Girls might seem impossible to flirt with sometimes. In fact, more than 80% of women can’t even tell if you’re flirting with them!
You need to understand how to make the right moves and get her to like you. Here are 7 Ways to Flirt with Any Girl:
Please note that this information is not professional advice and is only made based off of personal experience. These tips are not scientifically proven to work, but they have helped me flirt with girls effectively and are based off of what has worked for me.
With that being said, let’s dive in on a few basic tips for how to flirt with any girl!
Mess with them. Not aggressively, but enough to make them playfully want to hit you.
It works really well if it’s worked in with a compliment. If you think you can be hurting their feelings, don’t say it.
You can always find something to tease out of anything that’s being talked about. For example, she can be talking about how she has a brother and you can respond with “Is he hot?” Obviously you’re not interested in her brother, but she’ll understand that you’re joking.
When you’re being a flirt, everything needs to be sarcastic. It makes the talk so much easier and if she follows your sarcasm, she will start to open up to you more.
There is no scientific explanation why, but once you take away the seriousness of the conversation, it gets so much easier to flirt with one another.
Not everyone is fast enough to respond with sarcasm of the fly, but try your best even with the small stuff.
For example: She can ask how old you are. If you’re 17, respond with a confident 47. And if she laughs but says “no seriously how old are you”, tell her to guess. This way the conversation flows a lot smoother and you’re playing games with each other.
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Being funny obviously attracts girls. If you flirt without this, you aren’t flirting. The first 2 points above can be incorporated with your funny behavior.
Don’t tell jokes though, tell funny stories if you have any. If not, just make funny remarks to things she says.
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Be Confident No Matter What
If you want to know how to flirt with any girl, at least focus on this tip.
Easier said than done I know. However, you’re not losing anything out of this. The more she realizes that you’re not trying so hard, the more you will both feel comfortable talking.
Stand up tall, act like yourself, and don’t be afraid to make the moves that you want to make. Now by that, I don’t mean kiss her as soon as you feel like it. What I mean is if you want to give her a little touch on the shoulder or pull her out to dance don’t hesitate.
If you notice you’re more confident with a friend next to you, use one. Not as a wingman, but because it might be easier to start conversation or if one of your jokes fails you have a friend who gets it.
This is key and people don’t realize it. I thought for young people it wasn’t so necessary, but it’s absolutely crucial.
Keep your body faced towards her when you’re standing up. I find it that sitting doesn’t necessarily matter as long as you look engaged. Arms must always be open, don’t cross them, look down, or play with your hands.
Don’t constantly smile; only when necessary. You can even give her a slightly annoyed face if she said something stupid or silly to tease her.
Pay attention to her body language too. Is she doing the same as you? Is she playing with her hair? Does she touch you occasionally? Those are all signs that she’s interested.
The Go and Come Back
Possibly my favorite trick when I’m trying to be flirty. You simply go for a while and come back shortly. It makes it seem as if she’s not your number one priority and you have other things to do. No it doesn’t ruin the flirting, it actually makes it stronger.
Once you’ve established a connection with her, get up and go talk to another friend or take a walk around the social event. In the meantime, you can think of things to talk about with her or go get a confidence boost from a friend.
Another trick I’ll use is walking past her and squeezing the side of her belly. She knows I’m thinking about her as I walk by and I get a little tease/touch action.
This does only work when there are other people around so utilize it if you can.
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The greatest flirting technique ever. You can’t over do it, but if you under do it, you’re missing out. If you leave for a second, give her a pat on the side of the shoulder. Give her an elbow tap when you’re messing with her.
Don’t put your arm around her unless you really think it’s appropriate. Definitely don’t touch any inappropriate parts of the body, that’s an instant turn off to them.
They’re supposed to be light, random, playful touches that send a little message. The message being “I’m into you and I want to touch you”.
I’m going to leave the rest up to you for now. Remember, don’t take it too seriously. You’re just talking to another person in a fun and playful style, that’s all.
I hope this showed you some useful tips on how to flirt with any girl. Start implementing these and she will like you in no time!
I hope you enjoyed this post. Have fun on your flirt quest! If you have any questions or comments leave them down below!
One morning last fall, Kyle Benson, 30, sat in his home office, lost in his work. His cat was meowing because its litter box wasn’t clean. As his girlfriend was rushing out the door to get to work, she asked him why he hadn’t cleaned it.
He thought she was criticizing him.
She thought he didn’t care about the cat.
And that’s how the couple got into a heated argument, Benson recalls — over a litter box.
It might sound silly, says Benson, a relationship coach in Seattle, Washington, but the argument revealed a lot about their relationship and how they handle conflict.
“What’s interesting is the research has shown it’s not necessarily conflict that’s bad, it’s how couples interact in conflict,” Benson tells NBC News BETTER.
“The first goal, before even starting to resolve the conflict or try to understand what went wrong, is to try to make a repair attempt …, so then you can actually engage in a dialogue to actually work towards resolving the issue,” he says.
Later that night, Benson and his girlfriend, Heather, used five steps recommended by The Gottman Institute to resolve their conflict.
Step 1: Express how you feel
The first step, according to Benson, is to discuss how each of you felt during the argument.
“By just listing off some of the feelings and not going into the details, it kind of helps both partners start to understand what emotions were present in the conflict and sometimes what was lurking below the surface in terms of the feelings that were there and the perceptions that people had,” says Benson.
Benson explains that their cat was sick and elderly, and has been a source of stress for his girlfriend.
“She’s kind of overwhelmed with losing that cat, kind of grieving that,” he says, adding that “[she felt] I wasn’t really caring about our cat and even about her.”
Benson told Heather that he felt misunderstood and unappreciated.
“I had done a lot for our cat, and so that was a big thing for me to express,” he says.
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Step 2: Share your realities and validate each other
The second step, says Benson, is to listen with intention. You and your partner had two separate experiences during the argument, he says, and you need to understand your partner’s experience rather than only your own.
“One of the things about conflict communication with couples is often the big problem is partners aren’t really listening to each other, and one person is speaking and the other is waiting until their turn to speak, and so you have two monologues going on instead of dialogue,” says Benson.
During this step, you and your partner will take turns acting as listener and speaker, he says.
Speaker: Focus on what you perceived and felt during the argument. Avoid criticizing or blaming the listener.
Listener: Focus on how the speaker experienced the argument, not how you think they should have experienced it. Really try to understand things from their perspective, and validate it. Say things like, “When I see this from your perspective, it makes sense that you felt that way.”
“What that does is it actually slows down the conversation and really helps the listener focus on what their partner is saying rather than interpreting it and bringing in their own personal conversation and dialogue,” he says.
Step 3: Disclose Your Triggers
During this step, while you are taking turns as speaker and listener, each of you should discuss what triggered a strong reaction in you, says Benson.
The couple’s cat used to belong to Heather’s father, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease. She explained to him that she felt stressed about having to care for both her father and the cat, and that seeing the cat cry was a big trigger for her.
Benson explained to his girlfriend that when she demanded he stop working and clean the cat’s litter box, that he felt his boundaries were being violated.
“I felt my personal needs weren’t being addressed, and I talked about my boundaries and what I can and cannot do and how to work with that in a relational way with my partner,” he says.
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Step 4: Take ownership of your role
During this step, Benson says, you both need to take responsibility for the role you played in the conflict.
“She really apologized for how she talked to me,” he says. “She was critical … and she apologized for that.”
Benson acknowledged to his girlfriend that he shouldn’t have responded defensively.
“I owned up to that,” he says, “and we got to a place where we both accepted each other’s apologies.”
Step 5: Preventative planning
During this step, you’ll both discuss ways to argue about the issue more constructively if it happens again, says Benson. Make “positive, actionable” requests, and avoid criticism, he says.
Benson says he and Heather decided to make time at the end of each day to talk about their feelings.
“We can actually start to talk more about … those emotions in our relationship rather than letting them build and potentially cause other issues like this event,” says Benson.
Benson says that using the aftermath of their fight to repair their relationship helped them understand one another’s perspectives and brought them closer together.
“Underneath a lot of these conflicts — even things that seem really silly —there’s often a lot of feelings and deeper meanings and often couples will argue about the content or what happened or who’s right and who’s wrong, and that often makes things worse,” says Benson. “Whereas when we slow down and try to understand each other’s experiences, we can start to bridge the misunderstanding and actually turn that conflict into material for building a much stronger relationship.”
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Advising on how to act around a guy you like isn’t easy as every guy is different. There are many ways in which you can make someone fall for you. While doing so, being yourself is the key to a long-lasting relationship.
Advising on how to act around a guy you like isn’t easy as every guy is different. There are many ways in which you can make someone fall for you. While doing so, being yourself is the key to a long-lasting relationship.
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
– Dr. Seuss
You saw this guy at a party and could soon sense some feelings surfacing. You tried to avoid them, but that something special kept making itself evident every now and then. Somehow you managed to get yourself an introduction through a common friend. You get talking and realize you are actually speaking a lot. Too many things in common is always a good thing, isn’t it? Both of you exchange numbers and meet up a few times over coffee. Your feelings for him won’t curb down and his on the other hand, don’t seem to leave the ground at all. You start wondering if something is really going wrong somewhere. Are you behaving in a manner that you shouldn’t?
Bang! Realization finally hits! But then, what do you do now? Are there some laid-down rules you need to follow? Well, not really! However, there are certain things you should completely avoid in front of a guy you like; a few of these are mentioned below. These will surely help you stay in his mind for good. Just follow the 5 simple tips mentioned below and in no time, you will observe great positive changes!
How You Should Act Around a Guy You Like
Keep It Simple, Silly
The first lesson is to keep everything simple. Guys like girls who are sorted out and easy to be with, but difficult to get. Keep your opinions, suggestions and advice on most things simple and clear. When you are with him, don’t complicate things unnecessarily. Don’t try to ask him too much about himself and don’t tell too much about yourself. If he asks you a question, answer it and if you don’t want to, tell him you can’t and why you can’t do so. Too much of information right from the start, leaves less to discover later. If you don’t like something about him, tell him nicely. Do not act in a way that implies what you think, keep it straight. Even the relationship status should be simple. Either you are friends or you are dating. A girl who is very easy, is hardly ever taken seriously! Even if you love the guy, no dignity for yourself, will mean less respect in his eyes!
Say No to the Jealousy Act
While knowing how to act around a guy you like, always remember this one lesson. Never try to make him jealous. No guy likes competition in the slightest form. There will be times when you might want to show him that you can get anyone you want. However, at such times, he’s just going to think that you can settle for anyone and have no feelings for him. If you like a guy, the first you need to do is maintain a healthy distance from other guys. Let him know that you are a girl who takes time in knowing someone. There may be men who fall for you during this time, but if you have your eyes on this one guy, set good boundaries for others. Since at the moment you aren’t getting much attention from him, you might like it from someone else. However, you have to consciously remember that this will work against you!
Just being sweet and simple is not enough as this doesn’t show your feelings for that guy. It’s all about maintaining a perfect balance. Maybe he is waiting for some sort of a signal from your side to proceed. Guys take time to understand, so it’s important that you show him you like him. Flirt a little, but keep it more witty and intelligent than romantic or sensuous. Healthy flirting should exist in every relationship. Flirt with him once in a while, and he’ll know you are thinking exactly what he’s thinking. Also, he will understand a different side of yours and would want to know more. Flirting helps in many ways and there is not one reason why you shouldn’t resort to it. Say something with double meaning once in a while and smile slyly. This will surely surprise him. However, don’t look desperate.
Show Him What You Are
If you want a guy to notice the good in you, you have to show it to him. Even then, he might take some time to realize. Get your attitude in front of him and flaunt it. The more he likes something about you, the more he likes you. Make sure he doesn’t see your weak points that often, like, your temper or your vulnerability. If you are a good student, make sure he knows about it. If you are a good cook, tell him about that too. This would also be a great excuse to invite him over for dinner. This way, he’ll know a lot of stuff about you that is good. This might make you look like a great prospect, if you don’t already seem like one. Once in a while, also let him know about the things you like in him.
Dress to Attract
This isn’t the most important tip, but it surely cannot be ignored. Guys understand physical attraction better than anything. They are immediately attracted to girls who look good. Attracting guys can take time, of course. If you are looking for a long-term, committed relationship, concentrate more on looking pretty and beautiful than looking hot. Pretty, well-dressed girls always come across as sweet. Your appearance and the way you dress is your first communication with a person, before you even speak. If you’re dressed in an erotic manner or are careless about hygiene, the guy will be repulsed immediately. He might reject you even before he speaks to you. When you are around him, always try to be the simple, pretty and (not very irritatingly) innocent girl.
Once you use these tips that tell you how to act around a guy you like, you will be able to tell the things that are improving the situation, and ones which aren’t. Always remember to respect the guy you like and make him feel comfortable. Guys take a long time to express their emotions and the only way they can do this sooner, is if they find a comfort zone. Try to build this comfort zone for him. Be his emotional backup and his companion in good times! That’s all you need to do. When you are with him, be physically and mentally present. Soon, he’ll value your company and eventually, he’ll start valuing you as a person. Best of Luck!
How to Tell Her She Hurt You (Without Turning It Into a Big Fight)
Sometimes in a relationship, you’re not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but avoiding the subject doesn’t do anyone any good. Awkward Conversations provides you with a template for what to say — and what not to say — and why, so you can have those difficult discussions without them turning into full-blown fights.
It’s not easy to tell someone — anyone — that they hurt you. It’s even less easy when it’s your girlfriend and you’re worried you might seem sensitive or weak! It’s perfectly normal for men to experience hurt feelings in the course of a long-term relationship, for any number of reasons. But the fact that we have no cultural scripts for it in movies or TV can make this an extra hard conversation to have.
Never fear: we have some tips on how to make this go as smoothly as possible. Everybody is capable of hurting and being hurt: what distinguishes grown-ups from children is that the former should be able to handle it with grace.
1. Don’t Minimize Your Hurt – Address It Up Front
“I wanted to be honest with you. I’m thinking about [X thing that you did]. I’m hurt about it. I feel sad.”
This kind of vulnerable admission can be scary as hell, but that’s why it’s important. Don’t sweep the issue under the table, or play it off like it is a minor problem. If you were hurt by something your partner did and you pretend you’re not, this will fester inside you and cause resentment (which can erupt in anger later).Would you want your girlfriend to act like things were fine when they weren’t? No, so don’t do it yourself.
Tell her simply and clearly how you’re feeling. It will make her much more empathetic and she’ll be less likely to go on the defensive! Instead of accusing her, use statements about your own emotions (“I’m feeling”) to defuse any tension in the conversation. That reframes the discussion (from her own actions to the consequences of those actions).
2. Explain Why It’s Bothering You
“When you compared me to your ex, it made me feel insecure — like I’m not good enough. I keep thinking about it because it makes me feel you’re not as happy with me as you were with him.”
Remember, she likely had no intention of hurting you — she was probably being careless and had no idea how her words would land! So how would she understand unless you break it down for her?
Do explain so that she knows where she went wrong and so that she doesn’t do it again. Be patient — yes, you might feel silly having to spell it out, but it’s always better to provide context and clarification. Your feelings are valid no matter what, but it helps if you can explain why they exist.
3. Don’t Generalize
Resist the temptation to say “You always do X” or “You’re a hurtful person.” Generalizing is a habit that’s hard to break, but in this case it is unhelpful. All you’re doing is antagonizing her! She has to let her guard down, and this won’t happen if you’re making wide-ranging statements about her bad behavior or general tendency to hurt her feelings. If she isn’t actually a repeat offender, refrain from characterizing it that way.
Keep it to the specific. “That night, when you gossiped about us to your friends — that bothered me.” That way, you have a peg for her to refer to: That’s something that she can’t refute. She has to address it fairly; this is a much better outcome than you two getting into a shouting match.
4. Don’t Get Angry If She’s Defensive
“What do you mean, you don’t think you did anything wrong? You messed up. You acted like a terrible person. How can you have zero accountability?”
Most people are very, very resistant to the idea that they are capable of causing hurt especially if they didn’t mean to. Say you confront her, and she doesn’t immediately apologize and fall at your feet begging for forgiveness. (It would be strange if she did!)
Remain calm. Don’t freak out. You’re in the right here, and you can help her see that little by little. If you get angry, lose your cool and turn the conversation into a big relationship fight, you’re essentially undoing all your good work. Your anger won’t make her any more sympathetic to your cause, remember!
“I get that you don’t think you did anything wrong. But I still got hurt, and your intent doesn’t change the impact of what happened. I hope you can see that.”
This is an excellent way to frame it. By pointing out to her that intent doesn’t diminish impact, you’re refuting her logically without getting red in the face about it, or shouting her down. If you put it in this kind of way, she will be much more open to seeing (and hopefully admitting!) her mistakes.
5. Finally, Give Her A Way Forward
“I don’t know where we go from here, but I am confident we can figure it out. I love you, and I told you this because I don’t ever want to be hurt like this again. Please think about it and let’s try to be more careful with each other’s feelings.”
It’s not enough to tell her she hurt you. What do you want? Where do you see this going? If you want her to make amends, great. Tell her so, but tell her gently, and end on a positive note.
In the face of bad news, people search for ways to cope: what can they do to mitigate the situation? What concrete action can they take? If you offer her some examples of concrete actions — “Let’s promise not to say careless/casually hurtful things to each other” — she’ll feel much more reassured and likely follow your lead. Your relationship will only be stronger for it. Good luck!
Yeah, I said it. The ‘C’ word that girls hate most: Crazy. And guess what ladies, we’ve all got a little bit of it. I don’t mean serial killer, collect people’s teeth crazy. Just that crazy we’re called when reason gives way to emotion and impulse. Those moments when we react without getting to the bottom of how we’re feeling, without really getting to the source of our frustration, and it all comes out as a disconcerted mess that makes us look more than a little foolish. Funny how that C word leads to that B word. Maybe I’m the only one?
I’ll level with you. I consider myself a confident and reasonable woman. I believe self reflection is important and a crucial part of growing into a mature individual, and that self awareness is a human responsibility. I try to judge situations fairly, and I’m generally pretty hard on myself. And you know what? I thought I was doing okay. I thought I was really making some progress away from those emotional impulses that dominated my teenage years. I was even so bold to figuratively pat myself on the back a few months ago thinking, “Man, Jenny, you’ve really come a long way. Good for you. That silly seventeen year old version of yourself? Long gone.” I think figurative pats on the back are just begging for trouble. I’m pretty sure the universe gave me a look that said, “Oh, that’s cute. Real cute.” Because avoiding situations that provoke the crazy isn’t the same thing as maturing beyond the crazy. If only I didn’t have to learn lessons the hard way. But I do, and I’ll explain.
I dated a guy very seriously in college. Thought he was the one and that we would grow old and happy together. Surprise, surprise, we went through a really ugly and painful break up. Womp, womp, we all have a similar story. I was crushed, and experienced the hardest 6 months of my life–during which I was an unrecognizable version of myself. And it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because after 6 months of hell, and another 6 months of recovering from that hell, I emerged a much stronger ‘me’ than the girl who first entered the relationship. I finally got a point where I could look back and see how unreasonable I had been, not only in the relationship, but during the break up. No, it wasn’t all my fault. He was unreasonable, too, but at least I was able to see my shortcomings. It’s been three years since that break up, and I vowed to move far beyond that silly girl with unbearable control issues and severe sensitivity. Ever look back and think, “Why in the world did I ever get upset about that?” Yeah, I did that a lot. But I really have made progress, dammit!
Progress be what it may, sometimes that crazy rears its head in an ugly way. Or maybe it rears its head, and we choose to react in an ugly way. What I’m saying is that my crazy recently reared its head in an ugly way, and I reacted in an uglier way. For whatever reason I was feeling a bit insecure (hey, I said I was confident, not perfect!), I was on my period, and my brilliant plan to counter those things was tequila. Talk about recipe for disaster. Sometimes I’m the dumbest smart person I know. There may be no way to ever rid yourself completely of insecurities that make you uncomfortable in a situation. And ‘perfect’ is boring anyway. Am I right? You can, however, learn to control your reactions to those insecurities. Here are my “learned the hard way” tips for avoiding that crazy girl in us all!
Sometimes, we forget that the children we teach are just that—children. Humor, silliness, playfulness, and showing off are hallmarks of childhood, and we should expect to experience some at every grade.
Just for the fun of it
Children often act silly or show off because these are ways to have fun. They literally need to giggle with friends over something silly that happened, make funny faces that crack everyone up, or tell jokes. Knock-knock jokes in younger grades grow into puns in the middle grades which, in turn, give rise to jokes with innuendo by sixth grade. Although what children find funny changes, most love humorous poems, songs, books, and movies throughout childhood.
For a sense of belonging
Joking and showing off also help children connect to those around them. Children who laugh together feel close to one another, even if only for a moment. For some students, a shared moment of laughter can lead to close friendships. Humor, whimsy, and entertaining others are powerful ways that children get to know each other and solidify their sense of belonging.
For a sense of significance
Showing off and telling jokes are also ways children gain a sense of importance. Some children may only feel special when they’re the center of attention. Being a little more dramatic, a little funnier, or a little more “wild and crazy” is a way for these students to stand out from the crowd.
Silliness, showing off, and child development
Although silliness and showing off appear in every grade, they tend to be more pronounced in first, third, and fifth grades, times when most children are experiencing intensive growth in social areas. In the grades where children tend to be consolidating social growth—second, fourth, and sixth grades—students might actually need their teachers to bring out their humor and help relieve some of the pressure they put on themselves.
Some Child Development Characteristics Related to Silliness and Showing Off
1st grade characteristics (ages 5–7):
- Love jokes, riddles, guessing games
- Active; need to move a great deal
- Concerned with social issues
- Very verbal; very social
Influence on silliness and showing off:
- Need an audience to try out new jokes and humor
- Want to impress certain classmates
- May need more frequent social outlets than currently provided
3rd grade characteristics (ages 7–9):
- Tire easily
- Need to move a lot
- Very social; concerned with social issues
- Very verbal; like to explain things
Influence on silliness and showing off:
- Need more chances to move
- Are more concerned with social issues than academics
- Need to process what they’re learning by talking
5th grade characteristics (ages 9–11):
- Very social
- Often expressive and talkative
Influence on silliness and showing off:
- May need to joke and use humor to explain thinking
- Want to maintain and develop friendships through joking or exaggerating personal strengths
Naturally, children in every grade sometimes make ill-timed jokes, lose themselves in silliness, and show off too much. It takes children time to develop their comedic timing and ability to share center stage. With your guidance, they can learn to channel their natural desire for fun into productive (and still enjoyable) learning.
15 Replies to “Why Do Children Act Silly or Show Off?”
How can you teach a child if they carry on being silly and not listening.
I find that students that want attention from their peers enjoy having a reward of putting a show on for the class. I allow students to earn a certain amount of tallies or tokens to earn the reward. For example, they have to color in 4 circles before they can put on a show. Of course I always follow my classroom management plan if they continue to interrupt learning.
Children don’t often listen they carry being silly.
Children are being bad they everyday do show off in school they think that they need to look pretty sometimes they wants to wear crop tops , skirts other dresses
This article doesn’t really give any solution, just outlines what I already know
I do understand that children need time to play and joke and make sense of the world around them, but when does the being silly go too far and should be reprimanded or corrected? I believe there are appropriate times for students to be silly, but I also believe teachers fail to recognize that students acting silly at inappropriate times could be warning signs for Social Emotional needs. Who teaches the students when is it time to be funny or silly, parents or teachers?
As a middle school teacher I definitely see how student’s social and emotional needs can be met by silliness. In my observations some students use it to receive attention, as you stated, and some also use it to deflect attention away from things they feel self-conscious about. I also wonder what strategies could I use that are empathetic to students development, but helps them begin to learn time and place for sillines?
This article was helpful in reminding myself of the function of silly behavior, especially in younger elementary students. What I have found in my experiences is that silliness can occur, but once it gets out of hand or the distraction is too great then there almost needs to be “expectations” for when silliness occurs. For example, it is an agreed upon understanding that when something silly happens that we can all engage in it, but once the moment is over the day moves on. I sometimes find myself needing my own reminder that silly behavior is age-appropriate for my kindergarten students. Do you have any suggestions for when things get out of hand?
Does your girlfriend act a little crazy sometimes? A little crazy can be fun and keep things exciting, that is, depending on your idea of crazy. If your girlfriend is somewhat goofy, slightly eccentric, or mildly OCD, these traits may be viewed as endearing and more often than not overlooked, especially when in love. But where do you draw the line? When her behavior begins to affect either of your lives (or your friends and families lives) in a negative manner it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate whether or not it is a good idea to continue the relationship.
It is vitally important to note that the term “crazy” is used colloquially for the purpose of this article to describe a partner who is acting in an unhealthy manner with regards to your relationship, who perhaps scares you or is a potential threat to your physical or mental well-being. There is no medical or psychoanalytical basis here to actually diagnose someone as mentally ill; simply heed the following 10 signs when deciding whether her actions are jeopardizing your relationship or creating an unhealthy environment for either of you.
1. Calls/Texts Constantly
When she calls or texts you, it should most acceptably be proportionate to your own efforts in contacting her. In any new relationship, it can be exciting and fun to be in frequent contact with one another since you are still getting to know each other. It becomes a problem when missing a call or text leads to multiple missed calls, ill-tempered voicemails, and multiple text messages, within an unreasonably short period of time, demanding to know where you are and why you are not answering, etc. When you do finally get a chance to return her messages, she may become outwardly hostile towards you or accuse you of ignoring or deceiving her. This may be due to an underlying personal insecurity — perhaps due to past experience with an untrustworthy ex or even instability– but it is no excuse for this type of obsessive, immature and erratic behavior, especially if you have done nothing to compromise your trustworthiness.
2. Extreme Mood Swings
You admire her for her zest for life and her radiating positivity, but suddenly she is a tearful mess or losing her patience and screaming over obviously trivial matters. Fluctuations in hormones, such as estrogen, do make some women more prone to mood-swings but if it becomes a problem where she is constantly shifting gears from one extreme to the next or you constantly feel as if you are walking on eggshells out of uncertainty due to her complete unpredictability, you can assure yourself that you are not a healthy relationship and it would be in your best interest to remove yourself from that environment.
3. Public Confrontation
Let’s be honest, nobody enjoys a scene. If you are out in public and she starts yelling at you, aggressively instigating an argument, crying out of control, or physically/verbally insulting you, this is completely unacceptable behavior (in private too, actually!). Mature, healthy relationships require patience and respect. If she embarrasses herself and you in this way, it is likely time you both parted ways.
4. Past Relationship Stories
When starting a new relationship, it’s practically inevitable that the topic of past relationships will come up. Be sure to listen carefully to what she has to say about hers. Were any or all of her exes abusive toward her (or vice versa), themselves (substance abuse), or all too eager to find another partner? These examples from her past could be strong indicators of her inability to function in a/as part of a healthy relationship. People can learn from past mistakes and grow, but it doesn’t always work out that way as many are downright resistant to change. Tread carefully.
Ok lets discuss how to go about flirting with a girl over text. You need to understand that for the most part you will always be flirting with her. Even if the topic itself is not of a flirty nature the underlying psychological principles of flirting will still be at work.
Text Flirting Mindset
Lead the Dance
As a man its essentially your role to lead the interaction and take control most of the time. You don’t want to come off as a control freak but you also don’t want to look indecisive or unsure of yourself. Be the leader.
Be Non Needy
There is a reason why 10% of the guys get 90% of the girls, and one of those crucial factors is neediness. Remember you need to give off the vibe that you are a non needy male. Before even messaging this girl I want you to completely release your attachments to the outcome. You need to constantly be giving off the vibe that you have many friends, girls, and people in your life, and if it doesn’t work out with her you wont be too bothered. Be careful to not confuse this with arrogance or cockiness, you are simply just a social guy who’s on the go, not a douche bag.
You need to go into the conversation as if you are already close friends with this girl. The conversation for the most part should always be light and playful, it should never be serious unless the topic is of a serious nature. Most of all avoid coming off like an interviewer, constantly asking questions. Think about how you act with your mates, you guys don’t sit there asking questions back and forth. You have a healthy balance between statements and questions.
Remember to take note of this it is crucial — let me say that again, this is crucial. Being reactive is one of the fastest ways to make her want to get rid of you. Don’t take stuff personal and allow your emotions to get the best of you.
Flirty Things To Text A Girl
These techniques are known to trigger some very powerful psychological attraction switches. String some of these together and these can be some of the best flirt lines you can on a woman.
The human brain is known for linking made up events similar to real events that take place between people. When you recall a relationship with another person you are simply recalling the memories that both of you shared. Whether they are made up or real, memories are still memories.
Therefore roleplaying can be a great way to build rapport, attraction, familiarity and to flirt.
Example: “hey wifey wanna come get a coffee with me?”
This creates a lot of comfort with a women and you can alter your role plays to make them exciting, adventurous, romantic or sexual. You can also make them brief or string them out over a long period of time.
I once got a older women’s number from a bar on the way out and wanted to see how far I could stretch a text roleplay with her before it got too heated for her. It ended up going for an hour and in the story I was boinking her in a mansion while the maid was getting off.
To build even more attraction you can make it appear as if the girl is chasing you through misdirection:
Girl: “im so excited for the dinner im making, i’ve got candles, wine and everything :)”
You: “that sounds awesome but you spoil me way to much, just dinner would have been fine :)”
Light and silly teasing every once in a while can make for great flirty text messages to send to a girl. Teasing her/lightly busting her balls shows her that you aren’t the typical beta male who puts girls up on pedestals; that instead you see her as an equal. Be sure to incorporate these.
Her: “how about we meet up at 3”
You: “no thats wayy to early, I dont wanna be stuck with you all day…lets do 3:03 :-)”
This simply technique can be extremely powerful, and is one of the best things you can take away from this article.
Picture a situation where a guy is putting in work, using fun interesting messages, and then the girl simply replies with one word responses. This would drive you nuts and if the conversation kept going like this your value would start to lower.
In every interaction the person who says or writes the most is the person putting in the most work. The person putting in the most work is the person most invested. Finally the person most invested is the person who is “chasing” the other person.
If the girl is responding with shorter replies than yours, be sure that you equally match or even slightly lower your response lengths in comparison to hers. Whoever, appears to be investing more into the conversation is the one who is chasing.
Don’t be a chaser, this will turn the girl off. But also be sure too use common sense, if shes putting in a lot of work don’t be an arse hole and reply with “ya’s” and “k”, or she will just think you’re a dick.
Natasha: “there’s so many good movies I wanna watch that we should totally see together next time we meet up :)”
Natasha: “okay we’ll totally do that next time I’m in town, we need to get some wine too, do you have a favorite?
Chris: “As long as it’s not white wine, I’m good”
You can see how if this conversation continued like this, anyone who was reading this would clearly interpret Natasha is the one chasing.
Mirror Her Style
In conjunction with mirroring her text lengths you should also be mirroring her writing style. If she uses a lot of emoticons and smiley faces, use a lot of them as well. If she typically writes haha rather than lol at the end of a sentence structure your replies as similar.
Mirroring her style in this way will build a huge amount of rapport at an unconscious level. She won’t know why but she will start too feel more and more connected with you. She will begin to enjoy your texts and the sense of familiarity will grow. This can be build huge levels of comfort and attraction over time. Afterwards you can then check out how to turn a girl on over text .
Just remember what I’ve said the next time you are thinking of how to flirt with a girl over text. String a couple, or all of these together during your next conversation and let the results speak for themselves.
How To Tame And Dominate Your Wife Or Girlfriend. – Romance – Nairaland
“It is the law of nature that woman should be held under the dominance of man”
"If there is one thing that turns women off more than anything else, it’s a man with a lack of dominance. And an attractive woman can smell a lack of dominance like a shark smells blood.
No one is attracted to someone who conveys a sense of being powerless. When it comes to being a man, however, power is not only important, it’s everything. . A woman is never attracted to a man who seems to be ‘equal’ with her. In some major way, he has to be more than her. . To feel feminine, she must be with a man who is masculine.
When a woman is with a guy who is not dominant, she feels like he is just another girl.”
I am writing this article primarily with the everyday Nigerian man in mind. Just like other men around the world, we want our wives and girlfriends to respect us, honour us and defer to our Leadership. However, in may relationships, this has failed to be the case. We have men who have failed in their rightful duty to ‘wear the pants‘ (Note: we wear pants, they wear panties! ).
Ask most woman in Nigeria today, and they will openly tell that they want men who can ‘control’ or ‘handle’ them. And by control, they don’t mean they want Boko Haram terrorists who will hit, trample and intimidate them at the slightest provocation. Only WEAK MEN hit or even shout at women. There are far more, effective, long-lasting ways of extracting, constant, consistent compliance from your wife or girlfriend. And I am going to expose all of that to you in the series of articles I am going to be writing on this forum.
The average unthinking Nigerian male believes that it only takes money (and maybe looks) to attract and keep women. Really? What they also fail to realize is that:
•There’s always a richer guy.
•There’s always some poorer guy, somewhere, willing to spend more than you.
•There’s always someone with a bigger car, a bigger house, a bigger title, a bigger office etc.
The Secret Ingredient.
What you really want are personal attributes that will guarantee your woman sticks with you come rain, come shine. Personal qualities that are not dependent on your money or your status – which you may not always have. Personal traits that will give you peace of mind that your woman will come back to you, even if she makes $10 million tomorrow and travels abroad for a 1 year course.
Most of the problems we experience in our relationships as men stem from the simple fact that we’ve not been firm enough, we’ve not been putting our foot down enough, not been saying NO enough and then OVER-REACTING or acting inappropriately in certain situations where we should actually tease our wives or girlfriends and toy with them when they throw silly tantrums.
“Half of your mastery of Power comes from the things you don’t do, what you do not allow yourself to be dragged into”
————-Robert Greene, (The 48 Laws of Power)
The biggest factor in how a woman reacts to and responds to you in the long-term is heavily based on your BEHAVIOUR. The way you ACT. In this article, we are going to unravel everything together, step-by-step, action-by-action, inaction-by-inaction. We are going to explore EVERYTHING in pin-point, specific detail.
This is not about manipulation or anything close, it’s about becoming the Very Dominant ALPHA male that you were designed to be through your actions…and inactions. The kind of man that ALL women secretly desire and always submit to. Don’t confuse this with becoming a bully. Being Dominant and DOMINEERING are two entirely different things.
Your Woman Cannot ‘Decide’ To Respect You…
Respect works a lot like attraction, you don’t see a HOT women and ‘decide’ if she’s hot. The moment you set your eyes on her you KNOW she’s HOT. Same with respect.
Certain actions, behaviour and attributes command our respect, and we just act accordingly towards that person. Your wife or girlfriend cannot ‘decide’ to respect and be under your ‘control’. You MUST earn this by the way you ACT.
The level of respect you get from your woman and the amount of ‘control’ you exercise over her is the direct result of your actions since you met, AND how you’ve trained her.
Alpha Males & Beta Males…
As far as a woman is concerned, there are only two different types of men. Alpha males & Beta Males.
The alpha male is the guy who is confident, firm in decision making, NON-REACTIVE, asserts himself more, takes more risks, makes plans, doesn’t whine, is non-needy & approval seeking, non-clingy, protects and is the leader in his relationship.
The Beta male is the exact opposite of the Alpha, he whines, is always REACTING (nothing screams Beta as much as reacting to your woman – I’ll get to this below in ‘Shit Tests‘), follows, not firm in his decisions, needy (calling your wife or girlfriend 2,000 times in a day is very bad) and generally does most things the Alpha wouldn’t do.
To a woman, dating a beta male is like being forced to marry a very fat ugly old woman with bad skin and bald hair.