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How to approach your crush

This article was co-authored by Jessica Engle, MFT, MA. Jessica Engle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She founded Bay Area Dating Coach in 2009, after receiving her Master’s in Counseling Psychology. Jessica is also a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Registered Drama Therapist with over 10 years of experience.

There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 933,025 times.

Having a crush on someone is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. If you’ve got it bad for someone, first let yourself feel all the feelings. Then, if you don’t want them to know you have a crush, try to act normal around them. Otherwise, turn your flirt on and make the first move. Fingers crossed they’re crushing on you, too! But if they aren’t, pick yourself up and remember that there are plenty of other crushes in your future.

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

Having trouble acting normal? Jessica Engle, director of Bay Area Dating Coach, says, “Some people aren’t able to be themselves around a crush because they’ve had experiences where they weren’t accepted, or they have low self-esteem or they’re afraid of losing the relationship. In some cases, it can even be about the other person and whether or not they make you feel safe. It’s really important to try to pull that apart. If you realize it’s more about your own internal process, use things like mindfulness and breathing to bring yourself back to the present moment.”

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

Tip: Keep your list somewhere private and hidden. If it’s on a piece of paper, lock it in a diary or hide it in a drawer. If it’s on your phone, use a password to lock it.

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

How to approach your crush

How to Choose a Date Activity

If you’re both athletic, invite them on a run after school, or get tickets to a sporting event.

If you’re nervous about having to make conversation, go see a movie. You won’t have the pressure of filling awkward silences.

If you want to get to know them, ask them to dinner or coffee, where you’ll have a chance to talk to each other one-on-one.

If you like a little competition, do something like bowling, laser tag, or mini golf.

Let’s be honest about this. We all have found ourselves time and again trying to approach a person whom we saw someplace but never had the slightest clue how to go about it. Just the thought of initiating a conversation feels like being nominated for the “ice-bucket challenge” on a social platform. Your heart begins to beat rapidly, palms begin to sweat and your tongue feels all rolled up inside your stomach. Been there, done that.

How to approach your crush

Now, I am not going to make it sound more difficult than you assume it to be. Yes, talking to your crush/stranger can be really hard. But again, if you do it right, you can start looking forward to that first date.

1.Breathe.

Our fear of rejection is our worst enemy. The fact being, if you approach someone, he or she won’t start screaming or run with their hands up in the air. Neither will they make fun of you or turn into a mythical beast unleashed from hell. If this is the case with you, take a chill pill and relax because you’ve got it all wrong. Just like animals can smell fear, one can make out whether the other person is confident or not. Your fear would leave a very sour first impression. Making the first move is one of the ways one can come across as confident.

How to approach your crush

2. Pep Talk

Back in school, my football coach used to say this one thing all the time, “The best offence is a good defense”. So, practice and try visualizing the actual conversation. It’s better to be prepared than to be all dumbstruck when you ask your crush for their e-mail or their phone number. Try visualizing what she might say or objections she might have. This would help you rev up your game.

3. Don’t enter the “Friend zone”

I can’t lay enough stress on this. Get out of your comfort zone. If you act all shy and innocent, they’ll automatically “Friend Zone” you. Approach your crush with confidence, and never try to conceal the fact that you are approaching him/her for a date.

4. Test Match. Not a T-20

This is the most important part. Most people blow off whatever chance they have by galloping into things. Remember, it’s a test match not a 20-20. Wait for your second innings. Don’t go on asking questions like “Do you have a boyfriend?” From my perspective, don’t even ask them out on a date.

99 out of 100 times people ignore the Golden Rule. The longer you talk to your crush, the chances of you blowing it off increase. Keep the first conversation short. You should focus on making them curious about you and not come across as a sad puppy looking for a new home.

5. Don’t Overdo It

There is a thin line between coming across as flirty or creepy. Don’t go throwing yourself at you crush. You should be able to distinguish between having a crush on someone and being obsessed with them. Avoid leaving an impression that makes the other one feel as if you are clinging onto them. We don’t want them thinking that you are ready to eat away from the palm of their hand.

6. THE JUDGEMENT DAY

So, you followed all of the above. You feel confident and even spent a few extra minutes in the shower. But, what things one must keep in mind while having the actual conversation? Don’t you worry, here’s a list of things that’ll help you to sail smoothly through that first conversation.

  • Maintain eye contact. Your eyes are the window to your soul. Look them in the eye when you talk to them and maintain a smile at all times. But remember it is impolite stare.
  • Dress up. You don’t have to imitate James bond or Halle Berry for that matter, but you do need to follow some basic principles of grooming yourself. Look like a person who has his/her act together
  • Check their body language. Now there’s no particular way to do this but there are certain signs which can tell you whether the person is interested in you or not. If not, Respect their privacy. Otherwise you’ll end up finding a restraining order in your mail.
  • Be respectful. This is a must if you plan to approach someone in public or otherwise.
  • No matter what the outcome, put yourself in a position where you don’t care whether your crush likes you back or not. This’ll help you deal with rejection which you might have to face.

Now that you know all the golden rules, put that confident face on and Go Get Them Tiger! Hope this Friendship Day turn out to be the most promising one for you!

How to Approach a Crush

Crushes are for everyone and have no age limit. You are never too old to develop a crush on someone and whether you are in high school crushing on someone or a full grown adult, the feelings are always the same.

This is usually how the whole scenario plays out: You meet someone you find extremely attractive- only this is not the usual “Oh my gosh, he’s (or she) so hot” thing where you acknowledge their hotness and then move on. No, this is more. Suddenly, you catch yourself thinking about this person constantly, having a hard time focusing on work and your day to day routines. You lose your appetite, have constant butterflies in your chest and stomach , listen to corny love songs and well- actually feel kind of ill, but in the most wonderful way! If this sounds familiar and you can relate, then congratulations- you have a crush on someone!

How to approach your crush

Crushes bring so much joy into our lives. They make us feel young, alive and take our minds to the most amazing, magical places. At the same time, crushes can also be very distracting and scary. Most crushes are discreet, a sacred experience we go through alone, wondering if this person feels the same way or even knows you are alive. You want so much to get closer to him or her, but are terrified of the possible outcome (rejection hurts, after all). So, how should you approach a crush?

It can be nerve-racking, but it is important that you deal with your feelings and approach your crush. It’ll bring you relief and of course you will also have the opportunity to find out how he or she feels. What’s the worst thing that can happen? At the very worst, he or she will not feel mutually, you will go from having a crush to feeling crushed, but you will move on (even if you think you won’t). At the very best, you will find out he or feels the same and has been too afraid to approach you too! Believe it or not, it’s worse not approaching your crush, because you will forever be wondering, torturing yourself day in and day out with daydreams and playing things out in your head, when you could just gather some courage and just go for it!

Okay n00bs, I shall do my best in explaining all the wisdom I have learned from all the guys I approached. Yes, I’m a pc/video gamer but not only do I have mad skillz in gaming (unless it’s certain ones 😛). I have mad skillz when it comes to approaching dudes I want to get to know. My success rate is at 100% which is why I’ll explain how I did that.

How to approach your crush

Size up your target!

Once you have spotted the person you want to get to know and might start a relationship with in the future. You need to be able to tell what chance do you have at succeeding with them. Never randomly walk up to the person because you won’t have enough info to go on. First: You analyze/observe what kind of person they might be. Second: Think about the environment you’re both in and if it’s a place that tells you if y’all have something in common. Third: Look how they dress because that will also tell you if you might succeed. Fourth: In this case looks matter more. The reason why they matter more is because you haven’t talked to them yet. So you can’t go by their personality just yet, and looks can tell a lot about how things will work out.

Always go with your gut feeling

The second you become interested in talking to them, start planning on your approach (refer too size up your target). This part is where I know a lot of people tend to talk themselves out of making an attempt which is how you screw yourself over. If I had changed my mind and chickened out when I first talked to my boyfriend. We would never have gotten together and I wouldn’t be in the greatest relationship I have ever been in for over 4 years now.

Never think!

Once you have done all the stuff I listed above, you have now advanced to the next stage. Walking up to them and talking! Though when you start to think, that can turn into your worse enemy. Most people will start to freak out, have a mini panic attack, and short circuit the second they can say hi. Try as hard as you can to turn your brain off as much as possible and say only what first comes to mind and natural. The key is to go with the flow and don’t stop to think. AT ALL, other wise you end up like this picture below.

How to approach your crush

Breaking the ice!

Now that you have stopped thinking, it’s time to say hi and start a conversation! I know what y’all are thinking and panicking about.

How do I even start a conversation?

I don’t know what subject to talk about!

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND STOP THINKING!

How to approach your crush

Remember the, no thinking rule I had just finished talking about! Then remember back to, “size up your target,” since doing that will help you know what to start the conversation about. Either by something they’re wearing, looking at, the place y’all are in, etc. If someone is reading a book, polity get their attention and ask them about it. Show your interest in the book and all they explain about it. Build the whole conversation about it and then see if you can branch off more conversations from that. If they’re wearing something cool but different talk about that.

The key to all of this is to show pure and innocent curiosity about the topic you start with. Like a little kid innocent type curiosity but don’t act like a little kid yourself. Even if you end up going with, “Hi, I’m sorry if i’m interrupting anything. It’s just that I honestly want to get to know you since you seem like a very interesting person.” Say that in a very sweet and innocent curious way so you don’t come off as creepy. If they say no then smile and say alright and walk away. Who knows it might make the person stop you and actually talk more to you. So what have we learned? INNOCENT CURIOSITY IS KEY!

Look them in the eyes

I don’t mean like this.

How to approach your crush

I mean like normal eye contact that you do with family and friends. Which I know with someone you like and trying to get to know. It could turn out like these 2.

How to approach your crush How to approach your crush

DON’T PANIC! Remind yourself that you’re doing awesome and to keep eye contact without being creepy.

End goal!

After following all those steps (even adding in your own spice to it), if all goes well then you have succeeded in approaching! Congratulations for passing the first time approaching!

How to approach your crush

The good news is after the first approach it becomes easier and less nerve-racking. Until you confess your feelings to them, yes that nervousness all comes back but trust me it’s worth it! Plus that’s another step for another day. 🙂

I hope this myTake helps a lot of people that have trouble approaching someone you like. Also let me know about your experiences with approaching someone and how did it go?

Have you ever been in a situation where you were crushing hard on someone but were too shy to approach them? It’s even harder for girls because we’re always told that guys are the ones who need to do the chasing. What happens if he doesn’t approach you; does that mean he’s not interested?

When it comes to crushes, you could find yourself in a situation where your crush is just as shy as you are. Maybe he is worried about saying the wrong thing when approaching you, or maybe he thinks you’re not interested. Well, chomas, here are some tips to remember when you want to get closer to your crush.

Find things in common you can talk about

Whether your crush is your neighbour, classmate or friend’s cousin’s friend, there must be something the two of you have in common that you can talk to him about. Maybe you share similar hobbies, music interests or cultures. If you know what they like (and know that you’re interested in the same thing) it will be easier to hold a conversation.

Pick the right time to speak to them

When the opportunity arises for you to talk to them just strike up a conversation. If they are happy to talk to you then great, the two of you can take it from there. If they seem uninterested then that’s okay, at least you got the courage to speak to them! If they seem interested, exchange numbers or invite them to hang out some time.

Be honest

When talking to your crush, don’t pretend to be who you’re not. If the person really is for you, then they should like you for you. Also be honest about your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with being the first one to say it. Waiting for a guy to approach you is so old fashioned. Even as a young woman, there is nothing wrong with you making the first move. The worst that could happen is finding out that he is not interested. And if that is the case, isn’t it better to know now than wasting all that time longing to be with someone, right?

So the next time you see your crush, pluck up the courage to go over to them. Even if it’s just to say “hi”. Sometimes baby steps work too. Good luck choma!

Did you find this article helpful? Yes Yes No No Thank you for your feedback choma!

When you have a crush on a person, you daydream about the person. You play romantic songs or movies and imagine doing things with that person. You identify with characters from romantic stories like Romeo and Juliet or imagine yourself having an affair with them. During this period, your life is governed by your crush. If you’re not sure how to approach your crush, consider these tips. You’ll surely get their attention! You can even make your crush jealous!

If you’re unsure of how to act around your crush, try these tips. It is important to remember that your crush will have many interests and you have to be open to them. If you feel the urge to pursue the person, do not keep it to yourself. The more you communicate with them, the more they will notice you. You can also try to talk to them over their friends. You can also ask them out and show your interest.

Once you’ve established your crush, you should pay attention to their physical behavior. Pay attention to their actions, and you’ll probably notice some instinctual behavior. People react differently when they’re in love, so you need to observe your own behaviors. You’ll either become shy or outgoing depending on your crush’s behavior. And you can also observe their reactions to different things, whether they’re positive or negative. If you’re the one feeling awkward or shy, this is a sign of a crush.

If you’re not sure of whether you should pursue your crush, watch how they act and interact with others. When you’re around someone who you’re attracted to, you should be aware of their behaviour and interactions. When it comes to a crush, it is important to be honest with yourself and your crush. The idea of getting into a relationship is never a good idea. You should always take a break and consider your situation first.

Despite your crush’s good qualities, there is a danger of acting on it. You should avoid wasting your time on a crush. Instead, focus on being genuine and honest with your feelings. Your crush will be impressed with your sincerity and respect for your boundaries. Once you’ve established a relationship, you can move on to the next phase of your life – your new love. Acutely wooing your crush can make you feel very vulnerable and repressed.

The underlying cause of a crush is a lack of attraction. Your crush may not realize they have a crush on you, but it is still a very strong feeling. When you’re deeply attracted to a person, you may be unable to control your feelings for them. But don’t let this stop you from pursuing your crush. Just like in any relationship, your emotions should be as real as you are with a new partner.

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Talking to your Crush is not simple to do. You run through different thoughts on approaching them by not overdoing them to make it awkward. Many questions are running into your head, and anxiety kicks in when you share any contact with them. But that doesn’t mean you won’t try. You should prepare yourself for this risk and be confident to slide the conversation with them.

Having a bit of courage can spark the conversation and work out if the other person is interested. All you have to do is, worry less and get into some action.

Our advice to you to strike up a conversation

Avoid creepy pick up lines

At first, you can’t blabber anything that comes to your mind. Pick-up lines sound a bit creepy when you’re talking to the person for the first time. You don’t want to say desperate and lose your chance with them. Some people don’t find it interesting and may leave you in between.

Giving yourself a pep talk

Before approaching them:
Take a check on your nerves and smile with confidence.
Give yourself a talk, so you don’t utter anything awkward and display your desperate side.
Take your time and look out for the moment to light up a meaningful conversation.

Find mutual interests

It’s necessary to know your Crush’s interest to talk relevant and carry on the conversation. When two of you find something in common to talk about, the chances of having more extended conversations can get a heads up.

Be honest

Be who you’re and do not pretend to be someone else. You have to be honest about your feelings and not regret them when they say NO. It would be better to know that the other person is not interested rather than wasting your time on them.

Wait for the right moment.

Look out for the right time to say something without creating a mess. These things are peculiar, and people don’t want them to discuss in public when they are with friends, colleagues, etc. Talk to them when they are alone and thus avoid being interrupted.

Know when to pause the conversation

This is the main move that you have to be careful about. You can’t bore a person and should know when to move out of it. Unless you’re into deep conversations, you can take a pause and excuse yourself.

Confidence is the key.

Be confident about yourself. Have faith and let your Crush know why you have fallen for them. Do not boast about yourself and keep it genuine as much as possible.

Smile

This small gesture can do wonders. A smile is contagious, showing that you’re full of life and happiness. Also, it may hide your nervousness and break the awkwardness between you two.

Put your best appearance forward.

The first impression is the last. You have to be groomed and should have suitable attire to impress them. It says a lot about your personality and how you carry yourself out in the world.

Crush Can Crush Your Confidence

“Crush” a word with a dual impact. In regular vocabulary, crush is referred to the smashing of any object, but in the vocabulary of loviology, crush is referred to the feeling of love which develops in one person towards another person. Usually, this feeling of crush crushes the soul of numerous persons.

Not, because they are not aware of this nauseating feeling, it just because they don’t know ‘how to approach your crush’.

Yep, I have heard numerous people mulling over the fact that “what would have happened if I have gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my crush? ” how would have been my life turned out if I have confessed my true feelings to my crush? ”

And, behind all these questions, have only left one huge regret and feeling of maybe. So, if you don’t want to tie yourself in the web’s of regret and want to try your luck. Then, you have knocked on the right door as today we together are going to know how to approach your crush.

Take Worst Scenario In Mind

Well, in most of the cases, people hesitate to confess their love because they are scared. They are scared of the other person’s rejection. You see guys, you are not actually scared of the rejection, no actually you are scared of your fantasy world.

Your world where you have already planned that happily ever after with your crush. That’s why you are scared of breaking your happy bubble and facing reality. So, the first way in how to approach your crush saga, you have to face your fears.

Think that what will happen in the worst case scenario, your crush won’t reciprocate your feeling and says you no. Then, what?

Well, it isn’t the end of the world. Think of it as the beginning of the new world. Getting confused? Let me explain, you see folks as you have already confessed your true feelings to your crush. So, now you are free from the question marks of the future as you have tried and it isn’t in your hands that the other person should like you too.

So, guys, facing your fears of rejection will save you from the question marks of tomorrow plus you still have the chance to find your real love. As crush is love that you have chosen for yourself, but real love has been already chosen for you by the almighty.

That’s why in the first step of how to approach your crush, I recommend you to imagine the worst scenario and then go after your crush.

Communication Is The Key

Okay, people, reduce your adrenaline rush little bit, because there is no smartness in confessing your feeling in the rush. I get that after reading my long lecture on facing your fears, you are all ready to face them. But, take a little ease and first start talking.

As simply going and confessing your feeling would only give you a slap (in case of guy) and humiliation (in case of girls). So, in the next step of how to approach your crush, start communication with your crush first. Like:

Exchange College Notes With Each Other

Start Talking On General Topics (like politics or studies)

Try To Establish Friendship

Hangout In the Same Circle of Friends

Go To Movies With Your Crush & Other Friends

Try To Understand Her Or His Likes and Dislikes etc.

Final Strike

Okay, so now as you have developed some sort of friendly relationship where you can talk freely with each other. Then, that’s the right time to approach your crush.

Your fears might again come in your ways but remember the first rule of how to approach your crush and go for it. But, while confessing your feelings to your crush, keep a few things in mind:

Don’t Go Overboard – Don’t go on one knee or book expensive restaurant. No, just say it in a regular conversation, especially, when your crush is expecting the least. This way it won’t look too desperate and will be easier to take rejection.

Don’t Demand Answer Right Away – You have caught your crush in surprise movement. So, let the person take a day or two to think about your proposal. And, don’t you dare go nagging and ask answer after a day. No, when your crush will be ready, he or she will automatically reply. As the ball is now in their court, so you just have to wait patiently.

Take Rejection With Grace – That’s the most important tip, don’t go mad or start crying after hearing rejection. I know it will hurt like hell, but suck it up as you have feelings and you can’t compel another person to reciprocate it. So, wear mature pants and take rejection gracefully.

How To Approach Your Crush #SomeoneIsHere4U Style

Well, mates, if you haven’t found your solution among the above-mentioned tips. Then, don’t get disheartened as Someone Is Here 4 U, we all are here for you. So, share your how to approach your crush related problem or your personal experience as someoneHere4U.

We all have crushes, don’t we? Whether you are in your 20s or still in your teens, there is bound to be a crush now and then who is too cute to not even try to approach. But how do you talk to him without it being super duper awkward? So, being the good women that we are, here are 10 easy ways to talk to your crush!

1. Know thy audience

Before you actually go and talk to him, try to pick up a few things about him. You can subtle stalk him on Facebook or Insta, just to get a rough idea about what exactly to talk to him about and the things that he is interested in.

How to approach your crush

2. Ask for his opinion

If you follow step 1, then it’s gonna help you figure out what he likes and dislikes. So, you can start a casual conversation by talking about something he likes (he doesn’t have to know that you know) and asking his opinion on it. Obviously he will be excited about it and who knows, you might find something you both love. *Wink*

3. Questions to the rescue!

This one’s a gem of an idea, especially for people who are not big talkers! By asking him questions, he will do most of the talking and you will get to know him better in the process. Also, asking questions will lead to more open-ended conversations, instead of the awkward ‘ummms’ and ‘ohhs’ and ‘yes and ‘no’ answers!

How to approach your crush

4. Sit close by…

If you are in the same class or have gone out with friends, try to sit next to him or somewhere close by. It’s natural for any person to talk to people around him/her, so, you most likely will be able to start a conversation with him one way or the other.

5. Invite him for a casual outing with friends

If you have some mutual friends, make a plan with them and ask him to come along. The two of you going alone for the first time may feel awkward, but this definitely won’t. You guys can go out for lunch, bowling or maybe a movie?

How to approach your crush

6. Social media cheat code!

Social media has made things so much easier. So, go ahead and use it to talk to him. Start a casual conversation with him on Facebook and follow it up with some more chit-chat the next day. It will simplify things and there will be no awkwardness either!

7. Offer and lend

Offer to help him out with a problem he might be having. Or if he is looking to borrow a book or anything else that you have, lend it to him. It usually makes for a good conversation starter.

How to approach your crush

8. Ask him for help, even if you don’t particularly need it

If he lives somewhere around your place or if you go to the same class or share a workplace, ask him for help. It could be as simple as asking for directions or helping you understand something work related. It’s a very effective idea!

9. Compliments work like magic

And even better if you give him a not-so-obvious compliment. For instance, ‘Hey, I love that book you are carrying. It is so interesting’ would work way better than a simple ‘You look nice today’. It will get you talking about something you both are interested in, and needless to say, it will be a more interesting conversation!

How to approach your crush

10. Put truth and dare to good use

If you run out of all kinds of options, use the truth and dare excuse. Go up to him and ask him out for coffee saying that it was a dare from your friends. If he says yes, then yay! If he doesn’t say anything or just laughs off the whole thing, you can use that opportunity to have a genuine conversation with him. Once the ice is broken, you won’t feel awkward talking to him anymore.

How to approach your crush

Whether you’re his acquaintance or a total stranger, there are dozens of ways to approach your crush. Some are bold, while others only require a small amount of bravery. Whatever method you choose to use, you’re sure to get his attention. Decide which of the following ways to approach your crush would be best for you, and then put it to the test. You have to try in order to succeed.

1 Question after Question

If you work with him or have a class together, ask him for his opinion on an upcoming project. If you always see him while riding the train, ask him directions to a certain location. Unless he’s antisocial, any question from you will receive an answer. In order to keep the conversation going, have additional questions to ask after the first is answered. One of the best ways to approach your crush is by posing a question, because it won’t be hard for him to respond. Just don’t question him so much that he thinks he’s on a quiz show.

2 Honesty’s the Only Policy

“Hey, you’re in my chem class, right? I’m not sure how we haven’t spoken yet. I’m Elizabeth.” It’s as simple as that. Of course, you should substitute the generic ‘chem class’ with wherever you actually know him from and ‘Elizabeth’ with your actual name. It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll get the job done.

How to approach your crushAre You Hooked on Social Media .

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3 I Spy

If you see your crush reading a certain book, wearing a band shirt, or listening to music, start up a conversation about it. He’s obviously a fan of it, so he should be happy to have a chance to talk about it. If you’ve never heard of the author he’s reading or the band he’s listening to, don’t pretend that they’re your favorite. A lie will be easily found out. It’s better to say that you’ve been looking for new books to read, and ask him if he recommends the one in his hands.

4 Help, I Need Somebody

If he lives in the apartment across from yours, you can be bold and ask him for help with your car. If he’s studying from the same textbook as you, ask him if he can explain a certain concept to you. The task doesn’t have to be complex. It could be something as simple as asking if he’ll hold your coffee for you while you tie your shoe. Whatever works.

5 Consumer Compliments

You don’t have to compliment a physical feature, like his beautiful blue eyes or muscled arms. It’ll feel more natural to comment on something that he’s carrying with him. If your crush is on his phone, compliment him on the case. It can lead to a conversation about new upgrades and your favorite apps. When it comes to technology, there are so many things to discuss that you’ll be talking to him all night.

6 Collide with the Guy

If you’re leaving the same building, try to time it so that you hold the door open for him. After a brief exchange of ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome,’ you can continue the conversation. If you’re on a bus together, you can choose the seat next to him. Since you’re already nearby, it won’t be weird for you to begin talking. In fact, it would be even more weird if you sat there quietly.

7 Common Complaints

It’s not good to be pessimistic, but it helps to vent a little. Bonding over something that you both hate can be simpler than finding something that you both love. If you’re in the same line at the supermarket, you can complain about the long wait or the prices. Just be careful, because you run the risk of having him disagree with you. If he’s optimistic and upbeat, this could backfire.

Be brave and go talk to that special boy! Are you on speaking terms with your crush? Do you think your relationship is going to go anywhere?

You have got a crush and yet you have no idea of asking him/her for a date. You are afraid that he/she might reject you and give you the weird look. Perhaps you are afraid that it will be hard to approach him/her again in the future, just in case if he/she rejects you. Some of you are shy by nature and find this tough. Some are talkative to everyone else in the world but not to the crush! In fact, these two groups of people are experiencing the same situation: Speechless when it comes to asking their crush for a date. Here are some tips to approach your crush:

1. Take things easy and talk to your crush as how you do to your friends. Don’t get nervous. Your crush doesn’t bite!
2. Ask your crush if he/she is doing fine with everything lately.
3. Show concern as a friend if your crush is having lots on his/her mind, offer help as well.
4. If your crush mentioned that he/she needs help, do offer and see what you can do about it. If your crush said that he/she will be able to settle it on his/her own, do not persist then. Just tell him/her that you will stand by his/her side and if he/she ever needs anything, feel free to ask.
5. Get to know about your crush: Hobbies, Interests, Hangouts, Favorite Food, Favorite Music (genre), etc.
6. Get to know if your crush has any dislikes on particular things or places
7. Ask your crush if he/she has any plans on the coming weekends.
8. Schedule a date with your crush!

Lifestyle

Dating may get you unaware if you do not know how to respond to the opposite sex. What to wear? What to say? Where to touch? When to call? When to go for the second date? Creates confusion and makes dating tiresome.

Up your game with following easy steps.

  • Dating can become tiresome especially when you do not know how to approach your crush.
  • Talking to your crush can be a nerve-racking experience and that is why you need to approach him/her like a pro.

Think of it this way; a lion in a park starving to death and all of a sudden a gazelle appears in the bush. What does the lion do? First it spies on the prey for the first few minutes and immediately dashes for it, the gazelle ducks but it is outsmarted by the lion’s speed and strength.

The same applies when you see someone attractive, do not wait until someone else approaches first. Go and start a conversation. A handshake would be good for the first time.

Watch the Response

If he/she does not accept the handshake. Kindly ask where the washrooms are and walk out fast. If she/he turns to your direction and accepts your handshake, proceed to the next point.

Compliment

With a smile on your face, compliment your crush and be honest about it. Mention how you had butterflies when he/she entered the room.

Be generous with your compliments, three compliments are enough.

Confidence

What you say does not matter, the way you say it is what matters. Confidence makes things look excellent even when it is a big mistake.

Fidget a little, speak with a calm voice.

Humour

Laughter always breaks the ice, do this in moderation or else you stand to be friend-zoned.

Maintain eye contact

Laughter with a maintained eye contact ignites a sparkle in your crush.

Show interest

You will win points if you constantly ask interesting questions, this fuels the conversation.Questions like: What is your day job? Which college did you go to?When is your birthday? Are overused and sound dull.

Instead ask questions like: How did he/she know about a certain place? Was he/she recommended by a friend or was out of curiosity?

To make sure it is a good start share the same opinions.

Ask for a date

I stopped asking for dates via phone calls and messages, I ask for dates in face to face conversations. If I am turned down it is an automatic turn off.

Suggest places that both of you have heard before and are okay to visit for a first date, it will also reduce the chances of being turned down or no shows.

Finally.

Be brief

Take 10-15 minutes with your crush, you want your crush to remain interested and think about you the moment he/she leaves.

Without creeping them out.

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You know, meeting people offline isn’t easy. Once you’re post-college, your options for finding true love IRL are limited. You can hang out at bars, wait for a mutual friend introduction, or hope for a Hollywood-worthy meet cute.

So while we’re all about heading to the gym with a one-minded purpose of getting in a serious, focused workout, we also get that romance has to start somewhere — and for some people, that’s the gym.

That said, there are many, many ways to be creepy at the gym and to do more harm than good. While a lot of gym etiquette surrounding finding love can be left to common sense — i.e. for heaven’s sake, don’t interrupt them in the middle of a workout to hit on them — MyProtein recently conducted a survey on all things love and fitness.

The survey had 2,365 respondents, aged 18 to 70. And while plenty of people may say “no thanks” to gym flirting, according to the survey, 85 percent of respondents were totally fine with romantic attention at the gym. And apparently, that means they’re also comfortable going for it: 29 percent of the respondents said they’d tried gym flirting — and over half of them said they did so successfully.

Unsurprisingly, the men in the survey were more open to flirting than the women — 88 percent of men gave the thumbs up to flirting, while only 76 percent of women felt the same. Also interesting: The survey found that older populations were more open to gym flirting than those 18 to 24 years old.

But like we said, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to go about it. “Stare at them” earned the top spot as the worst way to woo a date, according to 41 percent of respondents. And showing off in front of your gym crush won’t win you any brownie points either: 18 percent of respondents voted this as the worst way to flirt.

If you’ve been wanting to ask out the cutie on the battle ropes for a while now, we’ve got good news. According to 54 percent of respondents, the best strategy is a simple one: “Just smile and try to make conversation.” Our interpretation: There’s no need for cheesy pickup lines or crazy stunts. Just act like a normal human talking to another human. Easy, right?

If that fails, you can also choose the second-most popular way to flirt: making friends with their friends, then trying to talk to them that way. Hey, it’s worth a shot!

Like what you’re reading? Stay in touch with Be Well Philly—here’s how:

Advice

5 unexpected ways to get your crush to notice you this school year

Going back to in-person school brings the chance to connect with teachers, best friends and, ofc, crushes. But your flirt game is probably a bit rusty from the year you spent on Zoom. Wondering how you can catch a certain cutie’s attention this Fall? GL has all the advice with 5 unexpected ways to get your crush to notice you this school year. Scroll on for some ideas sure to grab your crush’s attention.

Dress in a style that reflects your personality

Want your crush to notice how *amaze* you are without just striking up a convo? Express your personality with the clothes you wear. If you’re a super sporty athlete, wear your game day gear to class. Always the funny one in your friend group? Bright, bold colors and patterns will help your inner comedian shine. As long as you’re staying true to your personality and you like what you’re wearing, people will notice the real—and really confident—you.

Bring your silliest at-home self to school

Don’t leave your fun side at home when you head back to the classroom. If you show your silly side at home, bring that version of yourself to school. Your classmates and your crush are sure to notice how funny and comfortable you are when you’re being your authentic self. Even if you feel awkward at first, it’s good to go out of your comfort zone. You might just make some new BFFs, too.

Go out for leadership roles in things you’re passionate about

Whether it’s a celeb that speaks out for change, a sports coach that always motivates you, or a bestie who runs her own biz, there’s probably a leader in your life that you admire. News flash: you can be that girl. At the start of the new school year, go out for leadership roles in things you’re passionate about. Become the chair of the chess club, the lead in the new school play, or the one reading morning announcements. Not only is it great for catching your crush’s attention, but it also looks good on your college apps.

Try out that bold new hairdo you’ve always wanted

If you’ve been eyeing a cute ‘cut forever, take this as your sign to go for it. There’s nothing like a brand new look to make you your most confident self. Just make sure you read up on how long it takes to grow back, how to care for it, and what particular cut is the best for your face shape. If a chop isn’t your thing, consider doing a temporary dye. Your fam can help you make sure you’re doing the best treatment for your hairstyle.

Volunteer in class—even if you aren’t sure of the answer

It might sound strange that participating in class could get your crush to notice you. But if you think about who you remember from your classes, it’s probably the person who spoke up a lot. Even if you’re not sure what the answer to the teacher’s question is, try to volunteer when you have an idea. It’s an easy way to get your classmates, including your crush, to remember who you are *and* what classes you have together. Your teacher will appreciate it too.

At the end of the day, getting your crush to notice you is all about being yourself. When others can tell that you’re happy as you are—not trying to change yourself for anyone—you’ll attract the people you need in your life, trust.

Try any of these tips, or have your own suggestions? Let us know by tagging us @girlslifemag on social media!
Title Photo: Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels

The thought of striking a conversation with your crush could make you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach. How to talk to your crush – 10 ways to approach your crush.

Posted 4 years ago in Entertainment, updated 4 years ago.

How to approach your crush

The thought of striking a conversation with your crush could make you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach.

But if you take things slow, and focus on the three stages mentioned in the introduction, the attention stage, the chemistry stage and finally the conversation stage, you’d realize that even before you start talking to your crush, your crush would already have a crush on you!

How to approach your crush

Ask for help

The easiest way to chat up a crush is by asking them for help. If you notice your crush standing nearby, pretend like you’re looking for something, a book or a particular person. Look around dramatically and impatiently, and pretend like you’re almost panicking because you’re already late for something. And all of a sudden, lock eyes with your crush, and ask them a question, “hey… did you notice a book lying around here?” or “I’m sorry, but did you see a girl walk past here just now?”

Once your crush answers your question, continue to look around for a few more seconds, and exchange a fleeting glance, nod or smile and walk away like you’re flustered and busy. Don’t start a conversation here, or it’ll appear like you were just faking it to chat them up. There’s always a next time to talk to your crush for longer.

How to approach your crush

Use social media

Comment on something your crush comments on, as long as both of you have a common friend. You don’t need to answer your crush directly, just be seen by them. Your crush will surely check your facebook page and try to get to know more about you.

You need to remember that the secret behind getting a crush to like you is to make them believe they’re the ones who are more curious about you!

How to approach your crush

Give a C-word

And by C-word, I mean compliment. Have you ever received a compliment you didn’t like?

Unless it’s backhanded, “You look less tired than you normally do,” compliments are a pleasure to receive. They’re also a pleasure to give to others.

Safran agrees that compliments are usually the easiest way to go. You don’t have to compare his eyes to the ocean, but you could mention that you like his shoes. Or better yet, the points he made at today’s meeting.

“When you are perceptive to a part of your crush’s character beyond the physical, it shows that you see him for who he is,” Armet explains.

Your crush will feel good, and you will be the reason for it.

Smile while walking past your crush

When you’re walking past your crush and their friends aren’t around, just smile fleetingly or say hi to your crush. Don’t stop and chat though, just say hello and walk past them.

As long as you’ve built the chemistry up in the earlier stages, your crush would be waiting to talk to you the very next time both of you bump into each other.

Get friendly with your crush’s friends

Do both of you share any common friends? Try to get to know them better. Don’t tell this friend about your crush. Instead, just try to strike up a conversation with the friend now and then. It’s a great way to get to know your crush without approaching them directly.

How to approach your crush

Use your friends

If you’re hanging out with your friends and your crush walks past you or sits down somewhere near you, use your friends to send the message across. When they tease you or constantly stare at your crush, it would embarrass your crush while making them fall for you harder

Bumping into each other

If you bump into your crush, accidentally or otherwise, don’t be shy. Instead of walking away or looking the other way, smile, wave or say hello. Both of you have been exchanging glances for far too long to miss out on an opportunity like this! But keep the conversation short the first time.

How to approach your crush

Stay in touch

Connect on Facebook or your smartphone right then and there during your interaction. Call each other while you’re chatting to save numbers. Get a card or email. It’s surprising how often the info will be freely given once you have made a true connection.

Studies show that most couples bond through repeated interactions before they ever go out on a date. So notice their patterns, try to run into them regularly. Or exchange texts on a consistent basis.

Attraction levels vary wildly as you get to know someone. A hottie may think you’re kind of cute at first, but then suddenly find themselves crushing on you as the two of you bond more.

One thing is for sure, in order to find the love of your life, you need to quit being intimidated by looks and practice connecting with hotties. Otherwise, you might accidentally rule out the person who might be the love of your life.

The snow has not yet melted, and a trip from your cozy dorm to the Buck Center can be tedious – especially if you decide to brave the icy paths in your Nikes instead of your go-to Bean Boots. This can be especially problematic for those of us whose list of New Year’s resolutions included pledges to exercise more. However, the freezing journey is even more gratifying when you know without a doubt that your athlete crush will be there, too! Ah, yes – that athletic cutie who exercises religiously and who, until now, you have been too shy to approach. Hopefully, the following tips will help you get rid of your bashfulness and pluck up the courage to talk to that sporty crush of yours. Put on your sneakers, ladies, because today you will be running… into your crush!

1. Work out next to him or her What better way to make a connection with someone than to share workout space, right? I’m not just talking about being on the same floor as your crush. I’m talking about being on the rowing machine or treadmill right next to him or her. Sure, it can be a little weird choosing a machine that is in his or her immediate vicinity when all the other machines are empty, but it’s a great way to signal your interest. Doing so creates an opportunity to make some kind of connection. Small talk? Eye contact? The possibilities are endless.

2. Let’s get physical! No, I am not referring to Olivia Newton-John’s 1981 hit single (although it is a great workout song)! Asking your crush to help you with your fitness goals is a great way to initiate a conversation. If your interactions with this person have mainly consisted of infrequent eye contact, try asking him or her to help you perfect your push-up or deadlift form. Alternatively, if you have a bit more history with your crush, casually mention the idea of being workout buddies. After all, it takes two to tango! He or she could become your running buddy or help you weightlift. With your crush as a consistent workout buddy, you’ll be able to stay fit and build a relationship.

3. A compliment goes a long way Sometimes it is necessary to be a little more daring than usual. Flirting with your crush in the gym is one of those times. Compliments as simple as, “Wow, you look really good!” or, “I really admire your endurance!” are great ways to show your crush that you appreciate his or her athleticism. A compliment will definitely catch his or her attention in a good way. Who knows? You might just get a compliment in return!

4. If all else fails, admire from afarIf you still have reservations about approaching Mr. or Ms. Athletic-Pants, you can always resort to checking them out from afar and secretly hoping that a flirty session of eye contact might ensue. Hopefully, they’ll be able to take a hint!

Become a regular.

It might sound like the biggest cliché to pick someone up during their workout, but with one in five Happn users saying they’d rather go for a spontaneous run or walk to get to know someone than the traditional cinema, dinner or drink options, it’s clear that people are still willing to take a stab at finding romance on the treadmill.

How to approach your crush

Relationships on Female First

There’s a lot to be said for meeting someone at the gym – if you’re both there, you clearly already share one thing in common and it’s likely you live similar lifestyles with a focus on health and fitness. It’s also a good sign if someone’s still interested in chatting when you’re not looking your best and breaking a sweat.

But it’s got to be done in the right way – with anti-social headphones keeping people plugged in left, right and centre, and some intense routines that are not to be messed with, you should approach with caution.

Here to give us her top tips is Marie Cosnard, Head of Trends at dating app Happn:

1) Become a regular

Setting up a regular schedule for when you go to the gym, and perhaps even what classes you take, will help lay the groundwork for natural conversation starters as you start to bump into the same people again and again. It would almost be rude not to acknowledge them after all!

It’s not the same as meeting someone in a bar, where conversations might quickly turn to talk of romance, but it could ultimately lead to a great connection built on a solid foundation.

2) Make yourself approachable

That said, do make sure to mix up your routine and explore other areas of the gym. If you’re always lifting weights or hitting the cross-trainer, you could miss out on great people working on something else, or cut yourself off from those who would otherwise approach you.

3) Don’t overdo it

Pretending you’ve done 100 press ups after five, attempting to lift free weights that are twice as heavy as you are, or ‘dressing up’ for the occasion are all big no nos. People can sense those trying too hard to impress from a mile off and it’s not a good look.

Stick to your limits and be natural, but dedicated – the more determined you appear, and comfortable you seem in your own skin, the more you’ll exude confidence. And that’s attractive.

4) Share knowledge but don’t correct

Exchange tips and ask for advice – perhaps there’s a machine you’ve never used or you simply want to know where the best place for a protein shake is. But do not offer unsolicited critique on someone’s form. Offending your crush generally doesn’t bode well for the beginning of a budding relationship…

5) Be friendly and sincere

It really is as simple as that. A big warm smile, the occasional flirtatious glance and sincere compliments (but not on looks – or watch their guard go up and up). And if you’re going to make your move, perhaps a little self-awareness – it is cliché to approach someone in the gym, but if you put the disclaimer out there from the offset, you immediately get rid of all pretences and can start an honest conversation.

By Ditch the Label

  • /
  • Post date

    Whether it’s online or in real life, it can be seriously hard to tell someone that you actually ‘like’ them. Ditch the Label put their heads together with Lynx to come up with the ultimate do’s and don’ts when it comes to valentines-day dating.

    1. Keep it casual

    Big grand gestures are great but sometimes, less is more when it comes to the early stages of dating. Try something as simple as ‘Do you wanna hang out sometime?’ or ‘do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat with me?’ Send a text, a note or a message if you’re not so good at saying things face to face.

    How to approach your crush

    2. Be clear

    That being said, it’s really important to state your intentions when you’re asking someone out. We’re all familiar with the “friend zone”. It’s so easy to be misunderstood when you ask someone out. Make sure they know they’re going on a date, not just hanging out as mates. Sounds pretty basic but you’d be surprised how quickly things get awkward, just sayin’.

    How to approach your crush

    3. Cut the crap

    Whilst the cheesy one-liners might make for hilarious tinder memes, they definitely don’t work in the real world of dating. Rather than asking them how they like their eggs in the morning, how about actually just telling them straight up or cracking a joke to make them laugh first? After all, research by Lynx revealed that having a sense of humour was the most attractive trait in a guy.

    How to approach your crush

    4. Be confident

    It’s a nerve-wracking thing to tell someone you like them, so it’s normal to feel a bit vulnerable. The trick with confidence is to know that you are good enough (which you are, BTW). The research by Lynx also showed that women preferred individuality over stereotypical ‘manliness’. So, take a deep breath and be true to yourself – it’s a win-win!

    How to approach your crush

    5. Never ever, ever, ever send unsolicited nudes.

    This may seem like a no-brainer but some people give out d*** pics like handshakes. If you translate this into a real-life scenario, it’s classed as flashing or indecent exposure!

    How to approach your crush

    6. Make sure you look the part

    Whilst looks certainly aren’t everything, it’s still great for your confidence if you feel you look the part. Don’t be afraid to express yourself – from your hair to your clothes to your makeup (yep, you heard right), try choosing something you feel comfortable in and that shows off what makes you unique.

    How to approach your crush

    7. Don’t let fear of rejection hold you back

    Try to remember that rejection is just another part of life. It hurts and that will never change but it can be a great teacher if you’re willing to look for the lessons and grow from them. If your feelings aren’t reciprocated, dust yourself off and move on.

    How to approach your crush

    8. Finally, be yourself.

    A terrifying thought, but trust us on this one. The thing is, it gets pretty tiring pretending to be somebody you’re not, especially if the date goes well and you have to keep up the act. In fact, according to Lynx, 9 out of 10 women find guys most attractive when they’re just being themselves!

    How to approach your crush

    So there you have it, 8 things to keep in mind when approaching your crush on Valentine’s! Now, go get em’!

    You can’t get over his beautiful eyes, athletic build or gorgeous smile. All you want to do is talk to him all the time and make him realize that you’re perfect for each other. That’s right: you have a crush and you’re falling hard.

    We’ve been reading about flirting tips since middle school, and while having the confidence to express interest in someone is admirable, sometimes we get carried away. By coming on too strongly, you risk hurting your chances with your crush instead of helping them! Here are four ways that you scare off your potential love interests and how to come off a little more subtly.

    1. You bombard him with texts, messages, emails, etc.

    You know your crush has a test today, so you shoot him a text wishing him luck. But then you see something on campus that reminds you of him, so obviously you send him a funny Snapchat. And then, your professor says something ridiculous in class so you decide to chat him on Facebook, even though he’s sitting a few seats away from you. And then you text him again, so he knows to check his Facebook chat. By the middle of the day, he has about 12 notifications blowing up his phone…all from you.

    With the dozens of ways to stay connected, it’s tempting to want to keep up constant communication with your crush. But over-communication, even across different platforms, can come off as smothering.

    “It’s really common for collegiettes to over-text,” says Laurie Davis, founder of eFlirt, an online dating service. “Staying in communication is great, but checking in too often can be a turnoff.”

    While it’s great that you want to get to know your crush and talk throughout the day, over-communicating might overwhelm your love interest. So instead of sending a FB message followed by a quick phone call, choose one form of communication for the day. “Make sure you’re not always the first one to text,” Davis says. “And stick to one platform. For example, texting and Snapchatting can seem like overload for your crush.”

    Reaching out a few times with subtle messages will convey that you have some interest, but it won’t make you seem clingy. “Flirting is all about nuance,” Davis explains. “Digitally, you can do this by using emoticons more often – like winky faces [are more subtle than] hearts!” And if you find yourself always texting first, give your crush a chance to initiate the conversation first next time. It’s a good way to find out if your feelings are mutual! It’s totally okay to text your crush first sometimes (taking some initiative is a good thing!), but just make sure you’re not always the first one to reach out.

    2. You involve your friends

    Your friend knows his friend, and when you’re all out at a party, your friend badgers him about your crush and his feelings – while you watch from across the room, of course. Then it becomes a game of “he said she said,” and before you know it, your entire friend group is involved playing matchmaker.

    Of course, we’re going to talk to our besties about our crushes, but that doesn’t mean that they have to get involved. No matter if they know your crush or his friends, your crush will eventually figure out that you’re trying to find out more about him via your friends. Awkward!

    “It’s natural to want to gush to your friends,” Davis says. “But try not to put them in the middle. This is college, not middle school. No passing notes necessary.”

    Instead of having your bestie pass along a message to his friend that you hope will reach your crush, be direct yourself. If you want to talk to your crush at a party, start a casual conversation. You’ll realize quickly if he’s into it or not.

    “If you prod him a few times and he doesn’t [seem like he wants to hang] as much, he may not be as into you as you think,” Davis says.

    So save the gossiping for roomie wine nights and skip the go-between, mixed messages between friends. You can show interest all by yourself!

    3. You’re constantly running into him or her “by accident”

    You know that he gets out of class around 11:30, so you make sure you’re walking by as soon as he walks out the door. During your lunch break, you accidentally run into him in the dining hall and then again when he’s getting coffee. And, surprise! You see him at the gym later on and you can’t help but think, “What a coincidence!”

    Let’s be real, we’ve all done it at least once: stalking our crushes in the most non-creepy way possible. While it’s nice to unintentionally run into your crush, once you start planning your day around where he or she will be, your crush will probably be a little freaked out that you keep finding each other.

    “Once you’ve creeped someone out, you’re out of the game!” says Adam LoDolce, a dating confidence expert. “[Avoid] following them on Facebook and then creepily showing up to the same party. The best thing to do is give some space.”

    If you’re running into your crush multiple times a day or consistently seeking them out every single day for a week or two, consider backing off. Instead of planning feigned coincidental meetings, see if you actually run into them accidentally! Focus on seeing other friends, and once you’ve given your crush a little more space (about a week), contact them again. Your crush will probably feel less overwhelmed, giving you a fresh start to pursue him or her!

    4. You’re overly flirty

    When he sends a “What’s up?” text, you immediately respond with “Nothing much, sexy ;).” And when you see him at the bar later, you seductively drag him to the dance floor when all he wanted to do was quickly say hello. We all love to flirt, but there’s a difference between flirty and aggressive.

    “Be subtle,” LoDolce says. “It’s a powerful way to show interest.” Instead of immediately turning a casual texting conversation into something suggestive, actually talk to your crush and include a couple of smiley faces here and there. If you’re talking in person, smile a lot and maybe tease him a little to see if you get a response.

    “In person, try touching his arm when he makes you laugh and see how he responds,” Davis suggests. “Angle your body towards him more and make eye contact.”

    When you’re subtle and not overbearing with your flirting, you can judge if your crush is into you or not. Keep him guessing instead of laying it all out there. Flirting doesn’t have to be over the top; sometimes the simplest gestures send the biggest messages.

    Crushes are exciting, but sometimes we get a little too enthusiastic about them… Okay, try a lot enthusiastic. Instead of improving your chances with your love interest, you might be hurting them by coming off too strongly. Just keep these tips in mind and remember that a little subtlety can go a long way!

    By Ditch the Label

  • /
  • Post date

    Whether it’s online or in real life, it can be seriously hard to tell someone that you actually ‘like’ them. Ditch the Label put their heads together with Lynx to come up with the ultimate do’s and don’ts when it comes to valentines-day dating.

    1. Keep it casual

    Big grand gestures are great but sometimes, less is more when it comes to the early stages of dating. Try something as simple as ‘Do you wanna hang out sometime?’ or ‘do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat with me?’ Send a text, a note or a message if you’re not so good at saying things face to face.

    How to approach your crush

    2. Be clear

    That being said, it’s really important to state your intentions when you’re asking someone out. We’re all familiar with the “friend zone”. It’s so easy to be misunderstood when you ask someone out. Make sure they know they’re going on a date, not just hanging out as mates. Sounds pretty basic but you’d be surprised how quickly things get awkward, just sayin’.

    How to approach your crush

    3. Cut the crap

    Whilst the cheesy one-liners might make for hilarious tinder memes, they definitely don’t work in the real world of dating. Rather than asking them how they like their eggs in the morning, how about actually just telling them straight up or cracking a joke to make them laugh first? After all, research by Lynx revealed that having a sense of humour was the most attractive trait in a guy.

    How to approach your crush

    4. Be confident

    It’s a nerve-wracking thing to tell someone you like them, so it’s normal to feel a bit vulnerable. The trick with confidence is to know that you are good enough (which you are, BTW). The research by Lynx also showed that women preferred individuality over stereotypical ‘manliness’. So, take a deep breath and be true to yourself – it’s a win-win!

    How to approach your crush

    5. Never ever, ever, ever send unsolicited nudes.

    This may seem like a no-brainer but some people give out d*** pics like handshakes. If you translate this into a real-life scenario, it’s classed as flashing or indecent exposure!

    How to approach your crush

    6. Make sure you look the part

    Whilst looks certainly aren’t everything, it’s still great for your confidence if you feel you look the part. Don’t be afraid to express yourself – from your hair to your clothes to your makeup (yep, you heard right), try choosing something you feel comfortable in and that shows off what makes you unique.

    How to approach your crush

    7. Don’t let fear of rejection hold you back

    Try to remember that rejection is just another part of life. It hurts and that will never change but it can be a great teacher if you’re willing to look for the lessons and grow from them. If your feelings aren’t reciprocated, dust yourself off and move on.

    How to approach your crush

    8. Finally, be yourself.

    A terrifying thought, but trust us on this one. The thing is, it gets pretty tiring pretending to be somebody you’re not, especially if the date goes well and you have to keep up the act. In fact, according to Lynx, 9 out of 10 women find guys most attractive when they’re just being themselves!

    How to approach your crush

    So there you have it, 8 things to keep in mind when approaching your crush on Valentine’s! Now, go get em’!

    5 Proven Tips on How to Chat with Your Crush

    6 Tips to Keep the Conversation Going

    So he walks in and you suddenly feel your body temperature rising. You’d like to come closer and talk to him but your knees don’t support you well. If you start talking you’ll certainly say something stupid and you’ll stutter. If this situation feels familiar, you should know that you’re not the only one who feels that way. If he likes you, he certainly has the same emotions. So go ahead and give him a little help.

    How to approach your crush

    5 Proven Tips on How to Chat with Your Crush

    Be always careful to look nice and keep a bright smile on your face

    Shower, apply some perfume, brush your hair, put a little make up on, do all those things you know to make you more attractive. They will increase your confidence level and make you feel more relaxed. Always maintain a good posture! Maintaining your back straight with your shoulders up will make you look slimmer and taller. At the same time, it will empower you and make you feel more in control. Don’t overdo it though, you don’t want to seem fussy or cold.

    Non-verbal language is important as well

    Do not keep your arms crossed even if you feel like the urge to do it. Keep your arms down, near your body as this will make you seem open and help you keep your shoulders straight.

    Smile, smile, smile!

    This will let him know you enjoy his presence and you’re happy to see him. Nothing’s more encouraging than a big smile. Be sweet and a little flirtatious to make him feel comfortable in your presence. Try to catch his eyes and maintain eye contact while talking to him. You shouldn’t exaggerate though, because you don’t want to make him think that you’re staring at him. When you talk to him, try to gauge his reaction to you. You don’t want to talk to a guy who is not interested in you and embarrass yourself this way. If his face lights up when he sees you, it definitely means that he’s interested.

    Use your eyes to communicate with him

    Slightly raise your eyebrows when you see him and smile as if you just had a pleasant surprise (which you did). At the same time, pay attention to where he is looking and whether he seems to be interested in what you say. If he doesn’t, don’t insist to capture his attention, maybe he is tired or stressed.

    Approach at the Right Time

    The best chance to approach him is when there aren’t many people around. This will guarantee you have his full attention. Don’t be shy, if you know him it’s actually impolite not to say hi when you see him. Smile and ask him how his day is going. Don’t be afraid to be friendly and compliment him. You don’t need to say much, but you could notice his nice shirt.

    6 Tips to Keep the Conversation Going

    Ask Personal Questions

    In general you should keep the conversation funny and light, so compliment him, ask him about his interests, and flirt a little. It’s okay to ask personal questions which you want to know the answers to. People like to talk about themselves. Ask him how his day is going or what courses does he need to attend today.

    Explore Common Interests

    Ask which are his favorite and least favorite subjects in school and identify those which of them you both like or dislike. If he says he doesn’t like math, jump right in and say how much you hate it too. If he enjoys astronomy, ask him to tell you a little about the stars and share a few of the most fascinating facts with you. Maybe he will invite you to his place for some star watching with his new telescope.

    Talk about the Weather

    Bring the discussion about the weather in such a way that it brings you a casual date. If it’s hot, complain about it and tell him how much you’d love an ice-cream right now. If it’s cold, you know what to do! Complain you’re freezing and you could really use some hot chocolate to warm up.

    Compliment Him

    Always keep the conversation light and funny. Guys love girls with a good sense of humor. Compliment him in a funny way. You could say something like “Wow, what’s with the nice shirt? Did you buy it or are they just paying you to model for them?”

    Use Texting

    You could text him a funny compliment during class. If he’s wearing a blue t-shirt which you like, just write “Oh yeah, blue is definitely your color”. This will guarantee you get a smile from across the room. You could tell a nice joke you heard recently or tell a funny story of something that happened to you this week. An embarrassing story from your life can make the perfect situation where you can both have a good laugh at something. Sharing experiences can create a strong bond between you two.

    Adapt to Him

    If he’s a bit shy and introverted, help him by talking a bit more than he does in the beginning: not about yourself, but about something interesting. It can be something that you saw on TV, or something that’s happening in school. Avoid gossiping though because it can make a bad impression. If he’s extroverted and likes to talk, then be a good listener. You want to know a lot of things about him anyway.

    How to Talk to an Old Crush

    Do you still remember your crush when you were in high school? What if you meet that person again in a reunion? What will you do? Will you be honest enough about how you were attracted to him/her back then? How you ever wished that someday you will meet again and spend the rest of your lives together? Or will you just keep quiet as if you never knew them or just shy away? But what if you want to or have to talk to an old crush? Do you know how to get started?

    How to approach your crush

    How to Talk to an Old Crush

    Get Updated

    The first thing you should do is to have a reality check. It’s been so many years since you two last met. So before fantasizing a relationship with your old flame, check the facts. Get the newest information about your old crush and figure out how you feel about him or her now.

    How to approach your crush

    Start slow

    How to talk to an old crush? Simply say hi and start the conversation, simple as that. But don’t be aggressive and too passionate and don’t jump immediately to the fact that you had a crush on him or her once no matter you’ve gotten over it or not. Have some small talk, get nostalgic and gradually move to topics about current status, like single or taken, current job, new hobbies.

    How to approach your crush

    Spouses should be involved

    Yes you’ve been friends since high school and you even had a crush on him or her, but you haven’t seen each other for decades. If one or both of you are married, involve the spouse(s) as a sign of respect to each other’s marriage.

    How to approach your crush

    Ask questions

    How to talk to an old crush? Do it by telling something about yourself first and then start asking questions. Don’t expect the person to be the same person you met ten years ago. People change. Treat the conversation like meeting a familiar stranger.

    How to approach your crush

    Don’t take things personally

    When you try to contact an old flame, you don’t know what is happening with his or her life in that moment. Don’t get offended if that person doesn’t want to meet or doesn’t respond. It is not about you.

    How to approach your crush

    Don’t dwell on the past

    It feels good to rekindle the past but make sure to jump to the present timely. This is a sure way of enjoying the moment, discovering something new about the person and seizing the opportunity in making new friendships or even relationships.

    How to approach your crush

    Go to her resort

    If you know her whereabouts, you may want to visit those places for a chance of seeing her.

    You know that she visits this Thai restaurant every Monday, try dining in that restaurant on Monday.

    If you have common friends, attend occasions which you think she will attend, but don’t prioritize meeting her. Enjoy the occasion with your friends first so that if she doesn’t come, you will still have a great time.

    How to approach your crush

    Use social media

    Another way on how to talk to an old crush is through social media. Start by liking his or her posts or retweeting his or her tweets. But don’t go overboard because you may look like a stalker or someone creepy.

    Just choose one or two of his or her posts which you truly like and put an interval when liking. You may also start commenting on his or her posts in a way that’s not showing your feelings too obviously. You can also post thoughts which you think will catch his or her attention. By doing this, you will send the message that you still exist and are around.

    How to approach your crush

    Text her

    You may also want to test the waters by sending texts, but how to talk to an old crush via texts and what to talk about. Here is an example. Try asking if she watched the new sequel of a movie which you both loved.

    If she answers you in a friendly manner, keep the communication going and match your messages with hers. If the conversation has been going smoothly for some time, then you may subtly ask her out.

    But do not send the same text repeated or send texts too frequently. Besides, if she only replies a single sentence after two hours of your text, read between the lines.

    How to approach your crush

    Whether you’re his acquaintance or a total stranger, there are dozens of ways to approach your crush. Some are bold, while others only require a small amount of bravery. Whatever method you choose to use, you’re sure to get his attention. Decide which of the following ways to approach your crush would be best for you, and then put it to the test. You have to try in order to succeed.

    1. QUESTION AFTER QUESTION

    If you work with him or have a class together, ask him for his opinion on an upcoming project. If you always see him while riding the train, ask him directions to a certain location. Unless he’s antisocial, any question from you will receive an answer. In order to keep the conversation going, have additional questions to ask after the first is answered. One of the best ways to approach your crush is by posing a question, because it won’t be hard for him to respond. Just don’t question him so much that he thinks he’s on a quiz show.

    2. HONESTY’S THE ONLY POLICY

    “Hey, you’re in my chem class, right? I’m not sure how we haven’t spoken yet. I’m Elizabeth.” It’s as simple as that. Of course, you should substitute the generic ‘chem class’ with wherever you actually know him from and ‘Elizabeth’ with your actual name. It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll get the job done.

    3. I SPY

    If you see your crush reading a certain book, wearing a band shirt, or listening to music, start up a conversation about it. He’s obviously a fan of it, so he should be happy to have a chance to talk about it. If you’ve never heard of the author he’s reading or the band he’s listening to, don’t pretend that they’re your favorite. A lie will be easily found out. It’s better to say that you’ve been looking for new books to read, and ask him if he recommends the one in his hands.

    4. HELP, I NEED SOMEBODY

    If he lives in the apartment across from yours, you can be bold and ask him for help with your car. If he’s studying from the same textbook as you, ask him if he can explain a certain concept to you. The task doesn’t have to be complex. It could be something as simple as asking if he’ll hold your coffee for you while you tie your shoe. Whatever works.

    5. CONSUMER COMPLIMENTS

    You don’t have to compliment a physical feature, like his beautiful blue eyes or muscled arms. It’ll feel more natural to comment on something that he’s carrying with him. If your crush is on his phone, compliment him on the case. It can lead to a conversation about new upgrades and your favorite apps. When it comes to technology, there are so many things to discuss that you’ll be talking to him all night.

    6. COLLIDE WITH THE GUY

    If you’re leaving the same building, try to time it so that you hold the door open for him. After a brief exchange of ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome,’ you can continue the conversation. If you’re on a bus together, you can choose the seat next to him. Since you’re already nearby, it won’t be weird for you to begin talking. In fact, it would be even more weird if you sat there quietly.

    7. COMMON COMPLAINTS

    It’s not good to be pessimistic, but it helps to vent a little. Bonding over something that you both hate can be simpler than finding something that you both love. If you’re in the same line at the supermarket, you can complain about the long wait or the prices. Just be careful, because you run the risk of having him disagree with you. If he’s optimistic and upbeat, this could backfire.

    Be brave and go talk to that special boy! Are you on speaking terms with your crush? Do you think your relationship is going to go anywhere?

    Source: love.allwomenstalk.com

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    Ugh, the perilous world of dating.

    It ‘ s frustrating and often disappointing, but oh-so-necessary if you want to find that elusive ” life partner. ” And while at times it ‘ s okay to sit back and let your crush take the lead, other times the ” if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself ” approach is the only way to go.

    But how do you actually go about asking your crush on a first date without making things weird? Check out our best tips below!

    Understand That It ‘ s Not Weird

    Call us Captain Obvious, but to successfully ask your crush out on a first date, you first have to understand that making the first move is not weird at all. While some people still abide by the idea that waiting for your crush to act first is the right approach, it really is an archaic (not to mention frustrating) custom. It ‘ s 2018 people, rules are out the window. If you want to ask your crush out, go for it. It ‘ s not at all a reflection of their interest in your (or lack thereof), and it actually puts you in control of the situation, which is the best place to be in the world of dating.

    How to approach your crush

    (Glee via FOX)

    Be Confident

    Confidence is so important for so many things in life, but it ‘ s especially key when asking your crush out for the first time. If you approach your crush feeling self-conscious or awkward, your nerves are bound to rub off on them. They ‘ ll feel like they can ‘ t be themselves, which will only make you even more uncomfortable—basically you ‘ re just setting yourself up for failure. If you approach them with confidence, however, you ‘ ll seem like you know exactly what you ‘ re doing—even if you ‘ re totally lost and confused. Fake it ‘ til ya make it is the motto, so make sure to put your best confident face on before approaching your crush.

    Have a Plan

    We ‘ ve all experienced it before—someone asks you out, but doesn ‘ t really have any plan in place other than a ” well, we can just hang out! ” Ugh, don ‘ t even get us started. It ‘ s annoying and tiresome, and it kind of makes it seem like they don ‘ t want to put any real effort into spending time with you. If you ‘ re going to ask your crush out, it ‘ s best to have at least a semblance of a plan in place beforehand. You can leave a few things open and get their opinion, but spending time planning out an activity for the two of you to do together will make the date much more comfortable. Plus, it will show them that you ‘ re actually interested in spending valuable time with them, which will only be a positive thing in the long run.

    How to approach your crush

    (Riverdale via The CW)

    Pick Something They Want to Do

    While putting a plan for your date in place, it ‘ s also important to pick an activity that your crush would actually want to do. Planning the date strictly around your own interests and preferences will make your crush feel like a) you don ‘ t know them at all or b) you just don ‘ t care about what they like. On the other hand, picking an activity that you know they ‘ ll enjoy will show that you pay attention to the things they ‘ re interested in, will increase their likelihood of saying yes and will put them at ease on the actual date, making it much easier for the two of you to enjoy your time together.

    Be Casual

    Grand romantic gestures are nice in theory, but often pretty creepy in person—especially for a first date. Even if you ‘ ve been crushing on this person forever and you really just want to pour out all your pent-up emotions, this is the first time you ‘ ll truly be hanging out with your crush in a romantic context, so it ‘ s best to play it cool. That means no confessions of your love for them, no elaborate gestures and absolutely no expectations that a single date automatically puts the two of you in a relationship. Give your romance time and space to grow by keeping your first date request casual. A simple text or a nonchalant in-person invite will do, and it will save your pride if they happen to say no.

    How to approach your crush

    (Rise via NBC)

    Just Do It

    At a certain point, all the planning in the world isn ‘ t going to help you ask someone out if you can ‘ t bring yourself to pop the question. Put in the necessary preparation, chat about every last detail with your girlfriends and then take a note from Nike and just do it. After all, the worst they can do is say no, and freaking out about it or continuing to delay it probably isn ‘ t going to change their answer. It ‘ s better to just get it over with—at least you ‘ ll know where you stand with them and you can stop worrying about it.

    Prepare for the Worst

    When it comes to asking out your crush, the best thing you can do is expect the best, but prepare for the worst. If you refuse to acknowledge the fact that your crush might turn you down, you ‘ re going to be totally devastated if that does happen. You shouldn ‘ t expect them to say no—after all, you ‘ re an awesome person with tons of great qualities to offer them—but you should be prepared for it. That way, you can handle it with grace in the moment instead of becoming upset or embarrassed. And remember: rejection is not the worst thing in the world. It ‘ s something you can learn from, and it ‘ ll teach you what to do differently if you ever find yourself in this situation again.

    Are you totally incapable of keeping it together around that special someone? Click HERE for our advice on how to act normal around your crush.

    On the other hand, it could create jealousy and emotional disconnection. Take a step back from the inner desire and crush feelings. Look at this from a logical place in your mind. Decide if the crush at work is more important on a deeper level than your current relationship. Not the fantasy of the crush—not the infatuation or the conversation–but the object him- or herself. Is this person you have a crush on more important than your marriage? Make an honest decision and think before you react. Lastly, a crush at work can damage your career. It can lead to gossip, which results in a damaged reputation. In worse cases, it can lead to a harassment claim and you can suffer penalties. Sexual harassment filings occur against women as well as men, so tread very carefully around your workplace crush. A crush at work can also transform into a wonderful and successful lasting relationship.

    If you are single, approach the object of your crush and look for the tell-tale signs: Does he compliment your clothes, scent or hair? Does he smile or laugh often? It may be that the object of your crush also has a crush on you. There is also the opposite situation, where a co-worker has a crush on you, and you do not have a crush on the co-worker. In this case, be firm but kind in making it very apparent that you are not interested. Do not lead the person on by accepting token gifts, going on dates, or flirting. You do not have to be cold shouldered, simply firm and clear. Be kind and consider the other person’s feelings, but be firm in explaining that the relationship is one of mutual respect based on the fact that you are co-workers and does not go beyond a professional friendship. There is nothing wrong with having feelings of attraction to another person. A crush at work is a normal reaction to the environment.

    It is important to recognize that there is a substantial chance that a crush at work is merely that–an infatuation. This is also called being enamoured, where you have an emotional connection that may not be entirely based on the logic of a lifelong relationship. It is more likely related to the need of all people to feel special and desirable. Recognizing that a crush at work is only an emotional response that is likely not based on a desire for a long-term commitment can help you deal with the crush.

    Last Updated on March 24, 2021

    What happens when your boring workplace hires a hot co-worker? That’s real talk! Isn’t it? But this hot co-worker can do more harm to you than good. Before you start freaking out, let me give you the picture.

    Developing a crush on a co-worker is absolutely normal. Managing daily work with them can be very exciting as you fantasize yourselves with them. It definitely does transform your boring workplace into the most exciting space ever! But the issue begins, when it starts to grab all your attention by distracting you from work. This can give you a really bad time at the office, and the last thing you’d want is to be embarrassed before your crush, wouldn’t you?

    This is exactly why we’ve come up with a few top-notch solutions for how you can handle your co-worker crush like a pro and save your job from drowning. Once you get this right, you will overcome 90% of your problems. This will enable you to maintain an equilibrium between your work and the ‘of course’! ?

    Signs you are crushing on your co-worker

    Sometimes, it is difficult to convince yourself that you are truly into someone and its more difficult when you couldn’t help but crush on your co-worker. This complication can lead you into pondering over the situation all the time, perturbing your office work, and all other important subjects that require your attention. Let us take a peek into the few major signs that signal you about having a crush on your co-worker.

    Too many smiles inside

    Does your heart pop out just immediately after your co-worker crush walks into your cabin? Can you hardly feel your heartbeat? If yes, you know what this means. Congratulations! It’s a crush.

    Nervous like never before?

    Working with your co-worker crush can make you extremely nervous alongside all the drooling. You might feel exceptionally conscious about your looks, the way you sit and how you present yourself in front of them. If you can relate, you know you are into him.

    The constant stare

    Usually, we find it difficult to refocus our eyes from someone who we really feel attracted to. If you just can’t stop staring at them secretly, while at the workplace, it is a major signal that you are crushing on him/her too hard.

    Fantasizing way too often

    The easiest technique to realize whether you really like someone is to consider whether you fantasize them often. If you dream about them, night and day, this is a green-flag here.

    How to handle your co-worker crush?

    We all know we’ve got to do something about this ‘mad, bad, deep and unconditional crush’ on our co-workers but all that collapses when we see them again. Dammit! So HOW on Earth do we manage our co-worker crush without being heartbroken or acting like a dumb? Fear not, we are here to help.

    Ace the art of patience

    Everyone can try to be patient, but when it comes to a crush, (be honest) we all lose it. With this (OH MY GOD THAT’S MY CRUSH) kind of a dancing heart, it can get really difficult to sum up the patience inside you. So, the first thing you’ve really got to do is train your heart and mind to be patient.

    A few simple techniques can help you do this, for instance: Considering that your crush hardly even exists in the room. If you try and ignore staring at them, or making any eye contact, it can help you to calm yourself to a certain extent, eventually guiding you to concentrate on your work better.

    Cut down on the expectation

    Expecting your co-worker crush’s early arrival constantly or wanting them to come and talk to you, can turn out to disappoint you in a number of ways. This will not only show up in the work you deliver but also on the way you feel.

    It is always wise to try and refrain from keeping any type of expectation. In the course of the time, this will also keep you more focused on your work and also give your heart a little bit of space to breathe.

    Don’t spoil the game

    Often in the haste of interacting with your crush, you might simply make a mistake by over texting them or smiling around them too much. Such conduct can complicate your relationship with the co-worker and it might become a do or die situation for you. This may even compel them to interact lesser with you because believe it or not ‘the clingy’ in you is very unattractive.

    ‘The first impression is the last impression.’ So, if you have been trying hard to save your reputation in front of them, don’t spoil the game by overdoing anything or losing your calm.

    Feel the act, don’t act the feel

    It’s okay to feel attracted to someone and have a crush on them. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to keep reciprocating and communicating about your feeling to them. Especially, if it’s your co-worker, you’ve got to go slow.

    Avoid flirting with them, conversing too deep or doing anything that may define your feelings clearly. If you do not control your feelings, you might unintentionally uncover your liking for them in no time.

    It’s always wise to take baby steps while dealing with a co-worker because this also influences your reputation in their eyes. Make sure to keep your feelings to yourself and refrain from acting them out in any way.

    Up your game in excitement

    We know we’ve spoken a lot about the negatives but here’s the good news! Your excitement towards the crush can also be productive in many ways. Wondering how?

    Crushing on someone at work can compel you to dress much better, look more presentable, behave wiser and speak smarter. While speaking during meetings and conferences, you may tend to become more conscious about your conduct thereby behaving more intellectually. This will, of course, help you to build a good impression in the eyes of your co-worker crush but guess what? – it will also help you to strengthen your position in front of other employees and business dignitaries.

    Make sure you enjoy this excitement as long as you can and let it bring you some incredible compliments.

    Don’t let them play on you

    Workplace observes too many competitions between employees and co-workers who are always in the haste to level up for their boss. It’s no big deal so this might happen in your case too.

    In the craziness of crushing on your co-worker, do not ever forget about the underlying competition that may make your crush play on your feelings to derive advantage from you.

    If you really don’t want this to come true, make sure you to refrain from blindfolding yourself in the attraction or allow them to carry you away with cheesy conversations.

    Realize why you CAN’T

    Crushing on someone can make you forget the whole world around you, but that can’t be pardoned in a work environment. Don’t fall for the cue that your heart gives you every now and then that just screams ‘Go and tell him/her everything, right now!’

    Always consider reminding yourself about why you can’t be with them or confess your feelings right away. This will give you a reality check about the environment and the situation.

    Wait for the right time, he/she might be crushing on you too!

    All the best!

    Your co-worker crush may feel like the ‘one and only’ sometimes but this blistering haste can cost a lifetime without a job. If you believe in us and follow our step-by-step guide for how you can handle this crush, there is no doubt about returning victorious. Think about it!

    How to approach your crush

    Whether your crush is one of your best friends, a classmate, a friend of a friend, or someone you’ve never actually met IRL, their DMs are typically a common and safe place to make the first move. Sliding in is the easy part — it’s getting them to respond that can be a bit tricky. It’s a balance between not being too forward and also wanting to immediately grab their attention. And I have to admit, spamming my notifications with likes or just sending me the heart eye emoji will get nothing more than a thank you. It’s the guy that gave me tea recommendations on my Instagram Story about ditching my coffee addiction that got me to open up.

    Instagram Stories not only take the pressure off making the first move, but they also offer an opportunity to make a connection that feels less forced and more friendly. If done correctly, Stories are a way you can turn a public post into a private conversation. Here are a few ways to shoot your shot if you’re feeling bold, or if you’re a little more low-key like me and would rather wait for them to shoot theirs.

    1. The Selfie Post

    As tempted as you are to comment on the selfie, don’t. That’s where most of their DM traffic usually comes from. How will your heart eyes stand out from the rest? You can make a more solid first impression than commenting on their physical appearance (even though that may be what got you here in the first place, because same). Being attentive and thoughtful will get you a lot further.

    2. The Celebration Post

    Sliding up on this post has to be one of the easiest ways to break the ice for your first DM. Whether they’re celebrating a graduation, their birthday, or any other holiday, wish them the best. It’s thoughtful of you that you reached out, but still very casual and light. Plus, the timing is great because they are probably already in a great mood. Simple, yet effective. Keep in mind that not everyone is excited for the holidays or other occasions typically celebrated, so wait for them to post on their story first just to be safe.

    3. Start as Close Friends

    Add your crush to your Close Friends list. It shows that even though you may not know them now, you want them to, quite frankly, be closer to you. Without speaking at all, you’ve said that you trust them with seeing a part of you that not everyone else that follows you can. It’s another subtle way to nudge them into making the first move in the DMs if you aren’t ready to yourself.

    4. The Interactive Post

    Instagram Stories have added a new layer to posting by adding interactive stickers. If sliding in their DMs is still a bit intimidating, participating in their polls, answering their questions, or asking a question yourself is another way to show interest. If you’re still unsure, think about it this way: they’ve already started the conversation and even given a topic. All you have to do is respond.

    5. The Quote Post

    Posting a positive life quote to your story seems to be a daily ritual that many users participate in. If your crush posts a quote, post the same one to show that you resonate or share a similar perspective. This only works if you know your crush is someone who consistently views your Story. If you’re crushing on a follower but still enjoy being the chase, dropping them this hint may be the way to go.

    6. The Song Screenshot

    By posting a screenshot of a song, reposting a favorite singer, and embedding a new song to a post, Stories allow users to express their interests in music. Tell them that you listened to a song for the first time because of their post and enjoyed it. Ask them what they thought about the album they posted last night as soon as it dropped. These posts allow you to build a conversation around something you know for a fact your crush is loving at the moment.

    7. Support Their Work

    In addition to a business page or a promotion post, Instagram users turn to their Stories for additional promo. There are many ways to support their craft besides buying into their business. Slide up on their story to comment on their new blog post or let them know you listened to the latest episode on their podcast. If you’re feeling bold, you can even repost and tag their artwork or business on your own story. Not only are they bound to respond, but it shows that you’re genuinely interested in and supportive of their passions.

    8. The Horoscope Post

    You don’t have to know what your moon rising and sun sign is to slide up on your crush’s horoscope post. Use that to your advantage. Comment on a story and ask if your crush knows anything about your sign. If you’re a little more knowledgeable on the subject, send them a meme about their zodiac sign from one of the many addicting astrology Instagram pages. Getting a laugh out of your crush is a good way to get them feeling comfortable and come out of their shell a little.

    9. The Brunch Boomerang

    If there’s one thing I’ve picked up about brunch, it’s that Instagram eats first. If they didn’t post a boomerang, did the brunch really happen? Ask your crush if the mimosas there are good or, more importantly, if they’re bottomless. Tell them that you’ve been looking for a good breakfast spot and ask for a recommendation. Take notes. This may give you some insight on where your first meet-up should take place.

    10. The Foodie Post

    The video scan of the dinner table may be the best set up to to ask your crush out. Slide up on this post after you and your crush have had a few successful URL encounters. The post itself will be almost identical to the brunch boomerang. The difference is in your approach. Instead of coming in with the intent of starting a conversation for the first time, your goal is to finally take this conversation out of the DMs and on a date. Tell them you know a place similar to the one they posted on their story and suggest going together.

    A Final Reminder

    Despite how Stories have progressed sliding into someone’s DMs, I believe the six emoji automatic reply suggestions are a little too safe. It offers little opportunity for a response. The most you’ll get from the fire flame or heart eyes is a thank you or even worse . . . a tap back response. Remember, the goal is to initiate an authentic conversation naturally that’s worth continuing IRL.

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    I’m a supporter of the idea that love can flourish in any environment, and for a lot of us the gym is a centralized social space concentrated with a lot of crushes. Resting between sets allows for a lot of eye-wandering and reciprocal eye-banging with your gym crush, which when done appropriately can be a successful form of flirting and courtship.

    Just remember, the goal of flirtation and asking someone out is meant to be a compliment, not as a way to make either party feel uncomfortable or mistreated.

    How does one find love at the gym (or anywhere else)? Here’s how to ask out your gym crush:

    1. Interested people like signs of interest

    There is no shame in letting someone know you find them attractive. When done appropriately you are giving someone a compliment when you ask them out or court them. If they are interested, they’ll be happy you took the risk to initiate contact.

    2. Be direct with your gym crush

    Walk up to your gym crush, hit on them and ask them out. You may get a few dates out of it, but more importantly you’ll be proud of yourself, because so few actually take that step. This is a form of empowerment and goal achievement. There is no romantic valor in playing it safe.

    It’s always best to be direct with your gym crush.

    3. Be clear

    You have to use the word “date” when asking someone out. Far too many people use ambiguous terms like “hang out” or “go for coffee,” which leaves all parties unsure what the purpose or framework is for the get-together. Using the word “date” allows all parties to consent, and will give you the confidence of knowing their “yes” is a sign of romantic or sexual interest.

    4. Accept “no”

    Do not keep asking someone out if they turn you down or do not show interest. That’s how you turn a compliment into an assault. If someone says “no,” honor that and politely leave them alone and stop asking. Trying to win someone over shows poor boundaries, lacks empathy and can feel oppressive.

    5. Don’t collapse into shame over a “no”

    You gave them a compliment and you practiced confidence, so you can smile the next time you see them. Don’t feel bad, ignore them or join a new gym. Dating is a process of risk, vulnerability and, at times, being let down. Keep doing it anyway.

    6. Try again

    Keep asking people out. Dating is a numbers game and requires lots of asking-out and let-downs, but it pays off. A potential mate may not always see you as romantic potential until you allow for this possibility by asking them out. Dating requires vulnerability and risk-taking. You don’t know what’s possible until you try.

    ROSENYA FAITH

    While personality and character are what will carry a couple and help them to grow together, attraction initially sparks a romantic relationship. So, when you have the opportunity to use what you’ve got to get your crush’s attention — regardless of whether you’re a size 2 or 12, or you have a six-pack or a tire around the waist — make the most of the opportunity to make a memorable impression and turn the spark of romance into a red hot flame.

    Explore this article

    • Strut Your Stuff
    • Bring Your A-Game
    • Have Fun
    • Enlist Some Help

    1 Strut Your Stuff

    Whether you’re hanging onto a few leftover pounds from winter or you’ve managed to burn them away, you can impress your crush just the same when you take the right approach. You don’t need to have the hottest body on the beach to get her attention; use what you’ve got to its maximum potential. Dress in your most flattering beach attire, stand in front of the mirror and admire the reflection before heading out — strike a few muscle-flaunting poses if it helps.

    2 Bring Your A-Game

    Bring confidence to the beach; walk like a model and make eye contact when you pass your crush to let him know you’re confident in what you’ve got — a far more attractive feature than a tight set of abs. If you have sunglasses on, don’t be afraid to look in his direction once in a while. It might just drive him a little crazy trying to figure out if your eyes are glued to him. Girls — watch out for your makeup. While going au natural is just fine, if you do elect to wear makeup, ensure that it’s waterproof to avoid raccoon eyes when you emerge from the water.

    3 Have Fun

    Don’t spend your entire day at the beach flexing your muscles or sucking in your stomach so much that you look like a stiff soldier. Relax, let loose and show your crush you know how to have a good time. Join in on a game of beach volleyball or rile your group to get one started. If you’re not the sporty type, lay out your towel on the sand as close to your crush as you can, and then focus on enjoying the scenery and the warm summer’s breeze. Remember, your smile can be even more eye-catching than your biceps, so be sure you spend plenty of time showing off your pearly whites.

    4 Enlist Some Help

    If you’re finding that your crush has been too engrossed in his own beach activities, take proactive steps to ensure you get some attention before the day is through. Strike up a brief conversation by asking for help with a task, such as finding a missing volleyball, setting up a shade umbrella or spreading sunscreen on your back — if you’re brave enough to flirt a little. If your crush is part of your group of friends heading to the beach, bring along a blanket and a picnic lunch, and ask him to help you set up. As evening approaches, let it slip that it’s getting chilly outside, and perhaps he’ll light a fire — bylaws permitting — to help warm you up.

    references

    • 1 Current Directions in Psychological Science: Mere Exposure: A Gateway to the Subliminal
    • 2 Self: Rock Your Bikini with These Confidence-Boosting Tips
    • 3 Self-Confidence: The Remarkable Truth of Why a Small Change Can Make a Big Difference; Paul McGee

    About the Author

    Rosenya Faith has been working with children since the age of 16 as a swimming instructor and dance instructor. For more than 14 years she has worked as a recreation and skill development leader, an early childhood educator and a teaching assistant, working in elementary schools and with special needs children between 4 and 11 years of age.