may be quiet or awkward times during your conversation, and that’s completely normal. Those moments give you an opportunity to look into each other’s eyes and smile. But when you’re not soul gazing, you can and should spend your time getting to know each other.

Preparing yourself by studying up on first date conversation starters will make flirting easier and far more effective. But be sure not to plow through these questions; give them a little time to simmer, and let your date ask a series of questions, too.

Whether it’s their favorite movie or TV shows, their biggest pet peeves, or what they have on their bucket list, a good first date includes learning about one another. Plus, asking these questions will (hopefully) keep them interested enough for a second date!

100 First Date Questions

Best First Date Questions

When you’re first getting to know someone, you don’t want to come out, guns blazing. Instead, these questions will help you break the ice without prodding too far into their personal life.

1. What are some of your favorite things to do when you have free time?

2. Where is your favorite place in the world?

3. Have you ever met anyone famous?

4. Do you have any siblings?

5. Do you have any pets?

6. Are you currently binge-watching any TV shows?

7. Do you know any other languages?

8. What makes you unique?

9. If you could hang out with anyone in the world for one day, alive or dead, who would you pick?

10. Who are the special people in your life?

Funny First Date Questions

If your date has a good sense of humor, they’ll find these questions hilarious and entertaining. These also serve as great ice breakers if the conversation has started to slow a little bit.

11. What is your most embarrassing moment?

12. What would your DJ name be?

13. What was the funniest injury you have ever had?

14. Have you ever sent a naughty text to the wrong person?

15. When was the last time you drunk texted someone?

16. What superpower would you want?

17. If someone raided your bedroom, would they be surprised by anything they find?

18. What is the weirdest fact you know?

19. What is the worst date you’ve been on?

20. What is the worst movie you’ve seen?

Flirty First Date Questions

Aside from flirting by lightly touching your date or looking into their eyes, these questions are great to ask if you’re really hitting it off!

21. Do you like to work out?

22. What is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone?

23. What is your best feature?

24. What do you think my best feature is?

25. If you could take me anywhere, where would we go?

26. Are you a romantic person?

27. What excites you?

28. Are you ticklish?

29. Have you ever gotten a massage?

Interesting First Date Questions

Once you’ve gotten past the superficial part of your date, where you get to know basic facts about each other, go a little deeper and get to know them on level, showing your interest.

31. Would you ever jump out of a plane?

32. Have you traveled much?

33. When are you the most productive?

34. What is one thing on your bucket list that you haven’t done yet?

35. Do you have a secret talent?

36. Who are your three favorite people?

37. How would you describe yourself?

38. What do you consider a fun night out?

40. What is your dream car and what color would it be?

41. If you won $10,000, what is the first thing you would buy?

42. What was one of the most exciting days of your life?

Questions to Ask a Guy on a First Date

Every man is different, so this will help you get more insight into his particular quirks and interests. Then, you can determine if you have anything in common.

43. What do you look for in a woman?

44. Who is your celebrity crush?

45. How did you meet your best friend?

46. What is your proudest accomplishment?

47. Who are your favorite sports teams?

48. Who is the kindest person you know?

49. What wrong assumptions do people make about you most often?

50. Are you into tech?

51. What skill have you always wanted to learn?

52. Who is your nemesis?

53. What three events made the biggest impact on who you are today?

Questions to Ask a Woman on a First Date

Skip the small talk and show her you’re interested in what she has to say. Plus, these leave plenty of room for follow-up questions, letting you into her personal life a little more.

54. What is your favorite comeback?

55. What do you wish people would stop asking you?

56. What do you look for in a man?

57. What is something about you that you think will surprise me?

58. What is something that always makes you smile?

59. Do you think guys should always make the first move?

60. What is the most expensive thing you ever bought?

61. How often do you see your friends?

62. What is your best friend like?

63. Do you sing in the car or shower?

64. What is in your pockets right now?

Deep First Date Questions

These questions are intellectually stimulating, and your date will have to do some thinking before answering. It’s a good indicator of whether or not they can be philosophical and look a little deeper into themselves?

65. What is your favorite childhood memory?

66. If you could work anywhere in the world, where would it be?

67. What is your deepest fear?

68. What do you appreciate more, physical touch or getting a gift?

69. What is your favorite quote?

70. What do you think you’ll be doing when you’re 85?

71. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done in life?

72. Who was your most significant role model?

73. Is there a smell that always reminds you of good memories?