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How to always win an argument

How to always win an argument

Proven Strategies for Getting Your Point Across (To Anyone)

If you’ve felt like the cultural climate is more divisive than ever, you’re not alone.

According to the Pew Research Center, 85% of Americans believe that the nature and tone of political debate in the US has become more negative.

In such a tense cultural environment, is it even possible to win an argument on social media or in real life anymore?

Yes. Let’s take a look at how to win an argument every single time.

Choose Your Arguments Wisely

Just because you disagree with someone’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean winning an argument against them will make much of any difference. In this current social and political climate, it’s not uncommon for there to be stark differences in the way family members and old friends view the same issues through vastly different lenses.

One of the most important ways to win arguments is to be selective in the arguments you engage in. Don’t get into the habit of arguing for the sake of arguing, and be thoughtful about what the consequences of winning arguments might be on your relationship with the other person.

Use Psychology to Your Advantage

Whether you’re trying to win an argument on social media or in real life, you’ll want to have a basic understanding of people’s psychology. While we like to think of ourselves as rational, logical people, this is fairly far from the truth, particularly in the heat of an argument.

Keep Your Cool and Be Polite

When you have a position that you know is right, it’s easy to fall into passionately defending your perspective. While it’s fine to be energetic, it’s absolutely essential to remain polite, courteous, and avoid getting hot-headed.

You have to remember your ultimate goal in a debate. You’re trying to convince the other person that you’re perspective is right. When you are defensive, angry, and biting, your opponent is actually likely to feel more affirmed in their position.

Getting angry and worked up is only going to humiliate you or the other person. If your opponent can’t keep their cool, it works in your favor. If you match their energy, though, nobody wins.

Know Your Facts, But Don’t Go Overboard

You’d think that winning an argument would be all about having the right statistics to back up your point. While it’s good to know the facts about the topic you’re discussing, stringing off a bunch of data points isn’t going to sway anyone in your direction.

If you’re going to use statistics and provable facts in your argument, make sure you’ve got the numbers right. Nothing can weaken your argument faster than the discovery that your statistics were ever so slightly incorrect.

The reality is that people are fundamentally emotional. When engaging in political discussions, most people have gut moral intuitions first and then find points to support their belief. Facts don’t necessarily change people’s minds.

That means that they aren’t gathering information and coming to a conclusion. They find the conclusion first and find the facts and reasoning later. Knowing this can help you understand where your opponent is coming from and affects how you frame your argument.

Let Your Opponent Help You Win

Why should you do all the work? Your opponent can actually do quite a bit of the heavy lifting for you if you can direct the conversation that way.

How to always win an argument

Ask Questions

Have you ever seen those “man on the street” videos where normal people are asked to explain their perspectives? While they might start out confident, you can see their lack of reasoning for their position unfold in real-time.

Asking them to explain their position and following up with open-ended questions is a good idea for a number of reasons.

First, obviously you can’t argue against a perspective if you don’t know what their position is. Allowing them space to fully articulate their beliefs helps you properly frame your own argument. It also avoids the issue that you’ll make incorrect assumptions about their position.

Second, your opponent is a lot more likely to listen to your rebuttals if you give them the opportunity to speak their mind. The debate won’t get anywhere if your opponent feels disrespected, unheard, and preached to.

Third, you’ll likely see some aspect of your opponent’s position unravel in response to your questioning. As stated before, people often pick a side first based on a moral intuition rather than taking a stand after gathering all the facts. This is a great way to find weaknesses in their point of view and argument.

Identify Shared Ground

Ideally, arguments should maintain a positive atmosphere and a lightness to them. If the argument remains friendly, you’re more likely to persuade them of your perspective.

Think about it: how likely would you be to change your mind if someone was insulting you and your point of view?

While engaged in an argument, it’s important to try and identify common ground. If you’re able to point of things that you agree on rather than only harping on your disagreements, they’ll be much more likely to come over to your side.

How to Win an Argument Is Not as Straightforward as You Might Have Thought

It’s easy to assume that how to win an argument is a matter of a perfectly designed, factual, and bulletproof point of view. In reality, though, we are all human and are impacted by subtle emotional and psychological factors. While you obviously want to have the facts on your side, listing off statistics like a robot isn’t going to get you very far.

When you’re engaged in an argument, you’re trying to persuade another person of your perspective. That means that you have to win them over, not beat them down. It’s not about having the specific words to win an argument, it’s about having the right attitude, tactics, and tone.

I covered the topic on this week’s episode of the Confident Communications Podcast.

How to always win an argument

There is not much point in having brilliant ideas if we cannot persuade people of their value. Persuasive debaters can win arguments using the force of their reason and by the skillful deployment of many handy techniques.

So how to win an argument? Here are some general dos and don’ts to help you win arguments together with some sneaky tactics to be aware of.

  1. Stay calm. Even if you get passionate about your point you must stay cool and in command of your emotions. If you lose your temper – you lose.
  2. Use facts as evidence for your position. Facts are hard to refute so gather some pertinent data before the argument starts. Surveys, statistics, quotes from relevant people and results are useful arguments to deploy in support of your case.
  3. Ask questions. If you can ask the right questions you can stay in control of the discussion and make your opponent scramble for answers. You can ask questions that challenge his point, ‘What evidence do you have for that claim?’ You can ask hypothetical questions that extrapolate a trend and give your opponent a difficulty, ‘What would happen if every nation did that?’ Another useful type of question is one that calmly provokes your foe, ‘What is about this that makes you so angry?’
  4. Use logic. Show how one idea follows another. Build your case and use logic to undermine your opponent.
  5. Appeal to higher values. As well as logic you can use a little emotion by appealing to worthy motives that are hard to disagree with, ‘Shouldn’t we all be working to make the world better and safer for our children?’
  6. Listen carefully. Many people are so focused on what they are going to say that they ignore their opponent and assume his arguments. It is better to listen carefully. You will observe weaknesses and flaws in his position and sometimes you will hear something new and informative!
  7. Be prepared to concede a good point. Don’t argue every point for the sake of it. If your adversary makes a valid point then agree but outweigh it with a different argument. This makes you looked reasonable. ‘I agree with you that prison does not reform prisoners. That is generally true but prison still acts effectively as a deterrent and a punishment.’
  8. Study your opponent. Know their strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and values. You can appeal to their higher values. You can exploit their weaknesses by turning their arguments back on them.
  9. Look for a win-win. Be open-minded to a compromise position that accommodates your main points and some of your opponent’s. You cannot both win in a boxing match but you can both win in a negotiation.
  1. Get personal. Direct attacks on your opponent’s lifestyle, integrity or honesty should be avoided. Attack the issue not the person. If the other party attacks you then you can take the high ground e.g.’ I am surprised at you making personal attacks like that. I think it would be better if we stuck to the main issue here rather than maligning people.’
  2. Get distracted. Your opponent may try to throw you off the scent by introducing new and extraneous themes. You must be firm. ‘That is an entirely different issue which I am happy to discuss later. For the moment let’s deal with the major issue at hand.’
  3. Water down your strong arguments with weak ones. If you have three strong points and two weaker ones then it is probably best to just focus on the strong. Make your points convincingly and ask for agreement. If you carry on and use the weaker arguments then your opponent can rebut them and make your overall case look weaker.

Some Sneaky Ways to Consider

  1. Use punchy one-liners. You can sometimes throw your opponent out of his stride by interjecting a confident, concise cliché. Here are some good ones:
    • That begs the question.
    • That is beside the point.
    • You’re being defensive.
    • Don’t compare apples and oranges.
    • What are your parameters?
  2. Ridicule and humiliate your opponent. This can be very effective in front of an audience but will never win over the opponent himself.
  3. Deliberately provoke your adversary. Find something that makes them angry and keep wheedling away on this point until they lose their temper and so the argument.
  4. Distract. Throw in diversions which deflect the other person from their main point.
  5. Exaggerate your opponent’s position. Take it way beyond its intended level and then show how ridiculous and unreasonable the exaggerated position is.
  6. Contradict confidently. Vigorously denounce each of your opponent’s arguments as fallacious but just select one or two that you can defeat to prove the point. Then assume that you have won.

How to Have a Productive Argument

Besides the dos and don’ts from above, here’s an infographic that explains how to have a productive argument at work: [1]

The Bottom Line

Remember that an argument between two people is very different from a debate in front of an audience.

In the first, you are trying to win over the other person, so look for ways of building consensus and do not be belligerent in making your points.

In front of an audience, you can use all sorts of theatrical and rhetorical devices to bolster your case and belittle your adversary.

In these circumstances, humor is a highly effective tool so prepare some clever lines in advance.

How to always win an argument

Everyone loves to discuss and argue about different topics, but oftentimes such argument leads to insulting each other with no conclusions determined. Debating is always a part of life, but quarreling up a storm is going to lead you no where and this is where the art of winning an argument comes in handy.

Though it’s always best to keep the relationship with the opponent on top of your mind, you might want to do everything it takes to win the argument. If it is so, here are 5 keys to winning an argument you’d love to know.

1. Attack the basic assumption of your opponents

Once upon a time in ancient China, there was a great warrior. He won battles after battles with one simple trick: He attacked the feet of the opponents’ horses. So no matter how strong or fierce his opponents were, once their horses were hurt, they fell to the ground and became helpless.

Same with arguments. Every argument has its own basic assumption. Once you identify and attack your opponents’ basic assumption, their whole argument would automatically collapse. Having said that, of course, you have to be sure that the basic assumption of your argument stands as well.

2. Know the facts

Information is power and if you’ve knowledge, you can provide absolute proof that you are right and are on top. Always make sure that you know the facts before you get involved in an argument. This way, you can make sure that you let no-errors and half-truths get in between your argument.

Also make sure to not state something “true” unless you know about it. If you lie, chances are your opponent will get hold of it and you might not have anything to prove it. It’s also distressing to argue with someone who makes points on the fly and has no idea about it.

3. Stay on the point

The most difficult part during an argument is sticking to the subject you were debating on. If you or your opponent brings in a new theory completely unrelated to the topic, you’ll be discussing on a entirely different topic and you develop myriad of unnecessary viewpoints. There are times when a clever opponent will try to bring you on knees by changing the subject. If so, consider it a sign that he’s feeling threatened and is finding it hard to get back to the original subject.

4. Stay calm and be soft

Raising your voice is never going to win you an argument and this is possibly the worst practice if you’re learning how to debate. You need to stay calm and focused all the time. The more you raise your voice, the louder you opponent will talk and it’ll turn out to be a yelling session without a conclusion. Staying calm will give you a lot of time to think and make good points to strengthen your argument. Remember, it’s not the person with the loudest voice who wins the argument, it’s the one with the most compelling points.

5. Don’t attack or play dirty

The key to winning an argument is by presenting good counter-arguments rather than blatantly telling that your opponent is wrong. Going straight and telling them it is wrong will only raise anger and the argument might turn dirty. If it’s your friend who attacks you, stay calm and never resort to name-calling or going on personal level. Social and racial slurs reflects that you are not confident and that you lack knowledge on the argument’s subject. Stay calm and play it easy so that your opponent can understand it was worth getting involved in the argument.

6. Stay silent

Right after you complete your point and make a strong argument, stop speaking and give your opponent some time to do all the talking. This will ensure that you get time to think on what your opponent blusters and fumbles which will help you to think of different other arguments to make. Many arguments are won by not arguing at all because silence is golden. It’ll make your opponent nervous and in an uncomfortable situation which puts you in an upper-hand to win the argument.

How to ALWAYS win an argument with your other half: The five simple rules to triumph in a row

  • Author Jonathan Herring from Oxford penned a book called How To Argue
  • No-holds-barred guide offers tips on how to win heated exchanges
  • Recommends trying to stay friends with a loved one after a row

Published: 15:36 BST, 21 October 2015 | Updated: 19:32 BST, 21 October 2015

A pile of dirty dishes, leaving the toilet seat up and coming home drunk from the pub are just some of the scenarios that can spark blazing rows up and down the country.

In order to help couples squabble more successfully, leading lawyer Jonathan Herring has penned a book called How To Argue.

In his entertaining, no-holds-barred guide, the Oxford-based professor reveals everything Brits need to know about bickering and tips on how to emerge triumphant.

How to always win an argument

A pile of dirty dishes, leaving the toilet seat up and coming home drunk from the pub. these are just some of the scenarios that can spark rows up and down the country (Picture posed by models)

Before bumping heads with a loved one, Jonathan says it’s vital to fully think through what it is you want to say.

‘Make sure you know the essential points you want to make,’ he said. ‘Before starting an argument think carefully about what it is you are arguing about and what it is you want. This may sound obvious. But it’s critically important. ‘

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After considering the strengths and weaknesses of your points, Jonathan says the timing and location of your quarrel is crucial.

‘Think carefully before you start to argue: is this the time; is this the place?’ he said.

How to always win an argument

Before bumping heads with a loved one, Jonathan says it’s vital to fully think through what it is you want to say (Picture posed by models)

Many people lose arguments because they get caught up in the heat of the moment and don’t fully listen to what it is the other person is saying.

To be victorious in a feud, Jonathan says you should let the other person do most of the talking.

‘It sounds silly, but you should aim to listen for 75 per cent of the argument and only speak for 25 per cent of it,’ he said. ‘If you listen intently you’ll be able to beat their line of argument more easily.’

HOW TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT

1. Be prepared and fully think through what you want to say

2. Chose the correct time and place

3. Listen to what the other person is saying

4. Have a ‘get out’ plan

5. Try and remain friends with a loved one

While being prepared and listening is key, he says that you should always have a ‘get out’ plan.

To stop the row ‘ending in a deadlock’ having a ‘preformed solution’ can put an end to any uncomfortable arguments and help you to get what you want.

Jonathan’s final tip is to try and stay friends with your partner despite the conflict.

‘You’ve got to ask yourself what the end game is when you’re arguing with your partner,’ he said. ‘If you want to embarrass or humiliate them then it’s eventually going to be bad for your relationship.

‘Make sure there’s a way you can make up, a sort of escape plan, so it doesn’t linger longer than it needs to.’

How to always win an argument

Many people lose arguments because they get caught up in the moment and don’t fully listen to what it is the other person is saying (Picture posed by models)

How to always win an argument

When you find yourself embroiled in a fight, or part of a heated debate, it can be tempting to try to win the argument. It’s only human to want to be "right," which is likely why we get into fights in the first place. But the single best thing to keep in mind when arguing isn’t winning, but listening, understanding, and then diffusing the fight.

I know, that doesn’t sound anywhere near as fun. You might be wondering what the point of a heated debate would be, or why you’d even want to have a passionate (or even angry) discussion if someone isn’t crowned victorious. But if you’re truly fighting, or something’s at risk — like your relationship or your job — the last thing you want to do is risk it all for the sake of winning.

That’s why we should all know how to "win" a fight by diffusing it, instead. "You don’t want to sabotage a relationship or situation because of an argument," NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle. "You likely will need to see this person again and you don’t want to ruin your reputation. Unhealthy arguments can also lead to feelings of stress, anger, depression or anxiety if you feel like the situation is ongoing and nothing is getting resolved." Since that’s not what you want, read on for some ways to win an argument, without having to stress yourself out or take someone down.

1. Validate Their Feelings

In the heat of the moment, it can be difficult to listen — much less say something nice. But if you’d like to diffuse the situation, you need to validate the other person’s feelings. "When someone feels a certain way, most of the time they just want to be heard," life coach Sara Pierce tells Bustle. "Saying things like ‘I understand why you’d feel that way. ‘ or ‘Anyone would feel like that in the same situation’ validates the other person’s emotions and completely disarms them." And just like that, the argument will be over.

2. Look At It As A Conversation

Instead of going into an argument with your proverbial fists up, or thinking "this is an argument," remind yourself it’s just a conversation. "Go back to the concept of talking with someone rather than talking to someone," says certified life coach Jane Scudder. "It’s a subtle but big difference." And it can help keep the other person cool, which pretty much always means you’ve won the argument.

3. Make It All About Them

People will stop listening if they can’t relate to what you’re saying, so remember to make the conversation about them. "Showing how and why something matters in relation to that person’s life and experience is a really important part of persuasion, but one we neglect to do because we naturally approach the world from our own points of view," says Scudder. "The key for successful persuasion is to break from this." Even if it’s hard to do.

4. Don’t Lose Your Cool

This can be super tricky when you’re upset, but whatever you do, try not to lose your cool. "Losing your temper will only anger the other person, which will heighten the argument," says Hershenson. If you can keep things calm, she tells me you might even be able to stop the argument. And I think that’s totally worth it.

5. Look At Things From Their Perspective

To keep the argument under control, try your best to view the other person’s side of the story. "You need to be able to step into the mind of the person you are arguing with and see their view," says Hershenson. "This allows you to figure out what is influencing them and you can come back with a powerful counter argument." Not an attack, mind you. But rather something that’ll really put a stop to the fight.

6. Keep Your Facts Straight

Before getting too deep into an argument, make sure to have your facts straight. As Hershenson tells me, quoting incorrect information weakens your point, which is essentially an automatic loss. So check your facts and avoid yelling about any old thing. If you aren’t sure about something, you can always say, "I’d need to look into that."

7. Avoid Using Exaggerations

It’s common to toss around exaggerations when trying to win an argument, but this tactic almost always ends up backfiring. "Words like everybody, always, and never, are broad generalizations," says communication coach Chad Elliot. They make your point unbelievable, while also angering whoever you’re talking to. And that’s not worth it.

8. Try To Be More Persuasive

During an argument, think like a salesperson and try to be as persuasive as possible. "Salespeople, speakers, and teachers have known that facts don’t persuade, emotion does," says Elliot. To pull on the other person’s heart strings, toss in some imagery or relate the story back to them. Hopefully they’ll calm down and see things your way.

9. Use "I" Statements Whenever Possible

Instead of casting blame and saying things like "you did this" and "you did that," try using "I" statements. "An ‘I’ statement reduces others becoming defensive when bringing up a topic of concern," says counselor Jennifer Blanks (Artesani) M.Ed LMHC, in an email to Bustle. "If they feel defensive they really aren’t going to try to solve this issue with you . they are going to focus on defending themselves, which will not help you win the argument."

10. Respect Their Point Of View

It may be tough to stay respectful, especially when you vehemently disagree with what someone has to say. But the best way to keep an argument calm is to be as kind as possible. "Respectfully acknowledge the other person’s view point, even if you don’t agree with it," says wellness coach Erin Stair, MD, MPH. Say things like "I see what you’re saying there," or "That’s a good point." They might be so thrown off that you can walk away the winner.

11. Try To Politely Disengage

If the other person is truly getting out of control, it’s often best to disengage. "If someone is becoming too aggressive, a perfect phrase to drop is, ‘If you say so.’ That works like a charm," Stair says. "It’s a classy way of disengagement . and you also won’t lose a friend or potential contact."

While it may be tough to keep your cool during an argument, staying calm, using "I" statements, and remaining respectful are some of the best things you can do. You may not want to focus on "winning" the fight, but you’ll certainly come out on top if you’re kind and respectful.

“People will often remember how you say something more than what you say,” says counselor David Klow, LMFT, author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters From Your Therapist. “The way in which you communicate your message makes a difference: If you get angry during an argument, the point you’re trying to make will often get lost.”

Furthermore, yelling, screaming, and losing control of your emotions during an argument instantly makes you seem subordinate to the person with whom you’re in confrontation, clinical psychologist John Mayer, PhD, author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life.

“If you get angry during an argument, the point you’re trying to make will often get lost.” —David Klow, LMFT

Ultimately, losing your cool isn’t the most healthy way to respond to any conflict, says clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD, author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?. And the reason for that goes beyond the matter of who’s going to win the argument at hand. “People get worked up in a sympathetic, nervous-system haze, which results in wear and tear on our bodies if it keeps happening,” she says. And if people in your life come to know that you’re someone who often responds this way to conflict, the result can be that they avoid discussing important issues with you, she says. After all, just as no one wants to walk into a burning building, no one wants to ignite a situational fuse that might lead to a blowup from you. That said, if you tend to lose your cool during arguments, all is not lost: there are strategies you can invoke to change the habit.

Below find 3 tips to change your argument style and keep your cool.

1. Take a walk

The classic way to regain your composure is to walk—not storm—away, Dr. Durvasula says. This helps to acknowledge that, in the heat of the moment, you may not be able to say things in a levelheaded way, she says.

When you step away, Dr. Mayer recommends repeating a few mantras to help you calm down and contextualize the issue at hand. Use phrases like, “How do I figure out this problem?” “How do I win here?” or “What is my power here?” until you calm down. “The key is to adopt a model that tells you that you have to think your way out of this,” he says. “Act and respond from power—not emotion.”

It’s also important to keep close tabs on your emotions when you start to get into an argument. “While sometimes it can feel like our temper raises to a boiling point instantly, often if we pay close attention, we might notice ourselves getting mildly irritated or agitated before things escalate,” Klow says. “Try to catch yourself and change the way you’re communicating before you get too worked up.”

2. Set a timer

If you really struggle with this and often argue with the same person, like your significant other, Dr. Durvasula recommends setting a timer. “Each person gets three to five minutes during which there can be no interruptions,” she says. “The other person can take notes or the like, but the one person must be allowed to talk uninterrupted and then the other.”

3. Work on mindfulness when you’re not fighting

And finally, Dr. Durvasula says it’s important to work on your issues outside of when the arguments actually occur. “Rage-y, yelling arguments often take place because people misperceive or personalize things that are not personal—they are arguing about something that is not even relevant to the issue at hand,” she says. “Work, whether in therapy, or through doing deeper mindfulness work, means stopping and remembering the mantra ‘do not personalize this.’” If you can work to get some emotional distance from the argument and attempt to see the other person’s point of view, it can cool things down, she says.

If losing your cool in arguments is a constant issue for you, it may be a smart strategy to talk about it with a mental-health professional. Changing your argument style requires time and work, Klow says, and a professional can help guide you through it until you get things right.

Speaking of argument style, here’s the difference between fighting and bickering. Plus, Esther Perel’s stance on bickering is sure to change the way you interact with your partner.

Having heated argument is something that almost every people couldn’t avoid in life. Be it with your spouse, your friends, crush, parents, or even neighbors. Although there are people who are naturally good at winning an argument, there are also those who can’t stand an argument. Well, winning an argument isn’t always a necessity, but you might want to know how to win one.

Especially when you’re arguing with an Aries, Aries partner, or Aries friend, just basically any Aries people around you. Naturally, they’re those people who always think they’re right. If your opinion differs, this person just wouldn’t agree with you. However don’t worry much, once you know their characteristic, you’ll be able to win an argument with an Aries.

Aries Basic Characteristic

Before you get to know how to handle this kind of person, knowing their character is very important. People who are born in between March 21- April 19 are classified into this zodiac signs. However, they’re people who actually hate losing.

They are so sure of where they stand and what they stand for, well seen in their signs, the ram. Just like how you should know aries woman weakness and personality to win over their heart, you should know Aries traits to win an argument.

Here are few list of most common traits that an Aries person shows:

1. Unstoppable

Once they have something in mind, they’ll set it there. They’re determined, don’t try to stop what they believe in or what they wanted to do.

2. They Like Challenge

How to always win an argument

They’re not those people who’re afraid of new things or things that are outside of their capability.

3. In Charge

Whenever with an Aries, make them think that they’re the one in charge. They don’t like it when you’re becoming selfish or dominating.

4. Sometimes Selfish

At times, they might come off as selfish or focusing on themselves.

More Aries Traits

  • Inspiring
  • Trendsetter
  • Aggressive
  • Heroic
  • Encouraging
  • Extroverted
  • Fearless
  • Stubborn
  • Spontaneous
  • Generous

Ways To Win An Argument With An Aries

If you’re a guy, you might be curious on how to beat your girlfriend in an argument. But to deal with argument with basically every Aries around you, you need to take a look over these points:

1. Don’t Get Surrounded

How to always win an argument

Although that Aries person might push you to the edge, intimidate you in a way you’re tired of, you shouldn’t just give in and let them see you as an pushover. No matter how luring is it, you should stand still or else you’ll lose respect from this person. It might solve the problem for that time, but later on, you’re getting bigger trouble.

2. Understand Them

What’s the easiest ways to win an argument with an Aries? You need to realize that they’re self-centered. In order to win an argument with an Aries, you should tell them more of what they can get, or what’re beneficial to them. Once they can see how it’s good for them, how it has something for them, they’ll started to put down their wall slowly and started to crawl over that thing.

3. Use Facts

Most of the times, Aries signs are holding tight to the fact that they know, although it’s a bit vague. Here, it’s your chance to give them more and more facts. They’ll started to understand and won’t have a way to fight over what you stated.

4. Keep Calm

Actually, this point isn’t just important for dealing with Aries, but with every signs. Make sure that you don’t get too worked up even if the situation is just too overwhelming. You might feel like getting all the way angry or frustrated, but it won’t help. Stay calm, think in a clear state of mind, and fight for your argument.

5. Listen

If you don’t want to listen to what they say, to their main points, then you’ll never win over the argument. Listen carefully, understand their points first before making decisions about what to say later on. This won’t only help you to get their points, it will also give you the chance to spot their weakness. You might spot their opinion’s weakness through their own words.

6. Get Manipulative

What’s the easiest ways to win an argument with an Aries? This is where you might remember your Scorpio friend. Manipulative is one of the reasons why you need a scorpion in your life. Of course, not in a bad way. You should use your manipulative skills here, by bringing up facts with emotional values as the bonus.

Of course you can’t leave the facts behind. They’re all about facts and logic. But, you should put in a little spice, emotional depth that will touch their weak spot. They’re actually quite sensitive, so this way you’ll get to win over the argument.

7. Point Out Your Opinion

How to always win an argument

It’s important to let them know what you’re thinking. Make sure you point it out clearly, they love it when you react to their opinion. This will make them feel important.

8. Make It Feel Like They’re In Charge

Since we already know that they love to dominate, they love to be in charge, then we should use this trait to win over. Through the conversation, make them be the one who’s leading the conversation. It won’t cost you anything, anyway.

9. Give Them Space And Time

Although when in argument, they can be very stubborn, selfish, and won’t give in, you should be patient and give them time. After becoming so emotional at an argument, they’ll at last regret it. They’ll regret being so emotional and annoying, especially if you’re someone they’re close to. If you’re girl and you spot these signs an aries man has a crush on you, then he will probably come back to you feeling guilty.

However, remember that not every signs are fixed. Even the fixed one, they might be different from what their signs say they’ll be. Not every Aries in the world are going to have all of the Aries traits. People’s character can differs from one to another depends on their social circle, things they went through, their parent’s nurturing style, and so much more.

We can’t just judge them all the same, but we might look through their natural character and see which one is matched. Understanding people won’t be a loss. This skills will help you in your everyday interaction while socializing with people.

Whoever told you that you can never win an argument with a woman has obviously never read these tips. If you want to win aN argument with your girlfriend at least once, then all you need are these 5 sure shot ways.

How to always win an argument

Gentlemen, have you ever wondered why you can never win an argument with a woman? It is not just because women are pro at it(or at least that’s what most people say), maybe it is also because you are doing something wrong or maybe you aren’t really doing something that you should be doing. We will give you foolproof ways that will help you win a argument at least once in a lifetime with your girlfriend. This works even when your girlfriend resorts to crying as the last try. Interesting isn’t it? Give it a read. ALSO READ 6 tips to avoid ugly arguments in your relationship Also Read – 9 Expert Tips to Keep Your Pets Warm This Winter

Change the topic when things start heating up

As soon as you sense things getting all worse and heated up, just try changing the topic. But you have to do this very smoothly and smartly. You can not do this in the middle of an argument. Your only chance at this is before an argument crops up. You can talk about your work or something funny that you read or saw on social media. This will divert her mind and she might just forget what she was about to argue with you. If you manage to pull this off, you have already won an argument( that never happened, but never mind). Also Read – Monsoon Diet For Dull Skin: Easy Tips to Ensure Healthy Skin During Rainy Season

How to always win an argument

Also Read – 5 Tips For Buying a Flat Amid COVID-19 Pandemic

Do not opt for tit for tat

She might be blaming you something that you did. If you are guilty, then just admit it. Do not resort to tit for tat or play blame games only because she is doing it. Be the matured one and talk it out to her. Once you do this, you will see how your girlfriend appreciates this and the argument is no longer there. (ALSO READ The 5 top most relationship problems that you must definitely avoid!).

Learn to agree to disagree

Now chances are you do not agree to what your girlfriend is telling, but it is very important that you learn to agree to disagree. Just tell her that you do not agree to her but that does not really mean she is wrong. Being two different individuals and adults, both of you have different opinions and it is okay to disagree sometimes. If your girlfriend is logical, she will totally get this and guess what you have won the argument.

How to always win an argument

You need to be patient and try not losing your calm

So most of the times when a woman is upset she can go all crazy on you. She is arguing intensely and is also raising her voice occasionally. However you need to be patient If both of you lose your cool, then the argument will never end, forget being winning. So if you really want to win an argument and just keep her quiet, be patient and calm. Come what may, just do not lose your temper. After a point your girlfriend will get tired of all the screaming and arguing. And she will also feel guilty for being so mad because you were patient and did not react in the same manner as she did. Whether you were the wrong one or the right one, she will definitely apologize for being so bad. ALSO READ 5 unavoidable arguments that every newly-wed couple will have

Do something really unexpected

Now this your chance to try something out of the box. Do something that you know will instantly calm her down or make her smile. For instance, promise her that you will cook tonight or get her a gift or play her favorite song. It can be anything and this has to be in the middle of a serious argument. Do it subtly. Stop her politely, ask for 5 minutes and just do any of these. She is bound to feel happy and now is the time when you both can talk out your issue rationally. ALSO READ 5 reasons why arguing with your partner is not bad after all

So like you read above, these are the 5 smartest ways of winning an argument. You do not even have to put up a fight, all it requires are some wise moves, perfect timing and love.

Found this story interesting? Like our Facebook page to read more such articles. Also, share your comments below. We would love to hear from you!

How to always win an argument

You’re in the middle of a heated discussion–or fine, let’s just call it an argument–and the person whom you’re trying convince seems unable or unwilling to grasp your point of view. What should you do?

BUT FIRST, “FRAMES”
Before you can reframe an argument, you need to understand what “frames” are in the first places. They’re simply the term psychologists give to the theoretical filters or categories our minds use to help us store, manage, and interpret the meaning of information.

Our brains deploy frames out of necessity. Though the brain is an incredibly powerful organ, it’s limited in its ability to process information. As a result, it instinctively creates these categories for understanding its experience of the world. The type of frame a person may be using determines how they’ll perceive and respond to what you say and do. For instance, imagine you’re in the market for a new car. Here are three different frames (though there can be many more) that might describe the exact same car:

  • Frame #1: The car is blue.
  • Frame #2: The car is for sale and priced at $30,000.
  • Frame #3: The car is two years old.

The first frame is aesthetic (the car’s colour), the next is economic (the car’s price and market value), and the third is historical (the car’s age). While all this information can be held in mind simultaneously, it’s possible to rearrange the frames that organize it by order of preference; your preferred frame will alter your perception of the car’s value and influence whether or not you’ll purchase it.

CHANGING FRAMES
So how can you coax someone who’s stuck in a certain frame to try on another one–and to consider the validity of your argument? The answer is counterintuitive: You change their frame by reframing your own position.

Behavioral scientists Matthew Feinburg and Robb Willer conducted six experiments with a total of 1,322 participants, seeking to identify how to make the most effective political arguments to those people with opposing political beliefs. They found that “compliance rates” with a given political message increased if that message was reframed to leverage the existing beliefs of the listener.

In one of their experiments, which dealt with the topic of same-sex marriage, politically liberal participants were more persuaded when the argument was reframed to focus on fairness (treating everyone equally), while conservative-leaning participants found the argument more compelling when it was framed to emphasize how same-sex couples were loyal, patriotic Americans.

Feinburg and Willer concluded that to win someone to your position, it’s best not to challenge their beliefs but to instead connect your own position to those beliefs (which, obviously, means empathizing with values you may not share–often the tricky part). Doing this can help others see the legitimacy of your position and reduce the perceptual gap between your viewpoint and theirs.

USE THESE FRAME-CHANGING SCRIPTS
So if you’re in a disagreement with a coworker who’s feeling anxious about moving ahead with a new project, you could say:

I respect your commitment to doing what’s best for the company [existing belief]. Can I share with you the two reasons why this new project will strengthen the company?

Suddenly you’ve reframed the dispute around a shared belief: the health of the company.

I know you want to improve our production capabilities to make sure we’re able to meet the new objectives for the year [existing belief]. My concern is that if we under-invest in these upgrades, we’ll limit our ability to grow our output, which will cost us a lot in lost production. The plan I’ve put together is priced to grow production so that we’ll meet our objectives.

What the research on reframing shows is that the key to winning any argument is to understand your opponents’ perspective first, and then to link the beliefs supporting their perspective to your argument. The point is to influence them by finding enough common ground to win them to your side–not running to opposite corners and shouting across the divide.

I thought this might be a fun share that some may enjoy reading. I’ve had this in my IE bookmarks FOREVER!

How to win an argument

by Dave Barry, 1981
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

* Drink Liquor. (JD)

Suppose you’re at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you’re drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you’ll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot entralls your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you’ll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You’ll be a WEALTH of information. You’ll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

* Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you’re damned if you’re going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON’T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian’s salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.

If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon’s study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn’t you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say "You left your soiled underwear in my bath house."

* Use meaningless but weightly-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
So to speak
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.," "e.g.," and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not."
Here’s how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say:

"Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don’t have enough money."

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

* Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevent phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

You’re begging the question.
You’re being defensive.
Don’t compare apples and oranges.
What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.
Here’s how to use your comebacks:

You say – As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873.
Your opponents says – Lincoln died in 1865.
You say – You’re begging the question.

You say – Liberians, like most Asians.
Your opponents says – Liberia is in Africa.
You say – You’re being defensive.

* Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say" or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

You now know how to out-argue anybody. Do not try to pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons.

How to always win an argument

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Whether you thrive on conflict or avoid it at all costs, it is a big part of life. Arguments can arise over little things, like whose job it is to clean the coffee pot, or over big things, like how to approach a massive project.

No matter the conflict, though, there are some techniques that will help you prevail in almost any argument — be it with friends, co-workers, or family. While it isn’t wise to choose to fight every single battle, follow these tactics to give yourself the best chance at winning the ones you do pick.

1. Stay Calm

The minute you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument. Letting your emotions run free means that the other person has gotten to you, that they have bugged you beyond your ability to control yourself. Even if you have the best facts and you handle the rest of the argument well, losing it emotionally never changes anyone else’s mind.

It’s perfectly acceptable to feel passionate about your opinion and even to use passionate language to express yourself. But it will not help you if you cry, yell, scream, curse, or pound on the table to make your points. This makes you seem a little unstable and maybe even unhinged, but does not help anyone accept your point of view.

2. Take Opposing Theories to Their Logical Conclusion

One of the best ways to win an argument is to take your opponent’s theories to their logical conclusion. Often, these conclusions are absurd, and will lead your opponent to rethink his or her point. One study did just this with Israelis on the topic of the conflict with the Palestinians, and found that the tactic made people 30% more likely to reconsider their views.

3. See Another Perspective

Try to look at the world through your opponent’s eyes. This will help you in two ways. First of all, it allows you to demonstrate genuine empathy for this person. When you can understand where he or she is coming from or why they might see things the way they do, you can make statements during the argument that expresses this understanding. This will help the other person to feel more like you are both on the same side.

Understanding your opponent’s perspective also allows you to tailor your arguments in ways that will be more likely to influence them. If they hold the position they do because of fear, you can show how your stance could be reassuring. In the end, this will help your points hit home for them.

4. Don’t Attack

When someone feels attacked, they move into fight-or-flight mode. This makes them extremely inflexible in their thinking, which means that they will not be able to listen to the points you are making, even if they might normally be interested in hearing them

5. Ask Your Opponent How to Implement Their Ideas

It’s one thing to ask someone why they believe something. Most people can spit out those answers with ease. But when you ask someone how they would implement their ideas, nearly everyone will soften their views (and some will even rate their understanding of the debate lower).

Implementing ideas is usually harder than simply believing them, and to make an idea work in the real world, you have to have a deep understanding of the issue as a whole and how people tend to act around it. So ask people "how" questions, and you may find that they back off of some staunchly held points, which gives you a chance to make your arguments and show how you would implement your own ideas.

6. Argue With Facts and Science

People trust scientists. Appeal to them, and your opponents will be more likely to listen to you and adopt whatever it is you’re asking of them.

If you have something to say and you have good reasons for believing it, there’s no reason not to arm yourself with the best argumentative tactics before you head into a debate.

Do you enjoy arguments? How do you give yourself the best chance of winning them?

How to always win an argument

It’s another Monday night, and you’re just getting home. Your kids are whining about something, dinner has to be made, and your husband is doing that thing that always pisses you off. So you start arguing with each other. Wouldn’t you love to learn how to win that argument for once? And quickly?

A recent article in The New York Times revealed some surprising negotiating tactics that can help you win. And by “win” I mean win-win, for both of you. (You knew that, right?) Because hopefully your ultimate goal as a couple is peace, love, and understanding. So get out your cushions, couples — I’m not kidding.

1. Watch out for transitions. Researchers say the biggest fights happen when family members are either saying hello or goodbye: When you’re trying to get the kids off to school, when you’re coming home from work, when you’re trying to get the kids off to bed. The worst time is between 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. So be aware of that, and if you find yourself getting testy during a transition, bite your tongue and save that argument for a better time.

2. Sit at the same level. Weird, but true — the levels where you sit or stand can influence your argument. If you’re both at the same level, you’re more likely to deal with each other as equals.

3. Get comfy. Another weird one — people are more flexible during an argument or discussion if they’re sitting in soft chairs or sofas than when they’re sitting on hard chairs.

4. Set a timer. Apparently people make the most important points in their opening statements. After that, people end up just repeating themselves and yelling. So it actually helps to set a time limit (make sure each person gets equal time). If you haven’t reached an agreement, call a time-out and take a five-minute break before getting back together again.

These tips were all new to me. Here’s a couple more that I’ve tried and found worked pretty well.

5. Make gentle physical contact. If you haven’t reached the boiling point, sometimes holding hands or even touching toes can help you feel connected even if you’re not seeing eye to eye at the moment.

6. Don’t use his talking time to prep your arguments. When he’s explaining his side of things, do you ever find yourself tuning him out and planning what you’ll say next? You really need to stop and hear your partner. Pause after he finishes talking if you need time to think about your response.

7. Stop what you’re doing. This is no time to multitask. If you and your husband have something important to discuss, you both need to give it your full attention. Don’t fold laundry and argue at the same time. Even if you think you can still listen, it gives the message that your relationship and the conflict aren’t worth your full attention — and it makes your spouse feel like you’re not listening.

Do you have any other negotiating tactics that have worked for you?

My wife and I recently had a disagreement that almost led to a heated argument. Normally, my only goal is how to win an argument with my wife. This is hard for me, as my wife is ex-military, ex-law enforcement, and a champion martial artist. Let’s just say she doesn’t run away from many fights.

I knew almost immediately we were going to have some serious issues when it came to dealing with conflict. Fortunately, during pre-marital counseling, we established our Rules of Engagement. Basically, these were ‘fighting rules’ to preserve our relationship and protect our marriage.

We each created a list of the things we didn’t want the other person to do if we ever got into an argument. Then we both looked at the list and made a promise to never do any of those things. Here are our list of rules.

For instance, my wife’s had only 4 rules on her list:

  1. Don’t remind her of her past mistakes.
  2. Don’t say, “She will never be satisfied.”
  3. Don’t raise my voice louder than hers just to make a point.
  4. Don’t press her to respond if she doesn’t want to talk.

When it came to MY rules, I had 4 as well. I had her agree to:

  1. NOT to say, “I don’t want to argue with you.”
  2. NOT walk away while I’m talking.
  3. NEVER tell me to “Shut up.”
  4. Refrain from name calling or use of foul language.

Then we both agreed to the following:

  1. We would never mention the word divorcewhen arguing or even insinuate we shouldn’t be together.
  2. Don’t negatively compare the other to our ex or parent.
  3. Stop talking when asked to respectfully listen to the other person.

This was one of the best things we’ve ever done for our marriage. I can’t remember the last time we went to bed angry at each other because we keep the rules.

Always remember, whenever you break the rules, you’re essentially breaking your wife’s heart. It’s not about making our point, winning an argument, or being right; it’s about being right in the relationship with her. If we do that then everyone wins.

Huddle Up Question

Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What are things you don’t want me to do during an argument?”

This is another one of my post that I cooked up while driving. As you know, I have no dotters so I shall share this with all the bebudak pompuan. Listen properly, okay?

You know, we women, female, betina, pompuan, char bor, chau lok or whatever our moms call us, are always at a disadvantage over men if we didn’t start at the right footing. So, if we don’t play it right, we will lose out. Some moms may molly-coddled their daughters till they become sebijik-semacam like the mother. Some moms may plant the wrong idea to bring up girls. Or some lucky folks like me, I actually grew up with almost no influence from my mother or any females and I have no dotters to pass on my bad traits LOL.

Now, I show you some cases where I always win. When I was in Form Four or Form Five, I am the sipeh lansi, aksi head prefect. We had two heads, i.e. the boy and girl head prefect. I had one class monitor who was equally lansi. One day, she picked up a quarrel with me during a prefect meeting, thinking that she could win. The discipline master was there and she spilled everything about me. She bitched and bitched and bitched till she cried. And what did I do? I refused to be dragged into a cat fight, so I just stood there and glared at her. She was dumbfucked because she was in tears while I refused to entertain her. When she had finished crapping, I coldly spoke, “Sir, sorry about this. I will see what I can do about it.” And I did nothing after that.

Next, when I was working as a secretary, the other secretary went to my boss and started to scream about my wrong doings. Yeah, I caused her a lot pain ‘cos I refused to accept her as higher level than me just because her boss is bigger than mine. She was darn tulan-ed with me and thought she could go to my boss and tell him how uncooperative I was. So, my boss summoned me into his office while the super-bitch flailed her arms and tried to thrash me. I made her even more tulan because I refused to speak up to defend myself from her accusations. When she had nothing else to say, I asked, “OK, finished already? Dato’, I get back to my work, alright?”

Another example happened in church. I was in this group project and one of the committee member insisted I teach her something. It is impossible to teach a duck how to sing like a nightingale , ok? So, I just ignored her many requests. She shot a nasty email to me, telling me how selfish I am, that sharing is caring as a Christian yadda yadda yadda and she c.c. the mail to the priest! I ignored the email. When the priest asked me casually in a meeting, “Lilian, what happened?” I refused to explain myself and told him that it is just a small matter.

Lastly, have you seen The 5xmom had blog war with another female blogger? Nay….not in a million years.

There you have it in point forms.

1) Never argue with another female. Cheese her off with silence and a curt twist of your mouth.

2) If you are right, don’t bother to argue to defend yourself. Even if you are wrong, you are still right in your own opinions.

3) If you have a leader above you, trust him/her to believe you without questioning. If not, fuck the leader. Resign or find Thai black magic or bomoh to put a curse so that the kkc shrinks or the ccb grows. LOL, just joking.

4) If your leader/head is a male, all the more easier to handle. There is always charm. Charm always win bitchy behaviour.

5) Never, ever, cry in front of anyone. I don’t care if you choked yourself to death trying to hold your tears or bite your tongue off to hold back the sobs, just don’t cry. Take deep breaths, ease the tensions by channeling it elsewhere, like grinding your teeth together. Every single boy, men, uncle, handsome hunks and etc etc respect you if you manage that. Emo behaviour only happens in Korean emo drama or stupid American reality TV shows.

6) Of course, don’t always remain silent. Once in a while, show the claws and fangs and no one dares to scratch you in future.

7) One very important survival skill is the ability to zoom in to the top and find your ‘backhill’ and gain the person’s trust – whether it is your top boss, your top leader or whoever is the most influential. This is call the most subtle bodek-ing skill. So subtle that no one knows it is bodek in motion.

So girls, save the tears. It will work against you, whether in school, college or at work. Or in the society. Only Rafidah Aziz can get away with it, hugging Tun M and sobbing. Oh no, she didn’t survive too. Bwahahaha…..

How to always win an argument

Not that passivity is the most effective strategy but if you’re thinking about “winning” you’re already headed down the wrong path.

From a neuroscience perspective, “When an argument starts, persuasion stops.”

When an argument starts, persuasion stops. A group of researchers including psychologist Drew Westen conducted a revealing experiment, which Westen wrote about in his book The Political Brain. In the heated election campaign of 2004, the researchers found supporters of presidential candidates George Bush and John Kerry and took MRI pictures of their brains as they watched video footage of their favorite candidate completely contradicting himself. So what happened in people’s brains when they saw information that contradicted their worldview in a charged political environment? As soon as they recognized the video clips as being in conflict with their worldview, the parts of the brain that handle reason and logic went dormant. And the parts of the brain that handle hostile attacks — the fight-or-flight response — lit up.

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This is what happens when a discussion becomes an argument. It’s no longer an exercise in logic and reasoning. It’s just a fight. And being in a fight brings its own frame of mind, a whole set of attitudes, expectations, and conditioned reactions that go along with arguing. As soon as that happens, no one cares who is right and who is wrong. All that matters is who is friend and who is foe. So if you’re trying to win over someone whose natural allegiances are not with you, getting into an argument is a sure way to fail.

We’ve all been there: doing anything to win, it’s messy, no progress is made or (god forbid) acknowledged. The only thing guaranteed is hurt feelings.

What’s the real problem? Winning means seeing the discussion through a war metaphor.

Daniel Cohen explains how the whole war metaphor is inherently problematic in his TED talk:

Once it’s war, we’re no longer focused on what’s right, we just want to win by any means necessary. No, not just the other guy — you’re doing it too.

Nobody wants to admit they’re wrong because it’s now a status game – and that’s where “winning” comes from, it’s a metaphoric struggle for life and death now and nobody wants to die.

Most people can’t even take feedback well. Why? Same reason.

Taking feedback becomes a status game. If they take your advice, you’re telling them what to do.

The source of the difficulty here lies in who comes up with the solution. Paul’s suggestion makes him look smarter, and Eric less smart. This impacts their relative status, which Eric is likely to fight against. The better Paul’s answer is, the more likely Eric might resist it. It’s bizarre… Paul’s giving out suggestions also threatens Eric’s autonomy: it’s no longer Eric’s choice to follow a specific path.

But you still want to know how to win every argument?

Okay, so what happens if you bring video evidence, expert witnesses and logically back them into a corner from which the greatest trial lawyer could not escape?

They hate you. That’s what happens.

Congrats, you’re the lucky winner of a new enemy.

There’s a better way.

Ask yourself “What’s my real goal?”

It usually breaks down into one of three categories:

1) “I want to influence them to do things my way.

Well, then having them hate you doesn’t help.

You can get people to do things your way or accept new ideas. There’s not necessarily a status game/ego threat there — unless you demand credit for the idea.

So the first step is stop arguing and stop trying to “win.” Most business arguments fall into this category.

2) “I don’t know why I’m arguing but somehow I ended up here.

We’ve all been there. But trying to “win” is not the solution here either. You don’t even really want to be fighting. Most relationship arguments fall into this category.

Married couples never resolve most of the things they fight about. John Gottman’s research shows 69% of couple’s problems are perpetual.

Leaving those arguments unfought does not end the relationship. Vicious must-win tactics do. So stop arguing.

3) “I want to prove them wrong.

And here’s where you really get into trouble.

You’re saying you’ll only be satisfied by an admission of error and that runs headlong into the brain shutdown and status game issues. Good luck in your personal war against biology and human nature.

You can’t make someone admit defeat, but you can make them hate you. And is that your goal? With a clear head, re-evaluate what you really want here.

The only category that makes any sense is #1. But arguing isn’t the way. Persuasion is. How do you do that? I’ve described a number of methods:

  • Here’s how FBI hostage negotiators do it.
  • Here’s how persuasion guru Robert Cialdini does it.
  • Here’s what “How to Win Friends and Influence People” author Dale Carnegie says.
  • Here’s how to give feedback or give a friend advice while dodging the status game issue.

One Final Note

In that TED talk above, Daniel Cohen makes another excellent point that often gets overlooked:

Losing an argument means you learn something.

Knowing how to win every argument would be a terrible personal loss.

You don’t get any wiser by verbally bludgeoning people. You get wiser by learning.

Winning an argument is a short term ego victory. Losing an argument can be a learning experience that benefits you the rest of your life.

Or maybe I’m wrong. Please prove me wrong.

I’d rather learn something.

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This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

How to always win an argument

Increasingly, this generation’s most decisive issues are not being discussed in the decadent halls of rundown parliamentary buildings, but rather indirectly, via social media platforms, blogs and youtube. Ironically, this has meant that the fire and brimstone of head-to-head debate is back.

It is the duty of every gentleman to have an opinion and be able to fight for it. To help you in the art of argument, here is a basic guide to getting your point across so others listen.

How to always win an argument

1. Use gestures to reinforce your argument

The majority of communication, even during debate, goes unseen and if your words don’t betray what you don’t know, then your hands often will. The mediocre speaker will try and keep their hands out of the conversation, but the best debaters have always found a way of reinforcing any point with their presence. Having said this, try and avoid holding paper, pretending to hold imaginary breasts or playing with the face. Instead, try a fixed power pose, to mirror the position of the legs.

How to always win an argument

2. Know when to fall silent

Sometimes silence can be as powerful as noise, especially when the noise is not constructive. Instead of trying to fight someone talking over you, go silent, but when it is your turn to talk again lean into your point with a long bout of silence. Your point will grow and find weight that it may not even deserve.

How to always win an argument

3. Don’t be afraid to show your passion

The best in the business can find that indignant and pissed off gear that elevates their remark to a point of intellectual and moral superiority. However, these same people also know that timing is everything; so don’t give it all away in one go. A swear word, held back and then effectively deployed, can win an argument – sad but true. This higher gear goes hand in hand with being passionate about your side, even if it is an adopted one.

How to always win an argument

4. You may have to subtly change your argument

There will always be someone with a better memory for quotation than you and there will always be someone smarter than you, but remember, the true winners of any debate are those that can prove not that their side of the motion is correct, rather that the other side is incorrect. This might mean that you will have to change tact halfway, once you realise you cannot trap or out-quote your rival. In that case your rhetoric must be devastating and unanswerable in its deployment.

Entrepreneurs are passionate people. We want to be heard. But often, knowing when to shut up can benefit you immensely. Cultivating your ability to hold your tongue is important.

Make no mistake, this is something I still struggle with every day. But after twenty years of wishing I’d just kept quiet that one time — here’s my advice:

1. Remember, it’s not personal. It’s business. A few years ago, I sued a major toy company who I thought had infringed on one of my patented technologies. Looking back, I think we could have settled the dispute quickly if cooler heads had prevailed. But I became emotional and so did they. The conflict ended up in federal court after dragging on for three years, which took an enormous toll on me. It’s best not to make decisions when you’re emotional. Step back and ask yourself: Is this the best course of action or am I just upset right now?

2. Pick up the phone. It’s always easier to miscommunicate over email. You’ll strengthen your relationships by clarifying what you and the person you’re in contact with really mean simply by picking up the phone. I have misinterpreted what people have written to me in emails on many occasions. When it comes to sensitive issues in particular — talk it out; don’t just email.

3. Hit “delete. ” The idea that anyone can win an argument over the Internet is laughable. For whatever reason, some people enjoy using their anonymity to be rude and insulting. It’s taken me many years, but I think the best way to respond to my haters is by not saying anything at all. Even if you’re calm, collected and reasonable, whatever you write will only fuel the fire. There are just too many people who get a kick out of riling others up. If you choose not to engage, you’ll be surprised how quickly the conversation dies. And, try to have a sense of humor! Usually, I’m enraged when I first read hateful comments, but later I find them kind of funny.

4. Let go of the need to have the last word. It’s better to fly under the radar. You may feel great about getting in one last jab, but more likely than not, someone else is going to remember your flippant comment long after you do and it will come back to haunt you. It’s just not worth it. I was surprised to hear Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks and an investor on Shark Tank, laugh at the SEC on TV and in the media after he was accused of insider trading and found not guilty. That didn’t seem wise. If they had an eye on him before, well, they probably still do now. Gloating is unattractive.

5. Embrace the idea that sometimes, less is more. We’ve all been in meetings where someone asks a simple question and the person in charge goes on and on unnecessarily in response. Remember that most questions can be answered simply. Remind yourself. Everyone you work with will appreciate your ability to be concise. And frankly, it’s also polite. We like the sound of our own voices more than other people do.

6. Realize that certain opinions are best left unspoken. Yes, everyone is entitled to an opinion. But that doesn’t mean we need to offer all of ours up. The other day, Martha Stewart declared that she doesn’t think bloggers are experts. Okay, Martha. Sure, that’s your opinion. But I think that was foolish of her, because I’m guessing there are many, many bloggers who help promote her lifestyle brand. What purpose did undermining them serve her? I’m not sure. But it may end up hurting her business. She needs bloggers and influencers as much as everyone else does to push her brand.

7. Get comfortable with awkward silences. When it comes to the art of negotiation, I’ve learned a simple truth: Never speak first. After I explicitly state what it is I want, I clam up. When we’re uncomfortable with an awkward silence, it’s tempting to fill it quickly, but if you do, you might end up saying something without thinking it through. I’ve discovered that the first person to speak usually loses the argument. So make your point, be confident and force yourself to wait for a response.

I really liked your article. But sometimes facts are important.
What if, the couple share house work equally, but wife comes and says – “I don’t feel you help me out at all around the house”. Now in this case the husband’s response would most likely be to point out the facts of what each of them have been doing, which would stretch out in a long argument. Now, if the husband just listens and acknowledge her truth – that he doesn’t help around. then isn’t he setting himself up to do more. And potentially, even with him doing more, they can be back to the same point every week – because the wife’s feelings are not based on facts.

I am glad you enjoyed my post 🙂 And yes of course, sometimes facts are important. I am not suggesting that this is an ALL OR NOTHING issue, or that communication always has to be one way. In the situation you describe above, I think it would be important to honor both the feelings and the actual data. ie, understanding that the wife does not feel taken care of, and saying something to honor that. And then having a plan to sit down, write it all out and redistribute the chores in an equal way that feels good to both of you and that is fair. Both are true: the feelings AND the facts 🙂

I read this article, all of its reply and comments and all and this has truly blown my mind. This has cleared many things for me. Thanx to all of you.

I won’t speak for other men. And I can’t speak for women. But here’s my perspective concerning the most common reasons men argue with women.

Reason #1: Men hear inconsistencies, and are inclined to set the record straight.

I have to admit, were you to tell me that you had climbed “at least 1,000 steps” at a stadium known to have only 900 steps, I’d likely respond in the same manner as your husband. The intent wouldn’t be to make you feel discounted in any way. Rather, the response would be spurred by my desire to rectify the inconsistency.

For example, if my wife were to say, “Item XYZ only cost a few dollars,” and I know that it cost $30, the inconsistency would create a cognitive buzz that would drown out everything else. I’m not saying it’s a great way to be. I’m just saying that’s how I, as a man, am.

Reason #2: Men often feel they have to defend themselves against accusations.

In most arguments I’ve had with women, their assertions tend toward personal attacks. For example, rather than saying “Whether item XYZ was a few dollars or $30 isn’t my point,” she might assert “Why are you always like that?! You’re so nitpicky about stupid stuff like this.”

To wit, a personal attack. At that point, I’d feel inclined to defend myself.

Reason #3: Men often become combative when women refuse to admit the inconsistencies men point out.

Let’s use the “steps at the stadium” example. Suppose you told me you climbed at least 1,000 steps, and I responded by saying the stadium only has 900 steps. Were you to reply, “That’s true. Okay, almost 1,000 steps,” I’d be better able to concentrate on the personal triumph you’re describing to me.

Again, I’m not saying this is a great way to be. It’s my male mind.

It’s worth noting that I’m nearly 50, and most of my male friends have similar perspectives (for better or worse).

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I totally agree with you; many men that I have spoken with, (including my husband), have described the same experience as you do. What you describe is an excellent breakdown of ‘male’ side of why this whole interaction happens.

I think it is important for both people to understand what is the underling process/experience of the other person, and from there, make compromises based on the idea that both people’s perspective are valid, just different. Gaining perspective on the ‘triggers’ is the first step to finding away to get both people’s needs met.

Thanks again for the GREAT description of the ‘male’ perspective on this issue.

inspired girl aka Barbara

Thank you for writing this. I think much of the difference in communications is cultural/gender related.

When a man talks to a women about his feelings, problems or experiences, the last he wants is for that woman to respond by arguing how that feeling, problem or experience is irrational, invalid and easily fixable. Yet for some reason that’s exactly what men “offer” women…who don’t happen to appreciate that.

Women tend to look for ways to validate others people’s experiences no matter how strange or illogical because of an assumption that maybe something seems weird only because we are just not that person. Women don’t expect to ever come to perfect agreement on anything but to understand perspectives in order to be able to live a bit more happily. A lot of that open mindedness is imposed because it’s a necessary coping mechanism in a male dominated environment. Women are expected to be flexible and understanding. Men are not: they are expected to be rigid and authoritative.

Women and men want the same things in an active listener. Women are trained from a young age how to be good at that as it is absolutely a necessity as the traditional nurturers in society. Women are taught that being openly competitive is an unattractive trait. Men are taught the reverse, and on top of that to see women as their inferiors. No man or woman is impervious to these influences.

We all love to argue (as is evidenced by the comments on some of the topics on Listverse) but oftentimes an argument ends in a yelling match with insults flying and no conclusion being drawn. Therefore, I have put together this list of tips to help all of us in our future debates – on the site and off. If you take heed of all of my suggestions here, you will be in a much stronger position in future arguments. If you find this list useful, I also recommend you read the book How to Argue & Win Every Time, by Gerry Spence.

How to always win an argument

When debating you should never raise your voice. You should remain calm at all times. The louder you talk, the louder your opponent talks – and the end result is a yelling match. And of course, it goes without saying that you should definitely not resort to violence. You can even try to talk quieter than normal – as this can draw people in to you and it can make you appear wise. An argument is not won by the person with the loudest voice, it is won by the person with the most compelling arguments.

How to always win an argument

It is a good idea to try to get your opponent on your side by making statements that you know he agrees with – this puts you in the strong position in the debate. You don’t even need to use a fact relating to your debate – you could, for example, in a debate about the existence of God state “I am sure you agree with me when I say that petrol is overpriced”. As soon as your opponent agrees, you have won a psychological battle. You are no longer the opponent – you are a comrade. This technique is so effective it is used by telemarketers all the time.

How to always win an argument

It is not a good idea to blatantly tell your opponent that he is wrong – instead you should show that he is wrong through good counter-arguments. Telling a person they are wrong merely annoys them and does nothing for your argument as (at least until you can prove it), it is a subjective comment. Be humble in the debate and show good will – not only will it make you look good if you win, it will show that you are a worthy opponent even if you lose.

How to always win an argument

Never resort to name calling – even if your opponent does. You must attack your opponent’s argument – not their person. As soon as you begin to criticize your opponent, it becomes obvious that you have run out of ways to defend your view. These types of insults (ad hominem) are a sure way to lose a debate. You should be pleased if your opponent resorts to this feeble attempt to escape the real debate as it means you are close to victory.

How to always win an argument

When arguing, both parties need to agree on fundamental “truths” to begin with – if you don’t, there can be no debate. What is the point of arguing that the Bible was written by God, when your opponent doesn’t even believe in God? First you should debate the existence of God. If you both agree that He exists, you can then debate the smaller points. If your opponent convinces you that God can not exist, there is little point in arguing about the authorship of the Bible. This is the structure seen in the Summa Theologica by Saint Thomas Aquinas – he starts with the basic points, presents arguments and counter-arguments, and moves on when each point is “proven” by logic.

How to always win an argument

When a person is beginning to lose an argument, it is quite common to see them try to divert the topic at hand to another – thereby hoping you will not notice their weakness and will get entangled in a whole new debate. When this happens, don’t fall for it. Return to the original topic immediately. Do not give any time to other topics (no matter how tempting it may be) until you have completed the first.

How to always win an argument

This is the “socratic method”. When your opponent states a “fact” – probe deeper in to the fact with questions that are designed to expose its flaws – these are usually “tell me more” type questions: “can you give me an example?”, “Another way of looking at this is …, does this seem reasonable?”. These questions will invariably lead your opponent to the truth – and if they are honest, they will concede. Unfortunately this is not always the case – I have seen frustrated people depart the debate in anger because they believe you are “trying to trick” them. But don’t worry – this is a win if it happens.

How to always win an argument

After making a strong argument, let your opponent do all the talking – especially if he lacks the facts to oppose you. He will bluster and fumble – giving you a variety of new weapons with which to attack him. This may not lead to him conceding defeat – but it may lead to him walking away from the debate – a clear victory for you. Many an argument has been won by not arguing at all! As an aside, this is an excellent method for getting your own way – make your request, and when it is declined remain silent. This usually makes the other person so nervous (as no one likes silence) that they may give in just to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

How to always win an argument

Do not state that something is “true” unless you absolutely know it is – be prepared to prove it if necessary. It is incredibly annoying to debate a topic with a person who is simply making up their argument on the fly. You wouldn’t like it if people did it to you – so don’t do it to others. Only engage in a debate that you know you can win based on facts.

How to always win an argument

If you have all the facts to back you up, you should be able to win your argument if your opponent is honest. But there will always be times when your opponent gets the better of you and they corner you. When this happens, be a gentleman and concede the win. You should always be graceful in defeat. Nothing is worse than a person who argues simply for the sake of it and absolutely will not give in – no matter how obvious their loss.

How to always win an argument

Arguments are inevitable in any human endeavor. Unfortunately, few people know how to argue effectively. As a result, many business meetings waste time and money in pointless squabbling.

When confronted with a contrary opinion, unsophisticated people tend attack the other person’s credibility (e.g., “Marketing doesn’t know crap about selling”). This never wins an argument; at best, it devolves into mutual name-calling.

The more sophisticated approach is to attempt to undercut the other person’s argument by pointing out its weaknesses. However, focusing on an argument’s weaknesses is setting up a strawman that makes another person’s position easy to argue against.

For example, suppose you’re having a budget discussion over where to spend marketing dollars. Joe wants to spend the money on a trade show while Jane wants to spend the money on a new website. Their argument might look like this:

  • Joe: “Our current website doesn’t create any sales leads, so why throw good money after bad?”
  • Jane: “At the last trade show, all we got was 20 business cards! What’s the point?”

By focusing on the weaknesses of each other’s positions, both Joe and Jane are creating and then attacking strawman characterizations. N either will be convinced because they sense that the other person is being unfair. The most likely result is an unproductive squabble.

Winning an argument permanently would mean convincing the other person that his or her position is invalid and your position is correct. A ccording to a recent article in The Atlantic , the best way to accomplish this is to create a ” steelman ” (rather than a strawman ) version of the other person’s argument. You then argue against the steelman before presenting your own position.

To create a steelman, you put yourself in the shoes of the other person and muster from your own imagination the strongest arguments in favor of that position. This completely disarms the other person, if only because it’s so unexpected. Example:

  • Jane: “Trade shows can create a lot of value for our company. In addition to generating sales leads, they give our salespeople and engineers to the opportunity to bond with customers. Trade shows are also good public relations; we sometimes get press coverage when we attend and, if we missed an important show, people might think that we’re in financial trouble. Joe, have I fairly represented your case?”
  • Joe: “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

By correctly and positively characterizing Joe’s position, Jane has increased her credibility. She’s also gone through a mental exercise that will allow her to more objectively understand Joe’s position. She may even have discovered that Joe’s idea is better than hers!

But let’s suppose that Jane still believes her position is correct. By creating a steelman, she has surfaced all the points that she’ll need to argue against to convince Joe that he’s wrong. That might look like this:

  • Joe: “So, we’re in agreement? We’re doing the trade show?”
  • Jane: “Not so fast. This trade show isn’t widely covered by the press; most of the publicity we’ve gotten in the past was from our own press release that we were attending. Several of our competitors didn’t show up at this show last year, so it’s unlikely that anyone would think it strange if we followed suit. In three months, we’re having our annual user group meeting, which will provide ample opportunity to meet-and-greet customers. As for sales leads, most of the attendees of this trade show are competitors rather than prospects, which is probably why we’ve not gotten many usable sales leads in the past. As such, I’m not sure that the expense justifies the benefits.”

Jane has effectively neutralized anything that Joe might say at this point, but without attacking Joe or unfairly characterizing his position. This leaves the field free for Jane to present her own argument, like so:

  • Jane: “By contrast, a new website would create value for our company in the following ways . “

Chance are that Jane’s arguments will win, especially if she presents her own steelman, thereby making it difficult for Joe to create a strawman.

But what if Joe takes the same approach as Jane and himself creates (and attacks) a steelman version of Jane’s position? So much the better for everyone involved and for the company, too.

Rather than squabbling and name-calling, Jane and Joe are now discussing the real issues, with both fully understanding the other’s position. They’re far more likely to reach agreement on the wisest way to spend the marketing budget. And that’s win-win.

How to always win an argument

Picture: Getty Images

I was coaching an executive on influencing skills this week. I taught him a technique that I have found incredibly powerful. So powerful, you can even use it to great effect, with evil intent.

I’m not suggesting that you’d do this, but I do love a good debate. It’s possible there may have been times, at a dinner party or two, where I’ve used this approach to sound far more impressive than the merits of my argument deserved.

Let me talk you through it.

How to always win an argument

Rob Davidson. Photo: Supplied

Andrew (not his real name) was attending an important meeting. Several of his senior colleagues would be in attendance and he wanted to make a good impression. He knows his stuff, but in the presence of senior executives he can feel intimidated and doesn’t present the best version of himself. He stumbles and fails to present his viewpoint with the same authority and confidence he displays when talking to his own team.

Sound familiar? I suspect we’ve all felt this way at times.

I taught Andrew a technique called PREP, which he reported back to me, worked wonderfully.

It stands for Point, Reason, Example, Point, and it’s a great tool to help you structure an impromptu speech or to answer a tough question when you’re put on the spot.

This is how it works. Think of a situation where you might be required to defend your position or argue your point of view on a critical issue. This might be at your next executive meeting or perhaps in front of a potential client. Or at that next dinner party.

To illustrate, let’s take an extreme example.

Suppose you’re attending your next executive meeting and the CEO puts you on the spot, singling you out, she asks:

‘So, what’s your view on how we’re functioning as a team?’

If ever there was a question guaranteed to provoke an emotional response, this is it. It would be easy to become defensive and evasive in this situation, but that’s not how a top executive would respond.

This is where having the structure of PREP to fall back on can help.

Note –before responding, pause and count to two. We sound ill-considered when we rush straight in. By pausing for two seconds you will sound more considered and it’ll give you the thinking space to provide a concise and structured response using the PREP approach.

Point

I think there is room for us to improve.

Reason

The reason I say this is I feel we are tending to operate in silos and this is impacting our ability to cross-market and to service our clients effectively. It is also affecting our ability to communicate a consistent message to the business.

Example

Provide one and preferably two relevant examples to illustrate your point.

Point

So, on that basis, no I don’t believe we are operating effectively as a team right now. I think we have room to improve.

PREP allows you to deliver a mature and reasoned approach, which relies on facts not emotion. Others might not agree with you but you’ve delivered a mature and reasoned response befitting of an executive.

This approach helps you develop what is known as an executive presence. It’s the X factor which differentiates effective executives from the rest. It’s a quality that’s hard to describe, but you know it when you see it.

I’ve also used PREP to good effect in client meetings.

Suppose you are pitching your services in the hope of winning a large piece of work. At some stage you have to discuss how you will get a better result than they would through using their internal resources or using one of your competitors?’

Using the PREP approach your response would be structured as follows:

Again, inserting the two second pause before responding, your response might be:

Point

Because we’ll get you the best outcome. (Note: how arrogant this response sounds on its own but when supported by the structure of PREP it takes on a different feel)

Reason

The reason I am able to say this with confidence is that we specialise in this area. We have over ten years’ experience in dealing with similar problems for a range of companies in your industry. Our client testimonials attest to the fact that our deep expertise enables us to identify the real issues faster and draw on our previous experience to tailor make solutions that exceed our clients’ expectations.

Example

For example… (at this point quote two relevant examples of similar projects and the impressive outcomes?)

Point

For this reason, I think we are the best people do this project for you.

PREP is a great technique to master if you want to be a more effective communicator. I’ve found that while many people might know the right answer, the prize goes to the person who can best express themselves when it matters most. Effective communication and influencing skills are two of the keys to career success in almost every job.

Practice using PREP over the next few weeks both at work and in social settings.

I’d be keen to hear how you go. Drop me a line.

Lawyer turned recruiter and talent strategist, Rob Davidson is the founder of one of Australia’s leading HR consulting and recruitment company, Davidson. Rob is also in high demand as an executive and career coach, keynote speaker on adaptive change and reinvention, business advisor and growth strategist. He started Davidson in 1991 as a one man start-up, specialising in legal recruitment. Rob was instrumental in the development of the strategy to expand Davidson beyond the boundaries of Brisbane.

How to always win an argumentWives: Please don’t read this. There’s nothing here for you to learn. Thank you very much.

Husbands: As you know, arguing is a big part of being married. The main thing about an argument with your wife is that you never want to lose one. Losing an argument makes you look stupid. Besides, would you have ever even gotten into an argument with your wife if, going in, you didn’t know you were totally, 100% right about the subject at hand? Of course you wouldn’t have.

Remember: If you’re in an argument, you are right about whatever it is you’re arguing about. Don’t let your wife’s feminine wiles or disturbingly keen grasp of analytical logic dissuade you from this all-important fact. You are right. You are right, you are right, you are right. You know it. The key is getting her to know it.

Here are some hard won tips I’m sure can help you win your next argument with your wife.

1. Don’t talk. Never forget that silence is golden. If you’re in an argument with your wife, it’s unlikely your case will be strengthened by your talking. If you clam up by reading or watching TV, chances are good that your wife will eventually scream herself hoarse, and then give up the fight altogether. Score! Remember that in a genuine, down-and-dirty argument, a tie is as good as a win. Never lose sight of the fact that ultimately refusing to participate in a fight means winning that fight.

2. Change the subject. A lot of times in a fight the wife will insist on sticking to the subject. Don’t let this dastardly strategy distract you from one of your key objectives in any argument with your wife, which is to as often and subtly as possible change the subject. Remember: It’s hard to hit a moving target. Stand firm in your resolution to constantly duck and switch. Sure, your wife may be smarter than you. But you’re the man of the family. That means you’re faster. Do not hesitate to avail yourself of this natural, God-given advantage.

3. Be conciliatory in a harsh tone. Women are extremely sensitive to tone. If in a harsh, argumentative tone you say things that are in fact conciliatory, you can oftentimes confuse your wife into not being sure whether she’s lost the argument or not. This can create a situation in which you can force the draw, or even go for the win. Never forget the classic Male Fight Line: “Oh, I see. So now we’re not talking about what I said, but the tone I said it in. Great. So we’ve just entered crazy land.” This arguing technique allows you to concede just enough to let her think she’s won something, but to then take it back by accusing her of being too emotional to recognize when you’ve attempted a compromise. Perfect!

I could go on, but I think these three argument strategies should be enough to ensure any husband’s victory in a fight with his wife. They’ve always worked for me, anyway.

Okay, fine. They’ve never worked for me. But I’m not going to let that stop me from continuing to employ them in every fight I ever have with my wife. And I hope that you, my fellow men out there, will also never stop using these venerable husband arguing techniques, which I am sure you join me in feeling confident must one day, finally, if only in one stupid argument, prevail.

The journey of love is full of obstacles, getting it and going through it is full of joy and sorrow. Do some argument with her is a natural thing in relationships. So, you do not have to worry if you argue with your girlfriend, face her and know some of the reasons.

How To Beat Your Girlfriend In An Argument

Arguing with the girlfriend does not mean your relationship will end. Arguing with a girlfriend can actually strengthen your relationship. Let’s check this out.

1. Understanding Of Her

This is your golden opportunity. Both of your arguments can help you to understand what she thinks. In here, you can also see another point of view about what she really wants. This one can also be the best Ways to Deal with an Indecisive Partner.

2. Always Open Minded

Every problem that you face with your girlfriend is always openly discussed, even if it is with an argument. This is better than keep it, right?

3. Quickly Find A Solution

How to always win an argument

Arguing with a girlfriend can be a positive thing, though it’s full of emotion. However, with this, you will realize that you learn to compromise in order to get a solution.

4. No Worse Suspect

Blowing out emotions by arguing clearly shows that you and she is no need to suspicious. In here, you do not need to hold a feeling. Talk it all openly.

5. The Original Character

An argument with the girlfriend will show each of your original characters. When she is wrapped in emotion you will understand what she wants. Well, if her original character is out, can you face it? You will know the Differences Between Dating A Girl or A Woman.

Your Girlfriend, Is She Selfish?

An assumption says that someone who likes to argue indicates she or he is a selfish person.Identify this following signs, and confirm the truth.

1. Not Willing To Give Up

This sign is the most striking sign. A selfish person does not want to lose under any circumstances. She does not care whether it’s right or wrong, she’ll never to give up.

2. Everything Should Go According To Her Plan

She always has a plan and her plan should go according to her plan, whether it works or not. You must obey her whether you like it or not. It also signifies that she is a selfish person.

3. Always See Your Weakness

Does she always see all your weakness and mistakes? 100% she is a selfish person. She is easy to find all your weakness, but her own weakness she can not see it.

4. Angry While You Hiding Something

Is she easily angry? Just because you keep a secret or you hiding something. She even blames you for that. Once again, she is indeed truly a selfish person.

5. She Felt The Most Right

Everything you do is wrong. But everything she did was right. This is very wrong, freely your relationship with her if you do not want to feel like in hell.

6. Do Not Want To Believe You

Being a perfect person, that’s what she is selfish. A selfish person will always beware, and she can not trust anyone including his own partner.

7. Always Want To Win In Arguing

The last sign, if your girlfriend is selfish. She must always want to win in every argument. Whether she is wrong or not, she does not care. She just thinks to win, win and win. She can always make his own boyfriend give up.

8. Never Wanted To Apologize

How to always win an argument

A selfish person will never admit her mistake. She always refuses to apologize and instead gets you back to say “sorry” first.

Some Zodiac Signs Are Like To Argue

This zodiac signs, is it possible that she belongs to some of this following zodiacs? Some of the following zodiacs are reportedly linked to argue with others. Look at this. See also how zodiac signs act in relationship.

1. Aries

This sheep zodiac has competitive and aggressive properties. It is no wonder she will always defend her argument even if she is wrong. This zodiac is very stubborn and she has high emotions.

2. Taurus

Like Aries, Taurus also has high persistence and stubbornness. She always attacks the other person when she in argues, even though he is her own boyfriend.

3. Cancer

This crab zodiac is easily controlled by emotions. When arguing with her, she feels that her beliefs are true. She is very determined to keep it as strong as possible.

4. Scorpio

Argumenting with Scorpio will feel like being interrogated by the investigator. Scorpio will not stop arguing until she gets the truth from you. In arguing she will show a loud expression of face and tone. Sometimes she also uses sarcasm in how to communicate.

5. Capricorn

This last zodiac felt herself is most right and she always wanted to win in every argument. Do not expect her to give in easily.

Tips To Win Your Girlfriend In An Argument

As human beings, we all have different principles. To suspend our arguments, we must have tips on how to beat her in an argument. If your argument is right, Why should we give up?

1. Keep Calm

First thing, you must do not panic and stay calm. If your emotion is up, your argument will be attacked by her. This will enlarge your problem and it will not result in a solution. How to beat your girlfriend in an argument is easy, just calm and hug her.

2. Use Your Logic

In arguing, use your logic. In here you must show her when there is something happened because of a cause and the cause it will produce a result.

3. Know The Facts First

Learn the facts to win an argument with her. If you have accurate facts, she will not be able to knock you down. With the fact, this argument will stop by itself.

4. Serious In Listening To Her

How to always win an argument

How to beat your girlfriend in an argument? Look at her eyes and concentrate on what she says. In here, you will get the information that you need. Avoid looking for her faults. Just listen to what she complained, who knows you can give the solution for her.

5. Be Careful Of The Word That You Say

Be careful with words that you are not sure of the truth. It is better to prepare yourself for the technical questions that she throws at you. To win an argument, you can ask her back like “For example how?” or “What is the process?”

6. Stay Focus

Stay focused on your arguments, lest she diverts your arguments. If she diverts you to another matter, then she does not have a strong argument. Definitely, you are the winner.

7. Be Honest

The last thing that matters most in is that you have to be honest. How much trouble you face with her. Do not act foolishly if your relationship is broken because of a trivial argument.

The key to beating girlfriend’s argument is emotion and logical thinking. Defeat your emotions first and think according to the facts that you know. So, now you are ready to beat her?

1 One thing that’s hard to understand – for parents and teenagers – is the hypothalamus reaction. This is when you get an extreme reaction that can happen quickly, in reaction to very little or even nothing. This explains why one minute you seem to have a reasonable child and the next, bam. Neural pathways go through a reordering in adolescence. There’s not much point trying to have a calm discussion during these “storms”. Just as you might defer a walk during a downpour, wait for the storm to pass before resuming a more reasonable discussion. During these explosive times, it feels, to the teen, that they are “fighting for their lives”.

2 Don’t be afraid to have a row – some adolescents say they actually like arguing sometimes because it enables them to put their point of view across and “things can’t get any worse”. In other words, especially if you have a fairly reasonable child, an argument may be the only time they can tell you how they really feel.

3 Never underestimate how powerfully they can be attracted to another teenager, or how much they may want a possession. If you’re arguing about this and get between your teenager and the object of their desire (real, imagined or consumer goods) you will come out badly unless you handle things carefully. Try to apply “logical parenting” – look at the real risks (not just those you fear) and at how your child usually handles similar situations. If they are normally responsible you can afford to give them a bit more freedom, if not you can feel confident in saying no.

4 In response to “you don’t understand/you don’t know what I’m talking about”, avoid saying “I do, I went through similar”. Instead, try something like: “OK, maybe I don’t, but help me understand.” Teenagers are so used to being told what to do by adults that this may stop them in their tracks. And you might learn something.

5 Never lose sight of what they are trying to communicate to you, even in a row. That rabid desire for the latest computer game? It may be a sign that real life is too stressful and they need an escape. Use phrases like “what would that mean to you?” or “what would happen if you didn’t get it?” to ascertain why it matters. Even if you then say no (and it is not only OK to say no, but necessary at times), they will have felt listened to.

6 Don’t try to win every argument if your teen has a point. If you want them to grow up with good critical-thinking skills, they need to learn that they are listened to and, at times, may be right. Instead of saying, “that’s my decision and that’s the end of the matter” try deferring the discussion for a time when you can both calmly talk about it. If something keeps coming up, it’s obviously important. For instance, it may be less about that individual party they want to go to and more the subject of how much freedom your teen has. Say, “look, this obviously really matters to both of us, let’s continue to discuss it on Saturday morning (or whenever).” Another good phrase is “I really want to give this some thought, so let’s talk about it on X” – some decisions do take careful thought and it’s really important to “model” this to your teen.

7 Know your child and never be afraid of them. Don’t be put off by the grunts and silence. Keep working at it and don’t just leave them to it. Teenagers need their parents just as much as ever, just in different ways: they need them not to be intrusive or controlling. Strike when the iron is cold – don’t discuss important issues when you’re both really angry. If you feel rejected by your teen, you may need to do some work on yourself.

8 If the argument is getting very emotional, try introducing a practical element such as “what time did you say the party was?” or “what does that game do?” It can trigger the hypothalamus reaction into “calm” mode (or calmer).

9 Don’t be afraid to allow humour into a row. If you are screaming at each other, humour can be a great defuser and teenagers love an adult who can have a laugh at themselves (don’t laugh at them, though, or you’ll have another row on your hands).

10 However big they seem, whatever they say – they need you. Never issue an ultimatum unless you can safely carry it out and never use love as a bargaining tool. “I’m getting out of your face, but not out of your life and this is where I’ll be when you want to talk” is a great thing to say if the row has run out of traction.

With thanks to Alison Roy, a child and adolescent psychotherapist