Please keep in mind that, as you read this, you are not wrong for reacting as you did. You were just oversensitive, and you should take responsibility for that.
If you’re nervous about coming across as overly sensitive, don’t worry; this article is about the “light” version of oversensitivity, and anything else is a red flag.
Instead of apologizing for how you feel or blaming yourself for being wrong, you need to use an apology to your advantage. Here are some things to look for when you’re apologizing for oversensitivity:
Apologize for the overreaction, not the emotion
Many times, oversensitivity is rooted in a misunderstanding of an event. If you take time to better understand why you felt the way you did, you will likely feel less emotionally distressed.
Be clear that you’re not apologizing for your feelings, but rather for the way you reacted to those feelings.
For example, if you accused someone of sexual assault, it was not for your feelings, it was for your understanding.
This means that, while you feel horrible about what you did, you don’t need to apologize for the way you feel.
Cite a third party for your overreaction. If you didn’t have an objective perspective on the situation before you started reacting, you don’t need to apologize for that.
Avoid using the word “that” while you’re apologizing
Saying, “That makes me feel angry,” or, “That upset me,” indicates that you are responding to your feelings, not the situation or other people.
Let the other person define the extent of the problem. Someone who is overly sensitive will interpret anything as an attack or a rejection of who they are.
When you are apologizing for oversensitivity, make sure that you’re not directing your focus on what the other person is doing wrong. This way, you can keep your focus on yourself and work through your emotions.
If you’re not sure what to say, ask a friend for their perspective. Ask them what they would say when you are oversensitive.
How to relax
In addition to practicing the above steps, you’ll also be required to relax.
Overthinking and tense muscles can make everything more difficult. So how can you relax?
Here are a few ways that can help you feel relaxed and at ease.
Some of these are more effective than others. Use what works for you!
Take a bath. At the very least, taking a nice, warm bath helps you relax.
And if you don’t like baths, try a hot bath or a nice shower.
Linger in the tub for a few minutes, or soak in the shower for ten or fifteen.
The water and heat will soothe your muscles and ease your mind.
Take a warm bath. At the very least, taking a nice, warm bath helps you relax.
And if you don’t like baths, try a hot bath or a nice shower. Linger in the tub for a few minutes, or soak in the shower for ten or fifteen.
The water and heat will soothe your muscles and ease your mind. Listen to calming music.
Listening to calming music in the background can be a great way to relax.
Lately, I’ve been listening to these three song loops on Spotify:
Just keep scrolling through the playlists until you find the music that works for you.
I know that most people won’t be able to get very deep into meditation, but even a few minutes of it can help calm your mind.
And if you already meditate, there’s no need to do anything differently!
- Watch a funny movie.
- Listen to music.
- Stand in a long shower and relax your muscles.
- Play a soothing game on the phone (or computer)!
A massage is another way to relax. In fact, a simple massage can give you the same calming effect that a hot bath or a long shower would!
If your therapist is professional, then you can try a simple procedure called reflexology or Chinese medical massage.
Some people are really tired, so they need a nap. You don’t need to nap, but if you do need a nap, just take the most comfortable position you can find.
If you have trouble sleeping, try listening to soothing music while you’re taking a nap.
I know I’m going to sound like I’m making these steps up. But the fact is that I’m not: I’ve had years of experience using all of these methods.
If you’re interested in reading about more ways to relax, check out this article on my website.
Let me summarize all the steps to the post above.
If you’re experiencing difficulty with managing your emotions, it’s okay to feel like you need to fix things and get rid of your emotions.
That’s a completely natural reaction.
But even with everything in place, the best thing to do is to just practice being mindful and accepting of who you are.
As you practice these steps, you’ll get better at dealing with your emotions.
And if you’re still not sure how to make progress, you can always ask for help.
If you’re having trouble, check out my free guides on dealing with emotions and finding a therapist.
What have you done to make progress with managing your emotions? Share in the comments!
Writing a Simple Apology Letter to a Teacher (with Sample)
Use this sample apology letter to a teacher as a template for your formal apology letter.
Last updated on January 15th, 2019
Students, especially high school and college students are sometimes rude to their teachers and professors and behave badly in class. When teacher correct the behavior of a student, often the student responds in a disrespectful way out of pride. They don’t want to be corrected, especially in front of their peers.
However, most teachers work hard for the benefit of their students, and if one misbehaves, it can be harmful for the whole class. An outburst in class may save the student’s pride, but it could damage their relationship with the teacher and other teachers as their reputation becomes known.
Student Should Apologize to the Teacher
When this happens, the student should apologize to the teacher. It may be difficult to face a teacher to apologize for disrespectful behavior, but the same results can be gained by writing an apology letter. In the letter, the student should mention the incident and apologize for their actions.
This type of letter should be formal. The teacher may show it to the principal and other teachers, and a copy may be put in the student’s file.
The letter should be addressed to the teacher’s correct name and not to a familiar or friendly name the student has called the teacher in class.
If the student has difficulty putting their feelings of apology into words, they can ask another teacher for help. There may be a particular form that is recommended. They will know the best way for the student to express regret, so that the teacher forgives.
The student needs to feel sincere contrition when they write the letter. The tone of the letter should be genuine. If the student says that he or she is forced to write the letter, it will not be well received. If the letter is insincere, the teacher will know immediately.
Don’t Blame the Teacher
It is also not a good idea for the student to blame the teacher for the student’s behavior or imply that it is the teacher’s fault. The aim of this letter is for the student to be accepted as a normal student and not as a troublesome person.
The letter should clearly state that the student sincerely apologizes or deeply regrets their action. This will tell the teacher that the student is taking responsibility for his or her action.
It’s a good idea to have the completed letter proof read by another teacher or someone who knows correct grammar and spelling. This will show the teacher that the student made an effort to do it right.
Students shouldn’t feel that an apology letter is the answer for bad behavior, thereby giving them an excuse to behave disrespectfully in class and then write an apology letter.
This type of letter only works once or possibly twice. More than that and the teacher and school may decide to take other action about a disruptive student. If the student promises in the letter that the behavior won’t happen again, they should stick to it.
Here is a sample apology letter to a teacher. It should be written in a formal style because this will enhance the seriousness of the letter.
It can be hand delivered, if that is acceptable to the student, put on the teacher’s desk when the teacher is not there, or it can be mailed by certified mail, so the student is certain that the teacher actually received it.
The teacher should answer the letter. If there is no response from the teacher in about a week, the student can ask the teacher if he or she read the letter and has any comments.
Sometimes, if there is no comment, the teacher is not satisfied with the apology. In this case, the student may need to talk to the teacher about the situation.
Sample Teacher Apology Letter
Name of Student
Address of Student
City, State, Zip Code
Name of Teacher
Name of School
Address of School
City, State, Zip Code
Dear Name of Teacher,
This letter is to formally apologize to you for my behavior in class on DATE. You corrected me for gossiping with a friend during one of your lectures, and I responded in a rude way.
I have given it a lot of thought and realize that what I said was out of place and disrespectful to you, my classmates and the school. It was also disrespectful to myself, and I know I can do better.
I see your generosity and enthusiasm while teaching World History and appreciate your efforts to make your class interesting. The understanding of world events that I got from you has opened my eyes to many things.
I have learned from this experience and promise to maintain appropriate behavior in the future. I hope our relationship can be undamaged because of my behavior, and I can continue to learn under your guidance.
I’m sorry about what happened today. I would like to apologize for my behavior and the consequences it may have had. I understand that you may not want to forgive me and that’s understandable, but I hope that you will think about this email as a way to show that I am genuinely sorry for what happened.
Email Template 1 (Pre-Written Email text)
Subject: Apology To Teacher
I am really sorry for not completing my project and bringing it to you on Tuesday as I promised. I will complete the project tomorrow and bring it to you as soon as possible.
I was working on the project with my group members, but we weren’t able to finish it because we didn’t have enough time.
Please accept my apology and I will bring the project over tomorrow.
Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you before then.
Email Template 1 (Pre-Written Email text)
I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. I hope it doesn’t interfere with your ability to give me a good grade. I went back and read the book, and paid more attention this time around. I hope you’ll consider giving me the benefit of the doubt.
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Has something like this ever happened to you during childhood…you did something “bad”, let’s say you made fun of a classmate. The teacher called home and told your parents, then when you got home that day they told you that you had to apologize to the other child. But…you were not sorry, you did not feel you did anything wrong, so you refused to apologize. Yet, in the end, your parents made you call that kid and lie to him – telling him you were sorry.
This is what I call a cheap apology, it’s worth nothing, yet there are still plenty of them being passed around. Cheap apologies are: 1) dishonest 2) insincere 3) given without a feeling of remorse or responsibility. Most people can see right through a cheap apology, and as a result there is no forgiveness because the apology was not sincere.
Why is it important to apologize…
“You must first apologize before you can have a chance at being forgiven”. The right apology will release resentment and cause all people involved to feel better. Apologizing is so important because without one, the person hurt will not forget it and that resentment will stay with the relationship.
The big mistake we make when apologizing…
The best advice I have ever received about apologies was from my mother when I was 17. I was feeling guilty about something I had said to a friend and I was telling her about it. She told me that this person probably needed to hear me say I was sorry. She stressed the importance of not making excuses for myself when I apologized. They would want me to accept the responsibilty for my actions, tell them I was sorry, why I was sorry, and that’s all. If I had of rambled on with excuses, such as “I was having a bad day” or “I was stressed out”, it would have been cheap. She was right, the BIG mistake people make when apologizing is trying to avoid their share of the blame, they either blame someone else or make excuses for themselves.
Validate the other person’s feelings…
When apologizing it is important to validate the other person’s feelings. If they are upset by something you did or said, do not tell them THEY are overreacting. We all have a right to our feelings and by apologizing properly you are validating theirs. Say something like: “I’m sorry for yelling at you, I was out of line and I don’t blame you for being upset about it”.
Tell them what you did wrong…
You should also say what you are sorry for, while validating their feelings: “I’m sorry for not calling when I knew I was going to be late, that was very inconsiderate of me” or “I’m sorry for getting mad at you, I was being overreactive” or “I’m sorry for the things I said earlier, it was very mean of me”. When I hear “I’m sorry” with no explanation of why, I think: ‘And what are you sorry for? Do you even know? Or do you think those two words fix everything?’. By clearly admitting your mistake and not making excuses for yourself you are telling the other person that you sincerely do feel bad, and that is what they want to hear.
Listen and wait…
After you apologize do not expect everything to be “better” right away. Take time to listen to your partner, and give him or her some time to release their hurt feelings.