Sam is dating coach, life coach, and style expert. His expertise has been featured on Lifehack.org, Apartment Therapy, Wisebread, Best Life Online, and Up Journey. He lives with his Australian Shepard, Max, in beaut .
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Cute ways to ask a girl out on a date with you? Looking for ways to stand out from the rest? Because most guys see asking a girl out as a task. And some have no idea how to ask a girl out.
If you approach it with minimal effort you’ll look as though you’re not interested enough and at the same time you don’t want to go over the top and seem desperate.
Couple that with feelings of fear of rejection, anxiety and shyness and you can see why guys might be deterred from asking a girl out.
Girls like effort, so putting some thought into the way you ask a girl out is important. Whether you’re asking her out on a first date or if you’ve been seeing each other for a bit and just want to make it official it’s always a good idea to make an effort when you ask her out.
She’ll acknowledge your effort, and the more creative and romantic the effort, the better!
I saw her walk into the office with a smile, her heels clicking behind her to signify her arrival. She looked at me, smiled, and disappeared into the elevator. My heart skips a beat whenever I see my Jennie. I remember how I’d ask myself how to ask someone out and even ran behind friends to know how to ask your crush out . With a few tips, I got the woman of my dreams.
# How to ask a girl out: Before you ask for a date
1. Plan out an intro:
Before you make a move, you’ve got to plan things out. Come up with a few conversation starters. They can be about current affairs or even joking about your boss’ hand movements.
2. Wait for the right moment:
Make sure she’s alone and free when you approach her. If you pick a time when she’s talking to someone else or busy in an activity, you could be ignored.
3. Approach your crush confidently:
# How to ask a girl out: Tips to help you succeed
1. Mindsets before you ask a girl out:
- Remember to be earnest instead of desperate.
- Don’t get ahead of yourself. Remember your limits.
- Don’t over-analyze everything. This will make you sound confused.
2. Use texts to ask a girl out:
Once you get her number, you’ve got a great chance. Here’s how to ask a girl out over text:
Get your flirt on!
Girls love it when a man can be flirty over text. If you think it’s risky or you’re too scared, stop that at once- I assure you that she’ll adore it. It makes her feel appreciated, beautiful, and wanted; that’s precisely how you should make a girl feel. Jennie said she would giggle every time I flirted on text.
Keep it casual:
Casual conversations are the way to go. Don’t scare her off with a story that’s too deep. Talk about her likes ad dislikes or tell her a funny story. Make yourself feel approachable and someone she enjoys talking to. Jennie told me that talking to me became her favorite part of the day, and she’d anxiously wait for my texts.
If your crush isn’t into talking about personal things or wants to talk about something specific, go along with it. Know how to react to whatever she’s feeling. The second your crush feels uncomfortable; she’ll start backing off and talk less. Please don’t make the mistakes I did, and take my advice. I almost lost Jennie by not paying attention to the little things and reacting the way she expected.
Don’t reveal too much:
Believe me when I say that women adore mysterious men. This is important to answer your question about how to ask a girl out over text. It makes them want to know more and understand who you are. Accomplishing this is simple. All you need to do is not reveal too much about yourself. Don’t shut off completely; leave an element of mystery occasionally so you’ll always have something to talk about. The less you reveal, the more they gravitate towards you. Remember to tell things slowly to keep her interested, and so you always have something to talk about.
3. Use cute ways to ask a girl out:
Want to know how I asked Jenni out? It was literally straight out of a romantic comedy. I was outside her house with her favorite song blaring as I held up a sign that said “Will you go out with me?” in big letters. She ran down and hugged me. Here are a few cute ways to ask a girl out
Write a love note but make it funny:
Girls love cute surprises. One of the best things to do to ask your crush out is to write her a cute note. Brownie points for making it funny! Maybe a message with an inside joke or a play with words. Get creative and be original, and you’re sure to get the girl.
Make a crossword puzzle:
Does your crush love puzzles? Do you often see her at work solving the crossword puzzle in the newspaper? Then design a crossword puzzle for her! Be creative and get her to create the sentence “Will you go out with me?” or anything else to get the message across. It is a cute and different idea that will definitely make her yours.
A cheesy pick-up line – but funny:
Go on and look up cheesy pick-up lines right now. The internet is full of cheesy and weird ones. If your crush thinks you’re funny, pick a cheesy pick-up line from the internet or make up your own and use that to ask your crush out . Make sure the pick-up line is funny!
Sing her a song:
Women think music is romantic, and being sung to will make them fall for you. If you can sing, bring out that guitar and get ready to ask her out with her favorite love song. It’ll be even better if you can manage to write your own.
Use emojis or gifs:
Do you often use emojis and gifs with your crush? Then that’s precisely what you’ll use when you ask her out. Make it a little cryptic by using the only emojis to get your point across, or send a simple gif of that TV show she loves.
Meet/Eat/Love (MEL) #7
In this day and age of online dating, getting asked out (or asking a girl out) via a text message is quite the norm.
We’ve talked about how to set-up a killer profile (MEL #3) and first date ideas (MEL #5.) This post will focus on how to ask a girl out… from a female’s POV.
Let’s first tackle the How to Ask a Girl Out DON’TS:
1) DON’T send a dick pic.
Yes, I’ve mentioned this one before in MEL #3 and I will repeat it again. For starters, it’s really as simple as this. Sending girls dick pics will NOT increase your chances of a date… let alone getting laid.
Take this as a
public service announcement
to stop while you’re ahead!
2) DON’T ask her if she’s up or at home.
Oh, the infamous Hey, you up? Hey, you at home? These are booty calls, especially when these types of messages start coming in past midnight. If you really wanted to ask her out, do it when you’re not wasted and looking to just get laid.
3) DON’T be a creep.
Sure, we all do a bit of cyberstalking, but you don’t have to let her know. Trust me, this is one of the times when you can keep your cyberstalking skills to just you and your friends.
“Hey, LinkedIn tells me where you work and Facebook tells me when your b-day is and your check-in tells me that you went to my favourite bar last weekend.”
Yeah, a big N.O. to being a Mr. Creep-o.
So, what’s a guy gotta do to ask a girl out? If you find yourself in dire need of some inspiration, have a look at some real life examples taken from my fav. personal encounters (sprinkled with some commentary, of course.) 🙂
Here are the How to Ask a Girl Out DO’S :
1) Be Direct.
This does work. Being direct vs. spending endless days chatting online. Why not just bite the bullet and meet each other for goodness sake?
Text to send to ask a girl out: “Would you be partial to a drink tonight?”
I’ve actually said yes to this,
time is of the essence.
2) Share a talent/hobby.
For example, you enjoy cooking and she loves eating (great combo, right?)
Text to send to ask a girl out: “I’m a good chef. Do you want to come round for dinner? I’ll cook for you.”
(Um, he had me at “I will cook for you.” When a guy actually puts effort and thought into the date, that’s hot.)
Suggesting coffee is a neutral, low commitment first date option. Even if you don’t drink coffee, you can always get tea, soda or hot chocolate.
Text to send to ask a girl out: “We’ve been chatting for a while, wanna meet in real life over coffee?”
CLiKD makes it so much more easier to find talents, hobbies and interests you share in common, with our dealbreaker tests!
3) Ask out a Foodie.
Yes, another food related date, because people have to eat at some point in the day!
Text to send to ask a girl out: “Wanna do a taste test of the best pizza slices in this city?”
(How cool is it to find a fellow foodie who would enjoy going on a pizza taste test as much as you?!)
4) For the athletic.
When you love keeping fit and want to find someone who enjoys it as much as you do.
Text to send to ask a girl out: “Let’s go for a run together.”
(No joke, a hot Cypriot firefighter once asked this and I was still recovering from a sprained ankle… terrible timing!)
5) For the introverts.
When having a conversation might be hard, why not use a board game to help relieve the jitters and have fun?
Text to send to ask a girl out: “Up for a game of Scrabble?”
(This is not the same as Netflix and chill, ok? Scrabble is a competitive game where you can’t just chill!)
6) For the explorers.
When you’re always up for checking out new things.
Text to send to ask a girl out: “I’d love to give you a walking tour of , would you let me show you my fav. places?”
C’mon, having someone
show you his ‘hood’?
7) For the culture buffs.
Museums. What’s not to love about checking out a new exhibition in one helluva atmosphere?
Text to send to ask a girl out: “There’s a cool new exhibit at , would you like to join me?”
8) If a Girl is a Music Nerd.
Who can say no to good music and, hopefully, good company?
Text to send to ask a girl out: “ is playing this weekend and I have an extra ticket, wanna be my date?”
9) Multiple choice.
When you have multiple interests and, also, depending on how much time you have to invest. Coffee/drinks are short and sweet; some of the other ones require more time investment.
Text to send to ask a girl out: “Would you like to grab a drink or dinner?”
We ARE living in 2017, so on the flip side, don’t be shy to ask a guy out. Feel free to use one of the 10 inspirations above. 🙂
Best Dating Blog for you
By Datings App
Let’s be honest for a second, right now! Asking a girl out could be a really tough situation you can land yourself in. No matter how long you have been talking to each other, but when it comes to asking her out for a date or for any other reason, you can get conscious as hell. After checking out hundreds of questions on how to ask a girl out, we have finally decided to write this blog for you all. In this blog, we are going to talk about how to ask out a girl.
How to ask a girl out for date
So, before beginning this blog, let’s tell you that this blog is going to be divided into two categories. The first one will talk about how to ask a girl out for a date when you have known her for a long time – say a classmate or a neighbourhood friend.
The second part of how to ask a girl out for a date will be when you have not spent much time with her.
So, without further ado, let’s get started.
How to ask a girl out if you’ve known her for 2 years or more
Let’s suppose you have known each other for a great period of time. This can be understood if your bond falls into any of these categories:
- You both have been in regular touch with each other
- You’re classmates
- You both stay in the same society
- Travelling together on most days
- Texting each other everyday
So, if these points describe your bond well, then this is the section for you. Check out how to ask a girl out on a date if you have known her for 2 years or more. And once you know the art of asking out someone you’ve known for more than 2 years, then you won’t need to know how to get laid.
If you both share a good bond with each other, share jokes on a regular basis, have healthy discussions on trending topics, and are comfortable talking about taboos and other such things, then asking her out for a date can be a little easy for both of you. So, basically it all starts with how to approach a girl.
Look, we understand that it’s easier said than it’s done. And we completely understand this. Because you both have been talking to each other in a certain way. But now when it’s about asking a girl out for a date when you have known her for more than 2 years, you wouldn’t want to risk it. We get it. And it’s valid. But, at the same point of time, you need to understand that it’s your plus point as well.
Most of the guys fail to ask a girl out for date, simply because they don’t want to ruin what’s already established between you both. But, you need to first understand that asking someone for a date is quite easier in your situation. And the chances are, you might succeed.
How to ask out a girl if you’re scared
You can do the following if you are scared and don’t how to attract a girl or simply talk to her.
Don’t just go out there and ask her out. It might sound romantic in movies, but let’s be real. You can end up getting rejected for no reason at all.
So, while you both are talking, introducing a familiar topic where someone proposed someone or asked someone out. Or if a celeb had married someone or asked some other celeb, then you can introduce that topic.
Now comes the other part. Try and talk as much seriously as you can and leave a hint as to why asking him or her out was a good decision in your view. Have a healthy discussion and end it over there as the situation allows.
Also, you must keep in mind that you should not force your views on her. Take a stand, but make sure you don’t disagree or agree on anything. Now, when the time and situation allows, take a stand someday.
How to ask a girl out if you have known her for a year or less
Now, in this case, let’s say you have known the other individual for less than a year. May be, you both have just joined a new school, class, college, or an office. So, how to ask a girl out by sending a text?
So basically, all you have to do is, initiate by setting up a scene. You don’t really have to lie. But make sure that your surroundings support you. So much so, that you are the controller of the emotions and the situations (of your talks).
First, you have to make sure that she is free. She should absolutely reply to you without getting disturbed by anything. Now, start talking about anything. Then move straight to the point. As you both don’t really know each other much. Or maybe you both are getting acquainted to each other. So what you can do is, make sure you talk to her straight away about the thing and ensure that you make it clear to her.
You can say something like, “I had been thinking about this for quite some time…”
So, this is how you can ask a girl out without having to make it sound desperate and cheesy. If you want to stay updated with our latest blogs, follow us on Instagram – Datings App.
By Datings App
After helping countless people through our various social media platforms, we have finally created this website to give you enormous amounts of information. Read our highly curated and quality content on Dating & Relationships. Enhance your life with our Dating Experts on DatingsApp.
Maybe you’ve got a girl’s number from Tinder?
. Maybe from somewhere else.
And you’re wondering how to ask her out over text?
Well, today’s your lucky day…
I’m about to show you exactly how to do it.
With real examples and screenshots
And a weird (but powerful) method you can duplicate
Want results like this? Let’s get into it!
*Hint it’s not a line. But a 3-step method for creating endless lines.
What Tinder Girls And Vegans Have In Common
Before I unveil my insanely effective magic method.
That will allow you to ask out any girl over text
. In an attractive way that conveys confidence
It needs a little back story.
(Trust me, it’s worth it).
Don’t Text Like A Pushy Vegan
It started when I went to have a BBQ.
At this joint called Swig & Swine in South Carolina.
You’ll recognize it by the butchered pig out-front.
. And their signage advertising “horrifying vegetarians since 2013!”
Personally, I rarely eat meat.
Only when I’m traveling.
But there I was with a plate of Burnt Ends, Smoked Turkey, and more.
And in comes a young guy to order take out.
We’ll call him Bill.
We got to talking and told him I was visiting from out of state.
And he told me that Charleston has “the best-fried chicken you’ll ever damn have!”
He paused, sighed, and added “but I’m trying to cut down on the stuff.”
“See, my father just passed from heart disease.”
“And my uncle. And grandfather. And Grandmother.”
“All young too. I’m only 25 myself, already have symptoms.”
He gave a long stare at his beer and continued.
“I’ve got a 2-year-old now, and another one coming.”
“I’d love to live long enough to see them grow up.”
“Maybe see their kids, too.”
But Bill shrugged.
Seemingly thinking that wasn’t likely to happen.
And I knew it too.
The Pushy Vegan
Let’s assume that a Vegan walked into the restaurant.
And they started to scold us for eating this greasy slop.
They BERATE us for eating meat. (It’s unethical.)
They INSIST that meat isn’t sustainable.
They LECTURE us that it’s destroying the environment.
They THROW BLOOD on us saying there are alternatives that taste just as good.
All of which is… pretty much true. But.
(Wait a minute, where do Vegans even get the blood from?!)
How Would You React?
Probably by getting pissed and putting up a sign out front saying “Horrifying Vegetarians”?
Or by eating 3 steaks for everyone 1 the Vegan doesn’t eat?
I mentioned, “You know, I read a few studies directly linking meat to cardiovascular disease.”
He raised his brow and laughed while shaking his head.
“I could never do that, I love fried chicken too much.”
I smiled and shrugged, “True, but, I bet you love your kids more.”
It took a second before the thought soaked into him and he remained silent for a long time.
A few minutes later his carry out arrived.
(What else but fried chicken?)
And he left with it, giving me a little toast with his glass.
Now, I’ll never know what happened to him.
If he tossed that chicken down the trash shoot or not.
But I’m willing to bet he’ll eat one less plate of fried chicken in his life after meeting me.
And had he met a “Vegan” he would’ve eaten three more.
What this has to do with Texting
Ready for the big reveal?
Let’s let Benny Franklin do the honors.
“If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.”
Ok, so how does this relate to asking a girl out on text?
Because most guys mess up by:
Trying to be way too “logical”
Trying to “explain” why she should go out with you
Even getting upset when she doesn’t respond well!
. Instead of actually putting themselves in her shoes.
And just like the pushy Vegan… You’re doomed to fail using this approach!
People are emotional beings.
So instead you need to learn.
What would make the date appealing to HER
How to make a date with you something she WANTS to do
How to uncover and overcome the objections she may have
And how to playfully “seed” the date before you ask.
So let’s look at EXACTLY how to do that…
1 – How To Plant The Seed
What if you could read a girl’s mind?
. So you know how to ask her out in a way that excites her.
Well ‘seeding the date’ allows you to do that.
WTF is seeding the date you ask?
It’s when you make…
Or hypothetical suggestion
Of the two of you hanging out.
Early on… before you actually ask her out!
Doing this achieves 2 powerful things:
It allows you to read her interest level (with ZERO chance of rejection.
After all, you didn’t actually ask. so how can she say ‘no’?
It puts the idea in her head of the 2 of you hanging out.
And uncovers any objections she might have.
Let’s look at an example…
You’ll see in the above example we learned 2 things:
She seems pretty keen to hang out
But she has plans this coming weekend
And we learned this with ZERO chance of rejection.
Other things you could say include…
“Thoughts on sunshine and rooftops?”
“I’m bored. We should go drink ridiculously expensive Champagne and set off illegal fireworks until sunrise. Plans this weekend?”.
The idea is playfully suggesting something the 2 of you could do… without actually asking her out.
This gives you a feel for who she is and what she’s interested in.
So when you DO ask her out… she’s likely to say “hell yes!”.
Again… we’re not being the pushy Vegan.
We’re figuring out what matters to HER.
2 – How To Build Rapport Through Mirroring
Should you use emojis?
How long should you wait to reply to her?
A lot of guys get hung up on these sorts of questions.
And it can lead them to kill the vibe before they ask a girl out.
Resulting in her saying something like…
“Umm, pretty sure I’m busy that day, sorry :(”
It turns out there’s a simple answer to all of these questions!
A guy can be successful, nice, even funny, and still manage to strike out with girls all the time. It’s frustrating and demoralizing when you don’t know what you’re doing wrong. The rejection is so discouraging that some guys just stop asking girls out. Many figure they’ll have to wait for a girl to initiate interest in them. Others opt to make friends with women at first and hope they’ll find the spark and the courage later. This, however, can be a recipe for disaster.
Experts agree: A guy needs to take initiative. Even in this modern, enlightened society, which tells empowered women that they can turn the tables and ask men out, a guy shouldn’t wait for this to happen.
We’ve surveyed the advice of several dating experts about how a guy can improve his chances and get over the paralyzing fear of rejection. The key is to change your approach and your attitude. If your batting average for asking girls out is very low, you can likely improve your technique. And if you don’t even have enough at-bats to constitute an average, well, it’s time to try. And it’ll be easier to muster the courage with the expert advice we’ve gathered.
Changing your technique doesn’t necessarily mean changing who you are. Shy guys don’t have to transform into slick, deceptive womanizers in order to land dates. Obviously, the ultimate goal is to find a girl who likes you for who you are. But that will mean learning how to impress her by showing the best side of yourself.
You can also improve your odds by recognizing and focusing on the girls who would be open to you. It’s a subtle but effective game of reading signals and body language.
We’ll explain these and other tips later in the article. First, however, let’s explore the importance of thinking outside the box and non-traditional methods of asking girls out.
Creative Ways to Ask a Girl Out
In the movie “Hitch,” the date doctor played by Will Smith sends a messenger with two packages to a woman’s office. The first package includes a walkie-talkie that he playfully talks to her through. He enigmatically asks to meet her early Sunday morning at the marina, and then the messenger presents the second package containing a wet suit in her size. When she arrives Sunday morning, he takes her Jet Skiing.
If you’re the skeptical type, you may think it unrealistic that such a Hollywood-manufactured tactic would sweep a girl off her feet rather than simply annoy her. What if she hates Jet Skis? Though such unorthodox methods can be risky, it can pay off to get creative and stand out from the rest of the guys — especially for women who are accustomed to a lot of attention.
To get creative, try to think of ways to pleasantly surprise her. It could be something as simple as leaving chocolates with a flirtatious note for her. Or it could be as convoluted as making a scavenger hunt game with clues and prizes. While you may not have the money to hire a plane to write a message for her in the sky or a mariachi band to play outside her window, the point is that you think outside the box.
One way to brainstorm is to think about things you know she likes — and ideally things you have in common. Is she a sucker for country music? Get two tickets to a concert and send one to her, offering to pick her up. Is she an intellectual and lover of Shakespeare? Write a note in iambic pentameter asking to take her to a performance.
If the girl is at all open to you, she might be flattered with a creative and personalized surprise. It tells her that you pay attention and care about her interests.
However, be forewarned that you should read her personality beforehand to see if she’s the kind of girl who would be impressed by such creativity. Take note that expert Patti Novak leans on the side of caution and says guys should generally shy away from creativity when first asking a girl out.
But if you’ve tried other methods and think this will be the only thing to get through to her, it might be worth a try. What have you got to lose?
You should show the best side of yourself when first getting to know someone. If you’re shy, try to think of unique, cool things about yourself to show off a little [source: Dutter]. The experts say that you should hold off on spilling all of your drama and baggage until at least a few dates have gone by.
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Every guy’s beaten himself up over how to ask out a girl he likes.
She’s there, she looks great, you want to ask her out. so bad. but you just can’t form the words. Or maybe even approach her in the first place.
Making the ask, as hard as it seems now, is, in fact, remarkably easy to do once you have a few simple tools to do it.
However, you can spend endless amounts of time stressed out over it when you don’t.
So let’s give you some AWESOME tips to making asking girls out SIMPLE.
Before we get to tips, a quick story.
When I was 14 years old, I asked a girl out for the first time.
I walked up to her in front of the whole school (her name was Sarah), and flat out asked her to go to the school dance at the end of the year with me.
She was the prettiest, most popular girl in school (not to mention head cheerleader), and she’d flirted with me and chased me hard for a year.
In fact, she’d asked me out about 6 months earlier (but I was too scared to say “yes”)!
Yet by the time I finally asked her out, she’d given up on me — the window had passed, and so had my shot with Sarah.
At the time I didn’t know you only had a certain window of time to ask a girl out in. though I guessed something like that might be the case.
I soon found out it definitely was.
As you could’ve guess, Sarah said “no” to me, albeit in a very gracious way.
She told me she wanted “to be friends first”, which I knew meant we weren’t going to the dance together.
I never got a date with Sarah.
However, in the many years after, I eventually asked hundreds of girls out on dates. Some said no. but many more said yes.
And along the way, I’ve learned a thing or two about how to ask a girl out and get that “yes.”
I’ve planned to write on how to ask girls out for a while now. However, a reader just wrote in asking about asking girls out specifically — so, it’s time to cover it. Our reader says:
“Man chase I really have been in a funk lately. I’m back in school and I feel like a social retard now lol! I need some advice, I really need help with asking girls out on dates and what that actually looks like you know? I’m reading your articles and a lot of it is making sense but closing the deal and getting dates is weird for me. I guess I really haven’t actually asked a girl out on a proper date before my last GF I got with because I was able to escalate things with her fast.”
To answer our reader’s question, I’ve put together this guide to asking women out.
This guide will teach you — emphatically, unequivocally, and without fluff, huff, or pomp of any kind — how to ask a girl out. and always (or almost always, anyway!) get a “yes.”
These days texting has become essential to dating. Yet most guys still struggle with what to text women.
They either send boring texts like “Hey what’s up?” or they try way too hard to sound witty. If you fit into any of those categories, then stop right now!
What you send a girl does not matter as much as you may think it does.
The biggest thing that determines if a girl will respond to you is her initial impression of you when she gave you her phone number.
If you are just the ?random guy? who awkwardly approached her and asked for her number…
Then she likely won?t respond no matter how amazing your text is.
On the other hand, if you and her had amazing chemistry when you met, then she?ll probably be excited to get a text from you, and be more likely to respond.
The other thing that might stop her from responding is the fact that her phone is already getting blown up by a bunch of other dudes.
Here?s what I mean? Not too long ago I was hanging out with a friend of mine named Rebecca.
Now Rebecca knows that I?m a dating coach, and tends to take advantage of my advice when she can.
So on this particular occasion, she wanted my opinion on a few texts that a guy had sent her.
So she handed her phone to me, I glanced down at the screen, and something immediately got my attention? The number ?22? in the upper left hand corner of her iPhone screen (implying that she had 22 unread text messages). I immediately blurted out…
?Yo Rebecca, how do you have 22 unread texts.
Then she nonchalantly replied, ?Oh? Those are just other guys who are texting me.?
That is right, my friend. She had TWENTY-TWO other guys who were already texting her at the same exact time.
Now don?t get me wrong, Rebecca is cute, but she isn?t a Playboy model by any means. She?s one of those girls who has a girl-next-door charm to her.
And if Rebecca, the standard girl-next-door type, has 22 guys blowing up her phone at any given moment, how easy do you think it would be for her to ignore one of your texts?? Answer: You hardly stand a chance if you send the same, boring nonsense that most guys text women these days. So what is the solution?
Three words? Do the opposite.
I don?t mean ?send? the opposite types of texts. What I mean is that you shouldn’t even text her in the first place!
If I know that texting her immediately makes me like twenty-two other guys, then I?m going to do anything other than send her a text message.
At the time of writing this book, social media has because the absolute best alternative to texting ? in particular Snapchat and Instagram. Why is this?
Girls tend to mentally categorize men in their brains. They do this based on her impression of you (i.e. nerdy guy, bad boy, athletic guy). And just like they categorize they type of guy you are, they also categorize the types of communication you always use with her (i.e. the guy who she texts, the guy who always calls, the guy who she FaceTime?s, the guy who she messages on social media).
What I?ve discovered is that Text messaging is a red ocean, full of competition, and is a completely different ball game than direct messaging on an app like Snapchat or Instagram…
Simply because guys rarely message her on social media.
If you were to TEXT a girl ?Hey, what?s up?? then she would immediately categorize you as one of the many guys who texts her boring messages. Ignoring a boring text message is way easier for her than thinking of a way to respond.
But if you were to direct message her ?Hey, what?s up?? on an app like SnapChat, this is a completely different story?
First off, she won?t categorize you as one of the many guys TEXTING her because social media is a completely separate folder in her mind.
Rather than being one of the many guys texting her, you are one of the only guys direct messaging her on Snapchat.
Secondly, your message on social media also comes with your profile attached to it…
Rather than being just a random phone number, you are the guy who goes hiking every Saturday, loves sushi, and owns a golden retriever. See what I mean?
You are a character who?s life she keeps up with on a regular basis already…
…due to your profile stories and posts.
Lastly, because messaging on social media is so new to today?s dating world, there?s far less competition there ? making her more likely to respond. Especially if your message to her is in response to something she posted that day.
Admit it, you probably feel good when someone likes one of your posts on social media.
Girls are the same way, which is why she?ll almost always respond if your first message is in response to her post. Here is what a typical conversation might look like when asking a girl out over Snapchat?
**She uploads a picture of her eating sushi**
ME: How did you know I love sushi?
HER: OMG! What?s your favorite sushi roll?
ME: Sounds like a good convo to have over a drink or seven
HER: mmm ok what did you have in mind?
ME: Meet me at (insert place) at 9? But only if you promise to bring
your A game
HER: Lol, ok!
First off, notice that your first message was relevant to something she did that day.
Emotionally relevant messages will always garner a better response than ?Hey, what?s up?? Secondly, notice how she was very open and receptive to conversation. You are not messaging her a paragraph. Your messages are only 5-7 words long.
Shorter messages get your point across, and are way easier to respond to. Lastly, she feels more obligated to respond on social media because you can see if she has ?read? your message yet.
These days, 90% of the time I ask a girl to hang out, it happens over Snapchat or Instagram. Especially if this is a first or second date.
You would be wise to do the same.
The best part is that your messages don?t even have to be witty or clever to stand out ? a direct result of simply having less dudes to compete with.
Notice how the conversation above was very basic. Nothing too clever or out of the ordinary. The messages were emotionally relevant to her post, and had a somewhat playful undertone. I didn?t carry the conversation on for very long, and asked her to hang out in a very direct way.
Also notice that this could have very well been a conversation via text, but because I was simply responding to one of her pictures, the conversation was more engaging, and much easier for her to respond to.
One last thing you should note is that if a girl is a terrible texter, often times she is really good at responding via social media ? and vice-versa?
P.S. Just in case you’re one of those guys who skims to the bottom (like me)…
Moral of the story: Snapchat messaging > Text Messaging…
BECAUSE women are more likely to respond, making it easier for her to agree to hanging out in-person.