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How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

This article was co-authored by Minoti Mehta. Minoti Mehta is the Founder of Vermilion Weddings & Events, an event and wedding planning business based in San Francisco, California. Minoti grew up in the event and wedding planning space and has over five years of event planning experience. She has been invited to participate as a Delegate at five exclusive Event Planner Conferences including Destination Wedding Planners Congress and Planners Xtraordinaire and has become known as one of the Top Wedding and Event Planners in the San Francisco Bay Area. Minoti’s work has been featured on NDTV India, Love Stories TV, Maharani Weddings, and WedWise India. Vermilion Weddings & Events was also awarded WeddingWire’s Couple’s Choice Award in 2018. Minoti has a BS in Hospitality Management and Accounting from the University of San Francisco.

There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

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There are seemingly endless elements that go into planning a wedding, but sending out invitations is one of the most vital! Once you’ve picked out the perfect invitations and narrowed down your guest list, send the invitations out in plenty of time so your guests can start making plans to attend. Be sure to address and mail the envelopes correctly to make sure everyone gets their invitation. If you’re not keen on sending out a lot of paper invitations, consider alternatives, such as digital invitations.

About nine months before your wedding, it’s time to send out your save the dates. If you’re wondering how to address these save the dates, we’re here to help. It’s actually very similar to addressing the envelopes for your wedding invitations, so it’s good practice for when that time rolls around (about two months before the wedding).

The only difference between addressing wedding invitations and a save the date envelope is that the save the dates don’t have to be as formal. Traditionally, wedding invitations must include titles (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., Rev., etc.) unless the wedding is an extremely casual affair. On save the dates, however, titles are optional. So ultimately, it’s up to you.

Whatever you prefer, read on for a breakdown of how to address wedding save the dates in every situation.

How to Address Save the Dates to a Single Female

When addressing a single female, simply include both her first and last name. If you'd like to use a title, use "Ms." if she is over 18 and "Miss" if she is under 18.

Examples:

  1. Ashleigh Nichol
  2. Ms. Ashleigh Nichol
  3. Miss Ashleigh Nichol

If you’re extending a plus one, simply add “and guest” to the address, as follows:

  1. Ashleigh Nichol and Guest
  2. Ms. Ashleigh Nichol and Guest
  3. Miss Ashleigh Nichol and Guest

How to Address Save the Dates to a Single Male

No matter his age, the first and last name can be used without Mr. However, if you do want to include the title, he should be over 18.

Examples:

  1. Javier Lagos
  2. Mr. Javier Lagos

As with a single female, if you're extending a plus one, simply add "and guest" to the address:

  1. Javier Lagos and Guest
  2. Mr. Javier Lagos and Guest

How to Address Save the Dates to Married Couples

You should include both people's names in the couple. You can go the traditional route and include titles and full names, but since this is a save the date rather than a formal invitation, it's also perfectly acceptable to leave off the titles—again, it's up to you. Traditionally, the man is listed first. However, if the couple has distinguished titles (such as doctors, reverends, military personnel, etc.) and you'd like to include them, list the person with the distinguished title first.

And, again, because this is a save the date and not a formal invitation, it's still permissible to leave titles off altogether.

Examples:

  1. Peter and Alison Smith
  2. Mr. and Mrs. Peter Smith
  3. Mr. Peter Smith and Mrs. Alison Smith
  4. Dr. Alison Smith and Mr. Peter Smith

How to Address Save the Dates to Dating Couples or Married Couples With Different Last Names

If the couple doesn't share a last name, but they're sharing an invitation, make sure to include both their names, even if you're only friends (or know) one half of the couple. If you use "and guest," it's less personal and it technically means they could swap out their SO for anyone else—and let's say the couple breaks up right before the wedding. Do you really want some random rebound on the arm of the invitee? No, thank you.

Address the save the date with both of the couple's names. Traditionally, the man's name goes first, but if you're close to the woman and her boyfriend is coming as her guest, switch up the order and put her name first. If you're addressing a same-sex couple, you can also list the person you're closest to first, or, if you're close to both, you can simply alphabetize the order.

Examples:

  1. Sarah Davis and Ross Craton
  2. Ms. Sarah Davis and Mr. Ross Craton
  1. Anna Krups-Smith and Danny Smith
  2. Mrs. Anna Krups-Smith and Mr. Danny Smith

How to Address Save the Dates for Families

To make it clear that a couple can bring children, you can list out each child or simply put the family's name.

If you're going to use titles, girls under 18 should be addressed as Miss and boys under 18 should have no title.

Going to send out wedding invitation soon. While I am clear:

1) For married couple, we write:

Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Doe

Mr first concern is: not all married couples have the same last names. Would they be offended if I send all of them with shared last names?

2) For unmarried couple living together, we do:

Ms. Mary William

3) For a single parent and a kid (mom or dad passed away), we do:

4) My second concern is here.

For married couple with 3 children (living together) and one of a child’s boyfriend invited. Children are around age of 24 to 28 and they are working now.

I am debating how we should address it:

a) Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Doe

Betty, Kelly, Jason and Tom (Betty’s boyfriend)

b) Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Doe

c) Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Doe

Betty, Kelly, Jason and guest

d) The Doe Family

John, Mary, Betty, Kelly, Jason and Tom

Please helppppppp TYYYYY

4 Comments

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

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To answer your first question, I don’t think married couples who don’t share the same last name should be offended if you are using their own last names on the invitation.

To answer your second question, I would say it would be between A & D

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How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

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Why would you go through the effort to use unique names for unmarried couples living together but not give the same consideration to married couples with different last names?

I’m not planning on changing my name after marriage and while I generally wouldn’t get offended if I was ever referred to casually as Mrs. [FH’s Last Name], I am making a conscious decision to keep my maiden name . I feel like if you would take the time to get to address unmarried couples using the correct last names why not show the same respect for someone who is married and chose not to change their last name?

I feel it’s one thing to make a name assumption (like a school teacher calling the parents of a kid Mr. or Mrs. [Kid’s Last Name]) but it’s another to just refer to a woman by her husband’s last name if you know she has a different one.

Using the name a person has chosen is a sign of respect. We are using the legal last names of every guest on our list, regardless of their marriage status. It didn’t take that long to check in with all of our recently married friends to determine which last name(s) each person is now using. I feel that if these people are important enough to us to invite them to our wedding, I want to honor what names each of them have chosen for themselves.

As a side, I work at a college and we have a small road race for students and families as part of our family weekend events. One year a student and his parents all ran the race, and when the parents crossed the line I didn’t know their names but knew they were the parents of this student so I wrote down “Z’s Dad” and “Z’s Mom”. When I went to ask them their names for the results list, I asked the mom her name and she told me her first name and then I asked “[Z’s last name]?” and she said, well no, I didn’t change my name, but that’s fine. I told her “No, I’m getting married and not changing my name, what’s your name?” and we had a complete bonding moment over it. She so appreciated that I cared about HER name.

  • Reply

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

  • Flag

I think they would be annoyed if you used the man’s last name for a couple who doesn’t share a last name. I would do Mr John Doe & Mrs Mary William

2) For unmarried couple living together,

I would do Mr John Doe & Ms Mary William (on the same line)

4) I would send an invitation to each of them separately. 1 for the parents, 1 for the one adult “child” and her SO, and then 1 for each of the other adult children

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

If you’ve chosen a wedding date and venue, shared your save the dates, and settled on the perfect outfits for your big day, you’re probably ready to send your wedding invitations. While it might seem like a simple task at first, many couples feel lost when it comes to preparing and addressing invitations for their various guests. We’ve rounded up the information you need to know to streamline this process, including how to address your wedding invitations in a way that honors common etiquette.

Essential tips

  • Use “Mx” for gender-neutral titles.
  • The outer envelope lists the guests’ names and mailing addresses.
  • The inner envelope lists who in the household is invited to the wedding and whether a single guest is allowed to bring a plus one.

Addressing married couples

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, put both of their names on the same line. It’s customary to list the name of the person you know best first. If you’re close with both people, list their names in alphabetical order. Be sure to look into whether either guest still uses their maiden name.

On the outer envelope, include the couple’s first and last names. You’ll do this the same way for same-sex couples and heterosexual couples. For example:

John Williams and Davis Miller

Mr. John Williams and Mr. Davis Miller

If the couple has the same last name…

John and Davis Williams

Mr. and Mr. John Williams

On the inner envelope, include the first names or only the titles and surnames. For example:

Mr. Williams and Mr. Miller

If the couple has the same last name…

Mr. and Mr. Williams

Addressing unmarried couples

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple that lives together, list their names on separate lines on the envelope. The person you know best will go first.

On the outer envelope, include the couple’s first and last names. For example:

Ms. Cecily Garcia

On the inner envelope, include the first names or only the titles and surnames.

Addressing plus ones

If you’re allowing guests to bring a plus one, only include the name of the primary guest on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, include the name of the primary guest and the phrase “and Guest.” For example:

Logan Perez (outer envelope)

Logan Perez and Guest (inner envelope)

Addressing children’s names

Traditionally, children’s names are listed only on the inner envelope of their parent’s invitation. The title for a girl is “Miss,” and there is no official title for a boy. If the child is gender-neutral, use “Mx.” If you don’t list the children’s names, the implication is that children are not invited to the wedding.

On the outer envelope, write the family name or only the parents’ names. For example:

Mrs. and Mr. Moore

On the inner envelope, write the parents’ names first, followed by their children’s names. All family members go on the same line. For example:

Jennifer, William, Mx. Sam and Miss Bailey

Addressing children 18 and older

Children of guests who are over 18 and don’t live with their parents should receive a separate invitation. You can choose to use titles or leave them out.

On the outer envelope, include their full name. For example:

Mx. Mason Hernandez

On the inner envelope, include their last name and title or only their first name. For example:

Addressing professional titles

When addressing a wedding invitation to someone like a doctor, it’s customary to use their professional title. You can use the doctor’s abbreviation or spell out the full title.

On the outer envelope, include the doctor’s name and the name of their spouse, if applicable. For example:

Dr. Laura Reed and Mr. Patrick Thomas

If both guests are doctors, you’d write…

Doctors Laura Reed and Patrick Thomas

On the inner envelope, only use the titles and surnames. For example:

Dr. Reed and Mr. Thomas

When both guests are doctors, the invitation will read…

Doctors Reed and Thomas

Addressing distinguished titles

Military personnel, judges, reverends, and those with other distinguished titles should have their titles mentioned on the wedding invitation. You can spell out the full title, or use an abbreviation like “Lt. Col.”, “Maj.”, or “Capt.” for those in the military, “Hon.” for judges, and “Rev.” for reverends.

On the outer envelope, include the full titles and names. For example:

Honorable Oliver Holmes and General Martin Fisher, US Army

For a reverend, you’d write…

Reverend Sally Lucas and James Lopez

If they’re both Reverends…

Reverends Lucas and Lopez

Addressing RSVP response cards

The last piece of addressing your wedding invitations is adding the return address for the RSVP response card. This card should be addressed to the person who is handling the guest list, which is often who’s hosting the wedding. It’s ideal to have the address printed on the wedding invitation envelope for the response card and include postage.

Addressing invitations for a casual wedding

If you’re having a casual wedding, it’s certainly your choice to skip formalities like titles and surnames. Note that if you have older guests expecting formalities, they may be thrown off by a wedding invitation that only includes their first names. Ultimately, though, remember it’s your wedding, and you get to choose how you address the invitations.

Additional tips

  • Before you start addressing your wedding invitations, get organized by going through your guest list and ensuring you have the correct titles and surnames for everyone.
  • Avoid using guest nicknames on formal invitations.
  • Make your invitations extra special by handwriting them in calligraphy. You can also hire a calligrapher if you don’t trust your handwriting.
  • Take your time searching for extra special invitations that exude your style.

Up Next:

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

Whether you send traditional paper invitations or go paperless, you can easily collect RSVPs online.

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

We are continuing our addressing series by discussing how to address invitations to doctors and those with other professional titles. We get a lot of questions about this so we hope this post helps clear the air!

When addressing to a married couple with one doctor, the spouse with the professional title should be listed first. For example:

Doctor and Mrs. Robert Smith

Doctor Elizabeth and Mr. Robert Smith

If both spouses are doctors and they have the same last name, the addressing would be as follows:

The Doctors Elizabeth and Robert Smith

or, The Doctors Smith

What do you do if the couple doesn’t have the same last name? If a woman uses her maiden name both professionally and socially, and her husband is not a doctor, you would address the invitation as follows:

Doctor Elizabeth Brown and Mr. Robert Smith.

If a woman uses her maiden name both professionally and socially and her husband is also a doctor, addressing would be as follows:

Doctor Elizabeth Brown and Doctor Robert Smith.

The same rules apply for those with other distinguished titles that you use for doctors! If you are addressing to a couple with two different titles (e.g. a doctor and a judge) traditional etiquette says to list the person with the higher rank first. However, it is difficult to distinguish which title ranks higher than the other, so we suggest sticking with the “ladies first” rule here!

It is important to keep in mind that some doctors have a professional name and a social name. Elizabeth Smith may prefer to be called Doctor Elizabeth Smith in a professional setting and Mrs. Elizabeth Smith in social settings. As we have said in our other etiquette tips, it is important to know your audience and make sure you do what you think your guest will prefer!

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

There are umpteen etiquette rules on how to appropriately address various titles on envelopes, especially for wedding invitations. If you are simply addressing correspondence or informal invitations, below are some courtesies for you to consider.

Unmarried Couples:
When addressing an envelope to an unmarried couple who lives together, the secret cue they are not married is to write their names independently on two lines and without the word “and,” as in the example below.

For example:

Ms. Holly K. Eason

Mr. R. Stuart Holden

If you’re sending invitation to a couple living together as roommates, but not romantically involved, they should each receive their own invitation!

For Married Couples:

For a married couple, their names are joined together with “and,” and can be addressed on the same line.

For example:

Mr. and Mrs. R. Stuart Holden

If the married couple has different last names, they can still appear on the same line.

When writing the names on two separate lines, their names are still joined with the word “and,” in between.

For example:

Ms. Holly K. Eason

and

Mr. R. Stuart Holden

For both unmarried and married couples, the person with the highest rank is always listed first. For same-sex couples, the names may be listed alphabetically.

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

There is a surprising formality in wedding invitation design. It isn’t your basic party invitation, after all. There are clear etiquette dos and don’ts. For instance, knowing how to address someone is always a bit confusing. What is proper these days? Ms., Miss, Dr., Captain, first names, middle initials — there are many pieces to the social title puzzle. Consider some of the more common scenarios that will come up as you address your wedding invitations.

What’s a Social Title?
Social titles are the prefixes that go before people’s names(i.e. Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss).
It offers the addressee the social respect he or she deserves. Social titles on wedding invitations are protocol whether you are having a black tie affair or a barn wedding.

The Married Couple
The most common guest scenario will be a married couple. The nomenclature is simple enough:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
You may even add the husband’s middle name if you wish, but not as an initial.
Mr. and Mrs. John Quincy Doe
Notice this includes the husband’s first name, but not the wife’s. That changes if the wife hyphenates her maiden and married names.
Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe

Single Guests
Single guests are just as basic — title and name.
Mr. John Doe
For single females, use Ms. if the guest is over the age of 16 and Miss if younger.
Ms. Jane Smith
What if your guests are technically single but a couple just the same? This would include people living together or a serious couple.
Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith

That Tricky Divorce
Divorces make everything more complicated — even addressing wedding invitations. For men, use the standard single format. For the ladies, however, it depends on whether she kept her married name or not. Women who revert to their maiden names become Ms. again.
Ms. Jane Smith
If she held onto her married name, the social title acknowledges that fact.
Mrs. Jane Doe
This would be the correct format for a widowed woman, as well.

Same Sex Couples
Same sex couples use the proper gender title for both parties.
Mr. John Doe and Mr. Paul Smith
If the couple consists of two ladies, use “Ms.” for both.
Ms. Jane Smith and Ms. Barbara Doe
Feel free to list them in any order.

Professional Titles
When it comes to social titles, rank matters. The professional title always trumps the social one, regardless of gender.
If the male has a professional title:
Doctor and Mrs. John Doe
If the female has a professional title:
Doctor Linda Doe and Mr. John Doe
As exhibited in the examples above, make sure to spell out the professional title.
Use this singular statement if both parties have the same last name and professional title.
The Doctors Smith
It gets more complex if they both are doctors but the wife uses a different last name. In that case, put her first in line.
Doctor Linda Smith and Doctor John Doe
This is the basic format no matter what the professional title. For example, military titles fit this same pattern.
Captain and Mrs. Jon Doe

Still confused? It’s quite understandable! So ask your most burning, social title etiquette questions! We’d love to hear from you.

Let’s talk about wedding etiquette and honorifics! Exciting right? Not so much. You’re here because you need to know ASAP how to address wedding invitations the right way without offending anyone–not for a full-on grammar lesson.

In today’s post, you’ll quickly learn how to address wedding invitation envelopes like a pro.

You’ve hired a calligrapher, bribed a best friend with good handwriting or opted for printed envelope addressing. Your wedding guest list is before you, along with hundreds of envelopes.

Now it’s time to #getitdone.

Whether you’re a traditional, modern or laid back bride, your entire wedding invitation suite should have a sense of formality. And that includes your envelopes too!

Wedding etiquette can be confusing, specifically for those “special snowflake” situations where you don’t want to offend anyone. You know, like addressing an envelope where the wife is a Doctor, or maybe you have a girl-power Aunt who isn’t crazy about being called “Mrs. John Smith”. (She has her own name, too!)

Thankfully, I have an easy-to-follow guide for wedding envelope addressing to help you get it done easily, quickly and correctly.

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple

A Few Tips Before Getting Started

But first! A few helpful tips for wedding envelope addressing.

Miss, Ms or Mrs? Miss is for a girl under the age of 18. Ms. is used for an unmarried woman or a married woman who doesn’t change her last name. If you are unsure how a woman wants to be addressed, use Ms.

Never use initials. It is acceptable to use middle names if you know them, but never abbreviate them. Mr. John I. Smith should be written as Mr. John Isaac Smith.

Keep proper nouns in mind. The phrases “and guest” or “and family” are not proper nouns and do not need to be capitalized.

Spell everything out. This includes state names, directional words (i.e. North, South), street titles (like Drive, Avenue, Boulevard), etc. You don’t have to spell out street numbers (like 101 Westwood Drive), but if a number is the name of the street you may want to spell it out to prevent confusion (such as 101 Sixth Street). For especially formal weddings, spell out street number under 12, such as Twelve Dunmore Drive.

When in doubt, go formal. If you aren’t sure how someone should be addressed, go with the most formal option.

Everyone over 18 should receive their own invitation, even if they are part of the same household. This includes college-age children who live away from home in an apartment or live-in grandparents.

If your event is black-tie, use both inner and outer envelopes. Keep in mind your inner envelope will only include the names of guests invited with no address. The outer envelope will include their formal title (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith) along with their address, your return address, and a postage stamp.

Wedding Envelope Addressing Samples

Use the following guidelines below to address wedding invitation envelopes in a snap! Simply plug the template your guest falls within (i.e. single male), then personalize.

Single female:
Ms. Sarah Thompson

Single male:
Mr. John Smith

Single female with a known guest:
Ms. Sarah Thompson
Mr. Michael Jones

Single female with an unknown guest:
Ms. Sarah Thompson and guest

Remember to keep “and guest” lowercase because it is not a proper noun.

Unmarried couple living together:
Ms. Sarah Thompson
Mr. John Smith

Traditionally, for an unmarried couple living together, names are written on separate lines without the word “and”, which implies marriage. However, many modern couples may wish to use “and” to imply union.

Married couple:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Married couple, the modern way:
Mrs. Sarah Smith and Mr. John Smith

Many modern women may wish to include their first names, instead of being lumped in to their husband’s name. In this case, it is traditional to list the woman’s name first.

Married couple with children invited:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Mason and Isabella

Only include children’s names if they are invited to the wedding. You do not have to begin the second line with “and”. If you plan to use very formal wording, use “Master” when referring to a boy under 13 and “Miss” when referring to a girl or young woman under 18.

Married couple, husband is a “Jr.”:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, junior

If your event is formal, do not abbreviate “junior”. Remember to keep it lowercase, as it is not a proper noun.

Married couple, wife does not change last name:
Ms. Sarah Thompson and Mr. John Smith

In this case, it is traditional to list the woman’s name first.

Married couple, wife has a hyphenated name:
Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Sarah Thompson-Smith

Married couple, husband is a doctor:
Dr. and Mrs. John Smith

Married couple, wife is a doctor:
Dr. Sarah Smith and Mr. John Smith

If the woman is a doctor, her name comes first because her professional title outranks his social title.

Married couple, both are doctors:
The Doctors Smith

Married couple, husband is a judge or elected official:
The Honorable John Smith and Mrs. Smith

The title “The Honorable” can be used for a Judge, Senator, Representative, Governor, Mayor, State Attorney General, Ambassador, or City Council member.

Married couple, wife is a judge:
The Honorable Sarah Smith and Mr. John Smith

Married couple, both are judges:
The Honorable Sarah Smith and The Honorable John Smith

Widow:
Mrs. John Smith
or
Mrs. Sarah Smith

Traditionally, a widow retain’s her husband’s name. However, she may prefer to use her own first name.

Divorced woman who kept her married name:
Mrs. Sarah Smith

Divorced woman who uses her maiden name:
Ms. Sarah Thompson

And there you have it, dear! I hope these tips have gotten you one step closer to marking those invitations one-and-done.

One of the things my clients struggle with is how to address the invitations we’ve so painstakingly created together. I provide an easy-to-use spreadsheet to assist in the process, but as you enter the names in whatever program you use, think about how you want the envelopes addressed. The primary question you need to answer is: Is your event formal or casual? The answer to this question will determine how you should address the invitations.

Here are some examples:

FORMAL

If married, use titles followed by husband’s first and last name:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

If the husband is a Doctor or other official, replace the generic “Mr.” with his title:
Dr. and Mrs. John Doe
Judge and Mrs. John Doe

If the wife is a Doctor or other official, replace the “Mrs.” with her title and include her first name:
Mr. John and Dr. Jane Doe
Mr. John and Honorable Jane Doe

If two adults are living together but are not married, list their names separately, with the woman’s name first:
Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe

If you are addressing the invitation to a single adult woman:
Ms. Jane Doe

If you are addressing the invitation to a single adult man:
Mr. John Doe

If you are addressing the invitation to a family with minor children:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
Master Jason and Miss Melinda Doe

If a parent and an adult child are living together, they would be listed on separate lines so as not to infer they are married:
Ms. Jane Doe
Mr. Jason Doe

CASUAL

If married, use the wife’s and husband’s first names, with wife listed first, so that husband’s name is not separated from his last name:
Jane and John Doe

If two adults are living together, list names separately:
Jane Smith and John Doe

If you are addressing the invitation to a single adult female:
Jane Doe

If you are addressing the invitation to a single adult male:
John Doe

If you are addressing the invitation to a family with minor children:
Jane and John Doe
Jason and Melinda (it’s OK to just list first names of children)

If a parent and an adult child are living together, they would be listed on separate lines so as not to infer they are married:
Jane Doe
Jason Doe

One thing to remember is that these examples are just that: examples. What I would recommend to you if you were my client is to do what makes you most comfortable. The invitation sets the tone for the event, but part of setting the tone includes reflecting your personal style in how the invitations are addressed.

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Niece getting married. Her uncle is engaged to a woman who does not yet live with him, of course. Uncle has one child (over 21) living at home, single, and another living on her own (over 21).

Question #1: How should the invitation to the engaged couple be addressed? To both of them at the uncle’s address or one invitation to each of them at their separate addresses?

Question #2: Should the uncle’s invitation include his two children and be sent to his address and a separate invitation to his finance at her address if the engaged couple are to receive separate invitations?

Question #3: Is it customary or obligatory to invite a guest for each of the cousins even though they are not presently going with anyone seriously?

And Question #4: If one cousin has a serious boyfriend who she has dated for 6 years and the family knows they are planning on getting married but not formally engaged yet, is it wrong to invite her longstanding boyfriend if none of the other cousins are being allowed to bring casual boy/girlfriends?

#1. The invitation can be addressed to both of them at his home address. Because she is his guest and doesn’t live with him, it would be best for her name to be listed under his.

#2. Separate invitations should be sent to each child over the age of 18.

#3. If the cousins are not seeing anyone, an ‘and guest’ is not necessary. Many will allow close family this option, but it isn’t obligatory.

#4. It is customary to invite significant others whether or not they are formally engaged. So, if any of the cousins are in a relationship (a known relationship) these cousins should be allowed to bring this person as long as there is room for them.