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How to act like an adult

When you behave and act like an adult, it is good for creating healthy self-esteem. This doesn’t mean you have to read The Times every morning or button up your suit, rather it is a way you treat yourself and others that reduces anxiety and negative self-talk. I know many adults who act immature and children whose behaviors are better than grey haired grown-ups. Whether you’re 14 or 42, you have likely been taught some basics about acting maturely. The more childish you are in handling life’s ups and downs, the worse you will feel in the long run.

We call it mature when you pay the bills early, on time, or set up an automatic payment to avoid getting a late fee, or worse yet hurting your credit score. When you think about how these mature actions affect your internal state, they breed more trust and control within yourself. Conversely, acting childish can lead to more problems and stress, and is a continual cycle down the self-esteem “rabbit hole.”

Acting Like an Adult Serves Your Best Interests

How to act like an adult
Guilt about something we have done, or actively avoiding brings about anxiety; anxiety brings about doubt; doubt decreases self-esteem.

The Father of Transactional Analysis (TA is a theory of Psychology), Eric Berne, created the famous ‘parent adult child’ theory in which the adult “ego state” is the more balanced, less strict or emotional. The adult in you acts in a way that serves your best self, builds your confidence and increases the likelihood that you will feel good about your current decision in the future. Acting like an adult is a balance between emotionally fueled decision making and rigidity, which he considers to be the “child” and “parent” ego states. An adult state of mind is where we want to be.

How to Act Like an Adult

What does “acting like an adult” really mean? Here are some tips and examples.

Set it up now. Automatic payments, doctor appointments, appointment reminders, and even birthdays, can all be done online or with your smart phone. Take two minutes today and save thousands of worry and anxiety filled thoughts (which notoriously deplete yourself-esteem) later. That dentist appointment you have been putting off or even the bill that is over-due, no longer a drain on your time. Take care of your physical health now. If something is ailing you, make the appointment.

How to act like an adult
Stop splurging. Your body and bank account can’t bounce back like they once could. Late night pizza sessions or trying to “keep up with the Jones” and buying things beyond your budget lead to long-term physical and mental health issues. Save your pennies for a rainy day or eat a few slices not the whole pie. It leads to less guilt and more control.

Clean it up. Nothing makes you feel like your adolescent self than a sink full of dirty dishes and an unkempt home life. No one is perfect. I certainly have piles of books and papers around my apartment in a somewhat “organized-for-me” fashion. However, dirty or messy living spaces can make you feel like you are living in a collage dorm room. Literally, it can push you into a scattered frame of mind. How great does it feel when you know where something is and don’t spend hours looking for your keys or shirt you want to wear? Its a feeling of relief and confidence.

How to act like an adult
Avoid negative energy. Those people who complain, criticize or constantly belittle you, that’s like being stuck in an adolescent state of mind. Instead, adults chose the people they want around. Terrible colleagues or fighting family members may not be easy to avoid, but the logical side of your mind knows to stay away when you can and keep your interactions with them brief. You don’t want that polluting your mature mindset.

Avoid avoiding. You may feel like you’re in control, temporarily, but the more things build up, (whether it be the monthly bills, writing that frustrating email, or taking the next step in whatever you need to do), the more you put it off, the more it effects your self-esteem. Do it once and get it done.

Use manners. Be polite. Don’t get into aggressive arguments or engage in embarrassing behavior. Send the thank you card, call your grandma back, chew with your mouth shut, and try to take responsibility for your actions. If you messed up or made a mistake, admit to it now before it creates even more anxiety. It’s okay to admit you’re wrong. You don’t always have to be right. Most humans aren’t. Also, say sorry if you’re wrong. You will feel better.

Its always a good idea to activate your inner-child in creativity, don’t hide him or her. However, in making decisions that effect your self-esteem and self-confidence, its best to act more like an “adult” than a toddler.

APA Reference
Roberts, E. (2013, September 25). Act Like An Adult and Build Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, October 15 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2013/09/behave-like-an-adult-build-self-esteem

Author: Emily Roberts MA, LPC

Emily is a psychotherapist, she is intensively trained in DBT, she the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are. You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.

Thank you. Just what I was looking for! I have lived most of my adult life from the parent-child ego. Not a good place to live as an adult.

that article was very very helpful for me, what I am going through now. I will definitely use your advise.

This is so clean and simple. LOVE. I will try and grow up now. Thanks!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

One thing at a time always helps me!

Excellent and useful article, as well! To like and to be adult indicates different issue. But to intent to act like adult exhibits crucial personal life performance. Moreover, mature behave is building up through appropriate relationship in social milieu. In this way, the ability to adopt personal desires with circumstantial conditions decreases interpersonal frictions. To achieve this goal, it ought to see oneself by others-eyed. Each objection ought to serve as advantageous advise because we understand the real picture of “adult ego” , which have to face with daily psycho-social problems. Otherwise, we would be exposed continually to numerous conflict situations with danger consequences for mental health. Personal benefits come on across polite behave toward close relatives friends, and all around people.

For more than a decade now, I’ve struggled to define what fuels the most sustainably productive work environment — not just on behalf of the large corporate clients we serve, but also for my own employees at The Energy Project. Perhaps nothing I’ve uncovered is as important as trust.

Much as employers understandably hunger for one-size-fits-all policies and practices, what motivates human beings remains stubbornly complex, opaque, and difficult to unravel. Perhaps that’s why I felt so viscerally the shortsightedness and futility of Marissa Mayer’s decision to order Yahoo employees who had been working from home to move back to the office, and Hubert Joly’s to do the same at Best Buy.

Here’s the problem: Employees who want to game the system are going to do so inside or outside the office. Supervising them more closely is costly, enervating, and it’s ultimately a losing game. As for highly motivated employees who’ve been working from home, all they’re likely to feel about being called back to the office is resentful — and more inclined to look for new jobs.

At its heart, the problem for Mayer and Joly is lack of trust. For whatever reasons, they’ve lost trust that their employees can make responsible adult decisions for themselves about how to best get their work done and add value to the company. Distrust begets distrust in return. It kills motivation rather than sparking it. Treat employees like children and you increase the odds they’ll act like children. You reap what you sow — for better and for worse.

As an employer, I stay focused on one primary question about each employee: What is going to free, fuel, and inspire this person to bring the best of him or herself to work every day, most sustainably? My goal is to meet those needs in the best ways I can, without undue expense to others.

In the end, I’m much less concerned with where people do their work than with the value they’re able create wherever they happen to do it. The value exchange here is autonomy (grounded in trust) for accountability.

As CEO, I myself work from home for an hour or two in the mornings most days because it’s quiet and free of distractions. I find it’s the best way for me to get writing and other high-focus activities accomplished, and I know that’s true for many other business leaders.

One of the senior members of our team is a 35-year-old woman with three children under the age of nine. She lives 90 minutes from work. I’d love to have her at our offices every day, because I enjoy being able to interact with her around issues as they arise. I also just like having her around as a colleague.

But to make that possible she’d have to invest three withering hours commuting each day — a huge cost, not just in time, but also in energy, for work and for her family. Demanding that she make that trip every day would only prompt progressive fatigue, resentment, and impaired performance.

Instead, we settled from the start on having her come to the office two days a week, which is when we schedule our key meetings. Those days also provide time for spontaneous brainstorming of ideas across the team.

Another one of our team members, a woman with two teenage kids, travels frequently in her role. When she gets back from trips, she typically works from home the next day — both to recover, and to have more time for her family.

Two of our other staffers — one male and one female — work mostly at the office out of personal preference, but also have young kids and work from home on some days when their kids are on vacation, or get sick.

Two younger, married team members recently requested permission to move to Amsterdam for eight months — for no other reason than they wanted to experience another culture. For a moment, I bridled. But since technology makes it possible for them to do their jobs from anywhere, we were able to make it happen. They agreed to work during our regular office hours, and to visit our office for a week every two months. So far it seems to be working seamlessly.

Every one of these people is highly productive. I do have moments when I find myself wishing all of our team members were in the office more, and even wondering what they’re doing when I haven’t heard from them.

When those feelings arise, I take a deep breath and remind myself that my colleagues are adults, capable of making their own decisions about how best to get their work done, and that all good relationships involve some compromise.

It gets back to trust. Give it, and you get it back. In over a decade, no employee has ever chosen to leave our company. The better you meet people’s needs, the better they’ll meet yours.

Some people are developmentally delayed in the management of their emotions.

Key points

  • Someone’s psychological or emotional age is often evident in emotional reactions and habits.
  • Signs of emotional childishness include emotional escalations, blaming, lies, and name-calling.
  • Someone who is emotionally childish may also have poor impulse control, need to be the center of attention, or engage in bullying.

How to act like an adult

In my clinical practice, I primarily treat folks struggling with depression, anxiety, excessive anger, and marriage difficulties. Very often, an underlying issue is that for one reason or another, the client never quite grew up. So many people reach chronological adulthood without having mastered the core elements of adult emotional functioning.

How can you assess if an adult functions emotionally more like a child? As a therapist who works extensively with couples, I have learned that almost any client can look reasonably “adult” when I meet with him or her individually.

By contrast, seeing the same client in a couples therapy session where spouses are interacting gives me vastly more data. Mistaken, immature, and pathological behaviors all become much more visible. I also see the extent to which each partner’s actions are rude, hurtful, or even dangerously childish—or calm, respectful, and maturely adult.

What Is Emotional Age?

A psychologist from Africa with whom I once spoke at an international psychology conference explained to me that in his country, it was common to assess people in terms of both physical age and emotional age.

Physical age can be counted by number of birthdays. Physical age, especially with children, also tends to correlate with height, strength, and cognitive functioning. Psychological or emotional age, by contrast, becomes evident in emotional reactions and habits. For instance, adults can stay calm whereas children tend to be quicker to anger. Adults exercise careful judgment before talking whereas children may impulsively blurt out tactless, hurtful words.

If toddlers want a car or doll that another child is playing with, they are likely to reach out and take the item. Most preschoolers get mad or cry multiple times every day, even if they are basically well-nurtured and happy kids. The rules of adult play, like taking turns or not grabbing, have not yet begun to shape their behavior. Youngsters do not act in a consistently civil manner because they have not yet internalized the rules of “civilized” adults.

Behaviors that are normal for children however, look childish and rude when adults do them.

Can You Recognize Childish Adult Behavior?

One way to think about how young children differ from emotionally mature adults is to picture kids you know—maybe even your own children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and neighbors. How do these children differ from adults that you know and respect?

Before reading my list of characteristics that I look for, you might want to jot down a list of the traits that you noticed in your visualization. Please share with other readers in the comments below this article if you spotted some traits that I missed.

10 Signs of Emotional Childishness

How many of the following signs of emotional immaturity does your list include?

  1. Emotional escalations: Young children often cry, get mad, or outwardly appear petulant and pouting. Grownups seldom do.
  2. Blaming: When things go wrong, young children look to blame someone. Grownups look to fix the problem.
  3. Lies: When there’s a situation that’s uncomfortable, young children might lie to stay out of trouble. Grownups deal with reality, reliably speaking the truth.
  4. Name-calling: Children call each other names. Adults seek to understand issues. Adults do not make ad hominen attacks, that is, attacks on people’s personal traits. Instead, they attack the problem. They do not disrespect others with mean labels.

If you or someone you know functions more like a child than like a grown-up, what are your options?

It’s easy to love children who act like children. It’s harder to love someone who acts like a child in the body of a grownup. Still, most childlike adults only act childishly when they feel under threat.

Therefore, if you love someone who has childish sides, one strategy is to focus primarily on the more adult and attractive aspects of the person. If you are the childlike one, love your strengths—and pay attention to growing in your less mature habit areas.

Another strategy is to cease being surprised when the childish patterns emerge. Thinking, “I can’t believe that s/he/I did that!” signifies that you have not yet accepted the reality of the child-like behaviors. Accepting that the behaviors do occur is a first and vital step toward change.

Third, if you are the receiver of childish behaviors, beware of trying to change the other person. Instead, figure out what you can do differently so those patterns will no longer be problematic for you. Your job is to keep growing yourself, not to change others.

Lastly, learn the skills of adult functioning. Much of what grown-up “children” do can be considered as a skills deficit. If you tend to be childish, learning adult skills can move you into grownup-ville.

And if you generally function as a grownup, the more clear you are about what constitutes grown-up behavior, the more you will be able to stay a grownup—even when you are interacting with someone who is acting like a child.

This article was co-authored by Kirsten Parker, MFA. Kirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one’s confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management.

There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

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Acting mature is an important aspect of growing up since it allows you to gain more respect from other people and develops your independence. If you want to feel more responsible and mature, there are easy things you can incorporate into your daily life no matter your age. Having a mature mindset can help you control your emotions and open you up to new experiences. As you go throughout your day, try to reach goals and work independently so you don’t have to rely on others. When you talk to someone, think before you speak and listen well to help you seem more mature. Keep practicing maturity each day and other people will take you more seriously!

They pout when they don’t get their way. They scream when they’re overly tired. They refuse to listen when they’re angry. We must be describing toddlers, right? Umm, no. Unfortunately, that’s also the behavior of the classic immature husband. Other signs you’re married to a man dealing with emotional immaturity? They usually have a short temper. They get defensive very quickly, and they blame you for most of their problems.

Now, to be fair, we all have our immature moments, but a true immature husband is a man who isn’t even trying to mature into handling his relationship with his wife in a more adult manner. So whether your husband is immature most of the time, or just has immature outbursts here and there, there are some things you can do to make the situation better. While you might want to tell him to grow up, that’s probably not the best avenue toward change.

Instead, try these 3 ways to handle an immature husband.

1. Stop babying him.

When your husband starts acting immaturely, treat him like an adult, even if he’s acting like a baby. If he goes on and on in a whiny voice about how hard his job is or how unfair the world is, show empathy, “Oh, that’s terrible.” Don’t jump in as if he were a small child and try to fix his problem. You also don’t want to talk him out of his troubles because it might turn into an argument about how you don’t understand him and what he’s going through.

When your husband starts acting immaturely, treat him like an adult, even if he’s acting like a baby.

Also, be aware that your husband might just have had a bad day and needs your support and an understanding ear. You might be the only one he can really open up to. And, if he’s a pouter, it might be because he doesn’t know how to open up emotionally and he shuts down.

If his immature tendencies cause him to treat you harshly, you don’t have to put up with it. For example, if he starts mocking you during an argument, say, “You know, I’d rather not talk to you when you’re acting that way,” and leave the room.

2. Practice reality living.

This one is tough. You want to let him suffer the consequences, as much as you can, for his immature choices. Let’s say your husband goes out drinking with his friends and doesn’t get up for your daughter’s soccer game the next morning. While you might want to cover for him and make excuses to your daughter, let him take responsibility for his choices and talk to her himself.

If your husband is immature in the way he handles your family’s finances, tell him that you think it’s wise for you to put aside money for your household expenses before he starts his discretionary spending.

3. Take the high road.

Don’t sink to his level of immaturity. When your husband starts yelling or blaming, you might want to dish it right back and tell him he needs to act like an adult instead of acting like a child. Don’t. Stay on the high road. Tell him that you’re choosing to handle disagreements in a mature way and that when he’s ready to do the same, you’re all ears.

As much as possible, continue to look for the good in your husband in spite of his immature ways. See what you can relate to on this list of 99 things you might be thankful for about your husband. If your husband is more depressed than immature, we have three ways you can help your depressed husband.

How to act like an adult

Are you an adult who's fighting with your mom and dad? You're not alone. Honestly, I thought I could never get angrier than when my parents took away my Barbies when I was 6, or when they grounded me from going to my senior prom because they found pot in my bedroom. But it's proven that the older we get, the more aggravated we become with our families. And, more specifically, mothers feel a tension with their daughters. (Ladies, do you feel me?) As we all enter adulthood, why do we have trouble acting like adults?

As we grow old, we become settled into our personalities. We're individuals. We have our own kids, and most likely, our parents want a say in how to raise them–when it's not really their business in the first place. Let me guess–this has probably caused a fight or two in your family.

So instead of focusing on the problem, let's try to think of a solution. How do we create a healthy relationship with our parents once we've all entered adulthood?

STOP TRYING TO WIN THEIR APPROVAL, YOU DON'T NEED IT

Change the power dynamic. You don't need your parents approval anymore. When we're growing up, we are constantly seeking our parent's love. Don't bring that into adulthood. If you're still trying to find the perfect spouse, job, car, and house just to impress your parents, you're never going to be happy, and you're probably never going to make them happy either. Start doing things for yourself. Most likely, that's how you'll end up earning your parent's respect.

TALK TO THEM LIKE FELLOW ADULTS/FRIENDS

Treat your parents with respect (always) but don't treat them like your superior. Once you're an adult, you're a fully functioning human being with a set of responsibilities and an active role in this world. Most likely, you have your own family or at least a plant or cat that you take care of. If you act like an adult, and talk to them like an adult, they'll probably start treating you like one too.

SET BOUNDARIES

The sooner you set boundaries the better. Let your parents know they have to give notice before they come over. That you'll ask them for advice when you want it, otherwise you need to do your own learning in the world and they raised you perfectly well to do that. Let them know that one phone call a day is a great amount of talking. It might hurt their feelings at first, but it will give your parents their own free time and ultimately they'll realize they raised a cool, confident adult.

YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR PARENTS, BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR REACTIONS TO THEM

Bad news: your parents are most likely stuck in their ways emotionally. The only thing that you can control is yourself and your own actions. That goes for pretty much anything in this world, actually. So, when your parents are doing something you don't like or something that triggers you- keep your cool and figure out what the best way for you to react is that dissolves the situation. Part of being an adult now means being able to walk away from situations if you want to.

DON'T ASK FOR ADVICE UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT IT

If you ask for advice, be prepared to hear something that you don't want to, well. hear. So proceed with caution. Be careful what you wish for.

WHEN FIGHTING, LEAD WITH THE POSITIVE

If a conversation or action does end up turning into a fight, remember this is family you're dealing with. You're stuck with them. So always lead with love and kindness. Remind them of all their positive attributes and your appreciation of them, and then segway into, "and, when this happened, it made me feel _____." Reminder: it's actions that are problematic, not necessarily people. So target specific things they are doing that need to be amended rather than their whole personality. The best thing about being a grown up is that temper tantrums aren't your only means of communication anymore.

Family can be a difficult thing to tackle. Especially during the holidays. Good luck!

How to act like an adult

Driving my teenage daughters to school this morning, I was pissed. Traffic was slow. Then, we got stuck behind a school bus.

I pounded the steering wheel. “Ah, man! Why did people have to let that bus in!”

Noticing my daughters glance at each other, I continued.

“Yes, traffic should part in front of me! Everyone must understand that I am the only one in the world who matters, because I am….. a TODDLER!

We laughed. Then, of course, we started discussing all the ways adults tend to behave like little babies. Below are five of them.

But first, why do adults act like two-year-olds?

Why do we adults, who are capable of so much, act like spoiled babies? Freud postulated that unmet childhood needs get “stuck.” When your needs as a infant, baby or child are not satisfied, then you become emotionally stuck in that place, seeing the world through the lens of unsatisfied needs. Ultimately, you hold onto childish expectations that stem from chronic dissatisfaction.

Good luck finding another adult to satisfy those particular expectations.

It seems like a lot of us try, but other adults don’t seem to be impressed or willing to play our game the way we want them to (they’re busy playing their own game). This is where inner child work might come into play. The theory here is that, as an adult, you can meet your inner child’s needs and not expect other adults to do it for you.

Seems pretty intelligent, right?

Freud’s colleague, the virtually unknown Edmund Bergler, postulated something a bit more interesting, however. Bergler suggested that we become so accustomed to those unmet needs that we actually begin to (unconsciously) enjoy being stuck in the regressed state. Therefore, we don’t really want to let go and grow up. This leaves us stuck in what is essentially a self-sabotaging way of being.

How to act like an adult

So, there I am, pounding the steering wheel, angry and upset and subtly enjoying myself at the same time. Perhaps I am taking secret delight in infantile belief that I am the center of the universe. The sense of grandiosity is pleasurable, and even the self-righteous frustration comes with a hint of narcissistic pride.

Ouch. That’s a tangled ball of yarn!

Yet, it might explain why, at 47-years-old, these toddler expectations still come to life inside me. It’s pleasurable to consider the world catering to my needs – and when it doesn’t – I get a hit on all that strangely delicious angst. Win-win!

This subtle pleasure in emotional angst is the root of psychological attachments and self-sabotage, according to this model.

Why does holding onto toddler expectations lead to self-sabotage?

Because the world doesn’t work that way. Expecting your toddler expectations to be met by other adults is like hitting your head against and brick wall, over and over and over. Do you enjoy that pain?

Anyway, here is what we came up with as we slowly made our way to school, stuck behind that big yellow bus.

How Adults Behave Just Like Toddlers

1. Taking others for granted.

Toddlers may love their caretakers in a uniquely toddler way, but do not possess the ability to fully appreciate them. Many adults are similar when it comes to love. The direct or indirect message is, “What are you doing for ME? And forget what I can do for you. I don’t operate on those terms.”

In others words, “I am a big baby who demands to be taken care of while giving as little as possible in return. Now, accommodate me.”

2. Thinking you’re all that.

Yes, there are those who beam with delight about themselves, their accomplishments and positive traits. And somehow they don’t acknowledge or take interest in yours.

When you mention something positive that you have done, they condescend, patronize or one-up you. After all, they are all-powerful toddlers!

3. Expecting perfection.

This stuff really is all about expectations and NOT reality. Some of us adult toddlers simply expect everything to be perfect. We must be perfect, and if there’s a chance that we’ll be perceived otherwise, we panic.

Like a toddler, if a gift or a favor is handed to us, we find it so easy to be upset when it doesn’t match our impossible fantasy that every irrational whim be satisfied.

4. Wanting it NOW!

Ah, impatience. I am a huge fan of impatience because it feeds my toddler fantasy that life should instantly gratify my every desire. Too bad life doesn’t seem to be all that interested!

So many good things take time – and a ton of persistent effort. Starting a business, losing weight, building a healthy relationship – all these take much more time and discipline than many of us care to devote.

Nope, we want it now – all of it!

5. Expecting life to be easy.

This goes hand in hand with patience. You’ve heard the saying, if success were easy, everyone would have it. Most worthwhile endeavors require exertion, over time, that respects the potential reward. That’s how it works. That’s real.

But, no! I want total success now. And I want to it be served on a silver platter! And if you tell me I can’t have it, I’ll immediately begin acting like a baby.

Are you empowering your inner toddler?

We all do it. The question is, are you aware of how you feed your inner toddler’s narcissism? And are you making conscious choices to do otherwise when you can?

When you catch yourself acting like a baby, I suggest you simply acknowledge it. For example, say to yourself, “I am empowering my inner toddler again.” Or something like that. No need to get upset. That would just fuel the toddler fire. Just be aware and decide whether or not you want to keep doing it.

So many problems vanish when we approach them in an adult frame of mind.

And let’s remember that adult toddlers are not happy. Deep down, they harbor feelings of isolation, fear, humiliation, hopelessness and helplessness. Don’t react to them (or to yourself) as just another toddler. As an adult, expect maturity of yourself and others in a mature way.

By the way, I learned about self-sabotage and our tendency to nurture stuck states from Peter Michaelson over at WhyWeSuffer. I highly recommend all his books.

As the nation matured from the childishness of 2020 to the adulthood of 2021, President Donald Trump returned to the Oval Office and rolled up his sleeves to do the work that a mature adult nation needs at such a time as this.

What’s his urgency to return to work as he heads down the stretch of what is supposed to be his last 20 days as the most powerful man in world? Most presidents would have used this time to wind down and prepare for the transfer of power to their successors.

But it is evident this president wants to make sure that a 2020 nation realizes how important it is to come of age in the new year. He also knows that the truth matters.

As we begin 2021, we must realize we are deep in a battle to save our nation from the threat of socialism – which, as history has proven, always ends up in full-blown communism.

We are also under attack from the real threat of outside election interference. Unlike previous allegations of outside interference, this threat has evidence of being real. After all, it’s not like the evidence that was presented at the president’s fake impeachment trial.

The president is presenting his case about election fraud and cheating to the American people, the media, state legislators and various courts. Many are still acting like juveniles, seemingly ignoring mounds of evidence of election fraud and cheating in favor of Joe Biden.

The president, acting on our behalf, is not giving up on his quest to have our election system reviewed. He is acting like an adult. He recognizes the importance of reaching out to seek the truth, and he wants to protect our founding principles and our Constitution.

During his possibly final days in office, he is reaching out one last time to petition the courts and Congress. He is asking those who are just as concerned as he is to help him show the election was stolen from the American people. Evidence would profess that he won the 2020 election by a landslide if that evidence was reviewed by responsible parties.

Why aren’t the courts seriously reviewing the voting machines, excessive illegal ballots and other suspicious evidence and improprieties presented in sworn affidavits? Why are election officials turning their heads as evidence is reportedly being destroyed or hidden from review?

People will gather in Washington, D.C. and other cities on January 6th to show their support for what President Trump is trying to accomplish. They have not been fooled, and they want to know the real results. It’s not just about stealing the election. It’s about saving the republic and preserving the integrity of our election process. It’s about the future of America!

Every American should want to know the truth.

We are the envy of the world when it comes to freedom and liberty, and we must maintain our position as a world leader. We must continue to be the hope of people everywhere who look to the United States of America as the path to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

This injustice should prick the hearts of every American as 2020 transitions into 2021. It should serve as a reminder of the importance of what it means for one to grow into full adulthood. Great responsibility comes with that transition. Our president – and each one of us – should recognize that fact and stand up for the truth and to protect the American Dream.

Our future, as well as the success of the great American Experiment, depends on our vigilance. It’s all on trial here.

As Ben Franklin observed and warned: We have a republic, if we can keep it.

We must do everything in our power to hold onto our nation as our Founding Fathers envisioned it and gave their all to provide. We must continue to build upon their dreams to form a government that makes America great. After all, it is American greatness that has made the world a better and safer place and that has given us the greatest ability in the world to worship God, enjoy freedom of speech and pursue our dreams as a free people. We must not throw that away.

As we move into 2021, let us act as adults. Let us use mature judgement and common sense to restore our nation, so that we may maintain our position as the beacon of freedom for the world.

New Visions Commentaries reflect the views of their author, and not necessarily those of Project 21, other Project 21 members, or the National Center for Public Policy Research, its board or staff.

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Have you noticed there are people who always seem to be more likable?

In a recent episode of the new ABC drama Mind Games, one of the characters mentions an interesting personality trait that defines the most popular people: they more readily admit their weaknesses rather than waiting for them to be revealed over time. The show is about using cunning tricks to manipulate others and ensure a positive outcome, so it’s a bit ridiculous, but there’s truth in the observation.

In the office, it’s possible to exhibit traits that help you to be more likable. In my years as a corporate manager and developing my writing career, I’ve noticed when people appear more likable and I’ve tried to develop these traits myself. Here’s a few to cultivate.

1. Ask questions.
I’ve noticed people who ask questions are often well-liked. It’s human nature to be helpful and we all have a great desire to share what we know. When someone appears to need our help, we tend to like them more because we like being the one who provides the answers.

2. Talk more, not less.
A friend of mine is a small business owner and he is extremely well liked. One of his strongest traits is that he tends to talk constantly. You never have to guess what he’s thinking. He’s not blunt or rude, but he explains things in detail. (Being an introvert, I need to develop this trait more in myself–and use texting and e-mail a little less often.)

3. Give your time…gratis.
A no-strings-attached approach to helping others also makes you more likable. Think of the person you like the most–usually, it’s someone who will help you with the copier machine or is willing to read through your business proposal in a pinch. Of course, those who help just to be liked always reveal a manipulative trait, so make sure you’re genuine.

4. Listen better.
I mentioned how talkers tend to be more likable, and that’s true. Sometimes, over-communicating puts people at ease. But it’s also important to pause once in a while and listen. Good communicators take a breath once in a while! Likable people are always listeners who are curious to (genuinely) learn new things. The best communicators talk and talk–and then listen for a response. That makes them an office favorite.

5. Really and truly care.
How do you develop the personality trait of caring? It can be difficult, especially in an age of social media where everyone is dangerously close to being a narcissist. Caring is an act of setting aside your own interests and ambitions for a while and helping others. It requires effort. You have to consciously decide you are going to care about someone else. When you do, and you are genuine about it, you’ll find that more people will like you.

6. Admit it, you don’t know everything.
We all know how important it is to steer clear of the office know-it-all. Why is that? Part of the reason is we know that person won’t ask for our help, and we like to be helpful. More importantly, those who have all of the answers are usually pushing their own agenda. In their conceited attitude, they exhibit a sense of pride that’s not attractive to anyone.

7. Go for the laugh, every time.
It’s hard to hate a jokester or someone who has a carefree approach to life. Usually, the most-liked people are those that can fill a room with laughter. It might not be in your nature to joke around, and that’s okay. Just make sure you are ready to see the humor in something. Be someone who can laugh easily and smile often. You’ll win people over.

8. Lighten up.
I will admit to struggling with this one. I’m a serious person with serious concerns! (Most of the time.) But it’s better to see the big picture in life. Really serious people are essentially acting selfish because they focus too much on their personal issues. Highly likable people at work are those who can set aside their concerns and go with the flow. They’re selfless.

9. Don’t be pushy.
Here’s an interesting one–and difficult trait to master. I went on a road trip with someone a few years ago, and I remember how he told me he doesn’t have highly distinct tastes. What does that really mean? For starters, he’s not that selfish and won’t push his preferences–he’ll go to lunch at any restaurant and listen to any form of music. He’s flexible. That makes him likable because he will adjust to the situation.

10. Admit your weaknesses.
That character on the show Mind Games is right: Admitting weaknesses makes you more likable. People figure them out on their own anyway. Of course, it’s important not to act like a victim or share your problems with everyone you meet. At work, it’s okay to go into a meeting and lead with the challenges you face. People are more likely to suggest a few solutions, come to your aid, and even pat you on the back.