We are all human and we all make mistakes. An important life lesson is learning to recognize our mistakes and apologize for them. This shows that we are capable of self-reflection, empathy, and learning from our errors. On occasion, this can be a difficult task and hard lesson for even us adults. It is important to teach your kids to say, “I’m sorry”, and mean it. Learning to take accountability for their actions is a lesson that will serve them well throughout life. An apology letter for kids and even adults is a great way for them to learn to apologize in a meaningful way. Here’s how and why to write a letter of apology for bad behaviour.
Why Write An Apology Letter?
You see, in my house, when I prompt my school-aged kids for an apology after they’ve done something they shouldn’t have, I sometimes get an insincere and sassy “SAR-REEE” to the family member in return. Not exactly what I had in mind. My second attempt is usually met with the same word, just a more whiny, softer tone. And then the power struggle ensues because they just pushed my don’t-just-say-it-if-you-don’t-mean-it button. At this point sorry is no longer good enough, and privileges start getting revoked. Is it too much to expect that, as the Mom and authority figure, I get respect in the form of a sincere apology?
It may not be too much to expect, but it may require a change in approach. It’s about the meaning behind the words. If they aren’t saying sorry like they mean it, then they simply don’t mean it (no matter how sorry I want them to be). My solution? The apology letter. It works wonders.
Sometimes an apology letter is the best way to show what the full meaning behind the words “I’m sorry”, really are. While it may be natural to want to deny your mistakes and the consequences of your actions, that is a horrible lesson to teach our children. We need to teach them that only by acknowledging our mistakes can we learn from what happened and grow as a person. Offering a heartfelt apology is the only way avoid pushing the other person away and maintain a good relationship.
The fact is that knowing how to write a sincere letter to express regret for unprofessional behavior or rude behavior is a gift even as an adult. I personally have a very meaningful apology letter tucked away and sometimes when I need practice forgiveness, I fetch it out and read it. A good letter goes a long way to soothing ruffled feathers!
How To Write A Letter Of Apology
You want an apology letter to own the mistake, say sorry, and ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t need to be super lengthy, it just needs to convey an actual apology. A great apology letter must follow some simple rules and include some key components to be effective.
Apology Letter Template
A Letter Of Apology For Bad Behaviour Should Include:
1) An apology specifically for what they did that was wrong accepting full responsibility. (Without any “but”s.)
2) A simple statement of why the behavior was wrong.
3) An agreement not to repeat the bad behavior. The offended party wants to know there will not be a next time.
4) A request for forgiveness.
5) Optional- You may include the cause of your behavior or rude comment if you think it will help them understand why you did what you did but you must not use it to excuse your inappropriate behavior.
Sample Apologize Letter
The apology letter template can be customized to meet the situation. is just to serve as an example for behaving the wrong way so you can see how to write one properly. They will vary be age and ability of the writer, of course. The photo at the top of this article shows a good example of a basic sorry letter from a small child. Here is a more in depth apology letter for disrespectful behavior to parents.
I would like to apologize for the hurtful things I said. I recognize now that my offensive behavior and thoughtless actions were wrong because they hurt your feelings when you were trying your best.
It doesn’t make my behavior right but I wanted to tell you why I behaved in such a rude manner. I had a bad day at school and I was feeling angry so I took it out on you. I realize this does not excuse my poor behavior however I wanted to let you know why I behaved in bad taste so you would not be letter wondering.
In the future I will try to exercise better sense and not take my anger out on you. I think a better way would be for me to express that I am having a rough day and try to take some time to myself to cool down. I will try to remember the golden rule and do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
Please forgive me as I try to make this positive change. I appreciate all you do for me and you did not deserve me exploding on you for no reason.
With My Sincerest Apologies,
I hope you found this sample letter useful. It should inspire you to say you are sorry in a way that really demonstrates that you feel it. Furthermore, that you really do want to change your way of conduct. The best time to give an apology letter is… as soon as possible! I also suggest a handwritten note as the best way to make a real connection but typed will do if you have awful handwriting are want to ensure it is legible.
You can even adapt an apology letter for kids to be more suitable for younger kids by making it fill in the blank or letting them draw pictures.
Conclusion On How To Write An Apology Letter
A behavior apology letter takes thought. It takes intention. And it takes sincerity. These are the things we WANT them to have but we can’t force feed them have. I’m such a big fan of apology letters. I have my kids write them to their teachers when I get a report of misbehavior at school. Apology letters are also useful for grandparents or other adults if my kids have been disrespectful. A letter of apology is even appropriate for peers when the situation calls for it. And you know what? My kids have gotten some in return. Including some sincere apology letters from me, which they cherish. Because sometimes words DO speak louder than actions.
We all make mistakes. Knowing how to say, “I’m sorry,” in a meaningful way is of life long use! Have you ever received a letter expressing regret?
Facebook. ahhhh, what a joy, right? I am so fortunate to for Facebook because it has allowed me to rekindle with friends from High School and even Grade School. In addition I have made a TON of business connections.
I decided to write this article after an "incident" took place last night via Facebook that involved drinking.
Here's what happened:
It's around 11pm and I'm laying in bed when my phone goes off – it's a Facebook message from a male friend I had just re-found and hadn't talked to since I was a teenager, yet we had a good friendship and simply lost communication over the years.
The message was pretty "graphic" in it's content. I could tell based on the misspellings that my old friend was drunk.
I replied asking if my friend was ok and was at home or needed me to find him a ride.
He responded stating he was at home then continued on with the same, obnoxious content.
I put my phone on "Silent" mode and went back to sleep. When I awoke I had an inbox full of more drunken messages. Thank God I put my phone on "Silent" because he would have kept me up till 3am with his drunkenness.
Anyway, I got up at 7:30am and got ready for work. A few hours later I get another message – a lengthy apology from this individual.
Truthfully, I wasn't even upset in the first place, I was more "concerned" than anything. The sexual content of the messages was obnoxious, but I know that this person would never, ever have acted like that if sober (or even moderately intoxicated).
So, here's a few pointers from someone who has been on both sides of the fence:
Evaluate How Bad the "Damage" Is
Providing you can recall what you did by re-reading messages, posts, emails, texts, etc; evaluate how "bad" the damage is. While evaluating "damage", consider the following:
1. Were you at a party where everyone was drinking? If so, you may have a case of "drinkers remorse", yet everyone else was drinking too, so your actions could be "all in your head". Nobody probably remembers your "bad dancing" besides you. If you're embarrassed that you spilled a drink or got ill. once again, EVERYONE was drinking.
2. If you were "confrontational" with someone, is this person aware you were drinking? If so, providing you didn't kill their dog or throw their couch into their pool; all that's likely required is an apology. Its NOT the end of the world. I have even gotten into all-out physical brawls with my best friends while drinking and all of us are still friends. In one case, I refused to let my friend drive when he was drunk and I tackled him. While attempting to "detain him" on the floor and remove his car keys, I ended up ripping open his neck with my finger nails. We both felt horrible about it the next day, but he was thankful I did not let him drive and I was thankful he was safe.
3. EVERYONE HAS "BEEN THERE". I guarantee you are NOT the first person to feel like an idiot over your actions. EVERYONE (besides maybe Mother Theresa) has been intoxicated and done something (or lots of things) that they feel ashamed of. EVERYONE. And anyone who won't admit to having at least ONE action they regretted is a liar.
So, with all that in mind, let's do "Damage Control".
I Sent Awful Drunken Texts / Photos
If you're feeling bad over Texts or Photos, who did you send them to? If it is someone who loves you, an apology should be fine. Even if what you sent was really, really mean or graphic. Just explain you drank more than you should and the messages you sent are not how you feel. If you have to admit to being so drunk you don't even REMEMBER sending the messages, then DO SO! There's nothing "wrong" with telling the truth. I would much rather have a good friend who sent me an explicit message admit that they were "blacked out" than simply saying they were drinking because there's a big difference. If someone is "blacked out" and has no recollection of the message(s), then I know they were not in control of their actions at that time. On the other hand, if someone just says they were "drinking", I have to wonder if the message(s) reflect their REAL feelings and they have been acting "fake" towards me.
An apology letter to the boss for bad behavior is a letter written by an employee who has exhibited unprofessional behavior and wants to apologize for it to his employer/boss. This letter indicates the employee’s realization and remorse and is intended to pacify the situation.
Being humans, sometimes, employees may behave unacceptably. However, as it affects the work atmosphere, employers try to maintain control over employees’ behavior. Strict policies that need to be adhered to by the employees are stated in the employee handbook so that employees are well aware of them.
If an employee still shows unprofessionalism but realizes his mistake, he should write an apology letter to his boss and provide explanations of his behavior as well as apologize for it. Along with that, to evade the employer’s drastic actions, he needs to ensure the employer that his behavior would be improved in the future.
The information that needs to be included in an apology letter would be dependent on the severity of the situation created due to the employee’s bad behavior. The general details included in an apology letter to the boss for bad behavior are:
- Details of the employer.
- Details of the employee.
- The issue or incidence of bad behavior.
- Reasons behind and justifications of bad behavior.
- Indicate the realization of the mistake and understanding of its effects.
- Apologize and seek forgiveness.
- Affirm improvement.
The letter needs to be polite-toned. If an employee cannot own his mistake and wants to put the blame on someone else’s shoulder, there is no point in writing an apology letter. In addition, if an employee commits to his boss that bad behavior would not be repeated, he needs to follow that in actuality as well and not just in writing.
I am writing this letter to apologize for my bad behavior in the meeting held with ABC client on 5 th November 2019.
I was very excited about acquiring this project and I had put all my efforts into the project proposal presentation. My bad behavior can only be attributed to that. In the meeting, when my team members were unable to justify their arguments to the client, I got agitated and frustrated. I thought we might lose the client. I became aggressive with my team and tried to provide relevant justifications.
I know this sort of behavior is unprofessional and I should not have talked to my team like that, especially in front of the client. That was a team proposal and should have been handled as a team.
I am extremely sorry about it. I realized my mistake as soon as I exited the meeting room. I highly apologize for my unprofessionalism and immaturity.
I ensure you that this type of behavior will never be repeated and you will not hear a complaint against me.
Please, accept my apology.
File: Word (.docx) 2007+ and iPad Size 20 Kb | Download
If you have misbehaved with your boss, it is time to apologize in a positive manner. Write a letter to your boss explaining what led you to be rude to him/her and how much regretful you are.
Many situational factors may force you into misbehaving, but you must understand that it is better to control your emotions than flaring up, especially at your boss. Remember that your boss has the authority to fire you or take other disciplinary actions and you don’t want to be put in either of these situations.
An apology letter is a way of expressing regret towards a past action or occurrence in writing with an aim of making a positive change from a negative action. Apology letter for bad, rude or unprofessional behavior is written to express regret for behaving in the wrong way towards a person who you had a good relationship with or at work place.
Find below, sample apology letters to help you write one to your boss for your misconduct or mistakes.
Sample Apology Letter to Boss for Misbehavior #1
I am really sorry for what I (said, did etc.) on (day of week). My actions were inappropriate, and I failed to show maturity and professionalism to (you, organization). My action distracted others from (doing their job, learning).
I am embarrassed by this behavior that is unacceptable to (you, the entire organization). I promise that this event will not happen again in future. I will do my best to make sure that I don’t repeat my bad action. I have learnt from this and the next time I find myself in such a situation or environment, I will handle it in a mature and professional way.
Again, I am sorry for my actions and I hope that you can forgive me. I look forward to (working, learning from) you soon. Please let me know your thoughts about this. You may contact me at (email, phone number) at your convenience.
Sample Apology Letter to Boss for Misconduct #2
I am much humbled to write to you asking for apology over my bad behavior during the meeting. I clearly know there were special people such as managers and superintendents. All over sudden I could not control myself, due to stress I was having.I have been so stressed over family matters for the last few days. I am so sorry for the rude behavior. I further understand am solely responsible for portraying a bad image.
Though what I did is not forgivable, I do apologize to the whole team and you. I sincerely assure you such act will never appear again in future.
After going through this letter, I believe you will find a room in your heart and forgive me.
Sample Apology Letter to Boss for Misconduct #3
I am writing to sincerely apologize for my bad behavior during the staff meeting yesterday. I deeply regret my actions and the bad image that I portrayed to my colleagues and the entire management team.
I am really embarrassed by this action as the head of department and I know that I failed to show a good example to my juniors by shouting at you. I know that this is unaccepted by both management and my colleagues. I acted out of work pressure that had caused me too much stress.
I promise to compose myself next time if a situation like this arises. I will be slow to act as well as to speak when I have work pressure. Please accept my apologies and forgive me for acting unprofessional during the meeting.
I look forward to work with you and discuss on the agenda about team building activities in a professional way soon. Please let me know your take on this.
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My husband is very good at apologizing. It’s not that I don’t apologize. Admitting when you’re wrong is hard, but I always do it when I believe I’m wrong. It’s that the way I apologize doesn’t get received as being sincere. I’m working on getting better at apologizing and this is what I’ve learned so far.
In any apology, the hearer is usually willing to accept it if they believe the apologizer is sincere. The problem comes in how we determine whether or not someone is sincere. This all has to do with how you were taught to apologize.
We didn’t hear each other
In my family, you could do or say something nice as a gesture of apology. If you used words you just said, “I’m sorry” and that was enough. But in my husband’s family, apologies are more detailed than that. Rather than simply saying, “I’m sorry,” you say what you’re sorry for. In his family apologies are specific. He’s used to hearing things like, “I’m sorry I reacted without getting clarification first.”
Our different methods of apology have lead to some complicated situations in our home. I would do something inconsiderate. My husband would point it out. I’d mull it over, agree internally that it was inconsiderate, and do something nice as a gesture of apology. Then my husband would get mad that I glossed over the issue by doing something nice. I’d be left confused by the whole incident.
Other times I would do something inconsiderate. My husband would point it out. I’d mull it over, agree and say, “I’m sorry.” My husband would say, “You’re not sorry, you don’t even know what you’re sorry for!” So I would say, “But I agree with you! I’m really sorry!” And he would say, “I don’t believe you’re truly sorry.” Once again, I’d be confused.
5 Ways to apologize
The differences in the way my husband and I hear apologies are pretty common. So what do you do when the person you love doesn’t hear you when you say, “I’m sorry?” In his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married, Dr. Gary Chapman details five languages of apology that are universal.
I. Expressing regret
This language appeals to the emotions. It indicates that we are aware that we caused pain. “I’m sorry I spoke harshly. I know I’ve hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry for that.”
II. Accepting responsibility
This language spells out what was done wrong. “I was wrong to speak to you in that tone. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”
III. Making restitution
This one is all about how to make up. Usually the request will fall in line with that person’s love language. “I can’t believe I reacted that way. Please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”
IV. Expressing the desire to change behavior
This one is pretty self-explanatory. “I keep losing my temper and I know that’s not right. I don’t want to repeat this. Can you think of anything that could help make sure this doesn’t happen?”
V. Requesting forgiveness
This is where forgiveness has to be requested before the apology is seen as being sincere. “I’m so sorry I spoke harshly and reacted the way I did. I know this hurts you. Will you please forgive me?”
One of these languages of apology will resonate the most strongly with you. (For me it’s expressing regret). And likely, a different one will resonate more strongly with your spouse. (For my husband it’s accepting responsibility). Now we’re learning how to apologize in each other’s languages, as well as to extend the grace in accepting an apology that didn’t come out in our preferred language.
Something else I try to practice is to NEVER say “I’m sorry…but” even if there was wrongdoing on the other side. The “but” nullifies the whole apology. It’s an attempt to excuse your own bad behavior based on their bad behavior. It takes strength and humility but you ALWAYS have a choice over your actions. Be responsible for owning up on your end.
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This article was written by: Andrea Shair
Unfaithful Husband: Thrown on a Roller Coaster
A few years into our marriage, I discovered that my husband had been sending sexually explicit emails to women he had met on the Internet. That was.
People are complex, broken beings; therefore, previous hurts, fears or losses can impede their determination to trust and/or be truthful in a.
Mother is the dearest sound in this world for every single person, it is true, but sometimes we hurt our mother for many reasons. We don’t say sorry to her but we should do it. This relationship is the best and lifetime relationship. A sample apology letter to mother for bad behavior is mention below.
She makes a lot of sacrifices only for you in her whole life. She carries you 9 months in her womb. So how can you hurt her? How can you ignore her? So that we all should take care of our mother and we should apologize to our mother.
Apology letter to mother sample
(Your mother’s name)
(Your mother address)
I hope you are well. You are the best mother in this world and also the beautiful mom in this world. Are you angry with me till now? I was really very sorry about last week’s incidents. That was my fault, but I did very bad behavior with you. Please for this time forgive me. I know you felt very bad about my behavior. Please forgive me. Sorry for I could not make you proud of me.
My mom, I am also sorry that I did not turn out the way you wanted me to be. My lovely mom, I am sorry for each and every fault that I made from my childhood.
I am sorry that I make disappointed you every time. That’s all things are true, but here is another true thing that I love you. I am really thankful to have you as my mom. I am proud to have you as my mom.
Please forgive me for every fault. You are my best mom in this world. I love you. I miss you.
Mom, I pray and hope that may God fulfill your all wishes. Please pray for me because your prayer is the big protection for me in this world.
Sample apology letter to mother 2
This letter is not enough for me to show what I am feeling by giving you so much pain last night. But still, right now I am writing this letter to let you know that I am extremely sorry for such a worst behavior. It’s my one and only chance of taking alcohol mom. And I promise that I won’t drink it never ever again. It makes me so awful when you mad or disappointed with me. I know that I made a huge mistake. This kind of behavior from me is very disrespectful.
I am also sorry for being so rude and saying mean things to you. I know that even when I am gone mad, it’s not ok to say such bad things like that to you. I know mom, you love me and want what’s best for me. I will remember that next time. I can’t forget the way you look at me last night. Your sad eyes explained to me that I broke your heart very badly by my act.
If my words can give you a little bit of comfort, please my lovely mom, accept my apology and give me another chance to prove my words. Please, believe me, mom. This time, I will not let you down.
Although this year has been a dumpster fire floating on a lazy river of doom and despair, we live in a mostly modern and enlightened era. People from all walks of life are being much more honest about how certain actions make them feel. However, as we learn from people in marginalized communities what not to do, past bad behavior of all sorts continues to come to light. Some of us who are realizing our prior faults might want to apologize to an old friend or family member for something they did months, years, or even decades ago. When it’s a past offense that you want to take responsibility for, how do you effectively and sincerely apologize?
Most of us are taught the “proper” way to apologize as kids in elementary school: Suck it up, verbally apologize for doing what you did, and move on. For adults, it’s a little more complex (just like the things we need to apologize for).
There are actually multiple parts to crafting a proper apology for something you did long in the past. For the sake of this article, I’m using the time I punched my bully in the face in grade school for an example of something I did a long time ago that I’d want to apologize for. While this isn’t the same as saying something racist or homophobic — which what the majority of brands and celebrities tend to need to apologize for — it is an immature, ignorant form of problem-solving.
To convey a respectful apology, first, you need to acknowledge what you did and how it hurt the other person. If not just me saying, “sorry I punched you,” it’s first realizing I physically hurt this person, regardless of my reasons. “People need to know you truly understand how your actions were hurtful to feel your sincerity,” says Brian Wind, a Tennessee-based psychologist and chief clinical officer at alcohol and drug treatment centre, JourneyPure (where atoning for past wrongs are a part of self-healing). “If you’re apologizing after a long time, acknowledge it. Explain why it took you that amount of time to apologize, as sometimes a person may be more upset with the fact that you didn’t see a need to apologize rather than the action that hurt them.”
Second is the actual apology. Before you blurt out your sorries, think about whether the apology will make the person feel better or not. One just needs to take a look at the Popular Brands Sorry For Racism Tour of 2020 for examples of apologies that only help the parties who are “sorry” but not the folks affected. A true apology takes the feelings of the person you’re saying sorry to you higher than your own. So, truly: Consider whether this person even wants to hear from you or if a text or DM might upset them further.
“Tell them you’d like to make a sincere apology and ask them when they would be able to listen to one,” says Wyatt Fisher, a Colorado-based psychologist. “If they agree, it’s highly unlikely making a sincere apology in the way outlined above would re-offend them. Saying sorry is a step in the direction towards healing any lingering resentment the other person may have towards you.”
In my situation, I don’t think my former classmate would even remember the event, so hopefully approaching him with a sincere sorry wouldn’t be painful for him. However, apologies come in all forms for many actions, so the action you want to apologize for might be truly painful to rehash. If it is, but you still feel you need to say sorry, think about how you can talk about the subject in a way that doesn’t inflict more emotional pain. “And accept the other person’s response, whether it is hurtful or gracious,” Wind adds. Anyone in a bad relationship has known both sides of that coin, that’s for sure.
For celebrities, Instagram in concert with the Notes app have become vehicles for saying sorry in the most impersonal of ways, but for us everyday folk, sincerity is key to a best apology. You’re doing this for emotional growth, and to try and do right by someone you wronged, so accept the possibility that whoever you’re apologizing to won’t forgive you. “Don’t expect forgiveness and accept their reaction,” Wind says. “While there’s a chance the person will refuse to forgive you, there’s also a chance that they will and be willing to rebuild their relationship with you.”
The last part of a good apology is, making amends. “By offering to do something to make things right with them, [it shows that you may] want to restore the relationship,” Fisher adds. Offering something could mean a promise to not behave similarly again, and to be more cognizant of your actions — which is about community more than anything else. When it comes to something you’re apologizing for in the past, whether it’s a grade school scuffle or a decades-long disagreement, think about whether saying sorry is for both of you, or just yourself. And act accordingly. That’s the difference between a “sorry” and actual change.
A t least their apologies are getting better. Men accused of harassment and assault seem to be learning from the backlash over previous, inadequate apologies made by men like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, and are issuing more eloquent and sincere-seeming mea culpas.
Louis CK’s “there is nothing about this that I forgive myself for” and Senator Al Franken’s admission of shame seem to have deflected at least some of the outrage their original actions provoked. But we have to ask: what comes after the apology? What professional and personal repercussions are an adequate and proportional response to these accusations?
It is important that we begin to have this conversation, because the accusations are not stopping and many industries are struggling to figure out how to respond. All kinds of predators are willing and eager to step into this chaos and uncertainty and use it to their advantage.
When justice fails, that leaves the door open for revenge. And the justice system has been failing women for a very, very long time. Violence against women, particularly these more intimate forms of violence like rape, domestic abuse, stalking and harassment, has been and is inadequately investigated and prosecuted, from the lack of enforcement for restraining orders to disbelieving victims to untested rape kits left to languish for decades. Even if people with scores of accusers over decades, like Bill Cosby, do make it to trial, convictions are not sure things.
Even if every accusation met the burden required for prosecution, from getting through an evidentiary hearing to being within the statute of limitations, one does have to wonder if the justice system is the right place to try some of these cases. Not only because the American justice system sometimes seems as if it were built explicitly to be biased against female victims, but because the justice system is, to put it frankly, broken.
Just the other week an investigation by the Sarasota Herald-Tribune showed that black defendants receive longer sentences than white defendants for the same crime. We regularly hear reports of coerced confessions, abuse of power by police and district attorneys’ offices, overreaches by judges looking to get re-elected. Not to mention the post-apocalyptic nature of our prison system, where guards often feel free to abuse prisoners and rehabilitation is less the goal than the total destruction of the prisoner’s soul.
But what that leaves us with to adjudicate these cases is the court of public opinion, where revenge is free to reign. Without some kind of arbiter, the punishment can be disproportionate to the violation and accusations can be difficult to investigate properly. When a member of the band PWR BTTM was accused of sexual assault, they began losing gigs and contracts immediately, without the accusation going to court or substantiated with evidence.
Though rare, people can and do lose their livelihoods just from uninvestigated accusations now, making accusations of sexual harassment newly politically useful to competitors and enemies. We risk leaving the ground open for false accusations and politically motivated hit jobs to take over, and we women should absolutely be concerned about what is done in the name of our “safety”.
Which is why we need some sort of societal standard in place, a method of weighing harm and consequences. We should not be complacent with the idea that it does not matter if innocent men get caught up in this – the goal should always be improvement of conditions for all, not replacing one slapdash and unfair system with another.
Nor do all the jokes about how only women should be allowed to run things really help anything. Just last year, multiple women were accused of harassing and exploiting their employees at companies like Thinx and Nasty Gal. We should not be thinking about this as eliminating one bad person, we should be thinking about dismantling and replacing the system that encourages and protects abuse of power.
Now that you’re in the hot seat, it may strike you as odd that you often hear that “everyone makes mistakes” but you hardly ever hear “everyone knows how to apologize.” The two go hand-in-hand –or at least, they ought to, if you want to take the first step in rebuilding a work relationship. Apologizing for displaying a negative attitude in the workplace is no small undertaking. You must muster courage, empathy and integrity to extend a four-pronged olive branch: accept responsibility, show remorse for your words and actions, make amends and give your coworkers time to air their frustrations. It’s some juggling act, but you can pull it off when you frame your apology carefully and then take steps to repair your fractured work relationships.
Recognize the Value of an Apology
Looking back, your parents may have introduced you to the importance of being accountable by prompting you to say you were sorry as a child – maybe even when you didn’t quite understand what you did wrong. But meaningful apologies are the undisputed terrain of adults, who hopefully have acquired the sensibility to understand that their words or actions have affected someone else. In this way, “the art of the apology” is a learned skill, and it’s an important one for two reasons, Wavelength says. Assuming that it’s sincere, an apology represents:
- Proof of remorse.
- Acknowledgment that someone else has been wounded – a realization children hone as they mature.
Despite the influence of maturity, you may know people who never apologize, even when they should, and people who say they’re sorry compulsively – almost as a reflexive response to an uncomfortable situation. Neither tact strikes the right chord, and neither usually does much to ease hurt feelings, re-establish trust and rebuild relations.
Even with the stakes this high, apologies can be difficult to extend. But when it comes to workplace dust-ups, not apologizing could make matters even worse. Perhaps this is why even mature adults send (or consider sending) “sorry for my mistake” messages via email or text. The desire to avoid a face-to-face confrontation can run deep. And it’s true that you really won’t know how the other person (or people) will respond to an apology until the words spill out of your mouth.
While written forms of apology are probably better than no apology at all, a face-to-face mea culpa is one way that adults can “own” a mistake. In this sense of the word, ownership can free you from the guilt you may feel for displaying a negative attitude and communicate to your coworker that you care enough about him that you are taking the time to broach a touchy topic. It’s a peaceful step toward reconciliation – all because you recognize the value of an apology.
Create an Apology Backdrop
Of course, there’s more to an apology than choking out two small but substantial words (“I’m sorry”). Biospace suggests forming an apology against an informed backdrop that includes:
- Putting yourself in the other person’s position. This thought process will help you with the next step, too. But for now, it’s helpful to know how you would feel if the situation were reversed.
- Invoking the word “I” – the best way to own bad behavior. In other words, it’s better to say, “I am very sorry for my attitude,” than, “An attitude was displayed that didn’t help our work relationship.”
- Relegating excuses to the childhood heap of memories: “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help. ” Tagging a “but” onto an apology undercuts its sincerity.
- Adding conditions to that heap. Saying “I’m sorry if you took offense…” or “I’m sorry if you took something I said the wrong way…” implies that you really don’t see the error in your ways.
- Forgoing a rambling discourse. Understandably, nervousness causes some people to chatter. But apologies are best received when they’re short and direct rather than long and obtuse.
Eye contact can be a powerful apology companion, too. In fact, steeling yourself to look someone directly in the eye – not at their shoe or your surroundings – could mean more to your coworkers than your actual “sorry.” Eye contact can also help fill those awkward silences that apologies have a way of spawning. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then certainly a look of genuine concern can speak volumes – even if the “right” words happen to elude you at a critical moment in the conversation.
Craft an Apology for the Ages
Many people find it helpful to write an apology beforehand – not to deliver it word for word, but to help them clarify their thoughts. This may be a particularly smart move if your apology will include supervisors, who almost certainly will be observing how you put this episode to rest.
So working from your sensible backdrop, scribble an apology that:
- Teems with sincerity. Instead of searching the internet for sorry quotes, you should write from the heart. It shouldn’t sound forced – it should sound like you – but the tone should be solemn.
- Accepts full responsibility: “I am very sorry for displaying a negative attitude during our planning sessions.”
- Provides a rationale without making an excuse: “I have serious misgivings about the direction of this project, which I should have shared with the boss. Instead, I directed my bad attitude to my coworkers. This was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
- Validates the other person’s feelings (or what you perceive his feelings to be): “I can totally understand where you probably came to dread my presence at those meetings. Nobody likes being around someone with a negative attitude; it’s counterproductive. I hope you can forgive me.”
- Shows that you’ve been humbled by and have learned from the experience: “I have since communicated my concerns about this project to the boss. I should have done this in the first place. We will be having another planning meeting this afternoon, and I promise you that I will offer only constructive ideas from this point forward.”
- Asks what you can do to make amends. Whether you have 100 ideas or none at all, give the other person a chance to speak first. Like many people in an awkward spot, he may joke: “How ‘bout buying me lunch?” If the idea isn’t unreasonable, by all means: take the suggestion to show your good faith.
Express your wish to move on from this episode, but cede the floor to questions or comments first. Listening politely while the other person has his say is like laying the floor of the foundation of your newfound work relationship.
Cover Your Bases
Once you’ve gone through these steps, a few realizations may dawn on you:
You feel better already – maybe not fully absolved, but better.
Extending a heartfelt apology can be fraught with challenges, and you’ve conquered them all. (It’s worth a pat on the back.)
Now, by and large, it’s up to the other person to be gracious and show forgiveness.
A few other survival tips from LinkedIn may help ensure that you rebuild strong and durable work relationships:
It is possible that you may have to behave in an inappropriate manner to someone at your workplace. This must have happened because of a sudden burst of emotions. Whatever the cause, if you were the one to misbehave, apologizing to that person is a must, if you need to continue having a peaceful work environment. Sometimes situations may be such that you can’t directly apologize to your co-worker. Apology letters are to be used in those cases.
Apology letters are a great way to make peace with your co-worker or anyone around you with whom you behaved in a bad manner or in a wrong way. It is simple to hurt someone, but it’s rather difficult to make an apology. While writing an apology letter for your behavior should be completely truthful, sincere and the letter should be from the heart. If you damage your relationship due to your behavior, you must fix all the problems and renew your relationship with the other person. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone dares to take responsibility, admit fault and say sorry.
Table of Contents
Sample Behavior Apology Letter Writing Tips
- Just get to the point and simple start with apologizing.
- Make a sincere apology to amend all what all you have done wrong.
- Take responsibility for your fault and say sorry.
- Writing letter means you are putting your mistakes on paper and accepting it.
- Sincerely apologize and tell them it won’t happen again.
- It is very much important to express your feeling towards the person and renew your relationship.
Sample Behavior Apology Letter Template
Use our free Sample Behavior Apology Letter to help you get started. If you need additional help or more examples check out some of the sample letters below.
Dear _____(Name of the Recipient),
I would like to sincerely apologize for my behavior on ___________(date on which the incident happened). I was very stressed because of the work pressure and got carried away. However, this is not an excuse for what I did and for the way I behaved. I am sorry for ______ (What was the Kind of Wrong Attitude or Behavior You Behaved).
I hope you will overlook my behavior and forgive me this time. I have been under your supervision from past one year, and I am sure you will believe that I have never reacted like this before. Please forgive me this time and I hope that this will not affect our relationship. I would assure you that I will not repeat such kind of behavior in the future.
I sincerely look forward to your nobility.
(Name and Signature)
29th March 2015
I would like to sincerely apologize for my behavior last Friday. I was very stressed because of the work pressure and got carried away. However, this is not an excuse for what I did and for the way I behaved. I am sorry for being rude when you requested some assistance.
I hope you will overlook my behavior and forgive me this time. I have been under your supervision from past one year, and I am sure you will believe that I have never reacted like this before. Please forgive me this time and I hope that this will not affect our relationship. I would assure you that I will not repeat such kind of behavior in the future.
I sincerely look forward to your nobility.
I would like to sincerely apologize for my behavior on (date). I was very stressed because of the work pressure and got carried away when all the other team members decided to speak against you. But in the end, it was only me who spoke rudely about the overtime. It’s only when I went back home I realized that I should have rather asked for a meeting with you where I could speak up my problems rather than making it a public issue.
I know that work pressure is no excuse for my behavior, but I hope you will overlook my behavior and forgive me this time. I have been under your supervision from past one year, and I am sure you would believe that I have never reacted like this before, please forgive me this time and I hope that this will not affect our work relationship. I would assure you that I will not repeat such kind of behavior in future.
Carefully crafted apologies can open the door to healing, or, with different intent, open the door to continued abuse. Their power comes from phrasing, nonverbal signals, and the surrounding context of the interaction.
We’re all learning
Few of us learned about good apologies growing up. Instead of modeling genuine apology, many parents force children to voice a sullen, “I’m sorry,” often followed by an unspoken, “… that I got caught.” Did you receive apologies from adults as a child? What were they like?
In abusive environments, apologies are often associated with weakness and shame instead of connection and healing. As you read about apologies, do you notice shame or other emotions arising?
An apology acknowledges the speaker’s boundary violation or transgression against someone, either spontaneously or in response to an expressed boundary. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” or “I’m sorry to hear that,” are expressions of sorrow and sympathy rather than apologies, and are not covered here.
Good apology: Focused on the recipient
A good apology focuses on the recipient’s emotions and the speaker’s actions. It expresses authentic regret, takes responsibility, and stops. The speaker then actively listens to anything the apology recipient wants to say.
“I’m sorry I’m late. I know it’s annoying to be kept waiting. Next time I’ll leave earlier.” This creates room to talk about how it felt to wait. The recipient may feel relief, and a sense of being seen.
Good apologies validate the importance of the recipient’s experience. For small transgressions, they nourish connection. For big transgressions such as past abuse, they can lift a burden of self-blame and confusion by making it clear the abuse was never the recipient’s fault.
Bad apology: Focused on the speaker
Bad apologies focus on the speaker’s feelings and make excuses rather than taking responsibility. “I’m so sorry I’m late! I feel terrible to keep you waiting, but traffic was snarled and I’m so busy these days.” This is all about the speaker and leaves no room for the recipient’s emotions. The recipient may feel annoyance, disconnection and a sense of being erased.
Another form of bad apology is “I’m sorry if you’re offended,” which evades responsibility for causing offense. Better options are, “I’m sorry I offended you,” or “I’m sorry I phrased that offensively,” or “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
Too many rain checks
Any repeated apology is a bad apology, no matter how carefully phrased. An apology is like a rain check promising future respectful treatment. If transgressions continue, repeated apologies are like a stack of rain checks for items that never come back in stock.
Abusive apology: Focused on control
Abusive apologies blame the recipient for what went wrong. Tone and body language convey a manipulative demand for appeasement or forgiveness. “I’m sorry I’m late, but you’re the one who chose to meet at rush hour.” The recipient may feel fear, anger, or distrust, and may reflexively apologize in turn to reduce tension.
An abusive apology can be stand-alone victim-blaming or part of a cycle of abuse.
- Phase 1: Tension builds
- Phase 2: Abuse occurs: emotional, physical, and/or sexual violence
- Phase 3: Reconciliation, including abusive apologies
- Phase 4: Calm, normalcy, until next time
Apologies mixed with boundaries
In the hall of mirrors of an abusive environment, a victim’s attempt to both apologize and express a boundary can come out just like an abusive apology. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, but you kept interrupting me.” Someone focused on control might respond, “That’s not a proper apology!”
If you mix apologies with boundaries, take a step back and look at the power dynamics of the interaction. Consider separating your apologies from your boundary statements. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m working on handling irritation differently.” Then listen. In a separate conversation, you can say, “Interruptions make it hard for me to communicate.”
“I’m sorry I exist”
The shame of abusive behavior is often deflected onto the victims, who find themselves apologizing for anything and everything. Notice how often you apologize. Are you apologizing for existing, for taking up space, for having boundaries and preferences? Remind yourself that you never deserved abuse, and you have the right to take up space. Frequent apologies can be a holdover from past abuse, or a sign of lack of safety in the present.
Many abuse survivors carry a dream that the perpetrator will finally see the survivor clearly, be horror-struck at causing pain, and issue a heartfelt apology. Those dreams rarely come true, but contain a seed of truth: each survivor’s underlying faith in deserving care rather than abuse.
Are you waiting for someone to apologize to you? Write a letter to yourself with exactly the apology you desire. This is what you know you deserve. How does it feel to read it and take it in? Can you allow more of that feeling in your life, even though the transgressor remains unapologetic?
Is there an apology you carry inside about a past transgression you committed against someone else or yourself? Write it down, expressing your genuine regret and taking responsibility for what happened. How does it feel to put your regret into words? If it would do no harm to you or to the recipient, consider sending your apology, even if a lot of time has passed.
Forgiveness not required
When you receive an apology, no matter what kind, stay connected with how you feel. You may notice relief, annoyance, fear, or a mixture of emotions. You do not have to forgive in response to an apology. Forgiveness is private and internal, and happens in its own time. “Thank you” is a sufficient response, until and unless you want to share more about your truth.
As you give and receive apologies with thoughtful care, you can repair connections in your life that nourish you. Awareness of your internal responses helps you notice when apologies play a manipulative role.
In I Thought We’d Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation, Laura Davis offers concrete suggestions for evaluating the possibility of reconciliation and moving toward it, including the role of apologies.
The Portly Dyke’s article about Acknowledgement, Apology, Amends, and Action is wise, funny, and contains some cussing.
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I want to apologize for my inappropriate behavior with a most senior colleague of the company last Thursday. I had never anticipated myself to behave like that and to create agitation at the workplace but the situation, on that day, became such that I lost my temper and hostile behavior was shown by me. I was extremely annoyed by an unseen pressure and as a result, I could not hold myself that day for which I am extremely sorry and seek an apology.
I know that company has made strong policies for creating a mess at the workplace and violators have been dealt with strictly in the past. Mr. Adam is the senior-most employee of the company and is respected by each and every staff member. I admit that I misbehaved with him and used such abusive language which is not acceptable at any workplace and in this way, I showed non-compliance with the disciplinary policy of the company and, as a result, I was awarded a suspension letter.
I truly understand that I was wrong in terms of my behavior and I realize that I should apologize for this act of mine which caused a disturbance. To err is the human. Considering this fact, please accept my apology because I am regretting my act and really sorry for that. Also, I request you to allow me to resume my job and give me a second chance to rectify myself. I promise that this kind of act would never be repeated in the future. I will always show compliance with the disciplinary policies of the company and control my anger as well.
Considering my past record in this company, I hope that you will understand my condition, accept my sincere apology and allow me to rejoin my position. I am waiting for your positive response in this regard and thank you in anticipation.
Subject: Apology to employer asking for second chance
I wish you to take a minute and read this letter of mine in which I am truly sorry for my actions which took the form of misbehavior. Through this letter, I hereby make my formal apology for not following the company disciplinary policy. I have realized soon after my misconduct that my behavior was not acceptable at any kind of workplace, it was harmful to the company’s reputation and distorted its image in the market and this thing made me feel more guilty because I have been serving in this company for last ten years and I had never expected myself to behave like that.
It was informed to me through a letter on [date] after the disciplinary committee meeting that I have been held responsible for creating agitation in the office and making the workplace environment hostile. Although I admit my mistake but have the right to tell you about the factor behind my mistake. I really had no intention to act like that but, owing to a serious family problem, I was worried and therefore, could not control myself and became hostile.
I know that I had no right to let my family matters interfere with office work but I could not do so. On other hand, I am ashamed of my actions and now want to rectify them. Although I know that I have no right to ask you for a second chance but, considering it my mistake, which was carried out unintentionally, please allow me a second chance to serve this company.
I hereby assure you that I have traced out the real source of this problem and working to cope with it. Also, I promise that this kind of act would never be repeated in the future and you will not receive any complaints about my behavior. Please accept my apology for my act and grant me another chance to serve the company. I shall be very thankful to you.
Write this brief letter as soon as possible after the incident. Often this apology is best expressed with a handwritten note. Even so, these suggestions can help you organize your thoughts.
1 . Begin with a straightforward apology. Do not rehash the incident, but be specific enough that your reader will know that you acknowledge your error.
- I am sorry for the way I acted at your party last night. I could tell that you had put a lot of work into making sure everyone was having a good time. Everyone was, until my unfortunate outburst.
- I am sorry for the way I behaved at last night’s game. I was in a bad disposition and should have stayed home.
- I am sorry for my behavior at the office party last night. I had no right to take any liberties with you.
- Jane, I apologize for the joke that I told at yesterday’s meeting. It was offensive and inappropriate. When I first began to write this letter, I thought I might say, “Had I known you were there, I would not have told that kind of joke,” but I realize now that sexist jokes are never appropriate.
- John, I apologize for my bad taste at yesterday’s meeting. My attempt at humor was offensive and inappropriate. My wife helped me realize that ethnic jokes are never appropriate.
- apologize for the ethnic remarks I made
- apologize for the joke that I told at
- apologize for my behavior that
- apologize for making your job harder
- apologize for the sexist joke I made in
- apologize for the rude comment I made at
- apologize for letting my personal life get in the way of
- deeply sorry that I
- deeply regret my behavior
- didn’t intend my comments to be
- ethnic jokes are never
- feel terrible that
- hope you can forgive me for
- made a fool of myself
- my attempt at humor was inappropriate
- need to respect others’ beliefs
- not sure how I can possibly
- realize I was insensitive
- should have been more considerate
- sorry for the way I acted at your party
- sorry for what I did to you last night
- sorry I offended those who
- sorry for the way I behaved at last night’s game
- there is no excuse for what I did
- truly regret that
- was offensive and inappropriate
- what I said was in bad taste
2 . Acknowledge the reader's feelings, if appropriate.
- Thank you for the way you handled the incident at the time. I am sure what I said must have caused you some embarrassment. You showed remarkable restraint in quietly asking me to leave.
- I know that your job as a referee is hard enough without fans challenging your calls. I respect the job you do and apologize for making it harder.
- I realize now that it must be painful to listen to jokes like the one I told. I promise you that neither you nor anyone else will ever hear one from me again.
- You showed remarkable restraint at my offensive act. I can only image how upset you must have been.
- I can imagine how upset you must have been. I am grateful for the patience you showed me after the incident.
- can only imagine how upset you must have been
- didn’t realize how hurtful such words can be
- feel terrible that you were subjected to
- how awful it sounded
- must be frustrating to have to listen to
- my remarks must have made you feel
- my stubborn attitude must have made you feel
- are kind for being so tolerant of me
- realize how bad it made you feel
- sorry that you felt so bad
- sorry you had to suffer
- such hurtful comments are
- thoughtless words must have caused you
- understand how you must feel
- what I said must have caused
- your gracious behavior in the face of hurtful remarks
- your job is hard enough without
3 . Ask for forgiveness and indicate that you value your relationship with the reader.
It is not a secret that everybody makes mistakes. During the whole life we ask forgiveness hundreds of times. But it is very important to do it in a right way. This essay will teach you how in polite and writing form you can apologize.
Every day at school or university students misbehave, do not respect their teachers and professors. Sometimes they are ashamed of their behavior and decide to ask forgiveness. You are going to read useful information about apology essay to teacher. Here you will find some important advises, which can make the process of apologizing much more easily. Our custom writing service was created to help you with your home tasks. Visit our website and read about our team, prices and services.
And now let us discuss how we should ask forgiveness. It is easy to learn it.
Apology Or Forgiveness
Usually apology appears as a result of conflict or unpleasant situation. Apology is the same as forgiveness. Everybody is responsible for his/her words and actions. Sometimes we can hurt someone and it is very important to apology, of course, if you are really sorry for what happened. Your request for forgiveness must be sincere, otherwise hypocrisy is very easy to recognize. It is also very important to forgive the person who wronged you.
In some cases people ask forgiveness for the actions they did not perform. It shows good manners and upbringing of the person and the fact that he/she is really ashamed that something happened. For example, nowadays German people can ask forgiveness for the Second World War. And it does not matter that we do not remember that time.
Don’t forget to apologize for your actions. It is very important in our life. Thanks to forgiveness, such things as hate, offence, fear, angry can disappear forever. We should learn to apologize and learn to forgive. Only then our life will become brighter, easier and more fun. Remember the golden rule of our life, which is written in the Bible – do for others, what you want them to do for you!
Let’s give an example of the reason for an apology letter. It will be from the student’s life. It is not easy to be a teacher. And one of the reasons is student’s behavior. Sometimes it can be impolite, disrespectful and even cruel. Teacher feels upset after such moments. Some students hate to be corrected and they decide to revenge on their teachers. But, as a rule, such behavior has no positive results.
Your relationship with the teacher is spoiled and the lesson is disrupted. If the student is really sorry for his actions, he or she should apologize. Of course, it is not an easy thing. It is usually easier to offend somebody rather than apologize. If you cannot talk face to face, than to write an apology letter – is the best decision. Сatcher in the rye essay is the best description of student’s misbehavior.
An apology letter – what is it?
An apology letter – it is the formal letter, which you write with the aim to apologize. It may be handwriting or electronic type of the letter. Apology letters may be addressed to the customer, friend, teacher, parents, boss, girlfriend etc. A reason for such kind of letter also may be different – a mistake, lateness, misbehavior, late payment, breaking some rules etc. If you want to be successful in our society, then you should tell “I am sorry” from time to time. This simple phrase is a key to happy life and happy relationships. It is important to remember, that you cannot be right forever.
How to write an apology letter
If you feel that you made something wrong, or offended somebody you should apologize. If you don’t want to tell it face by face or just have not such an opportunity, then it is better to write the apology letter. But to write such kind of apologizing you should know general rules.
1) Start your letter with the words of apology. And be careful, try to avoid such words as “but, if, maybe”. Sometimes when you just want to explain what happened, other person can think that you decide to shift your blame on another person, or even to avoid responsibility for your own words and actions. So, think what you are writing about, and in what manner.
2) Clearly explain what happened and for what exactly do you apologize. Write in such a manner, that it will be easy to believe in your sincerity. Don’t use the general phrases, but write specifically and essentially.
3) “I’m sorry that you feel that way” –never write sentences like this. You should apologize only for your bad behavior but not for somebody’s feelings. If you want to make your letter more sincere, than avoid the construction “I would like to”. Instead of these words just say, that you are really sorry. It sounds more frankly.
4) You should necessarily make the conclusion. At first tell that you draw conclusions from this situation, and in future you will try to avoid such mistakes. The end of your letter should be almost positive. Check if the general tone of you letter is respectful and kind. Give your letter to read somebody else before sending.
Socrates was a great man in the ancient times. He was known for his eloquence. Socrates never taught his followers, he lived simply setting an example for others. On the Internet you can find a lot of Socrates works. Especially in Socrates apology essay, the author does not criticize his accusers. It looks like the great philosopher forgave all his enemies. We can take an example from his life.
Never be afraid to apologize. If you did something wrong, then it is the best way to solve the conflict or a problem. Sometimes if the relationships are very important, despite everything you will ask forgiveness. And it does not matter was it your fault or not.
One of the biggest misconceptions about difficult conversations is that success equals hearing an apology. It might feel like your duty to make someone feel anguish, guilt, or responsibility for their role in whatever happened. And you might even believe you’re doing them a favor by making them say “I’m sorry.” But hearing the words, “I’m sorry” is no guarantee of changed behavior.
Consider the following scenario:
Val and Joe sit in adjoining cubes. Joe likes to listen to music while he works and usually Val is OK with that. But today Val is struggling to focus. So, he peers over their shared cubicle wall and says, “Hey Joe, your music’s at a seven but I could really use it at a four today, okay?” Joe responds by turning the volume louder.
Whether it’s addressing a noise issue, an acidic attitude, chronic tardiness, or some other undesirable behavior, you’ve no doubt found yourself in Val’s shoes. And you probably felt the urge say “Hey, stop being a jerk and just apologize already.” But that’s a conversation that typically fails. Let’s take a look:
Val: “Come on Joe. I tolerate your music every day and never say a word. Can’t you please just do the right thing and apologize?”
Joe: “Gee, I’m sorry I make your life so difficult. I’m on my way to lunch anyway, so sure, I’ll turn it down . . . for now.”
Val: “What, are we twelve years old here? Please, just admit you’re wrong and let’s move past this.”
Joe: “I wouldn’t even have to play music if you didn’t make so much noise. I do it to drown you out.”
Val: “That isn’t true, Joe, and you know it.
Joe: “Oh, so now you’re calling me a liar!”
It may seem plausible that you can get someone to change if you make them feel bad for whatever it is they have done. But trying to force an apology out of someone only jeopardizes any chance of real change.
All That Matters Is Coming To An Agreement On What Needs To Change
It’s commonly believed that getting someone to admit they’re wrong is a great way to get them to admit that you’re right. If only it were that easy! We may feel justified in trying to force an apology, but humans have myriad mental contortions they can adopt to avoid admitting they’re wrong.
Do you remember the movie “A Christmas Story”? It’s the 1940’s adventures of a boy named Ralphie as he tries to convince his parents and Santa to give him a Red Ryder B.B. gun for Christmas. Along the way, Ralphie makes a few mistakes and gets punished by having his mouth washed out with soap. In anger, Ralphie fantasizes that he goes blind and when his parents ask what happened he says, with dramatic effect, “It . . . It was . . . soap poisoning!”
Ralphie is a movie character, but many people harbor fantasies in which the person who wronged us suffers some karmic retribution. We want them to feel horrible for blinding us with their soap, not turning down their music, failing to complete a project, being late to the office, botching a sales presentation, or rejecting our brilliant ideas. But as enjoyable as those fantasies may be, they’re ultimately just that; fantasies.
When someone messes up, it’s not the time to blow off steam, exact revenge or enjoy some karmic retribution. You want to get the other person to hear, accept, and act on the truth you’re sharing. This requires a Truth Talk, a timely, candid, unemotional, objective and specific conversation where you and the other person partner in creating real and permanent change.
Now, explaining to people what they need to change might seem like a simple task, But a study was conducted of 30,000 employees called “Fewer Than Half Of Employees Know If They’re Doing A Good Job.” And among the numerous findings, only 29% of employees say they “always” know whether their performance is where it should be.
So, before you start any difficult conversation, say these words to yourself; “It doesn’t matter if this person apologizes, all that matters is that we come to an agreement about what and how they’re going to change.”
Whether people apologize is much less important than their understanding whether their performance is where it should be, and if it’s not, exactly what they need to change. And that one sentence sets a radically different metric for assessing the success of the conversation. Meaningless apologies are hollow when compared with real change. And which would you rather have; someone who apologizes for today’s transgression but remains at high risk for doing it again, or someone who doesn’t apologize, but fundamentally changes their behavior for the better?
Two minutes after you see a blur of Oliver and Emma scream through the hallway, you hear a major crash in the living room. Immediately, you start berating the kids for running in the house. You head into the room, still yelling, only to find the cat sitting on the end table where the lamp once sat.
You turn around to find your kids staring at you with hurt faces and looks of disbelief that you blamed this on them.
We all make mistakes, and we need to teach our kids – by our own example – to own up to those faults, even when it’s really embarrassing for us.
Or even when we feel provoked by something our kids have done– like when we finally lose it after listening to our kids whine about something for 10 minutes.
The most important thing to remember is to stay calm and be sincere with your apology.
Follow these 7 steps the next time an apology is in order:
1. Own your feelings and take responsibility for them.
It’s okay to be frustrated and it’s okay to be upset sometimes – we tell our kids this all the time. Just remember that how we respond to those feelings isn’t always okay. It’s not okay to yell or slam doors. Your kids are watching – so don’t react in a way that you would not want them to emulate.
2. Connect the feeling to the action.
Explain in your apology why you felt the way you did. What happened that caused you to react that way? Just don’t use this as a chance to place blame (“I’m sorry I yelled, but I wouldn’t have hurt my foot if you had picked up your cars.”)
3. Apologize for the action.
Point out which action of yours was inappropriate and explain why. Your kids will learn that they can’t act that way, either.
4. Recognize your child’s feelings.
Show them that you understand they were hurt or scared. If your action was sparked by something your kids did or didn’t do, make sure they understand that your affection is not based on them meeting your expectations.
5. Share how you plan to avoid this situation in the future.
This is a great opportunity to teach your child how to learn from our mistakes and improve ourselves. Be specific in what you aim to do to keep from blaming others or yelling, for example.
6. Ask for forgiveness.
This can be as simple as “can you forgive me?”
7. Focus on amends and solutions
Offer to discuss and work out solutions to the issue with your child.
Put It All Together
Put these steps together, and you have an apology that would go something like this:
I felt frustrated when you weren’t ready for school on time, but it was not okay for me to let out my anger by yelling at you. I’m so sorry I yelled. I’m sure that was scary and hurtful for you. I need to work harder to use my calm voice, so I put sticky notes around the house to remind me. Can you forgive me? I’d like to talk about how we can fix this problem and move forward.
Remember, apologizing to our kids when we make mistakes, as difficult as it may be sometimes, sets our kids up to recognize their own shortcomings and helps them learn to apologize as well. It also shows them it’s okay to make mistakes.
Kids that don’t experience many failures have trouble knowing what to do when problems do arise – they don’t have the confidence to take risks, they won’t courageously face their problems head-on or roll with the punches. In the long run, making mistakes and learning from them gives our kids more self-confidence and resiliency. And one way they can learn this is by watching their parents take responsibility for their own mistakes and learning from them.
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An apology letter due to offensive behavior is written by someone to apologize for his offensive behavior to another person. Note that the apology letter is written not as a justification for the behavior but rather as a sincere apology stating that the person is sorry for what he or she did. Hence the tone of the letter is apologetic. It is to be written both formally and informally.
Offensive behavior is undesirable, especially in corporate situations. But if such a situation takes place, it becomes imperative that an apology letter is written to smooth out relations. The companies reputation depends on how the employees interact with the companies clients. Most companies put customer service on top of their list of priorities because of the same. Thus, the apology letter for offensive behavior is a letter that includes points and reasons that lead to such behavior of yours.
Table of Contents
Tips To Write Apology Letter For Offensive Behavior:
- The first thing to be done is to write this letter as soon as possible after the incident occurs.
- The letter should be brief and to the point.
- Avoid rationalizing your view.
- A handwritten letter will give a personal touch to your apology.
- Don’t stress about what all happened that day, but make them feel that you have realized your mistake.
- Keep in mind the feelings of the reader while writing the letter.
- Apologize from your heart and also make the reader feel that you value your relationship with them.
- Always end the letter on a positive note and let the reader know that you are waiting for their reply.
Apology Letter For Offensive Behaviour Template
Use our free Apology Letter for Offensive Behavior to help you get started.
Earlier this week, we published an article about allegations that Valentina was being a diva behind the scenes at her shows. While a name was never mentioned in the initial post by Aurora Sexton, everyone assumed it was Valentina because she had just appeared the night before at the club Play in Nashville where Sexton performs.
Today, Sexton and the bar’s owner have come out to clear the air, making comments on social media clarifying that parts of the post weren’t about Valentina. Also, Sexton reveals Valentina has since apologized for what she did do at the bar last week that pissed Sexton off so much.
Sexton posted today:
A few days ago I called out the bad behavior of a few RPDR contestants that I found offensive against my club and co workers. As everyone knows by now it went viral and ignited a firestorm online.
Valentina was one of the entertainers I was referring to. While I did find her actions offensive, she was not the worst ( she was not the one demanding champagne and m&ms) and unfortunately took the brunt of the backlash.
Yesterday Valentina called me personally to apologize for her actions and we had a very nice talk. I don’t think she is a bad person. I was young and dumb once too. We all make mistakes. Whats important is that we learn and grow from them which she is very eager to do. Unfortunately she’s doing it in front of millions of people. She didn’t have to reach out to me but she did which was very big of her and I believe she was genuinely sorry.
Tonight she will be appearing at our sister club Play Louisville. I hope everyone will come out for a great show with the playmates and allow Valentina to make her apologies and show her fans the side I got to see yesterday. It’s never too late to change.
Many people assumed that the “red M&MS and champagne” were references to Valentina. However, the bar’s owner posted the following on Facebook, clarifying that nowhere in her rider were either of those items asked for.
What’s the most effective way to respond to someone who keeps apologizing for the same offense? Say, for example, that a co-worker is habitually late to work, and is forever apologizing for it, but does nothing to change that behavior? How do you accept their apology for their latest offense, but communicate that you don’t want it to happen again? This is part of a complete episode.
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I would just say “noted”. It shows you heard them and indicates that you have noted both their tardiness and their apology.
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Sample apology letter to victim. Apology letter for being disrespectful. Sincere apology letter. Letter of apology for bad behavior. Sample apology letter for harassment of any kind.
Sample Apologies Letter for Harassment to Colleague
City, ST ZIP Code
I’m waiting to you to apologise for the recent communication, incidents, and stress I have caused you these past weeks. I’m sorry for the two weeks I’ve been harassing you. All the silent phone calls, and the photos I was sending you. I’m sorry for stalking you following everywhere. I do sincerely hope you can forgive me.
Sample Apology Letter for Bad Behavior
Miss Rachael Mark,
I’m writing this letter to you so that I can apologize for my bad behavior with you yesterday at party. I know I’ve used abusive language as I was not in my senses, I was totally drunk at that time, and couldn’t able to control myself. I am so sorry for my attitude.
Please accept my apology.
Sample Apology Letter for Harassment
To: My fellow employees
San Francisco, California, United States
I write this letter with a heavy heart. I would like to say that I am extremely sorry for my recent behavior at the workplace. Lately, I have been going through some rough times at home, and I may have brought some of these emotions to me to the office. But it is no excuse for how I have treated some of you at the workplace.
We all have to deal with other situations in life, and I understand the workplace environment should be strictly work related.
My behavior has been unacceptable, and I apologize deeply. As much as some people would like to say, I am not this type of person. I know for a fact that I can be better, and I will be.
I hope you all give me a second chance.
San Francisco, California, United States
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Apologizing helps your child accept responsibility for a wrong and provides a tool to make things right again. It helps the child dig himself out of a hole. It clears the air, helps heal the relationship, and gives it a new beginning. To teach children to apologize, try these tips:
1. Model apologizing
When you’ve acted wrongly, admit it. Apologize when you overreact: “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that outburst. I’ve had a hard day.” I’ve said this to my children many times. Everyone makes mistakes; that’s life. Teach children to apologize by showing them that everyone apologizes; that makes life better. These are valuable lessons for a child to learn. Saying “sorry” to your child is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. Even “the boss” should apologize if his or her actions are unkind. A child who has never been apologized to won’t understand the apology process, and more than likely he’ll refuse, turning a potentially beneficial moment into a standoff with hurt feelings.
2. Start young
Toddlers quickly learn to give a hug to “make it better” when they hurt someone. If you model hugs for hurts at home, he’ll know just what to do. Once he’s calm and ready to hug, you can verbalize a simple apology and maybe help him say it with a hug.
3. Forgiveness follows apologies
Apologizing and forgiving need to happen after someone gets hurt or offended. For most everyday squabbles we tell our kids that we want them to “make peace” with whomever they are at odds with. It doesn’t need to be a formal apology scene. We leave it up to them to figure out what “make peace” means and how to do it. Sometimes they use words, sometimes they don’t. But we all know if they have or haven’t. In order to live in the same house together, siblings need to be at peace with one another. Apology without forgiveness is an incomplete process and part of how you teach children to apologize. For real healing to happen the one offended needs to “drop the charges” by saying “that’s okay” or “I forgive you.”
4. Say “excuse me”
Children belch, gulp, and fart – excuse me, pass gas. Boys especially delight in showing off their body sounds. If one unintentional belch gets laughter, you can imagine what will follow. But if these sounds meet with silence or mild disapproval from you, they will soon fizzle away. Teach children that, in company, breathing sounds (that is sneezing and coughing) are okay but digestive tract sounds are rude. When your child emits upper digestive tract sounds in your presence, look disapprovingly, and say “excuse me.” Require the older child to excuse himself. Passing gas is especially offending because of the odor accompanying the sound. As your child gets older he will learn he can control this function most of the time and do it in private. If passing gas becomes a habit, the offender will quickly be taught by peer disgust to keep it to himself. As kids mature a bit their gut sounds diminish; these offenses will soon be sounds of the past.
5. Stop manipulating feelings and orchestrate sincerity
Some children learn to parrot an “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” within a millisecond of the offense to avoid being “squealed on” or to get themselves off the hook quickly if parents force apologies. As you teach children to apologize, remember: parents can’t force feelings. Only the child knows how he feels. Forcing feelings can teach your child to fake apologies, that it’s okay to be insincere, or that forgiveness has to be an instant thing which is not real life. Depending on the ages of the children, their temperaments, the circumstances, and the emotions that may be flaring, a cooling-off period before an apology will be needed. A two-year-old who just kicked his sister may need a two-minute time-out on a chair, along with a reminder that kicking hurts, before he’s ready to hug her. A ten-year-old who slaps her sister for vicious teasing must deal with wounded pride before she’ll be able to remember how wrong it is to slap. It’s your job as a parent to make sure the apology happens so both children can start again with good feelings between them. But, you cannot make it happen. What you can do is model and instruct: “When people are at peace with each other they feel better inside.”
We all know that depending on what your zodiac sign is, you are more likely to act and think a certain way, and even have personal preferences that another sign might hate. You might be considered the chilled-out party girl or the studious, smarty pants, and while this might just be a part of your personality, it can also be affected by your zodiac sign.
Take how you react in certain situations, for example. When you hear great news, you might pop a bottle of champagne like an Aries or jump up and down like an excited kid like a Pisces would.
During an argument, you might come out swingin’ like Scorpio or just run away from your problems like a Libra. But however you deal with situations, one thing is always for sure: your sign can play a big part in how you react.
So, what happens after that argument ends? Do you kiss and make up like nothing happened or do you hold a grudge until the other person apologizes first?
I’m not saying some signs are more predictable than others when it comes to knowing how they will apologize, but. some signs are definitely predictable.
What makes an apology from each sign even better though is how they make it up to you. And by that I don’t mean they send an impersonal “sorry :(” text and hope that’s enough. In fact, some signs are downright touching when it comes to setting things right.
To find out how you say sorry and what makes your sign’s apology so personal, keep reading. And for some of you, use this as a guide to get better at apologizing. Just sayin’.
ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Aries may seem a little intimidating at first to those who don’t know her, but many first impressions about her are wrong.
People assume that because she is such a confident, assertive person, she doesn’t care if she hurts someone, but that’s simply not true.
People easily forget that Aries is incredibly honest, which means she isn’t afraid to either own up and apologize for her actions or stand up for herself (depending on the situation).
Aries will acknowledge when she’s wrong, but she will never apologize for something she didn’t do.
I know that, for the most part, you are a flawless goddess and everyone loves you. But I’m sure occasionally you do have to apologize, especially in your relationship, and you have to do it right. Because sometimes just saying "sorry" isn’t enough. When those times roll around, you’ll need to understand what makes a truly great and meaningful apology. It’s about so much more than admitting blame or feeling guilt. It’s about understanding how your partner feels, affirming their feelings, making them feel heard, finding real solutions, and then doing a little making up.
When I worked with couples as both a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Certified Responsible Sexuality Educator, I spent a lot of time teaching couples the right way to apologize. Egos, blame, anger, and frustration often get in the way of making meaningful progress in times of strife. And there’s no room for egos in a healthy relationship. OK, there’s a little room, but you can’t let it overshadow your willingness to roll up your sleeves, admit when you’re wrong, and do the work of cleaning up your emotional messes.
Sometimes that means making real, lasting change, and that’s a difficult thing to do. Especially if you’re set in your ways, or if you’re not used to compromising. It’s a skill that take practice, but you’ll get it down. Here are some basic steps to guide you through the perfect apology.
1. Check Your Tone
An insincere apology might as well be another shovelful of dirt on your relationship’s grave. It’s as insulting as it is irritating, and it doesn’t resolve anything. If you’re not ready to apologize, or you don’t mean it, don’t make things worse with an apology full of attitude. In other words, check yourself before you wreck yourself. It’s absolutely OK to take some time to think or cool off after a disagreement. Your partner will now if you’re just giving an empty apology, and it will only hurt your relationship.
2. Acknowledge Your Partner’s Feelings
Most of the time, when we feel hurt, we also really want to feel understood. Even if you don’t think you did anything wrong, it can only make your relationship stronger if you take the time to understand why your partner is angry or hurt instead of just giving a blanket apology. Try to see things from their perspective, and take into account that they likely have different feelings and perspectives on things than you do. Really try to empathize with your partner, in as caring and understand a way as possible.
3. Explain Where You Are Coming From
A lot of times, when we have disagreements in a relationship, it’s not because we were just setting out to be jerks. Sometimes we mean well, but we still say the wrong thing or do something thoughtless that we didn’t even realize we were doing. Just like you have to empathize with your partner, you have to ask your partner to empathize with you. Your partner probably knows that most of the time, you don’t set out to hurt them on purpose. Relay your intentions so your partner can understand that there was no malice in your actions.
4. Get To The Heart Of The Matter
Hurt feelings are usually deeper than just a reaction to careless words or a thoughtless mistake. Maybe your partner is mad at you because you were late for date night again. But that’s just the surface issue. It’s probably that your partner is really feeling like they are not a priority, or that you’re not putting as much effort into the relationship. Don’t just focus your apology on on the mistake (the lateness). Delve into the deeper issue (your priorities). This is the true difference between a meaningless apology to save face and a thoughtful apology to resolve an issue.
5. Make A Plan For Change
Once you’ve apologized, and gotten to the heart of what’s really wrong, you need to resolve things by making a meaningful plan for change. This could be something as simple as saying "I will consult you before I make large purchases" or as complex as saying "I will do everything I can to rearrange my schedule and make sure our relationship is a top priority in my life." And even though you’re the one doing the apologizing, there’s plenty of room for compromise here, and changes from your partner as well. Making an action plan shows you’re both committed to each other’s happiness and the success of your relationship. It makes an apology that much more meaningful because it’s backed by action.
6. Show You Mean What You Say
There’s no point in making a plan to change your inconsiderate behavior if you’re not going to follow through. You’ll just end up back at square one with more apologizing to do, and a partner who is growing tired of hearing it. If you are not happy with your compromise or the solutions you came up with together, make new ones. Don’t just backslide into behaviors you know make your partner upset. That’s basically telling your partner that you weren’t serious about your apologies or about the solutions you both came up with. You have to follow through.
7. Remind Your Partner How Much You Love Them
Don’t confuse this step with buying off your partner. A gift doesn’t make up for bad behavior, and your partner isn’t someone who can be bought off. What you’re doing here is simply reminding your partner that they are appreciated, loved, and special. You’re adding a rainbow to the end of the rain. It doesn’t have to be a gift, either. It could be a heartfelt gesture, extra snuggle time, something romantic, or taking over a chore they hate for a few days. A little loving papering should happen regularly in your relationship anyway, but it’s especially important after a disagreement, or when you hurt their feelings. Do whatever will make them smile, warm their heart, and affirm your bond.
Finding real solutions and mending hurt feelings takes much more than just saying "sorry." But if you truly love your partner, making them feel loved, appreciated, and understood is not a wasted effort. Plus, sometimes you get to have hot makeup sex. Bonus.
Images: Moyo Studio/E+/Getty Images; Giphy (7)
2020 has turned out to be an unpredictable year, to say the least, but one thing we can always count on is celebrities needing to issue apologies for their behavior. From minor issues, like John Mulaney having to miss a comedy festival to host Saturday Night Live, to serious offenses, such as Lea Michele being accused of making Glee “a living hell” for actress Samantha Ware, celebs have turned to social media seeking atonement from their fans. It’s been a big year for apologies, and these celebrities are among the many who have taken to Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook to say, “I’m sorry.”
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Wendy Williams apologized in January after saying Joaquin Phoenix was “oddly attractive” and making mocking gestures about what she thought was his cleft lip or cleft palate (the actor has said it’s actually a birthmark). After catching criticism from fans, as well as from the likes of Cher and Canadian football player Adam Bighill, the Wendy Williams Show host apologized to the “cleft community” and donated to Operation Smile and the American Cleft Palate-Craniofacial Association.
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The usually outspoken Terry Crews caught flak from fans in January for not vocally supporting his America’s Got Talent costar Gabrielle Union, who departed from the competition series in November over alleged racially insensitive situations. While other celebrities like Debra Messing publicly supported Union, Crews, who hosts AGT, only said he never experienced racism on the show. He was further criticized for doubling down and stating he only needed to please “one woman on earth,” referring to his wife. Crews later apologized to Union, tweeting that he “invalidated your experience,” and added to it in June by saying he was wrong “for not recognizing the privilege I have — especially in the workplace.”
Crews followed it up with a third apology, months later, after Union revisited the situation on a podcast and said he showed “what he does during times of adversity, and it’s not solidarity.”
“This will be my 3rd public apology to Gabrielle Union,” Crews tweeted in response on Aug. 1. “If a 4th is needed, I will continue to apologize and push for reconciliation between the world, and more importantly, the culture I grew up in.”