How to apologize to a cat

How do I apologise to a cat / undo accidental actions?

Let’s say, I’m going to the bathroom at night, my cat tries to weave between legs and accidentally got kicked. Or, I’m drinking water, the cat is in the lap, I cough and spill some of that "yucky cold wet waterrr" from the cup (again, accidentally).

I’ve searched through this SE but similar questions deal with hard abuse or traumas, and I’m asking about "undoing" small random events.

Would simply giving a treat be enough? Or would that create some unwanted behavioural connections?

6 Answers 6

I wouldn’t start giving treats for small accidents – what kind of behavior are you trying to reinforce? The cat won’t understand the concept of an “apology” via treats. And if careless weaving results in treats, kitty may end up with receiving more kicks trying to elicit treats from the human who is stumbling to the bathroom at night.

My preferred way to apologize is to show affection, e.g. a quick scratch behind the ears, “fussing” a bit, something like that, then continue as if nothing happened. The less drama you make out of the situation, the less reinforcement of “something bad happened” in the cat.

How to apologize to a cat

I don’t think there are many animals that understand the concept of apology, as a high level concept as such, except for maybe some other advanced primates. MAYBE elephants, dolphins, whales or belugas.

But an apology has fundamental parts which you can communicate. Every animal genus has its own language (some are universal).

What you would want to communicate in this case is: I am not a threat, I’m not looking to fight, I’m friendly. Depending on your relationship to your pet you can also show submission, but people might advise against that for discipline reasons.

Cats don’t understand smiles, but they have an equivalent: Slow blinking. Slow blinking means: We are cool, we are friends. Beyond that you can just physically pet them, use gentle voice.

I advise against treats. Animals are simple brain machines: When X happens, I get a treat. You would encourage them to try to do exactly what they did again to get a treat.

Also, from personal experience I don’t recall a cat ever getting "angry" because you walk into them. They usually know it’s their fault and they don’t care. I don’t think animals ever care about bumping into each other.

How to apologize to a cat

As Stephie and Opcode and Jonathan Wood all said, don’t give a kitty a treat for this: treats act as rewards for the kitty herself doing something good, such as letting you comb out a knot or clean her eye, or doing something you personally think is a good idea. (In Skinner-Psychology terms it’s reinforcement, part of Operant Conditioning.)

It’s difficult to apologize to cats: with dogs, submissive behavior works well (although one must, as Opcode noted, be quite careful here). Some cats understand submissive behavior but it’s generally not productive. Soothing, friendly behavior on your part is good though: slow blinks, petting, or "voice petting", if your cat responds to these.

Cats will mostly shrug off this kind of accident, though the time duration depends on the cat’s personality. Cats that are themselves easily frightened and submissive (shy, retiring, etc) will take longer to recover—but this is kind of tautological, as we define their shyness in terms of how quickly they react to negative feedback.

Most of my cats like to "follow from in front" and I trip over them a lot. They don’t mind, though I do on the stairs! I tell them that if they’re going to follow from in front, they need to keep going. 😀

I keep my shoes off at home, so it’s not so bad for them, but my scared-y cat is scared of shoes (which is wise of her: I can’t feel the stepping-on-tail so easily with the shoes on!).

How to apologize to a cat

Do cats hold grudges? And how long does a cat hold a grudge? If you own a cat, you’ve undoubtedly asked yourself this. Many cat owners are perplexed by their pet’s sudden hostility. The cat’s “hateful” behavior might be attributed to a variety of factors. Let’s see what we can find out together!

Table of Contents

How Long Do Cats Hold Grudges?

Kittens are infamous for having short memories,” researchers say. To put it another way, kittens may lack the ability to carry a grudge because they forget things quickly. According to University of Michigan studies, a cat’s memory may endure up to 16 hours.

Cats are incapable of holding grudges, yet they may experience other feelings, such as happiness or sadness.

If you observe that a cat is acting strangely, pay attention to its activities. When some cats are sad, they prefer to sit alone. Such behavior doesn’t mean the cats resent you, so let them play or sit by themselves. They will return to their regular activities when some time has passed.

The Memory of a Cat

How to apologize to a cat

Cats have two types of memory, similar to humans: working memory and long-term memory.

Working memory

Working memory refers to how much information a person can recall at any given moment. Working memory is not a strong suit for cats, as evidenced by several studies. In such tests, cats are offered a toy and asked to choose it from a variety of toys.

A cat will most likely forget which toy it was shown if there is a delay of more than 30 seconds between the picking procedure and the showing of the cat toy. In this case, most cats are unable to recall the toy, demonstrating that cats lack a decent working memory.

Long Term Memory

Long-term memory refers to the capacity to recall experiences and information from the past.

When it comes to cats and long-term memory, research is mixed. Most online searches will tell you that cats have a 16-hour long-term memory, although this is based on controversial research from 1964.

In recent investigations, cats’ memory lasted for four hours up to two days. That is a large range, demonstrating that different elements are at play when it comes to a cat’s long-term memory.

Furthermore, a cat’s long-term memory varies greatly depending on the breed, age, and environment.

Is My Cat Mad at Me?

Cats are relatively simple to irritate, especially when you behave against their wishes. Cats communicate clearly through their body language, which might appear random. As a pet owner, you must be aware of these indicators. The following are some of the most common signs your cats are mad at you:

  • The cat hiding or leaving when you come into the room
  • A tail that swishes quickly, especially when held low
  • Flat ears that press low against the skull
  • The cat stares at you with dilated pupils.
  • The tail is puffed out, and the back is arched.
  • Hissing or growling
  • Using paws to swipe

Give your cat some space if you see these actions. Remove yourself from the situation and let your cat wind down. Take this opportunity to consider why your cat is irritated with you. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake again.

What Did I Do to Irritate My Cat?

How to apologize to a cat

It’s impossible to figure out how a cat thinks. You’re nearly guaranteed to irritate your cat at some point. That is why forming a relationship is so crucial. If your cat has faith in you, it will most likely chill off sooner.

Don’t think that senior cats become calm as they get older. In reality, older cats are more easily enraged than younger cats. Senior cats are likely concealing a variety of age-related aches and problems. They may get irritable as a result of this. You may annoy your cat in a variety of ways, including:

  • Handling without permission, since some cats despite being lifted up
  • Touching sensitive areas of the body, such as the belly or paw pads
  • Causing bodily discomfort, such as walking on the tail by mistake
  • Petting to the point of exhaustion
  • Relocating furniture
  • Uninvited entry into a cat’s territory
  • Creating needless commotion
  • Waking up a sleeping cat
  • Failure to clean the litter box
  • Leaving the cat alone for extended periods
  • A lack of consistency in terms of play or feeding times
  • A lack of stimulation
  • Turning a blind eye to cries for help
  • Providing care and attention to other animals

Your cat may also be frustrated due to no fault of your own. Unfortunately, you may be the target of your cat’s rage.

Are Cats Forgiving or Not?

Cats don’t bear grudges and are quick to forgive and forget little mishaps. They seek to forgive human faults for the sake of self-preservation.

Make it easy for your cat to forgive by creating a warm, comfortable atmosphere for him. A calm, confident cat will have few reasons to become enraged. When combined with your self-control, this will quickly lead to the restoration of a peaceful living situation.

What Is the Best Way to Apologize if Cats Hold Grudges?

If your cats are angry or have a grudge against you, it will reflect in their behavior. As a cat owner, you must figure out why this is happening. Fix the problems when you’ve identified them. However, this does not imply things will return to normal instantly.

When cats come to your lap, cuddle them and speak to them in a friendly tone to help them feel normal.

Remember that if you treat a feline rudely and harshly, they may become offended or harbor grudges against you. As a result, while dealing with cats, treat them as if they were your children.

Final Thoughts

Above is the response to the question, “How long does a cat hold a grudge?” Cats don’t carry grudges for lengthy periods, yet they can be irritable. There are a variety of explanations for cats’ antagonistic behavior.

If you own a cat, you should ensure that your actions are not the problem. If you love your cats, you’ll be able to make them happy in any scenario.

Cat’s can be a pain in the ass, and most likely, they will break items that are dear to you or ruin furniture. They could also hurt you by scratching you or annoy you with their undesirable behavior. But because you have a bond that makes you and your pet a family. Have you also wondered if they feel sorry for all the mess they’ve made? And if they do, how do cats say sorry?

Cat’s say sorry by being affectionate & loving to you. They will be approaching you, head rubbing, cuddling, or purring you when they feel that you are already calmed and relaxed. They could also initiate playtime or speak with you. Your feline friend wants to feel that you still adore and love them. In addition, they want you to be happy and stress-free.

How to apologize to a cat

Do Cats Feel Guilty?

Cat’s don’t feel guilty like how guilt means on Humans. Your feline friend isn’t just wired that way. But why do they have a look on their face as if they are guilty of what they did?

The look on their face is probably out of fear or sadness. But, there may be a time before that your fur baby has caused damage. For instance, they have knocked out a precious vase in your living room, and you found out that it is your cats doing. So, you reprimanded your cat, you raised your voice, and you started punishing them. The fear of that moment may have lingered on their system. When a similar thing happens, they will remember all the punishment that makes them think it is about to come due to their doing.

If you think that they are guilty of what they did, then it’s not. Your feline pet is more likely afraid of all the yelling and the punishment.

4 Ways Cat Apologize to Their Owners

Here are ways a cat will show you when they want to apologize and make up for all the clumsiness and mess they have caused in your house.

Please note that the moment you are still furious, the fastest move they could do is to run away and hide from you. A cat will do this, primarily if they are not used to your angry self.

1. Approach You

The best thing your cat can do is to approach you lovingly. Your feline friend could slowly sit beside you and just be with you. Most likely, they will test the water first if you are still mad at them or not.

They could also talk to you, especially if they are cats that are vocal and expressive in their emotions. You may not understand the constant meow, but they will try to communicate with you. Usually, cats get confused with things in their owner’s mood. One thing for sure is that they want to make their owners smile and feel happy again.

2. Head Rubbing

Another thing a cat shows that they are sorry is through head rubbing. You are probably accustomed to this act, especially if your cat is the sweetest cat of all. They will rub your legs, hands, feet, or any parts of your body.

If your cat started to do that after being away because of what they’ve done, it would be helpful if you don’t shoo them out, but you validate the act through patting their heads accompanied by praises that they used to hear.

3. Purring

When a dog wags its tails, a cat can do purring as well. Purring is a slow vocalization on cats; the soothing soft voice means they are happy and content. Thus, when a cat comes purring at you, most likely they want to say sorry after the terrible things they’ve done.

4. Blinking Slowly

Some say that Cat blinking slowly is a sign of love; others say it is equivalent to a cat’s kiss. It may be true or not; the meaning of them blinking at you slowly is because they trust you. Therefore, if they have done something wrong and go near you flashing, they show affection and love. Better cuddle them in return because accidents happen all the time.

Now, you know how a cat says they are sorry in the cutest possible way. But, you should also know the things that an average person does because it is in their nature. Therefore, you should give them understanding and love because, above all, they are just cats and not humans.

How to apologize to a cat

Ordinary Cat Acts You Shouldn’t Be Mad About

1. Running at Night

Do you also feel annoyed with your cat always running at night? Instead of getting mad, you have to let this past because they are probably chasing rats, and it’s expected that they will roam around the house.

2. Furniture Scratching

Cat’s have a way of communicating with other cats through scent and scratches. Most likely, they will leave their mark or territory by doing it. Yes, it could be annoying, especially if you love wood furniture in the house, but you can buy a woodblock wherein you will have to train your cat to do scratches there instead of your wood furniture.

3. Can’t be Left Alone

You can’t leave some cats alone; research on the cat’s breed first before buying one because most probably they are cat breeds that can’t be alone and will need constant attention from their owners.

If you are left alone in the house, they will cause havoc in your home. Thus, to avoid this, give your cat company at home or, better yet, choose cats that are independent and introverted.

How to apologize to a cat

Cats may be uncaring animals, especially at times that they feel energetic and alive. Usually, if they feel hype and active, they will forget that they are in your loving home and will do stuff that can mess your house. To keep an intact relationship, be receptive to their sweet sorry and give them your most adorable smile. Cuddle them and make them feel loved. In addition, set some disciplinary rules for your cat. It takes a lot of training and patience, but at least you will have a disciplined cat at home.

How to apologize to a cat

For most people, the question of “how do cats apologise” is easy to answer: they don’t! They knock our picture frames off the shelves. They kick litter out of the box seemingly on purpose. If we leave them overnight with a cat-loving Pet Sitter, we get reports of them zooming around the house at 3am. As this article is being written, a cat is unapologetically trying to sit on the keyboard.

It seems they are simply incapable of apologies.

At least that’s what we all thought. But as it turns out, science shows us that cats are much more complex and emotionally attuned than we give them credit for. They may not say sorry the same way a human would. But they do apologise, in their own way. And once you learn “how do cats apologise,” maybe you won’t be quite so angry about them for looking you straight in the eye while they scratch up your furniture.

How to apologize to a cat

“Uhhhhh, hooman? I may have messed up…”

First of all, are cats capable of apologising?

It can seem like cats live in their own little world. We assume that in their mind, they rule the house. You’re simply a servant that gives them their food and cleans out their litter box. But, research of cat behaviour tells us that’s not totally true.

On the one hand, cats are self-sustaining and territorial. Give a cat a safe place to live and the opportunity to hunt and they don’t need to have a human around. But that doesn’t mean that cats are unable to form strong emotional bonds. According to International Cat Care, females in feral colonies will groom each other and care for kittens communally. They may hunt alone, but many chose to live together in social groups.

Interestingly, fights and aggression within feral colonies are quite rare. Cats may not have much of a need to apologise because they don’t tend to anger the cats within their colony.

When we bring cats into our homes, we have the potential of creating the social group that is common in a feral colony. If we invest time in bonding exercises and general cuddles, our fur babies may see us as part of their social group. If your cat is very social and secure in their territory and relationship with their Owners, they may warm up more easily to cat-loving Pet Sitters, as well.

When you get angry at your cat, on the other hand, they get scared and stressed out. All they want is for things to go back to normal. But do they apologise? Well, it’s probably more likely that your cat just wants to make sure that they can still feel safe in their social group. They’re not admitting guilt, but they’re likely testing the waters to make sure you’re still friends.

So when they want to make things right, how do cats apologise?

Now, in the heat of the argument, your cat’s first reaction is likely going to be to run away. They may hide or go to a place in the room where they feel safe. You’ll also notice them staring at you. A lot of owners mistake this as defiance in their cat, as if their cat is saying to them, “Yes, I did that, and I don’t care.” But it’s more likely that your feline friend is trying to read the situation. Only when you’re calm will they be able to relax as well.

When things cool off, that’s when you’re going to see “apologising” behaviour. Every cat is different, but there are a few feline behaviours that may be your cat’s way of saying they’d like to patch things up. They include,

  • Approaching you (it’s a little gesture, but it means they feel safe)
  • Head butting and rubbing
  • Purring
  • Blinking slowly

It’s impossible to say how long it will take for your cat to come around. But when they do, validate it! Only with an intact relationship will you be able to correct the behaviour that made you angry in the first place.

Perhaps more important than asking “how do cats apologise,” is asking ourselves, “why should they?”

At this point, a few things are clear. Cats don’t feel guilt. They do feel connected to us. And there are certain behaviours that show us they still think of us as part of their social group. And now that you’ve read this far to find out “how do cats apologise,” it might be time to ask yourself why you expected them to in the first place.

If your cat is peeing in the house, pooping outside the litter box, scratching up the furniture, or causing some other widespread chaos in your home, there’s a reason. Some behaviours are instinctual, like sharpening their claws and waking you up at 4am. Others are cries for help, like pooping outside the litter box because it’s dirty or the litter is bothering their paws.

When you learn about the behaviours of your cat, you’ll be able to address issues and make your home more cat-friendly. We’ve written articles about how to stop your cat from scratching the furniture and how to convince your cat to love you so that the bond between the two of you is stronger. Do more research about your cat’s unique behaviours to see if there’s anything you can do to make them feel more comfortable.

Overall, your cat wants to be on good terms with you. If you can compromise a little bit for your cat, there will be far fewer reasons for them to be apologising to you.

I’ve been giving We Rule a try on my iPhone. Recently though, I’ve been having connection problems, with the game being slow to load and play, and sometimes unavailable. Yes, all online services have issues sometimes, but this was getting ridiculous.

I was just about ready to uninstall it when I received a perfectly timed email from ngmoco, the developer of the game.

It was a great example of how to apologize to your customers for service problems, and frankly, kept me as a customer. Here’s why.

Firstly, although I only discovered this once I had read to the bottom, I really appreciated that the email had come directly from ngmoco’s CEO, Neil.

I also appreciated his honesty in describing the issues that were causing the connectivity issues:

…we underestimated the number of people that would play the game, the number of social connections that they would have, the number of push messages that would be sent, the number of times that they would play per day and the number of minutes that they would play for.

Simply put, ‘we didn’t expect the game to be as successful as it’s been.’

I liked how the steps to resolve the issues were outlined and the urgency with which they were being implemented:

…we’re working around the clock to scale our physical infrastructure and we’re also in the process of finishing a new round of changes to both the We Rule and Plus+ servers, as well as an update to the We Rule App…

Lastly, it was heartening to learn that not only were service issues being addressed but new features were also being brought online:

We’re going to be rolling out new content on a fairly regular cadence over the course of the game’s life and we have enhancements lined up for many many months to come.

As a customer, the first part of this email saved me from leaving and the last part aroused my interest enough to stay around for the foreseeable future in order to see how the game evolves. Nice job, Neil.

#AD Family game night is always a great way to have fun as a family. No matter what age, sitting down to a board game together puts everyone on the same page. We have some board game favorites at our house that we play over and over. When shopping at Walmart, I spotted a fun twist that I knew my family would love: pet-themed games! This post is sponsored by Hasbro, but all opinions are my own.

How to apologize to a cat

Pet Themed Games For Family Game Night

We have a few family pets- including a cat and a dog! They get along pretty well- most of the time! So I picked up two pet themed games – Monopoly Crazy for Cats and SORRY! Pets Behaving Badly (each sold separately). My daughter really is crazy for cats so I knew she would like that one. Plus, we already love Monopoly and the SORRY! game, so I figured these would be instant hits with a fun twist. Turns out, our pets had fun checking out the games too!

How to apologize to a cat

SORRY! Pets Behaving Badly

SORRY! Pets Behaving Badly also brings all the original elements of the Sorry game but includes some funny twists. Her’s how to play the Sorry board game.

Objective: Oops! You and your furry and feathered friends have trashed the house. Be the first to hide before your human gets home- just watch out for poops and don’t get busted! Get all four of your pawns home first to win!

Sorry Pets Behaving Badly Rules

  1. Each player takes 4 pawns of one color and places them on the matching color Start area.
  2. Each player takes all 3 Poop Tokens in their color and places the tokens in front of them.
  3. Shuffle both decks of cards and place them face down in the center of the board.
  4. Youngest player goes first. Play passes to the left.

Play! On your turn:

  1. Draw a card from the SORRY! deck and follow the instructions on the card.
  2. Place the card face up in a discard pile at thee side of the gameboard.
  3. If you run out of SORRY! cards to draw, reshuffle the discard pile and place it face down in the center of the board.

Any forward-moving card can move a pawn out of its START space.

Pawns move clockwise around the board, unless a card instructs them otherwise.

Each turn you get to draw a card from the SORRY! game deck. If you land on an Oops! space, you can draw an Oops! card, which are silly little bonuses like “Yes, I did it. He was looking at me funny.” When you get three Oops cards, you can move one of your pawns directly home!

A #2 SORRY! game card, means you may place one of your poop tokens on the board underneath one of your pawns and then move your pawn forward two spaces, leaving the token in place. If someone else lands on your poop token, they pawn must go back to the START space!

Pet lovers are sure to enjoy all the fun twists in these versions of the original games.

How to apologize to a cat

Monopoly Crazy for Cats

Almost everyone is familiar with Monopoly and it is always a fun game. Monopoly Crazy for Cats brings all the elements you love, but they really change it up quite a bit too!

How To Win: Instead of getting the most money, you are trying to collect the most cats.

Set up is nice and easy as each player starts with 5 single-cat coins and 1 5-cat coin (so a total of 10 cats).

The character tokens are straight from the Crazy World of Cats and each has a unique ability.

How to apologize to a cat

There is also a Purr Power Die with fun powers like the Toy Mouse that will make any player drop 3 cats or the Fish Bowl that allows you to collect 3 cats from the shelter.

When you pass go, you trigger a cat fight to see if you can beat the breeder and get the bonus.

The game ends immediately when the final cat fight is over. The player with the highest cat score wins. Add up the cats from your property cards, cat fight cards, and cat coins. This definitive game ending comes pretty quickly so this version on Monopoly seems to take around 30 minutes to 1 hour for us.

How to apologize to a cat

Where To Get These Fun Pet Games

These fun pet themed games can be found at Walmart. You can purchase these Pet-Themed and other assorted games in-store (look for them on an endcap!) or online at

Your family is sure to love these pet games for at-home entertainment!
Parents use the links to find the games! &

We want to see your family and YOUR PETS! Share your pictures with us by using #familyfocusblog and #HasbroGaming. What do you do to make your game nights special?

First, correct them with a firm ‘no’, take them to another area, and initiate play. Remember, cats do not understand punishment. Rewarding them when they behave (even when they are not displaying undesirable behavior) will encourage your cat to come to you and listen rather than avoiding you with fear.

How do you discipline a cat that won't listen?

  1. You do not need more than a loud, “No” when your cat misbehaves. Avoid screaming, as this can upset your cat. .
  2. If your cat stops the behavior when you ask, reward it with treats, a toy, or praise.
  3. If your cat does not listen when you say “No,” try adding a small clap as well.

How do I make my cat obedient?

Keep training sessions short—cats have short attention spans and can get bored fast. Focus on one command at a time and move on to the next when she’s mastered the first. Practice the commands in different areas of the house so that she gets used to responding to you in different situations.

Can I hiss at my cat?

You should not hiss at your cat as it will scare the little pet and will eventually scared of coming in front of you. Movement, eye contact, tail and head bumps, and hissing are all ways cats communicate. When you mimic your cat’s language, they’ll notice when they’re doing anything wrong sooner.

How do I say sorry to my cat?

You can just say “sorry [cat’s name]” in a sweet/apologetic voice and pet them gently on a spot they like.

28 related questions found

Is it OK to spray a cat with water?

Spraying cats with water from a squirt bottle is not a reinforcement; it’s a punishment. Giving your cat a choice of ways to express his behavioral needs and then rewarding his use of the choice you prefer is the best way to encourage your cat’s “good” behavior.

What does Scruffing a cat mean?

‘Scruffing’ of a cat is a term used to describe restraining a cat by firmly gripping the loose skin at the back of the cat’s neck – this is sometimes accompanied by lifting the cat up or heavily restraining the cat in other ways.

What happens if you punish a cat?

Cats are already intolerant of human forms of punishment, but physically dominating a cat will break your bond with her. Never hold down, shake or hit your cat. Physically harming your cat can actually make the situation worse and cause her to lash out or become withdrawn.

How do I show dominance over my cat?

When dominating a cat, don’t be rude to the cat. Don’t mock the cat while doing it. Just be firm and loving as a cat-mom, and you will get across the message that the cat’s not rejected. Time, patience, honesty, confidence and consistency are the best ways to establish enough trust that you can dominate a cat.

Do cats like being held like babies?

Cats that have been handled from when they were a kitten and enjoyed being picked up are more likely to enjoy being carried. Some cats love to be babied. While it’s rare to find a cat that allows itself to be babied by its owner, these cats do exist.

How do you know if your cat hates you?

  • Their tail is horizontal. A low-hanging tail isn’t a good sign. .
  • They keep hiding from you. .
  • They bite. .
  • They walk away from you. .
  • They hiss at you. .
  • They’re friendly to everyone else except you.

How do you defend yourself against a cat?

Put anything you have in your hands, such as a bag or jacket, in front of you to block the cat as much as possible. Use your arms to protect vulnerable places on your face and neck. Get away from the cat as quickly as possible and run away. Running away is often the best way to avoid injury, but the cat may chase you.

Should I spray my cat for meowing?

Hitting, shouting, and spraying cats with water rarely work to quiet a meowing cat in the long run, but all those actions will make your cat distrust or even dislike you. Don’t give in. If your cat is used to getting what they want from meowing, they are going to meow more, and louder, when it quits working.

Should I headbutt my cat back?

Cats use the scent glands located on their cheeks to mark their territory. It lets other animals know that territory has already been claimed, and it also makes the area seem more safe and comforting to the cat. It’s important to never confuse headbutting with head pressing.

Do cats say sorry?

But as it turns out, science shows us that cats are much more complex and emotionally attuned than we give them credit for. They may not say sorry the same way a human would. But they do apologise, in their own way.

Will cats forgive abuse?

Cats don’t hold grudges and will quickly forgive and forget one-off incidents. They want to forgive human transgressions as an act of self-preservation, as much as anything else. Make this easier for your cat by providing a welcoming, comforting environment.

What to do if your cat hisses at you?

  1. Give him space. Do not try to hold your cat or comfort him.
  2. Let your cat feel secure. Do not stare at him. .
  3. Give your cat time. Cats may take hours to calm down, not minutes.
  4. When he is calm, coax your cat out with food and/or catnip.

Do cats hold a grudge?

Cats don’t hold grudges like humans do because they don’t have the same spectrum of emotions as humans. Instead, cats associate certain actions and behaviors with bad events and good events. Based on this association, they react differently. Many cat behaviors remain mysteries, and their memory is no different.

Why does my cat randomly meow and bite me?

Cats communicate with people in many different ways, and biting is one of them. The main reason cats bite is when they’re uncomfortable while being pet. If this happens, you should stop petting the cat and slowly move your hand away.

What do cats hate the most?

Citrus: Just like their canine counterparts, cats hate oranges, lemons, limes and the like. Some cat repellents even use these smells to help keep cats away. Banana: We know the peels can be pungent and cats find this to be especially true. Leaving one out is a sure way to keep a cat out of the room.

How do you gain a cat's trust?

  1. Stick to a routine with your cat. .
  2. Minimize noise and other stressors. .
  3. Use a soft, reassuring tone of voice. .
  4. Give your cat their own space. .
  5. If your cat reacts by running away, that’s okay. .
  6. Play with them often. .
  7. Learn more about feline body language.

Do cats pick a favorite person?

In a multi-human household, it seems that cats will choose one family member they want to spend more of their time with. According to a study done by the nutrition company, Canadae, they discovered that the person who makes the most effort is the favorite.

Is it OK to hold a cat by its neck?

Scruffing removes the option to retreat and a sense of control for the cat, which commonly results in an escalation of stress, fear, and anxiety. Lifting a cat or suspending their body weight by the scruff is unnecessary and could be painful.

Do cats like music?

Cats of all ages will appreciate soothing sounds, whether classical music, nature sounds or music created specifically for them.

Sometimes a cat will die at home either due to a long-standing medical condition or unexpected causes (trauma, toxicosis, or an acute medical event). We take look at how pet owners can evaluate a cat to determine if it has passed.

If you do think your cat has passed away, I always recommend a consultation with a veterinarian for confirmation.

How to check if a cat has died

Loss of muscle control The muscles which control the bowels and bladder loosen which can cause urination and defecation. Sometimes the muscles will twitch for up to ten minutes after death.
Eyes The eyes are open and the pupils remain dilated/large (see image above) and fixed even in response to light.The cornea (the transparent layer forming the front of the eye) begins to lose its transparency around two hours after death.

Corneal reflex refers to the involuntary blinking of the eyelids due to stimulation of the cornea. Use a q tip or cotton bud to gently make contact with the surface of the eye. If there’s no blink reflex, the cat has passed.

Frequently asked questions

What do you do if you find a dead cat?

  • If the cat is on the road, move to the side of the road if it is safe to do so to prevent further trauma
  • Check for a collar and name tag
  • Transport to a local veterinary practice or animal shelter who will be able to scan the cat for a microchip
  • If it is not possible to transport the cat, leave it in a safe place and knock on doors around the area the cat has been found
  • Post on local Facebook pages or community noticeboards with a description of the cat

How long does it take a dead cat to become stiff?

Rigor mortis (stiffness of the muscles) occurs 3-4 hours after death and lasts approximately 12 hours.

Can cats sense their own death?

Cats probably can’t sense their own death but they do know that they feel extremely unwell which is why it is common for them to hide. This instinct is hardwired and serves to evade detection from opportunistic predators. Sometimes a cat will die while hiding which leads pet owners to believe the cat knew he or she was dying.

Can a cat be dead but still breathing?

No, once a cat has died, the heart and respiration stops. If the cat is still breathing, he is still alive. Shock looks remarkably like death and requires emergency care.

What to do with a dead cat at home?

Pet owners have several options, home burial, burial in a pet cemetery or cremation. If you choose to bury a cat at home, check with local councils and landlords (if renting) before you go ahead.

How to apologize to a cat

As husbands, as soon as our wives start to tell us anything that we think we might be in trouble for, we often start saying I’m sorry, even before hearing what we need to apologize about specifically.

I know I do this. After I start making the rapid fight-or-flight utterance, Amy has asked me, “What are you sorry for?” I stand there looking at her like a Spelling Bee contestant who just got the word he didn’t know how to spell.

(Sometimes wives do use this method of saying I’m sorry to their husbands, as well.)

Our spouse wants a meaningful apology that addresses our actions and expresses sorrowful empathy. It’s not just the action or lack-of action for which they want to hear an apology; it’s them gaining a sense we grasp how it made them feel.

So here it is–The Marriage Meeting’s proper apology tip. Of course, these helpful phrases can’t just be a formula. You have to make a sincere apology.

4 Simple Steps To Say I’m Sorry to Your Spouse

1. I am sorry for [insert action or lack of action].

It is important to acknowledge the specific action that necessitates the apology. This differentiates it from a blanketed, one-size-fits-all, generic apology. When we state the specific action (or lack of action) or something we said or should have said, our wife or husband feels heard. You are not saying, “I am a bad husband” or “I am a bad wife.” Those labels aren’t healthy. You are saying, “This specific incident hurt you or upset you, and I never want to hurt you.” (Because you already have the same team mindset from reading our other blog, correct?)

2. It was wrong because…

We need to go one layer deeper than the action itself. We need to state, “I am aware that I did emotional damage via the action and understand why that action (or lack of) wounded you emotionally.” It shows you accept responsibility and deeply regret hurting them.

Avoid any attempt to dodge blame. Accept full responsibility for your part of the issue. Don’t gaslight or say things like, “you made me” or “I had to.” You are the owner of your actions.

3. In the future, I will try to…

No one likes to get hurt repeatedly–especially hurt repeatedly in the same manner. Sharing how, to your best effort, you will act in the future when a similar situation arises helps your spouse know you have a proactive plan in your mind to avoid making the same mistake. It also allows your husband or wife to express whether that future response would meet their expectations (Question 1 in The Marriage Meeting). As the apologizer, this also makes life better for you. You can now be confident you know what to do to satisfy your spouse’s expectations in that given situation.

Avoid over-promising. You don’t want to promise something that you know is not in your power to enact or that is not in line with your own long-term expectations. Avoid the temptation to appease your spouse in this way, especially if you tend to dislike confrontation.

As an oversimplified example, if you forgot to do the dishes when it’s your turn, you shouldn’t say, “Every time I see a single dish in the sink, I’ll wash it.” That isn’t realistic or fair.

4. Will you please forgive me?

Apologizing is an initiative action only. You cannot control how your wife or husband responds. The goal is not just to be forgiven. Reconciliation needs to happen. Avoid the attempt to manipulate them into giving the response you want to hear. Allow for grace and space. Immediate forgiveness is nice, but it may take them a bit of time to be able to answer this question in the affirmative. In serious offense, rebuilding trust can take time.

If your spouse answers, “No,” ask them if they need time to process it and state that you are open to further discussion when they are ready. At times, a deeper discussion of steps 1-3 is needed, especially if this is a frequently repeated mistake. Have a conversation about unresolved issues related to the offense.

Final Thoughts on Saying I’m Sorry

We want you to have a great marriage. Offering a heartfelt apology has the immense power to allow your spouse to see into your heart. Remember, intimacy can be defined as “into-me-see.” Learning to say sorry to your wife or husband shows you see into their heart and offers a view into your own regret over hurting them. Apologizing will always provide a return on investment. We are all human and will make mistakes. Marriage is a great place to practice humility. Say sorry to your wife or husband when you offend them, but not just I’m sorry. Give them a full apology using the steps above.

Leave a comment if you have other marriage advice regarding apologizing. We’d love to hear your insights.

Everyday happenings of a Cat Lady who has ruined her cat’s life by having kids.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Don’t Be Wasteful

Stitch was rather disgusted with me. No joke he gave me the look of death. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t saved any for him as he thinks I ought to do with every can of tuna I open. It also could have been a “How dare you waste tune Mother! How dare you be so wasteful! There are starving cats out there and one of them is me!”

He ran over to the garbage can, before Gordita knew what had happened, and helped clean it off.

Friday, January 11, 2013

There Are Starving Cats Out There

I’m not sure how many of you might have heard the “Eat your food because there are starving kids out there in the world” speech from your parents. I don’t recall hearing it too often. My dad used to tell us about how my Grandma would tell him he had better eat his food or she would send it to the starving kids in the Philippines. As a parent I’ve used it on my kids. Mainly because I want them to know that they really ought to be thankful for the opportunity to have three well-rounded meals each day. There are far too many children living in poverty and going without consistent, nutritious meals to not be thankful for what you have.

The other day I found myself giving the speech to my cat. By “my cat” I mean Stitch. Stitch is a grazer when it comes to eating, and Gordita is still on the “I will eat all of my food and whatever Stitch hasn’t” diet. To try and save on food I have been feeding them a very small amount three times a day. Not only does this save on food but it has reduced both the number of times Gordita pukes up her food from gorging on it too fast, and the number of times that she’s been given an opportunity to scarf down whatever Stitch has left in his bowl.

However, since it is a smaller amount Stitch swears he is starving. I’ve tried feeding him bigger amounts and giving Gordita less, and when I have he has left the extra kibble in his bowl for her. I’ve even fed him extra wet cat food since Gordita won’t touch the stuff. I think she is worried it will go to her hips. And despite my attempts to make him feel like he’s getting more or to even give him more he runs around with wide, hungry eyes begging for food.

I’ve even caught him sleeping curled up around the food canister on top of the dryer a few times. Each time he wakes up he sits up next to the food begging me with those “feed me I’m starving” eyes. I swear he has even tried the “poor, cute, little me” Puss in Boots from Shrek eyes. None of these looks, unfortunately for him, work on me.

Back to the point, about an hour after feeding the cats the other morning Stitch came running up to me as I was grinding up my coffee beans. He flashed me the eyes. Before I could stop myself I found myself lecturing him about how “You should be thankful that you get any food. There are hundreds of starving kitties out there who don’t even get a bite of kibble and you get at least three little cups a day.” I even had the hand on my hip as I wagged my finger at him in tune to the lecture.

I’m pretty sure he rolled his eyes as me as he walked away. I’m pretty sure he was muttering a string of obscenities about what a crazy, stupid human I was as he sulked on the couch. Something about how I must think I’m the grand queen talking to him like that. About how I’m lucky I’m the one that rescued him or he would have gone all Puss In Boots on me. I’m also pretty sure that my lecture went in one kitty ear and out the other.

No matter what type of cat you have or what her personality is like, mutual trust in each other must be learned so that you can both enjoy a happy, healthy, relationship. Whether your cat is shy or fearful, bold or aggressive, there are things you should do to foster her confidence and faith in you. It’s much easier to build your cat’s trust from the get-go then to try to re-build it after you’ve broken it; however, cats are often forgiving creatures and they don’t hold grudges (and they never act out of revenge or spite – cat’s just don’t think that way). With time, you can improve (or repair) the relationship with your cat to one of comfort, ease, and predictability. Here are a few things to keep in mind when trying to build your cat’s trust:

  • Respect your cat’s space. Your cat will need some time to settle in if she’s new to the home; some take longer than others to do this. Let your cat find comfortable spots to hang out, and don’t invade those spaces. This general rule will continue even after she becomes comfortable in her home. Cats enjoy their independence and will let you know when they would like your attention (or give you clues as to when they don’t want it, if you are a space-invader!).
  • Observe body language. Your cat will communicate first and foremost with her body language (see cartoon below). Respect what she is telling you. Is she crouched away from you or is her body oriented towards you and more welcoming? Is she flicking her tail as a sign of annoyance, or is it relaxed? Pay attention to her ear positions, how wide her eyes are, and body position.
  • Let your cat come to you. Don’t force a friendship – let your cat decide how comfortable she is and when she wants to interact with you (although you can do some things to encourage interactions, see below). Cats learn a lot just through observation, so even though you may not be directly interacting with her, she’s learning a lot about you if she’s simply watching you from a window perch or the couch. Let her watch and learn about your movements, smells, and sounds!
  • Learn your cat’s limits to being touched. Take a gradual approach to learning where and how your cat likes to be touched. Never poke or tease when attempting to touch or pet your cat; always use predictable movements. Be aware of her body language to learn where and how your cat likes to be stroked or petted. If your cat has petting aggression, try to limit petting sessions both in terms of where you pet her and for how long.
  • Give your cat choices and respect the choice she ends up making. Whether it’s a place to nap or perch, or an opportunity to play (or not), letting your cat decide what she wants to do will build her confidence and help her learn that you are not going to force her to do anything. Cats become stressed when they have no control over their environment (that’s one reason why animal shelters can be so difficult for them), and enjoy having choices about when, what, where, how, and who to interact with. It’s no fun when someone constantly tries to control what you’re doing, so why would your cat enjoy that?
  • Be predictable. Try to move and speak in ways that won’t surprise or startle your cat. Don’t lunge suddenly or stomp on the floor, and try to keep a steady, calm voice. This applies to all times, not just when you’re directly interacting with your cat. It can be difficult if you have children or other pets (DOGS) in the house, but if you have a shy kitty, this could be important. Some cats are very easy-going and don’t really care what’s going on around them and can pretty much nap through anything. But with a more sensitive kitty, this is a good opportunity to teach children about empathy and the needs of others.
  • Decide how to make each interaction a positive one for your cat. You have control over whether or not the interactions you have with your cat will be positive or negative. Play-time can be really fun for both of you, for example, but be careful – what you might think is playing might be interpreted as aggressive teasing or taunting by your cat. Always use toys to play, and let her catch the toy occasionally. Before interacting with a particularly sensitive cat, really try to think about what you can do to make that interaction positive so that you build your cat’s trust. Take every opportunity you can to create a positive association with you!
  • Use positive reinforcement to reward positive interactions. You can use treats, a soothing voice, play, or even petting (if she likes it) to reward any good behavior. Further, you can use any of these things to encourage your kitty to do something (like coming out of a hiding spot, for example)…but respect her decision to not do something as well (just don’t provide the reward). Positive reinforcement, given consistently, can be a great way to build your cat’s trust and communicate that she’s done something good. It’s also a great way to train your cat to do anything, including tricks…your kitty will appreciate the mental stimulation, and it will give you another great way to bond with her.

Here’s a graphic that I love, from Catsu. Perhaps it will help you interpret some of your kitty’s body language in terms of her levels of trust!

How to apologize to a cat

Image by A word of caution – an exposed belly is NOT necessarily an invitation for tummy rubs! It’s an indicator of trust, above all.

How to apologize to a cat

Marci Koski

Dr. Marci is a certified feline behavior and training consultant, with specialized and advanced certificates in Feline Training and Behavior. She started Feline Behavior Solutions to keep cats in homes and out of shelters as the result of treatable behavior issues. She believes that the number of cats in shelters can be greatly reduced if guardians better understand cat behavior, and learn how to work with their cats to encourage desired behaviors instead of unwanted ones. Dr. Marci’s family includes her four feline companions and her very patient, understanding, and supportive husband.

How to apologize to a cat

We know cats recognize their own names. We also know cats rarely vocalize when they hang out with each other but vocalize often around humans as a way to communicate wants and needs. When it comes to responding to your feline—or initiating any type of interaction—there are a few things you should not say to your cat. As you consider what not to say to your cat, it’s imperative to remember their natural stoicism. Even at their most disgruntled, felines don’t make grand gestures. The key to healthy kitty communication? Observation. And maybe patience. Here, five phrases to stop saying to your cat, according to the experts.

1. “I’m sure you’re fine.”

Cats express themselves physically and vocally. Body language is usually the best indicator of how they feel in the moment. Yowling and meowing can mean anything from “I’m hungry!” to “My kidneys hurt!” Unless you can verify the exact cause of persistent vocalizing (if it stops after dinnertime, for instance), the ASPCA advises against brushing it off. VCA Hospitals also says ignoring dramatic changes in behavior or lethargy could mean ignoring a serious illness brewing inside your cat. Don’t assume everything’s fine! Take her to a vet to make sure.

2. “Stay out here!”

In the wild, big cats hide in trees, in dens, anywhere they can stay hidden. Felines are notorious hiders! House cats are no different. Staying underneath the bed or tucked away inside a cardboard box gives them a sense of security. Forcing your cat to come out into the light of day when they need some alone time is detrimental to their overall sense of security. Rather than yanking your kitty from her hiding spot when you feel like playing, John Bradshaw, author of Cat Sense, tells Scientific American it’s best to allow the kitty to come to you. The key to a confident, social cat is ensuring they feel secure in their environment. Provide plenty of hiding spots—even if your decor is minimalist and sparse.

As with canines, angrily shouting or scolding felines is a big no-no. Actually, the word “No” carries little weight with cats, no matter how forcefully you say it. It’s too vague and harsh tones will only startle your cat (in case you hadn’t noticed, cats freak out easily when they hear jarring, loud noises). Eventually, your cat will fear you even if you’re quiet as a mouse. The ASPCA urges cat owners to use positive reinforcement instead of anger or physical force. This means rewarding your cat with a treat, a head scratch or a play session when they are behaving themselves—and halting all attention as soon as they start misbehaving again. On the other hand, if you’re trying to curb destructive behavior like scratching a fancy chair, try providing an alternative outlet instead of shouting. Shouting leads nowhere. A scratching post focuses that scratching energy elsewhere.

4. Use good commands like “Treat!” for negative experiences

Pets associate specific commands with specific results. If you say, “Dinner!” and immediately serve up savory tuna every night, your cat’s ears will perk up every time you say “Dinner!” They’ll assume it’s time to eat. Using a command your cat associates with a positive experience in order to trick them into a negative experience will throw the entire system out of whack—and teach your cat not to trust you anymore. If your cat hates having her nails clipped, instead of luring her to this unpleasant situation by saying “Treat!” try offering her treats afterwards. She’ll then learn getting her nails trimmed means a reward. And “Dinner!” will still mean savory tuna.

5. “Bite my hand!”

Play fighting with your cat is one of the worst habits you can establish. “Starts out cute, ends with carnage,” as cat expert Jackson Galaxy puts it. Teaching your cat that it’s OK to play fight—bite, scratch, rough-house—with you teaches your cat that your hand is a toy. Cats play fight with their siblings and mother as kittens. As soon as they bite or scratch even a smidge too hard and their siblings or mother shut it down. This sets the boundaries of what is play and what is too rough. If cat owners don’t shut it down as soon as it gets rough, those boundaries go unbuilt. Eventually, kittens grow into cats, and cats are tiny tigers. Those claws are real, and those jaws are strong. Your cat will have aggressive tendencies that will be very difficult to unlearn.

Bringing you yesterday’s news from Japan and Asia, today.

Cats bowing in apology is Japan’s latest weird gacha capsule toy collection

How to apologize to a cat

Felines walk us through the finer details of saying sorry in Japan.

In Japan, bowing is so deeply ingrained in the culture that the depth and type of bow can speak volumes. For those new to the culture, this form of expression can be an awkward one to master, but don’t worry — there’s a gacha capsule toy series here to guide us in the ways of the bow in the cutest way possible.

▼ With apologetic cats!

How to apologize to a cat

Our Japanese-language reporter Saya Togashi reckons this cute collection capturesthe essence of Japan“, because what can be more Japanese than to know how to bow properly?

▼ These cats focus specifically on bows of apology, and there are six in the series to collect.

How to apologize to a cat

Gacha toy collectors might think there isn’t a lot of variation between these kitties at first, but a closer look reveals they have different expressions…

How to apologize to a cat

▼ …and different bowing angles.

How to apologize to a cat

In Japan, people are taught how to bow from a very young age, refining the art as they grow older and need to bow for different situations, like during job interviews and to show respect for colleagues of various ranks within a company. Generally, the three main bows involve bending at angles of 15 degrees, 30 degrees and 45 degrees, but there are a few more to learn as well, so let’s take a look at what these cats have to say about it all.

This first cat can be seen demonstrating a low bow for a relatively low level of apology, where little more than a lowering of the head and gaze is required. The cat’s pedestal here reads “Shitsurei Itashimasu” (“Excuse Me”), a phrase that often accompanies this bow when employees dip their head as they enter a room at work.

How to apologize to a cat

Next is the 15-degree-angle bow (known as “eshaku“). The phrase on the pedestal reads “Gomen Nasai” (“I’m Sorry“), which is more commonly used when speaking to those you know well, like friends or family members.

How to apologize to a cat

▼ A closer look at this cat’s facial expression, however, reveals it might not really be sorry for what it did.

How to apologize to a cat

Next is a more respectful bow known as “keirei“, which involves a 30-degree bend of the torso. The phrase for this one is “Sumimasen” (“I’m Sorry“), which is more appropriate when apologising to those you don’t know so well.

How to apologize to a cat

A quick look at this cat’s face, though, shows it looking upwards with its eyes while bowing, which is a no-no in the human world. Well-mannered humans are required to lower their eyes when they bow, so that their gaze falls to the ground slightly in front of their feet.

▼ As we know, though, cats don’t like to follow rules not made by them.

How to apologize to a cat

Then we have a deep bow known as “saikeirei”, which involves a bend of 45 – 70 degrees. The phrase on this pedestal reads “Moushiwake Gozaimasen“, a much more respectful way of saying “I’m sorry“, commonly used when speaking to superiors.

▼ The deeper you bow, the more respectful the apology.

How to apologize to a cat

There are a couple more bows that are even deeper and more respectful, but unfortunately we weren’t able to get them when we fed our coins into the gacha machine that sold them. The bows can be seen on the little pamphlet that comes with each capsule toy, though, so we could see what they were like.

▼ Right to left in the middle image: Chinsha (“Apology“) and “Dogeza” (“Prostrate oneself“)

How to apologize to a cat

These are two forms of bowing people want to avoid whenever possible, because if you find yourself using them, it means you’ve done something really bad…or you’ve come across a particularly horrible customer.

How to apologize to a cat

These remorseful kitties are sure to come in handy when you want to practice the art of a Japanese apology, or gift a sorry cat to a family member you’ve wronged.

Available at gacha capsule toy machines around the country for 300 yen (US$2.66) each, you could easily stock up on a whole litter of bowing cats, and even then it wouldn’t even be the strangest thing, because in Japan, even hanko stamps bow to show respect.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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[ Read in Japanese ]

Write this letter as soon as possible after the unfortunate incident. Focus on actions to rectify the situation rather than the damage you may have caused. Accompany your apology with a promise of compensation or restitution. A sincere apology can go a long way to winning back a disgruntled customer.

Example Letter #1

We are very sorry that your toaster does not function as you expected. Before we ship any toaster, we double-check every function, so your problem may be one you can solve quite easily.

When the bread does not go down, you can usually correct the problem by rotating the screw on the bottom of the toaster a turn or two to the right. If that adjustment does not solve the problem, simply return the toaster to our nearest outlet to receive a replacement or a refund. Your Doe toaster should give you many years of trouble-free service.

Example Letter #2

We regret the keyboard you purchased is causing you difficulties. Because Doe products are tested thoroughly before shipping, it is a rare instance when one is found defective. We have enclosed a replacement keyboard for your convenience. Please return the original to us in the enclosed mailer. If you need further assistance, please call us at 555-5555. We want you to be a satisfied Doe customer.

Example Letter #3

We were sorry that the magazine you received last month lacked the center pages. We pride ourselves on producing error-free copies, but apparently one slipped through. We are sending you another copy immediately. Please call us toll free at 555-5555 if you do not receive it within the next few days. Thank you for letting us serve you.

Write Your Letter Step-by-Step

Apologize for the reader's inconvenience. Explain (but do not excuse) the problem.

Bringing you yesterday’s news from Japan and Asia, today.

Cats and dogs apologising at Japanese press conference is our newest gacha capsule toy obsession

How to apologize to a cat

Pets saying sorry for their bad deeds is also a fun way to learn Japanese.

With Japanese society so heavily focused on the harmony of the group rather than the individual, letting the team down is a transgression that requires a serious apology.

There are many levels of apology in Japan, a country well-known for its apology culture, and somewhere at the top of the ladder in terms of seriousness is a public apology in front of the press, known as “shazai kaiken“, or “apology press conference“.

The shazai kaiken has a distinct look to it, often consisting of microphones, name plates, and a table covered in white cloth. Behind the table are one or more individuals, who stand at the end of the press conference and give such a deep bow it’s like they’re trying to give us a full view of the tops of their heads.

These types of apologies are often utilised by companies or public figures to atone for their wrongdoings, but now, thanks to a new gacha capsule toy series from Gashapon, we get to see what it would look like if cats and dogs were apologising for their naughty behaviours.

How to apologize to a cat

Called the Animal Press Conference, there are a total of six sorry animals to collect in the series. Some of the pets include a naughty miniature dachshund, who, according to the sign on its stand, is apologising for “hakai koui“, which translates to “act of destruction“.

How to apologize to a cat

We’ve seen enough naughty pup videos on the Internet to guess this dachshund’s act of destruction may have involved ripping things to shreds and leaving them scattered around the house for their owner…or perhaps it was just the good ol’ act of eating someone’s homework.

How to apologize to a cat

There’s also a remorseful-looking Shiba Inu, who is apologising for “fumitsuke“, known in English as the act of “trampling“.

How to apologize to a cat

This naughty Shiba is probably in the doghouse for trampling on its owner who was trying to have a sleep-in. Shame on you!

How to apologize to a cat

Next up is a naughty Pug. What did you do, you cheeky animal.

How to apologize to a cat

“Tsumamigui” is the act of secret eating, and we all know how our furry companions would guzzle through a whole bag of pet biscuits if we gave them half a chance. Eating without your human’s permission is a misdemeanour that deserves a press conference-level of apology!

“I sincerely apologise for my indiscretion”.

How to apologize to a cat

We’ve got to hand it to dogs, though, as they do know how to work those puppy eyes and look sincerely sorry when they’ve done something wrong. Cats, on the other hand…well, they’re a different beast, so it’s unusual to see them looking apologetic for any of their bad behaviours.

“Yes, okay, I may have ripped your 壁紙 (“kabe gami” / wallpaper), but what was it doing there in the first place?!”

How to apologize to a cat

There are two more apologising cats in the lineup — a white one, who is attempting to make amends for “Tissues” and a black cat, who’s regretting its behaviour with “Shoji“. As we’ve seen in the past, cats and shoji (traditional sliding paper doors) are mortal foes that should never be left alone in a room together.

How to apologize to a cat

Each capsule toy is priced at 300 yen (US$2.60) each, and if you buy more than one, you can line the animals up next to each other for a very unusual apology press conference.

How to apologize to a cat

We can almost hear them shouting “誠に申し訳ございませんでした” (“makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen deshita”/ “we are truly sorry”), just like the hoomans do when they’re giving a public press conference apology.

How to apologize to a cat

The range was just released in the first week of February, and the buzz surrounding them suggests they’re well-poised to be as popular as these bowing cats released in December.

If they’re anywhere near as popular as the gacha range featuring Godzilla and its fellow kaiju apologising, press conference-style, then you might want to buy all these pets, because the Godzilla collection is so sought after it now sells for hundreds of dollars online!

Related: Gashapon World
Images © SoraNews24

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I’m an ugly guy. I used to look okay, but I got a bad injury when I was 11. The surgeon did his best, but … there’s a reason I don’t leave my house much. Every time I go out, people stare. That’s why the internet has been a haven for me. Nobody knows what I look like because I use a stock photo for my profile pictures.

As you can guess, finding love hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve tried every dating app under the sun and I never get any responses. I know everybody says the inside is what counts, but women see my face and run before I can get a word out. I can’t really blame them, but it’s still frustrating. I’ve been so lonely, you have no idea.

Find a Therapist

But five months ago I found the most amazing girl. We met on a film forum and started geeking out about Quentin Tarantino. The more I talked with this girl, the more I liked her. So when she started flirting with me, it was a dream come true. She’s the first girl who has EVER been interested in me. I couldn’t help but flirt back.

We’ve been in a relationship for five months now. She’s asked to meet a few times (we both live near Chicago), but I’ve been putting it off. My girlfriend got a little mad last time and jokingly asked if I was catfishing her. And it hit me: She was right. I am a catfish.

I didn’t post the fake profile picture to lure anyone in, though. I only wanted people to see the real me, which is basically the opposite of catfishing, right? And I’ve been honest with my girlfriend about everything else. But … ever since that talk, I’ve felt so guilty. I know I should tell my girlfriend the truth, but I don’t want to lose her. The one time I tried to bring it up, I panicked and backed out at the last minute.

What should I do? Should I meet up and listen to whatever my girlfriend has to say? Or will we both hurt less if I break up with her from behind the screen? —Accidental Catfisher

Dear Accidental Catfisher,

I feel for you. Dating in person is rough enough, but virtual dating adds some notable complications. Knowing who and what you can trust online is a challenge, and the potential for catfishing—defined by Merriam-Webster as setting up a “false personal profile on a social networking site for fraudulent or deceptive purposes”—is one reason that’s so.

You write that you “didn’t post the fake profile picture to lure anyone in,” that you only wanted people to see the “real” you. By that, I assume you mean you wanted people to form their perceptions of you based on your expressions rather than your appearance. That’s understandable. I wonder if, had you revealed early on that your profile photo is an avatar, your love interest would have also understood. Now that things are progressing toward a possible face-to-face meeting, you say you don’t know how to resolve this situation.

Speaking of understandable, your fear of rejection and loss is easy to relate to, as is your panic in the moment with so much at stake. I hear how important this relationship is to you. Relationships call for courage and openness. Writing your letter is both courageous and open of you, which bodes well for your ability to be candid with the people in your life.

I’m not here to tell you what to do. I am here to try to help you understand what your feelings are telling you. For example, the guilt you say you feel may be trying to steer you toward a corrective action—in this case, perhaps fessing up, apologizing, and asking for forgiveness.

You say this is the first time a girl has been interested in you. Relationships are built on authenticity and compassion. Is losing a person who doesn’t value those things above all else really a loss?

I imagine you have placed yourself in her shoes and have considered how you might feel to be told she hadn’t been forthcoming about her appearance. Would that be a problem for you? Would it have been less of a problem early on as opposed to now? Would it be more of a problem to find out in person as opposed to now, over the internet? These are all questions I would want to explore with you in therapy as we thought about how you might proceed.

I would also want to explore some of the self-image concerns I’m hearing, as those concerns may be at the root of everything else that’s going on. You describe yourself with more than a hint of shame, despair, and some longing as well. It’s unfortunate that some of your experiences—being stared at and so on—have reinforced these self-perceptions.

But there’s also clearly a lot to like, based on the fact you have attracted someone special. Those likable things are winning, desirable qualities no matter what. Are they mostly in hiding too? If you feel confident and loving about what’s under the surface, often the surface-level stuff takes care of itself.

You say this is the first time a girl has been interested in you. Relationships are built on authenticity and compassion. Is losing a person who doesn’t value those things above all else really a loss?

So here we are. What’s next? You can disappear and “ghost” her, break up behind the screen, fess up before you meet, or come clean in person. Only you know what is right. Whatever you decide, I recommend that you work with a therapist who will help you face up to yourself and then to others.

I hear that you are reluctant to be “seen.” It’s ultimately what we all want—to be accepted and loved, warts and all. I hope you can offer yourself and your friend some compassion and take the steps necessary to live an authentic life you can feel good about.

Doja played in Brazil earlier in the week and, for one reason or another, the artist thought that the show wasn’t “good enough” and took to social media to apologise.

Unfortunately, the apology lead to a whole other ordeal after fans in Paraguay hit back over a cancelled festival show.

Confused? Allow us to explain…

  • MORE: What happened with Doja Cat as singer changes Twitter name to “I Quit”?

Why did Doja Cat apologise to fans in Brazil?

In the calm before the storm, singer Doja Cat took to Twitter to issue an apology to fans in Brazil.

The artist claimed that she didn’t put on a “good enough show” for fans in Brazil, before thanking them for coming out to see her.

“I don’t think I gave Brazil a good enough show tonight at all and I’m sorry for that but thank you guys for coming out I f****** love you and thank god we got another show tomorrow I promise I’ll do better. (sic),” the Like That singer tweeted.

The apology, however, sparked an uproar from fans in Paraguay over a cancelled festival show.

  • MORE: Nabela Noor and husband give baby Amalia a meaningful name of hope

Paraguay fans tweet at singer

As reported by The Daily Mail, fans in Paraguay hit back at Doja Cat after cancelling a show a week before and not issuing them with any kind of apology.

The cancelled show, however, was due to a dangerous storm and flooding, though many fans were still upset.

In a now-deleted tweet, Doja wrote: “There was a storm in Paraguay, the show got canceled. When I left the next morning, there wasn’t one person outside the hotel waiting for me.”

The same outlet reports that the singer continued with a string of tweets that are now deleted following comments from upset fans: ” I can’t wait to f***** disappear and I don’t need you to believe in me anymore.”

She then topped off the tweets with: “This s*** ain’t for me so I’m out. Y’all take care”, and changed her Twitter name to ‘i quit’.

Doja Cat still set to play Brazil show

According to TMZ, sources close to Doja say that she is still set to perform at her Brazil show (March 25th), despite prior tweets.

How to apologize to a cat

Saturday Night Live’s lovely Emmy-nominated Kate McKinnon was on Late Night last night with, ironically, the host of this upcoming Emmy telecast, Seth Meyers. Though the first SNL cast member of the year was sh*tcanned last night (but it was totally worth it for that Twitter joke!), that was not a topic of conversation. Instead, Kate McKinnon used the opportunity to apologize to some women who work in a cat shelter.

It was all a misunderstanding, see? What happened was, McKinnon visited a cat shelter one weekend, and on the very next weekend, she and Charlize Theron were in a sketch about some off-kilter women at a cat shelter. The women at the cat shelter McKinnon visited were obviously hurt. “You don’t care about cats. You just came in to do research,” they tweeted at McKinnon.

But it totally wasn’t about those cat shelter ladies, McKinnon explains. It was TOTALLY another cat shelter she was making fun of (wink wink?).

Personally, I think McKinnon should be apologizing for that episode, which was the second worst of the year (behind only the Jim Parsons’ installment). Here’s that cat lady sketch. Now, let’s never speak of it again.

When you commit a mistake in a relationship, it becomes your responsibility to accept the mistake and apologize for it.

Sometimes the ego comes in between but to save the relation it is important to keep the ego and callous attitude away and seek forgiveness. Saying sorry can be done in several ways.

Confessing in person is the best way but sometimes the right words don’t come out at the proper time and in that situation writing a sorry letter is considered as one of the best medicine to apologize and patch up the relationship.

It all depends on the persons involved in the relationship to mutually understand and forgive each other. Then only a relationship will strengthen.

Table of Contents

Writing A Letter To Cousin Writing Tips

  • The letter should clearly express the emotions of the writer.
  • As it is an informal letter, you need not worry about the language. But simple words are effective and convey your feelings more convincingly.
  • The letter should sound genuine and sincere.
  • Make sure to use apologizing words.

Writing A Letter To Cousin Template

Use our free Writing A Letter to Cousin to help you get started.

Date:________(date of writing the letter)

Subject:_____(mention the subject)

Dear_________ (name of your cousin),

I am sorry as I cannot come to your place in the summer holidays. Initially, I had planned to come, but during this summer holiday, there is a workshop being conducted in our college. It is compulsory for all the students to attend. I do not have any other choice.

I know you will find it difficult to manage things without me. Hope our other cousins will help you this time. I can only plan to come and meet you during the Christmas holidays. Please convey my best wishes to Jim and Tom.

Hoping to hear from you,

_______________ ( Your name)

_____________ ( your address)

Date: _________________ (date of which letter is written)

_____________ ( address of the person the letter is addressed to)

Dear ____________ (name of your cousin),

I am really sorry for the incident which occurred yesterday. _____________________________ (mention the details of the incident). Please forgive me for the inconvenience I caused to you. It was never my intention to do so. I hope we sort this out and get back to how we were.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

______________ (your name)

Writing A Letter To Cousin Sample

The following is the sample of A Letter to Cousin.

Rosa Daniels
Viktoria Road
Cambridge, USA

February 12, 2001

Dorothy Sendler
Greenwich Village
New York, USA
Subject: Apology to cousin

Subject: Letter to cousin

I am sorry for not being able to come for summer holidays this time to your place. Indeed I planned to spend most of my holidays with you like every year. But this summer, I have to attend a summer camp conducted in our college. It is compulsory for all the students to attend.

I know all of you will have a memorable time spending time together. I will be missing all the fun and frolic. But what to do, I do not have any other option except to attend the workshop.

Every year I have been helping you in managing things at home. This time you may find it difficult to manage things without my presence. Hope you will be successful in your efforts.

How are Jim and Bobby? Convey my best wishes to them. It has been a really long time since I met you all. I don’t think I will be able to meet you until next summer holidays. It will be a long gap.

I once again apologize for not coming to meet you this summer holidays. Please write back to me as I will be eagerly waiting for your reply.

Yours lovingly,

Date: 3rd July 2016

I apologize for taking your vehicle and having accidentally damaged it. As my car was with the mechanic, I had taken your permission and took your car. My father was not well, and my mother had called me asking if I can accompany her taking my father to the doctor. I had no choice except to take your car. I went to my parents, took my father to the doctor, and by God’s grace he has recovered.

After returning, when I was parking your car in the parking lot, suddenly a truck came from behind and hit the car. I know it was not my fault. But the damage has happened.

I will bear the expenses in getting the car repaired. Immediately after the accident, I called the technician, and he said that it would take a week of time to get the damaged portion rectified. I know I have caused a lot of inconvenience to you. Please excuse me for this incident. Hope you will understand my situation and not hold this accident against me.

Hope to hear from you.

Writing A Letter To Cousin Email Format

The following is the email format to be followed for A letter to Cousin.

Dearest ________, (Name of the recipient)

I am sorry for wrecking your plans for this summer holidays. It is completely my fault, and I am feeling very guilty about this. I know that I have forcefully taken the initiative to plan out the summer holidays and was trying to make the best program for the vacations. But due to my confusing attitude, I was not able to make out anything.

Even you have asked to help me out for so many times, but I denied because I wanted to structure the things in my way to get the experience. I was trying to be good and confident while taking the decisions and I thought it would only be possible if I will not take any help.

But I was wrong as I did not have any idea of it and you had enough experience of traveling and can quickly guide me, so I should ask you for the same. To make my planning best I spent so much of the time, and now in the middle of the month, I realize that it is not the thing that I can do alone.

I sincerely apologize for wasting so much of your time which was a treasure that comes to us once in a year. I hope you will forgive me for this and you will not have any hard feelings for me.

How to apologize to a cat

Cats often like to go where they're not supposed to. Learn how to get them to listen.

How to Tell a Cat "No"

Cat lovers know that cats are very different animals from dogs. While my dogs may attempt to outsmart me on many occasions, they usually shape up pretty quickly with a loud "No, bad dog!" But if I say "no" to my cat, I'm only minimally acknowledged, if that. Instead, the cat goes right on doing whatever it was doing.

So how do you get a cat to even listen, and more importantly, is there any way to get them to actually obey? Yes, cats can not only acknowledge the message, but change their behavior. Here are a couple of methods that work for me. No two cats are exactly the same, but just maybe these tricks will also work for you.

Hiss Like a Cat When They Misbehave

When the cat begins to do something you don't want it to do (such as approach your laptop or jump up on a cabinet where you are preparing food), look the cat in the eye and hiss, just as a cat does.

I tried this one recently, and wish I had known to do it last week. They jump back and cease their behavior immediately. What is even more impressive is that they don't return to test me again. This is what they call speaking their language, and doesn't require any gimmick or accessory.

I have noticed that when one cat annoys another, the annoyed cat will first look directly into the eyes of the cat who is annoying him or her, and look hard. If the cat does not back off at this point, the annoyed cat will hiss, and this usually gets the annoying cat's attention. This works with all my cats. They leap away from me quickly as if I actually have claws to attack.

Cats do a number of things to control the relationship, and some say they own you instead of the other way around, but if you want to be at least on equal footing with a cat, I'd suggest you use these tactics, as they are helping me even the score somewhat.

Further Reading

    Having trouble with your cat's bad behavior? Learn how to effectively discipline your cat with this helpful list of do's and don'ts.

    Are you still spraying cats with water from squirt bottles to try and halt inappropriate behavior? Please stop – there are better ways to fix the problem!

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.


shon on June 01, 2020:

I tried the hissing thing and she actually listened

Christinevl7 on June 10, 2019:

My 1 year old feral listens to me. I don't have a fence but she is allowed to go outside with my extremely close supervision. When she goes too close to the property line, I say "Sophie, back up." She does it! Once she's back to the safe spot, I always tell her "Good Girl" so she knows she did good.

Amy on February 28, 2019:

I have tried these methods before but my cat is too smart. He goes into maximum overdrive and I cannot stop him, but thanks for the ideas. I appreciate it!

When your friend's or family member's pet dies, they're going to experience grief and sadness. It's admirable that you want to offer condolences for the loss of this pet—seriously, you're a good friend—so we're going to try to help you help your loved ones through their grief.

Remember, what you want to hear while grieving might not be the same for your friend. Instead, ask if your friend needs help with anything, pose open-ended questions about their pets' lives, and just be present for them as they explore the stages of their grief.

This also might be a new experience for you, and you should know that there are some things that, while they might seem useful, can be unhelpful. Chief among them: This isn't something you can fix.

"It's so hard, but really try to resist the urge to make it better," says Leslie Stewart, PhD, a licensed counselor and director of the Animal Assisted Intervention program at Idaho State University.

Stewart, who's also on the Daily Paws Advisory Board, along with Daily Paws Pet Health and Behavior Editor Haylee Bergeland, CPDT-KA, CBCC-KA, RBT, have some additional tips you could find helpful if you're comforting a loved one whose pet has died.

What to Say When Someone’s Pet Dies

The most important thing you can do when someone is grieving the loss of their pet is to just be there for your friend. To start, Bergeland says you can offer up a "What can I do to help you?" or a " I am so very sorry for your loss; I am here if you need me."

"Just letting someone know that you are there if they need you is helpful," she says.

Talking with a friend or loved one is an important part of the grieving process, Stewart says. Hearing them relive memories or tell stories about their departed pet can really help them feel better. As a friend, that's what you can ask for: open-ended questions that spark remembrances and maybe even a few tears.

Offering a Message of Condolence for the Loss of a Pet

If you're unable to support your friend face-to-face and you want to send a condolence message for your loved one's loss of their pet in a card, Bergeland says some quotes can provide comfort, including these ideas:

  • “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”
  • “A dog does not live for your whole life, but they make your life whole.”
  • “Our love for our (dog/cat) knows not its own depths until the hour of separation.”

Other Ways to Support Your Loved One Experiencing a Pet Loss

Fix Them Some Comfort Food

When you lose a loved one, your brain goes into "crisis mode," Stewart says. That means you can forget normal day-to-day things, including eating. So yeah, if you can whip something up that you know your friend likes to eat, do it. You can bring it to their house and share it as they talk about their loss. "You can also offer to bring them groceries … or offer to babysit the kids for a night or two," Bergeland recommends.

Help Your Loved One Memorialize Their Pet

Stewart also recommends that people grieving their pets should find a way to memorialize their pets, including actual funeral and burial ceremonies. If that's what your buddy or relative wants to do, help them plan and execute the event.

If your friend wants, you can also help them make a photo collage or memory box, two other things Stewart recommends for grieving pet parents. 

Take Action

"Offering to be there if they need you, offering to help however they need, or to accompany them to support groups, et cetera, are all helpful versus just saying things like 'Sorry for your loss.' Offering an action, instead of just words, is always best for anyone grieving," Bergeland says.

What to NOT Say When Someone’s Pet Dies

Even our best intentions can sometimes produce the wrong result. It's even natural for us to want to "fix" what our friend or loved one is going through, but you should avoid that "righting reflex," Stewart says.

"From the receiving end of it, it's often terribly unhelpful," she says.

There are also things we could say that sound helpful or reassuring but actually aren't, Bergeland says. Those include, "Well, you gave them a good life," and "They were lucky to have you." It makes it sound like the departed animals were just a pet, not a family member. 

Keep in mind that a pet dying is not "similar" to losing a best friend or beloved family member. It is losing a best friend or beloved family member, so you definitely don't want to go the "it's just a pet" route. That's one of the worst things you can say to someone grieving a pet, along with phrases like, "There will be other dogs/cats." It's insensitive and borderline cruel to someone experiencing a great loss. 

Instead, offer actions and kinder, more understanding words because your friend needs help, even if they might not admit it.

"Some people aren't whole in human relationships but find the wholeness, that love, in a relationship with a pet," Bergeland says.

This article was co-authored by Brian Bourquin, DVM. Brian Bourquin, better known as “Dr. B” to his clients, is a Veterinarian and the Owner of Boston Veterinary Clinic, a pet health care and veterinary clinic with three locations, South End/Bay Village, the Seaport, and Brookline, Massachusetts. Boston Veterinary Clinic specializes in primary veterinary care, including wellness and preventative care, sick and emergency care, soft-tissue surgery, dentistry. The clinic also provides specialty services in behavior, nutrition, and alternative pain management therapies using acupuncture, and therapeutic laser treatments. Boston Veterinary Clinic is an AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) accredited hospital and Boston’s first Fear Free Certified Clinic. Brian has over 19 years of veterinary experience and earned his Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from Cornell University.

wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 19 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status.

This article has been viewed 1,674,517 times.

You may love your cat more than anything in the world, but there are certain behaviors, such as tearing up furniture, scratching people, and getting into areas you don’t want her to access, that are simply unacceptable. You will need to practice patience and persistence to deter your cat’s bad behavior. With certain adjustments to her routine and the use of correcting techniques, you should be able to stop your cat from practicing bad behavior.

How to apologize to a cat

Slight snag though – turns out your adorable fur babies don’t much like being cuddled.

Cats Protection ran a survey to see just how much owners know about looking after their pets.

The charity discovered that more than 50 per cent don’t realise how stressed cats get from too much petting.

Cats Protection behaviour manager Nicky Trevorrow said: ‘Being held or stroked for too long can be very stressful for some cats.

‘Space and peace is often what they need.

‘They are not small furry humans, so what would comfort us will not ­necessarily comfort them.

‘Owners love their ­animals and want them to be happy but our research has highlighted a lack of ­understanding.’

The survey also revealed that just over half of owners did not realise that their pet may find living with ­another cat or dog stressful.

More than half didn’t know that wetting and soiling in the house was a sign of stress and only a quarter knew that grooming a particular area all the time was also a sign.

The poll was carried out ahead of BBC2’s Horizon mini-series Cat Watch 2014 which starts tomorrow (Tuesday) at 8pm.

The programme, based around the adventures of 100 moggies, aims to show the world from a cats’ eye view, and looks at how they have adapted to the modern world.

How to apologize to a cat

The teenager, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was found guilty of animal cruelty last month.

Kilo the cat was thrown from a gangway that connects the ship to the dock between London Bridge and Tower Bridge, Camberwell Youth Court heard.

The judge gave the girl a nine-month supervision order over the drowning.

Kilo, who has not been seen since the incident on 9 February, was adopted by the ship’s crew from Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.

The girl who denied the charge of cruelty was seen giggling during the trial and the sentencing.

District Judge Sue Green said: “The offence is one which has caused enormous distress not merely to staff of HMS Belfast but a lot of right-minded members of the public who were upset by your disgraceful behaviour.”

The judge added that she expected the girl “whether she liked it or not to write a letter of apology to staff from HMS Belfast and I would like a copy of that letter sent to me”.

After the order the girl said: “I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry for what happened.”

Pc Scott Jarmy said: “We were hoping for a brief custodial sentence.

“She showed contempt for the legal process by laughing during the trial and today [Friday] but hopefully she will learn from what happened.”

During the trial the court heard that a security guard spotted the girl wearing a white hoodie throwing the cat overboard in the early hours.

How to apologize to a cat

She was with her boyfriend and another person at the time of the incident. She denied claims that all three were drinking heavily at the time.

The court also heard that the teenager’s boyfriend had offered to take the blame for the drowning.

Battersea Dogs and Cats Home said Kilo and his brother Oscar were rehoused in the ship as part of a project in 2007.

A spokeswoman said: “We are pleased that the culprit was apprehended and convicted in court for this awful act of animal cruelty.”