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How to act sexy

How to act sexy

At WH, we’re here to help you make your sex life better. And, in the time of sexual wellness hitting the mainstream (see: Boots’ freshly comprehensive range of sex toys and the boom of ‘erotic audio’, like the Dipsea app which has been downloaded 300,000 times since launching in 2018) you might be keen to speak more candidly about ways to enhance your time under the covers.

How can you learn some new sex tips for women?

Enter: our handy sex tips for women guide. FYI, these are targeted at women who have sex with men or people who have penises, but many of the points can be applied to folk of any gender. To compile them, WH spoke to sexology researcher Dr Dany Cordeau to find out the stops you need to know about, and how you can get them going.

You’ll probably already know some of these sex tips for women, but we guarantee you’ll learn a thing or two about some unexpected turn-ons.

When you’re done here, wise up on the biggest female erogenous zones for better orgasms (or, casually leave this web page open around your partner so they swot up, too). And, if you’re going it alone, this five day plan will take your masturbation game to the next level.

13 sex tips for women: how to become better in bed

1. Learn to kiss, properly

Full-on kissing boosts levels of dopamine in the brain, a desire-spiking neurotransmitter in both men and women, according to a study in The American Journal of Medicine.

To get your other half going, try this piece of sex advice: trace their lips slowly with your tongue, or softly bite the edge of their lower lip with your teeth, advises sexologist Carol Queen.

But, before you think about putting this tip to the test during a steamy summer pool sesh, you might want read on and think twice before having sex in water.

2. Play with their ears

In a survey, ears ranked just behind the scrotum as a body part that, when touched, can help men reach their peak. Who knew it was such a turn on?

Add this to your list of sex techniques: try delicately nibbling or licking their ears as they’re getting closer to orgasm, while whispering something like: ‘Do you like it when I touch you?’

3. Don’t be scared of the scrotum

No biting or pinching, please: this area is extra vulnerable to sharp impact.

So what is up its street and worth ranking in the nine sex tips for women? Gentle sucking, squeezing or cupping, which may help some men reach climax more easily during sex, says sex coach Charlie Glickman.

When it comes to foreplay, use this technique from Harwick: ‘Start with your hand around both balls, then bring your fingertips together over them – like you’re picking up a napkin off the floor.’

4. Get involved in the neck

Their neck is as tingle-triggering as your own, and a study published in the journal Ergonomics found that the nape loves low-frequency vibrations.

Take advantage by kissing the back of their neck with your mouth slightly open, and hum. ‘The combination of heat and vibrations will help prompt some serious sensations,’ sex expert Emily Morse says.

Or dip into your toy drawer for a fingertip vibe and massage their hairline.

Things not going quite to plan? Make sure you’re not making one of he six biggest mistakes couples make in the bedroom before carrying on.

5. Don’t be shy with the shaft

Men rated the shaft tops for orgasmic sensitivity when compared with the rest of their nether regions, says a survey published in the journal BJU International.

Because the internal erectile tissues lie deep beneath the skin’s surface, when it comes to how to get your grip on, the best sex tips for women will tell you that many guys like the shaft handled pretty firmly. Form a fist around it, moving up and down and adding pressure as you go.

How to act sexy

How to act sexy

How to act sexy

How to act sexy

6. Pay their nipples some attention

They’d like a little TLC, FYI. Men who were surveyed for a study in the journal Cortex admitted that the nips are one of their top hot spots.

Queen suggests sucking on one while stroking your their penis with your hand. ‘Adding the two erogenous zones together can be very pleasurable,’ she says.

7. Get involved with the head

The head of the penis, or the glans, has significantly more nerves than the shaft, so don’t skimp on the attention. (The tip is basically the closest thing a person with a penis has to a clitoris, though it’s not nearly as sensitive, says Cordeau. We win in that department.)

After coating your fingers in lube, ‘loop them into an O shape and slide them over the glans’, Queen advises. Then use short, slow pumps that tighten around the tip.

During oral, run your tongue all over the glans and use some soft suction.

8. Hit a bum note

Glickman calls the prostate gland (located a finger’s length inside the bum) the ‘male G-spot’ in his book The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure.

To hit this orgasm-inducing region, you’ll need to insert a (well-lubricated) digit into your man’s behind, directed toward the front of his body, says Queen.

If neither you nor him is up for that, you can also stimulate the prostate by touching the perineum.

9. Have a perineum party

Located behind the scrotum and before his rear entry, this spot contains a gent’s ejaculatory muscles – which, when massaged, can make his blast-off feel even more intense, says Glickman.

Try Morse’s oral-sex advice: ‘Use your thumb to gently rub the perineum in a circular motion, keeping in rhythm with what your mouth is doing. Right before he is about to finish, press the spot firmly to give him an orgasm to top all orgasms.’

Then ask for anything you want in return, obvs.

10. Try dirty talk

If you fancy trying something new, how about giving dirty talk a whirl? ‘Erotica and pornography are great sources of inspiration for examples of dirty talking, and to figure out what kind of dirty talking arouses you,’ says Silva Neves, an Accredited Psychosexual and Relationship Psychotherapist.

And might we also suggest a second viewing of Bridgeton for some simple – yet, sexy – one-liners? Although, you might not need inspo from external sources. ‘The brain is the main sexual organ, so looking at your own sexual fantasies non-judgementally might be another place where you’ll find a lot of inspiration,’ Neeves adds.

11. Give them a tantric massage

Incorporating a sensual tantric massage into your repertoire can be super sexy. It’s a little complex to go into, here, but consult the full WH guide, here.

Spoiler alert: It’s basically just another word for anal sex with a strap-on.

We're more open about our sexual habits than ever (thanks, reddit and TikTok), but some practices have still managed to avoid the mainstream spotlight—including pegging. For the uninitiated, it might sound like a technique for drying your laundry, but it's actually more about what you do between the sheets than what you do with them.

The term pegging itself is attributed to Dan Savage's Savage Love sex advice column when it was the winning entry in a contest to find a term for strap-on sex between women and men who identify as straight. Essentially, it was created to distance the act from anal sex, which many straight, cisgender men stigmatize and associate with being gay. "This is just straight up (pun intended) homophobia," Engle says.

"Pegging is anally penetrating someone with a strap-on, which is a dildo secured in place by a harness," says Gigi Engle, SKYN sex and intimacy expert, certified sex coach, sexologist, and author. However, while the term was coined to refer to a sex act that involves a woman penetrating a man, that's not always the setup; it's basically just a fancy word for anal sex. "It's a sex act available to one and all, regardless of gender or body parts," Engle tells Health

What’s the appeal of pegging?

At its heart, pegging is about exploration. "Even if you're wearing [the] strap-on, this isn't about you; it's about the 'we,'" Engle explains. "So you should want to explore it as someone interested in being the giver, but also as someone who is excited to have their partner be the receiver."

The role reversal of pegging for straight-identified cisgender partners can be highly erotic, Toronto-based sexologist Jessica O'Reilley, PhD, tells Health. "If you're a person with a vagina who has always been penetrated by a penis, you get the opportunity to learn what it feels like to thrust and experience new sensations," she says. "If you have a penis and you're used to doing the penetration, pegging gives you a chance to learn about your body's response to being penetrated."

Of course, there's also pleasure for the receiver from anal stimulation. "The butt is an obvious erogenous zone and many people enjoy orgasms from anal penetration," says O'Reilley. "If you have a prostate, you may find that stimulation through the butt leads to more full bodied sensations and full body and/or multiple orgasms."

If that sounds good to you, check out these pegging tips from the pros.

The right accessories are crucial

Before anything goes near anybody's butt, get yourself some reliable water-based or silicone-based lubricant. Silicone lube is more slippery, so it tends to last longer. However, Engle warns that if you use silicone lube with silicone toys, they can break down and become more porous, which allows bacteria to stick around and can become dangerous. For silicone toys, you'll want to use a water-based lube (like this one from Astroglide), which also works well with condoms. Oil-based lubes can also work well with silicone toys, but keep in mind that they break down latex condoms. When using toys that are compatible with a silicone-based formula, Engle recommends SKYN's All Night Long lube. 

Speaking of toys, O'Reilley says most people use a phallic-shaped dildo with a harness, but suggests starting with a smaller dildo that's smooth and doesn't have a bulbous head. She recommends the Aslan Simple Nylon Harness from Good For Her and the Silk Small range of dildos from Tantus. 

Pegging newbies could also opt for an anal training kit, says Engle. "These dildos gradually increase in size and help you to take larger objects in a safe, comfortable way," she explains. She suggests checking out the b-Vibe "pegging set," which comes with a strap-on, harness, and dildo.

If you buy a separate strap-on, Engle recommends going for the Spareparts Hardwear Unisex Joque Strap-On Harness, because you can toss it right into the washing machine post-play (just be sure to remove the dildo beforehand). To get used to your pegging kit, O'Reilley suggests wearing it around your house or in the shower.

Don't forget to look after your kit, using the most appropriate cleaning materials for whatever you're working with. Some toys, like those made with silicone and glass, can be cleaned with soap and water, according to O'Reilley. Porous toys (like those made with jelly, plastic, rubber, and PVC) are harder to deep clean due to their tiny pores. Even if you clean them with an anti-bacterial sex toy cleaner, bacteria can still get trapped in the pores, so O'Reilley suggests using a condom with them. 

High-grade silicone toys can be cleaned with sex toy cleaner or simply washed with warm water and soap. Allow them to air dry to avoid lint from a towel sticking to them while wet. 

Now you’re kitted out, start slowly

The slower the better with anal play. "The anus is a set of muscles—it doesn't naturally stretch or lubricate the way a vagina does," Engle explains. She recommends beginning anal play with fingers and smaller anal toys before working up to pegging. You might even want to do this when you're alone to get an idea of how it might feel before trying it out with a partner.

"The next time you're in the shower and feeling relaxed, gently slide a lubed finger inside to get to know your sphincter muscles, which are ring-like oval structures that help to hold the canal in shape," O'Reilley suggests. Note: you don't have to reach great depths to find these muscles—you'll feel the external sphincter, which you can contract and release at will (the way you might flex and relax your biceps) less than an inch beyond the opening.

"The internal sphincter is just a little deeper, but because this smooth muscle ring is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which manages automatic bodily functions like heartbeat and perspiration, it remains in a state of contraction," O'Reilley explains. "You can't exercise complete control over your internal sphincter, but just as you can slow your heart rate through breathing and mindfulness, so too can you help relax this sensitive muscle through relaxation and deep breaths."

A good exercise for newbies is to learn to enjoy anal play (licking, sucking, massaging, kissing, etc.) with the promise of no penetration at first to build trust and become familiar with new sensations, O'Reilley adds. And if you decide that's where anal begins and ends for you, that's absolutely fine. There's no rule book!

If you want better sex, it’s time to learn some new bedroom tricks.

How to act sexy

Hey, it’s okay to ask. We should all be doing whatever it takes to get more pleasure for ourselves and our partner (or partners) during sex. No one has the time these days to waste, so we’ll make it easy for you. Want to know how to last longer in bed? We’ve got easy advice on how to tack on minutes. Looking to add some new moves to your routine? Try reverse cowgirl, rimming, or even tantric sex on for size. In this collection of the best sex positions and advice, you’ll find tips and tricks, ideas, and expert intel on pulling off better sex moves. Take notes and study hard; your new and improved sex life begins now.

How to act sexy

1. Reverse Cowgirl Position

It’s very stimulating for her. Here’s how to do it.

How to act sexy

2. Rimming

There’s quite a concentration of nerves back there, so give anilingus a shot.

3. Sexting

How to correctly use the horniest emoji: flag up mailbox.

4. Dick Pics

There are two types of dick pics every guy should be able to take.

How to act sexy

5. Open Relationships

A beginner’s guide to being non-monogamous without being a jerk.

6. Sex Apps

Everything to know about sex and dating apps before jumping in bed with a stranger.

7. Kissing

There are four ways to do it well. Because you can’t skip this step.

8. DIY Sex Toys

Your house is full of things just waiting to become sex toys.

9. Sex Games

These are a whole lot sexier than “Truth or Dare.”

10. Condom Sizes

A brief guide to choosing the right one. Grab a toilet paper roll.

11. Dirty Talk

It’s not just what you say, it’s how (and when) you say it.

12. Lasting Longer

A four-step guide to maintaining control during sex.

13. Breathing for Better Sex

Get over nerves and fear so you can both enjoy the experience even more.

14. A Workout Plan for Better Sex

If you feel strong and flexible, it will show in the bedroom.

15. Sex Toys for Men

Enhance your pleasure with these devices, for yourself, or for you and your partner.

16. What Women Want

Remember these eleven things that she expects from you.

17. Average Sex Time

It’s not as long as you’d think, according to science.

18. Tantric Sex

You could have four or five orgasms. She could have twelve.

19. Tea Bagging

Tea bagging is a sexual kink, and a darn good one at that.

20. Shower Sex

How to have it without slipping and fumbling all over the place.

21. Oral Sex

Tips for giving and receiving it correctly.

22. Foreplay

Keep things interesting by spicing up your pre-sex practices.

23. G-Spot Stimulation

How to find her G-spot, and her cul-de-sac.

24. Couples Porn

You and your partner should be watching porn together. It doesn’t have to be weird.

25. Best and Worst Kinds of Sex

From breakup sex to mile high sex, here’s the rundown on all the ways to do it.

26. Healthy Sex

In case you needed more convincing, there are nine reasons having sex is good for you.

As you mature, you may start thinking about having sex for the first time. In addition to this, you may be wondering how it feels, how to handle any anxiety that may accompany it, and how to be safe.

Having sex for the first time: what you should know

There are probably lots of things going through your mind if you are thinking about having sex for the first time. You may be wondering if your body will change or whether it will hurt. Read on to find answers to some of the questions you may have about first-time sex.

What happens to your body when you have sex?

Your body will not display any telltale signs after you have sex for the first time. The only way anyone will know you’ve had sex is if you or somebody else tells them.

Track my period

How to act sexy

How to act sexy

Follow my baby’s growth

How to act sexy

While having sex, you might breathe heavily and sweat, and your skin could become flushed. These changes are caused by the physical nature of sex. During sex, your vulva may also become swollen due to increased blood flow. After sex, your body will go back to normal, just like it would after exercise.

Most women are born with a hymen, which is a membrane in the vagina that can stretch or tear during exercise, first-time sex, or other activities. During your first time having sex, your hymen might stretch, and you may experience some bleeding if it ruptures. However, bleeding doesn’t always occur during first-time sex. Many people have already inadvertently broken their hymen before they ever have sex. If you’re worried about bleeding, lying down on a dark-colored towel or cloth can prevent stains.

Will it hurt?

Much of the anxiety surrounding having sex for the first time is centered on whether it will hurt. If you relax, feel comfortable, and pay attention to your body, there probably won’t be any pain. What you might feel is a bit of discomfort because this experience is new to you.

If you do feel pain, it is more than likely caused by friction. Friction during penetrative sex occurs when there isn’t enough vaginal lubrication to ease the entry of something entering your vagina. Engaging in plenty of foreplay can stimulate the vagina to become more lubricated.

Using lubricant can make intercourse more comfortable and enjoyable.

Will I have an orgasm?

When you and your partner are figuring out how to have sex for the first time, you might believe that it will be as magical as it is often depicted in the movies. However, it’s possible that your first time won’t be nearly as smooth or well choreographed.

For many people, their first time is an awkward and somewhat uncomfortable affair. On top of that, both of you might be nervous. Under circumstances like these, it can be difficult to achieve an orgasm. This is perfectly normal. In fact, sex without orgasm can be quite enjoyable and might be a good way for you and your partner to connect further.

Can I get pregnant having sex for the first time?

There’s a myth in some societies that you can’t get pregnant when you have sex for the first time. This is false. If you have already started getting your period, you can get pregnant if you have sex.

If you don’t want to become pregnant, you should use a birth control method whenever you engage in sexual intercourse.

First-time sex: ways to reduce anxiety

If you’re having sex for the first time, you may feel anxious. This is common and completely normal. There are lots of things you can do to deal with this anxiety.

Right partner

Some studies show that you are more likely to have both psychological and physical satisfaction when you have sex with someone you trust and with whom you have a steady relationship. Being with someone you trust can help you feel safer and more in control of the situation.

Cozy place

If you want to have sex but feel anxious about it, plan to do it in a place you find comfortable. An unfamiliar or uncomfortable location could make it hard to focus on what’s going on and enjoy what’s happening.

Foreplay

Anxiety about the first time you have sex is pretty common. However, foreplay may help reduce your anxious feelings. Foreplay involves a lot of kissing and touching, which can help you feel more comfortable with your own body as well as your partner’s.

Take it slow

A lot of anxiety can come from trying to rush sex to get to the next step. You might find yourself thinking about what you should be doing and what you should do next. If so, take a moment to center yourself and focus on the present, letting things happen naturally.

Some people are in a hurry to achieve orgasm. Taking your time and enjoying the journey can make sex a more relaxed and enjoyable experience.

Try again later

It’s very common to have a less-than-perfect first time. However, that doesn’t mean that sex will always be bad. Any number of things can contribute to an experience that doesn’t quite live up to your expectations.

You can always try again later when you are feeling more comfortable. However, you’re under no obligation to commit to a next time, either. The best time to have sex is when you’re sure you want it, not just when your partner wants you to.

First-time sex: safety first!

If you’re considering having sex for the first time, you should be aware of ways to protect yourself from unsafe sex. Having unprotected sex can transmit infections. It can also cause unwanted pregnancy.

Avoiding STIs

The risk of contracting infections is much higher if you don’t use protection when you have sex. Some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) include:

  • Chlamydia
  • HIV/AIDS
  • Hepatitis B and C
  • Genital herpes
  • Syphilis
  • Gonorrhea

While some of these diseases can be treated with antibiotic medication, some are incurable and can have serious health implications. HIV has no cure, but there are medications that can suppress the virus almost completely. Left untreated, HIV can develop into AIDS, which has no cure. Using condoms when you engage in sexual intercourse will greatly reduce the risk of contracting an STI.

Contraception

Unless you’re planning to have a baby, you should use contraceptive methods to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy.

You can opt for barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms, or caps. These stop sperm from reaching the egg. Other methods, like the birth control pill, alter your hormones to ensure that an egg is not released. Only condoms protect against both pregnancy and STIs, but it’s important to remember that no protection method is 100 percent effective.

If you’re puzzled by how to have sex for the first time, that’s a totally normal way to feel. It’s common to be anxious, but being with the right partner in a cozy place and taking things slowly can help. Be sure to practice safe sex to avoid unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.

Need to up your sexting game? We teamed up with the sex ed website O.School for tips to help you nail it.

Whether you’re single and trying to mingle, dating multiple people, or in a committed relationship, knowing how to sext can be a huge game-changer. It’s a great way to build anticipation in the lead-up to a hookup, not to mention keep the spark alive if you’ve been with the same partner for a long time. During COVID, sexting is especially beneficial, since you’re not able to (or really shouldn’t) meet up with new folks for casual sexual encounters.

Sexting is a delicate balancing act—one that requires the sexter to navigate the grey area between sexy and weird. Should I call my penis a “dick,” or is that too porn-y? Is role play on the table, or nah? What if I’m being catfished? These questions are understandable: the last thing you want to get in response to an earnest attempt at a dirty text is a “LOL, WTF?”

That said, if you adhere to proper sexting etiquette, sexting can pay off big time. According to a study published in the journal Computers In Intimate Behavior, half of those with committed partners reported that sexting had a positive outcome on their “sexual and emotional relationships.”

How to send a great sext

First and foremost, sexting should always be a two-way street because unsolicited dick pics are never sexy—and could be considered sexual harassment. (In fact, Texas has actually banned sending unsolicited dick pics; if you’re in Houston and you send a pic of your junk to someone who hasn’t asked for it and doesn’t want to see it, you can be hit with a $500 fine, according to Insider.)

So before you get your wang ready for its closeup, ask your partner if they’re comfortable with it. Keep the conversation light by asking, “Do you want to exchange photos?” or, “Have you ever sexted? Is that something you’re down to try?” If they are, be mindful of what they are and aren’t cool with. No pics, all texts? Great. Call yourself Sext-speare and get to writing.

Once you and your partner have decided it’s game on, you might be at a loss for what exactly to say to come across as cool and sexy, as opposed to creepy and awkward. Call it writer’s (cock) block. Just remember things your partner likes to do in bed. What are their turn-ons? What’s something they did in bed that turns you on just thinking about it?

If you don’t know what they want or where to start, ask: communication is key. You can keep the tone silly and playful and fun. Humor can help diminish awkwardness, especially at first.

Alright, with said, let’s get down to how to sext.

How to act sexy

Start slowly.

Let’s say you and your partner decide you want to start sexting. You can’t go balls to the wall and send them a close-up of your hard-on. Not only is that far too aggressive, but you also need room to build. Sending a dick pic first is like starting a performance with the big finale—when you start with the finish, there’s nowhere else to go.

Kick things off by sexting cutesy phrases like “Couldn’t stop thinking about you last night ;)” or “I can’t wait until we get naked together again. ” This will also give your partner a heads up so that they can think to themselves: Okay, we’re actually doing this right now. Let me change gears.

Sext about what you want to do.

“Explaining exactly what you want to do to your partner, whether it’s inspired by erotica, porn, or a real-life past sexual experience, is a simplified way to ease into dirty talk without feeling awkward,” says Gigi Engle, ACS, Promescent brand advisor and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.

So, after a few exchanges, you can say what you plan on doing with your partner when you finally get to meet up IRL. Do you want to eat them out until sunrise? Let them know. Do you want to bring out some sex toys and try something new? Sext it. This harkens back to classic dirty talk tips: First, say what you did; then, say what you’re doing; and finally, what you want to do. But really draw it out, create a full scene.

Write a sexy story.

If you really want to up your sexting game, you can write an entire sexy story and email it to your partner, Engle says. When they read that bad boy on their lunch break at work, they’ll (hopefully) get all hot and bothered and excited for the next time you’re together IRL. “Sometimes having a fuller narrative can keep the sexting flow going,” Engle says. Writing erotica is really helpful if you sense a lull in your sexting or feel like you’ve already said and sent everything you can. “Plus, you can try out different fantasies while pretending to be someone else; that can add a whole layer of eroticism.”

Send pics of sex toys and props.

If you have some sex toys you’d like to use with your partner, send a photo of them displayed on your bed. You can write something like, “I can’t wait to use this with you.”

Maybe you’ve been talking about some hot spanking you’d like to do together. Send them a pic of your leather crop with a message like, “For when you’ve been naughty.” If you bought some sexy underwear or a jockstrap, take a picture of just the underwear. (From there, it’ll be a smooth transition to you sending pics with you wearing it.)

Let’s talk a little more about sex toys:

Then, start sending non-naked pics.

If you and your partner have sexted back and forth for a while, and your partner has responded positively to each message, then it’s a good time to up the ante by sending some naughty pics. (Sometimes, there’s nowhere left to go with words alone!) But before you go ahead and send a pic, ask for permission. I’d text something like, “Can I show you something naughty?” Then, if I got the go-ahead, I’d send the pic.

Don’t start with a graphic, full-frontal dick pic. Perhaps take a photo in the mirror while you’re only wearing your underwear—or whatever you’re comfortable with! The point is to get your partner excited with anticipation, and you can do that at any stage of undress.

Finally—if you want to—send nudes.

Just like the previous step, you have to ask first. Get creative in the way you ask, otherwise, it’s not sexy. “Wanna see my dick?” isn’t cute. But do you know what is? “These undies are getting awfully tight. I think I may have to talk them off. Wanna see?”

You may have noticed I said “nudes” and not “dick pics.” Typically, a full-body nude is far more appealing than a zoomed-in, pic of your disembodied, veiny stump. (If you know your partner is into isolated dick pics, then go ahead and send them a pic of your junk.)

When done correctly, sexting isn’t just “hot” in and of itself—it builds anticipation. When you two finally get to meet in person, you’ll be all over one another—and the sex will be that much better.

How to act sexy

OK guys, stop all your whining and complaining for a second and listen up: If you want more sex from your wives, you have to grow up and recognize that people change, relationships change, and your sex life doesn’t stay the same.

As a sexologist, relationship expert, and contributor to Good in Bed, the one question I’m constantly asked is: “How can I get my wife to have more sex with me?” Well, I also happen to be a wife and mother of two little ones, so I’m going to give it to you straight. Here’s my advice for not screwing it up and actually getting some tonight:

1. Snuggle, Don’t Grope. You’re in the mood, so you reach out and grab us—our breasts, butt, or genitals, that is. Guys, believe me when I tell you that this is the biggest sin you can commit when trying to seduce a woman. It will not send us into an orgasmic swoon. (And, hey, if it does, you don’t need my advice, right?). Neither will groping us in the kitchen while we’re unloading the dishwasher.

These inept moves don’t get us all hot and bothered — they just upset us. Try hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to our partners—in ways that don’t always involve sex.

As guys, you see something sexy and suddenly you’re in the mood for sex, ready to go. You pick up the mail, there’s a Victoria Secret catalog in the box, and next thing we know you’re sniffing in our direction like a dog expecting a treat. But women don’t work like that. We may see something that’s sexy, and that something may even be you, but we don’t suddenly want to have sex. That’s where men and women differ: You have to actually put us in the mood. You have to make us feel sexy and make us want to be sexual.

Here’s a tip: Did you know that studies show that if you hug for partner for 30 seconds it raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps put us in the mood. So start with a hug.

2. Don’t Treat Us Like Porn Stars. Just because you can pay to watch a chick with fake boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting guy doesn’t mean you can treat us like some 30-second money shot. Women crave seduction. We crave pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production. I’m not saying you won’t get those little surprise treats now and then—but you’ve got to work for them. Luckily, the brain is our biggest sex organ, and most women have fantasy lives that leave your porn sites in the dust. You know one of the reasons why women aren’t more into porn? Because almost all of it is created by men and for men, who don’t have a clue about what really turns a woman on. Wanna know what does turn us on? Ask us, engage us. Which brings me to…

2. Do Unto Others. Want hot sex? You have to provide us with the kind of sex we want to have. Simply put, you’ve got to give as good as you get. Do I need to spell it out for you? If you want us to use our mouths, you have to use yours, too! And if you do it first? All the better. Most women orgasm best from clitoral stimulation.

4. Give Us Space. It seems counterintuitive, but letting your partner have some time to herself can help her recharge. Offer to watch the kids for a few hours so she can meet a friend for coffee, take a book to the beach, or relax in a bubble bath. This “time off” lets her wind down so that later she’ll be ready to heat up. And by the way, watching your kids isn’t “babysitting”. They’re your children—play with them like you mean it. Be a dad, not a bachelor. Remember, a lot of us find nothing sexier than a dad who’s into his kids.

5. Talk—and Listen. I know, I know: Many of you would probably rather clean that toilet than be forced to “communicate.” But I’m not asking for an hours-long heart-to-heart here. Spending 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated. Avoid stressful topics like your kids, work, and home and stick to larger issues like current events and the world around you. Respond with full sentences, not grunts. If you can remember and repeat something she said 12 hours later, she’ll be impressed—and you’ll be one step closer to sex.

Want more tips? I’ll be answering your questions all week at Good in Bed.

How to act sexy

When you’re in bed with your lover, the last thing you want to do is turn them off. Not everyone is clear on his mind on how to have sex which feels great. That said, here are a few common blunders that you should not commit.

1. Not kissing
Believe it or not, many people (and this includes women) don’t kiss their partner when they’re having sex. Why? Perhaps because the positioning doesn’t allow for it or they are too eager to climax and feel that it might break the rhythm. Nevertheless, it is highly recommended that you make an effort to kiss your partner during the act – it will only add to the experience.

2. Biting before your partner’s ready While many people enjoy an aggressive partner, biting any part of their body before they are aroused may lead to pain and discomfort (and might even lessen the chances of any further action ) or simply scare them off. So make sure your partner is fully excited before you bite their ear, shoulders, neck or any other part of their body.

3. Ignoring everything but sexualised parts
Genitals are great, no doubt, but you should definitely pay attention to other parts of your lover’s body and focus for some time on their entire body – knees, wrists, back and stomach are highly erogenous zones for men as well as women. Gently caressing these areas will help excite your partner further; in turn, increasing the chances of them pleasuring you back.

4. Putting your weight on your partner
Even if you’re a girl! It’s okay to lose yourself in the moment every once in a while and go crazy on your lover. But when you’re lying on top of them, you have to be careful not to drop your weight on them. Chocking them or hindering their ability to breathe will anyway kill the moment and any chances of some good action.

5. Climaxing too soon/ too late
This one is especially for men. You need to have good control on your muscles to ensure that you can ejaculate at an appropriate time. Too soon and you may leave your partner unsatisfied; too late and it might leave your partner feeling as if they’re pumping iron at the gym. To avoid this, spend a lot more time on foreplay (this will help men as well as women). If you take too long and can only ejaculate via manual stimulation, do your best to get your partner to orgasm and then they can return you the favour.

6. Not warning your partner before you climax
If you’re going to let go – and this applies even to women – whether during oral sex or intercourse, you need to tell your partner beforehand. Something as simple as “I’m going to let go,” will suffice. Your partner deserves to know.

7. Treating sex like porn
Although some couples enjoy having raunchy sex, you’d be wise to talk to your partner before you engage in such behaviour. If you begin being nasty with your lover without knowing if they like it first, chances are the scenario won’t end on a happy note.

8. Staying quiet
Do you like to hear it when your partner is having a good time? So pay them the same respect and speak up when you’re enjoying yourself. Something as simple as a little moan, or even saying something like, “that feels so good,” will encourage them and educate them further on your moan zones.

9. Mechanical act
It may feel comfortable to you to pump away like you do at the gym, but you’ll quickly discover that most people don’t enjoy such an act. Mix it up a little bit; go fast at times, then slowly. Be creative and you’ll find yourself enjoying some variation too.

10. Pretending to have an orgasm
A lot of women are guilty of this. We have enough movies and examples that highlight how ladies fake orgasms. It’s true that the orgasm of a woman is still a big mystery for many but that does not mean it should be a fake one. The main reason being, the partner would, some day or the other, get to know this and he would definitely not like it.

11. Jokes about private parts
Not everyone is well endowed when it comes to private parts. Laughing or cracking a joke about a partner’s private part may make him or her feel uncomfortable and it will only ruin the mood. Refrain from giving negative comments on private parts while having sex.

12. Comparing a lover with an ex

There can be no bigger turn off than comparing a partner with an ex-lover during sex. No matter how wonderful sex life you might have had with an ex-partner, mentioning it while having sex is not going to help anyone.

5 Things you should do while having sex

Kissing is the key – If you’re one of those who does not believe in kissing while having sex, then you’re truly missing out on the simple yet grand pleasures of life. While stimulation and physical touch is of utmost importance during sex, kissing adds an erotic satisfaction to the entire experience.

Foreplay is must – Foreplaying is an act that precedes the act of sex itself. It helps to trigger the psychological and physical responses in a person that increases the level of arousal in a person and enhances their sexual urges. If you still feel you’re doing it all wrong, then resort to the pleasures of foreplay.

Locate your best sex positions – Not everyone enjoys the same sexual position. Different positions guarantee different levels of orgasmic pleasures to various people. It is crucial that you locate a compatible yet comfortable position for you and your partner, so that your sexual experience does not become dull and painful.

Express you pleasure – One of the most important part of any sexual activity is talking or expressing your pleasures through something as natural as a pleasurable moan. You could also let them know what and when it feels good, so that they understand what pleases you the most.

Do not forget to experiment – Repeating the same sexual activity can sometimes make your relationship boring and monotonous. What you can do is experiment with different positions or activities that might spice up your experience. Add a little surprise to your sex life the next time you engage. You never know, it might just turn out to be the best sex ever.

We’ve all known that girl — she’s not the most conventionally attractive in the bunch but you’d think she was a Victoria’s Secret model based on the way men fall for her. What’s her deal? She has HOT girl energy, which is all about attitude, not appearance. She loves herself so others do too.

So, want to up your game? Then bring out the “hot” girl that lives in you. She’s the most confident, self-respecting part of yourself. And silence the “not” girl — that’s the that ugly, insecure voice that lives inside us all that we need to ignore. Here are 20 differences between the “hot” girl in you and the “not” girl in you:

The “not” girl in you tries to prove her worth to a man.
How to act sexy
The hot girl in you will only stay with a guy who understands her worth.

The “not” girl in you expects a man to complete her.
How to act sexy
The hot girl in you completes herself.

The “not” girl makes a man the center of her universe.
How to act sexy
The hot girl has a life.

The “not” girl tolerates being treated like an afterthought.
How to act sexy
The hot girl expects to be treated like a priority.

The “not” girl questions her own desirability when a guy isn’t good to her.
How to act sexy
The hot girl doubts the guy’s desirability.

The “not” girl will agonize over a guy’s confusing behavior.
How to act sexy
The hot girl has better things to do.

The “not” girl sees herself through a man’s eyes.
How to act sexy
The hot girl sees herself through her own eyes.

The “not” girl expects little and gets little.
How to act sexy
The hot girl expects a lot and gets a lot.

The “not” girl obsesses over her weaknesses.
How to act sexy
The hot girl defines herself by her strengths.

The “not” girl needs to be with a man.
How to act sexy
The hot girl chooses to be with a man.

The “not” girl revolves her life around a guy.
How to act sexy
The hot girl maintains her independence.

The “not” girl ignores red flags.
How to act sexy
The hot girl runs.

The “not” girl values attention.
How to act sexy
The hot girl values respect.

The “not” girl works hard to keep a guy interested.
How to act sexy
The hot girl knows that, while all relationships require work to be healthy and grow, you shouldn’t have to work hard to keep a guy interested if he’s the right guy.

The “not” girl is an expert in denial.
How to act sexy
The hot girl trusts her gut.

The “not” girl thinks her appearance is the key to keeping a man.
How to act sexy
The hot girl knows that being intelligent, interesting, and independent matter above all else.

The “not” girl will wonder whether a guy is into her.
How to act sexy
The hot girl thinks about whether she’s into the guy.

The “not” girl focuses on what a guy says.
How to act sexy
The hot girl focuses on how he behaves.

The “hot” girl would rather be single than settle.
How to act sexy
The not girl is afraid to be alone.

The “not” girl obsesses over how she looks.
How to act sexy
The hot girl focuses on what she exudes.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

A WOMAN was caught allegedly performing a sex act on a man on the London Underground in the middle of the day in front of horrified key workers during the coronavirus lockdown.

Police were called after a furious worker filmed the couple on the Piccadilly Line yesterday lunchtime and angrily confronted them – saying their behaviour was "disgusting".

How to act sexy

How to act sexy

In a video she posted to Twitter, the woman shouted to the couple: "There's a time and a place" as the man allegedly performed a sex act on the man.

She then posted a video where she confronted the pair.

She told them: "Don't do it. It's wrong.

"I come here to work to look after passengers like you and I had to watch that for 30 minutes. It's disgusting. Have some respect for yourselves."

Cops were were called to Acton Town station in West London at 12.15pm yesterday to a report of outraging public decency on the Piccadilly Line.

A British Transport Police spokesman said: "Officers attended and a couple were spoken to, and had their details taken.

"Following enquiries, no offences were disclosed."

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The couple were travelling on the London Underground the day after the Prime Minister effectively put Britain under lockdown.

In measures announced on Monday, the PM told people to only go to work if "absolutely necessary" and urged Brits to "stay at home".

However the PM has faced criticism as commuters continue to crowd on to the Tube.

On Tuesday, it was revealed the number of coronavirus dead in the UK had reached 422 – up from 335 the day before and the largest day-on-day increase in the number of deaths since the outbreak began.

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