When you finally muster the courage to ask a friend out on a date and they say no, it can hurt in more ways than one. Here is how you can not only deal with the pain of being rejected, but also keep your cool so you don’t damage your relationship for the future.
Take the Initial Rejection In Stride
How you act in the moment of rejection is important, and as much as you may want to get upset, you need to remain calm and collected so your friendship—or potential friendship—isn’t marred by your actions. The key to keeping your dignity is taking the rejection in stride.
Don’t get angry or lash out in the moment or afterwards. Remember, they don’t owe you anything in any way. If they’re not interested in you, that’s just how it is. However, you’re still allowed to feel what you need to feel. You’re just better off doing it out of their sight. Take a deep breath, let them know that it’s all good, and when you have some time to yourself, address any leftover emotions. At Psychology Today, psychologist Jeremy Nicholson suggests you also avoid placing blame on anyone, especially yourself:
Rejection is not your fault. Try not to personalize and take the blame. There are many reasons why someone can be disinterested and very few of them relate to you at all.
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It’s not their fault they don’t feel the same way as you, but it’s also not your fault for having those feelings to begin with. It sucks that it didn’t work out, but you don’t have to feel ashamed for going for it.
Give yourself some space and occupy your time with some healthy coping mechanisms like exercising, spending time with friends and family, reading a good book, or even playing some video games. Make sure it’s something you enjoy or something you’re good at, so you can take your mind off the situation and start to feel good again. Once you address everything, you can fully accept the situation and move on.
Address the Awkwardness Head On
Being around somebody that’s rejected you can be incredibly awkward. You both know how you truly feel about each other, and that’ll make you both uncomfortable. That awkward vibe won’t go away, so the internet’s Dr. Nerdlove suggests you take charge:
Awkwardness is in all about how you act. Most people are going to take their cues from you; if you don’t act awkward around them, they are less likely to be awkward around you.
When you’re around them, try not to be too emotional. Don’t stare at them longingly, and make sure you actually talk. Speak to them the same way you would to any other friend, because after all, they are your friend—or at least they were before you asked them out. Remember that and try to focus on it.. If it gets too quiet and weird, Nerdlove recommends calling it like it is.
You don’t necessarily have to straight-up say “ this is awkward ,” but acknowledging that things are still a little weird is okay. They will probably agree and you’ll both have a good laugh, hopefully easing some of the tension. Of course, be sure you sense the tone first. It might be better to just excuse yourself from the situation if things get too weird. There’s no need to apologize to them for the awkwardness, just address it and try to move on to a new subject.
Avoid the Phrase "This is Awkward" in Uncomfortable Situations
Awkward stuff happens. We cringe and we move on. To keep a truly uncomfortable situation from…
Stay Friends by Actually Being Their Friend
The initial phases of post-rejection friendship is like navigating a minefield. You feel uneasy, you have to take things slowly, and you have to watch every step you make to keep things from getting messy. If you want try to keep your friendship alive, it’s something that you have to take seriously. Nerdlove explains that the key to remaining friends with someone after asking them out is focusing on just being a friend:
. if you spend the time afterwards moping and moaning about how unfair it is that they stubbornly refuse to develop feelings for you, you’re going to kill the friendship afterwards. Similarly, you don’t want to make your friendship a referendum on why they won’t date you. If you’re constantly making your feelings for them a part of your friendship, you won’t HAVE that friendship for much longer. You got your answer, now you have to move on.
That means no hidden agendas to get them to fall in love with you, no holding out hope that they’ll change their mind, no creepy conspiracies to change their mind or “get them to fall for you,” and no acting snotty when they start to show interest in someone else. As dating expert Christie Hartman explains , friendship is a two-way street and it may not be what’s best for either of you right now:
Friendship needs a reason. People become friends for the same reason they get into relationships – that person fulfills a need. Even though you could imagine being friends with this person you just went out with, you probably don’t need that person as a friend. And you can’t base a friendship on guilt or trying to make someone feel less rejected. Friendship only works when both people agree. If one person wants more than friendship, it’s not friendship, even if there’s nothing physical happening.
You have to treat them—and think about them—the exact same way as any of your other friends or it will fall apart. If you don’t think you can do that, it might be time to say goodbye.
The words hit me like a hurricane: “I know how you feel.”
They’re right there on pages 80 and 81 of my colleague Justin Bariso’s new book about emotional intelligence. They’re simple words, and real–and yet as Justin writes, they’re also absolutely the wrong thing to say to those who confide in you with their problems or fears.
These situations are tough, sometimes. You’ve been trusted. You want to develop rapport. You want to act the way somebody with real emotional intelligence would act.
You want to help.
Yet, rather than creating a connection, “I know how you feel” and other phrases like it build a wall between you and the other person.
The phrase suggests that you don’t truly understand what the other person feels at all. (Really, how could you?) It suggests that you feel the need to turn the conversation toward your experience, not his or hers, and that ultimately you don’t really care about that person’s concerns after all.
In other words, this five-word phrase sends a message that’s 100 percent the opposite of what you intend.
So don’t say, “I know how you feel.” Here’s what to do instead.
Shift vs. support
If you’ve read this far, I suspect you really do care about people. But like me perhaps, you don’t always realize the true effects of your words.
The solution, as sociologist Charles Derber suggests, and Celeste Headlee summarizes, is to gauge your responses in real time, and ask yourself whether you’re offering a “shift response” or a “support response.”
What’s the difference?
A shift response involves an attempt to guide the conversation toward your life experiences, and away from the experiences of the person you’re ostensibly listening to and perhaps even trying to help.
A support response sets aside your ego, and instead keeps the focus on the other person’s feelings and experience.
A few examples will make this very clear. In each case below, just imagine that a friend or colleague opens a conversation with the highlighted statement. Then think about how each response would make him or her feel.
1. “My boss doesn’t respect me.”
- Shift response: “I went through the exact same thing last year. I wound up leaving and finding a better job.”
- Support response: “I’m sorry to hear that. What makes you feel that way?”
2. “If I could just get organized, I’d have the world on a string.”
- Shift response: “I know–I have the same problem.”
- Support response: “What do you think stops you from being organized?”
3. “I’m so sad since my breakup.”
- Shift response: “You just need to get back out there and start dating again.”
- Support response: “What do you think stops you from being able to move forward?”
Derber calls the whole phenomenon, at least the part in which well-meaning people shift the discussion to their own experience, “conversational narcissism.”
Is that a $20 phrase to describe a $1 problem? Maybe. But it does make it clear.
“I can imagine. “
As Justin puts it in his book, the successful strategy to communicate effectively and leverage emotional intelligence requires avoiding phrases like these:
- “I know exactly how you feel.”
- “I’ve been through this before.”
- “I completely understand; or, I get it.”
And replacing them instead with things like the following:
- “I’m sorry that happened.”
- “I can imagine how you may feel.”
- “Thanks for sharing this. Tell me more.”
Actually, I might take issue even with “I can imagine how you may feel.” But we’ll leave it in.
Just remember that the whole point here is to acknowledge how hard it is to really put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and instead make clear that you have empathy.
You’re trying to understand–even as you acknowledge that full success might not ever be possible. The tr ue connection that you’re both looking for comes with the well-communicated attempt.
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If you’re lucky, you don’t hate your co-workers. In fact, if you’re really lucky, you probably like them a lot, and maybe you even want to turn the relationships into full-on friendships (ah, scandalous!). After all, you see these people all day, every day, so it only makes sense you want to take it to the next level.
It’s normal to want friends at work—and it’s actually crucial to your career success. Because as I said, you spend most of your time on the job, so when you don’t like the people you work with, it makes getting through the day a lot harder. When you enjoy each other’s company, you’re bound to have a lot more happy (and productive) days.
But before you start making friendship bracelets, there are a few rules to getting buddy-buddy with your colleagues.
1. Don’t Push the Boss-Employee Relationship
I’m going to get real for a second: No matter how much you and your manager have in common, and how much fun you have together, he or she is still your boss.
This doesn’t mean you can’t talk about non-work stuff or spend time together outside of the office—it just means you have to be a bit more cognizant of what you choose to discuss. The same goes for being friendly with your direct reports.
Regardless of your company culture, you 100% need to remember that you want this person to respect you—and that a few, small choice comments can erode respect all too quickly.
2. Do Be Considerate
Your work buddy may live in the same neighborhood as you, or they may live in a town you’ve never heard of. They may be married with kids, or they may cringe at the thought of a family.
Friendship doesn’t discriminate, but how you choose to hang out can. If, for example, your co-worker can’t do happy hour with the rest of the team because they have to pick up their children, be open to suggesting ideas that happen during the workday—say, substituting happy hour for lunch at your favorite restaurant. Or, if you know they don’t drink, plan to grab coffee rather than drinks.
Acknowledge the fact that while everyone may want to hang out, they’re all coming from different places, with different priorities and different backgrounds. So rather than writing people off because they don’t want to do exactly what you want to do, be flexible. You’ll make way more valuable connections that way.
3. Don’t Be Clique-y
Having a group of friends in the workplace is great! But you know what’s not so great? Being the adult who started a middle school clique in a grown-up office.
By only hanging out with a few people and not making the effort to get to know others, you’re likely alienating your other colleagues—and honestly, probably making your job harder in the process. (Josie’s far less likely to do that favor for you if she discovers that you invited everyone but her to grab coffee.)
So, every once in a while, break the routine of only hanging out with your favorites and get to know the rest of your team.
4. Do Be Yourself
You may feel inclined to act a certain way in order to fit into the company culture and make friends.
But real, honest friendships form when you’re yourself, not pretending to be someone else (I know, am I a Hallmark card or what?). Plus, if you want to bring the relationship to a second location—a.k.a., leave the office—you don’t want people to be confused by the way you act when you’re not sitting at a desk. Finally, putting up a face is just plain exhausting—and on top of everything else you have to do, a waste of energy.
As a result of being yourself, you may not click with everyone you work with, and that’s OK. As long as you find yourself in the company of people who like you for you.
5. Don’t Rush It
Like any friendship, the ones you make at work take time. You may be only a few months into your new role and wondering why you don’t have a work wife yet.
Or, you may be desperate to invite everyone you work with to your birthday party—before you’ve established your reputation as a hard worker first (what I’m saying is that you want everyone to know that you’re great at your job before you let them see you three beers deep).
If you’re feeling a little lonely, cut yourself some slack, give it time, and read this article on four ways to make friends.
If you’re more than a few months in and still struggling, you should ask yourself some questions, such as: Are you attending optional social events? Have you asked anyone to grab coffee? Are you sitting at your desk all day with your headphones on? It could be that you work in an unfriendly office (and if so, I’m sorry!), or it could be that you’re unintentionally sending the message that you’re not there to make friends.
As long as you follow these (highly recommended) guidelines, you’re on the right track for forming meaningful connections with your colleagues—connections that won’t just make even the worst job bearable, but your life outside work better, too.
Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach.
The wind gets knocked out of you. It’s an adrenaline rush; you don’t know if you’re grateful for it, or if you want to start sobbing.
Someone who was once the world to you is suddenly just a stranger. So how are you supposed to act when you see your ex? Kiss them? Yell at them? Hide behind a lamp, and hope that you somehow have the ability to turn invisible?
If you’ve recently run into your ex in public, or know that you’re soon going to be attending the same event, here are little ways to cope with seeing your ex for the first time post-breakup. (And getting in a huge fight in line at the coffee shop is not one of them.)
1. Don’t Over-Talk
I don’t know about you, but when I get nervous, I talk and I talk and I talk in an effort to fill any potential silence. I’ll talk about the weather, that documentary I just watched, the person I just saw trip on the street, the parking ticket I got two weeks ago.
Newsflash: It’s not the silence that can be awkward, it’s my blabbermouth.
When you run into an ex, the secret to a successful interaction is keeping it short and sweet. Keeping the conversation at under three minutes at most is key.
You don’t need to catch up on everything that has happened since you broke up or find out how his cousins are. Keep the conversation kind and complimentary, and if you find yourself wanting to talk more, make plans to catch up another time.
Remember, when it comes to running into an ex, the more you talk, the higher the risk is for embarrassment.
2. Don’t Overthink
Don’t read into anything your ex says or does.
That hug doesn’t mean that he wants to get back together. Just because he tells you that you look good, doesn’t mean you two are still in love.
Running into an ex is an emotional experience. You long for the past, you get angry at your partner for ruining it, and let’s face it: Sometimes, you get horny. Don’t idealize or fantasize about the person you broke up with for a reason — and probably a good reason at that.
After running into an ex, leave it in the moment, and then, keep moving forward. Don’t text all of your girlfriends or talk about it incessantly with every person you hang out with for the next week, or else you’ll just relive your breakup all over again.
You ran into a person from your past, and, unfortunately, sometimes, that’s all it is.
3. Don’t Bring Up The Past
Running into an ex at a party is not the occasion to tell him that you’re still resentful about that night he didn’t do the dishes or the time he forgot your birthday.
If you see an ex, keep it light, breezy, and fun. It’s not the time to air your grievances, especially in the line at Starbucks. If you still feel like you have unfinished business, then schedule an in-person meeting or phone call for that.
If you run into an ex on a whim, keep the conversation in the present. It’s not the time to bring out the skeletons in your relationship closet, or most likely, you’ll end up fighting or crying in public.
Not a good look!
4. Don’t Lie About The Present
"Oh, yeah. I have a boyfriend. He’s a model. And a doctor. He’s not here right now, though, because he’s out of town. Traveling on his private jet. To do charity work."
Bluffing or exaggerating about your current personal, professional, or romantic situation only makes you seem desperate and sad. You don’t need to impress anyone, and there is not, despite popular belief, a prize for whomever is doing better after a breakup.
In fact, the person who is doing best post-breakup is the person who has nothing to prove and is just living their life for themselves.
So if you run into an ex, be honest and authentic about what’s going on in your life, if he asks. And whatever you do, don’t lie and tell your ex that you’re pregnant with his child to get him back. This doesn’t work!
5. Be The Bigger Person
If your ex comes at you trying to fight, don’t sink to his level. Be the bigger person, and remember all the tips I just gave you: Keep it short, sweet, and if he’s still angry, tell him you can meet at another time and place.
If there is still animosity between you and your ex, and you hate the idea of running into him in public, then kill him with kindness if you see him. Being rude, condescending, or spiteful won’t help either of you to move on or be happy in your individual lives.
In this case, a wave, a head nod, or a short hello might even be best. At the end of the day, you’ll never regret being kind or having manners.
But whatever you do, make sure you don’t hide behind a tree or crouch behind a sofa to avoid your ex. Most likely, he’ll see you, and be able to tell everyone "See, I told you she was crazy!"
No matter what income level they’ve achieved, some people still don’t have a clue as to how to draw others to them. They don’t know what to say to put others at ease or how to act in order to electrify a room. But by the time you reach 50, you should know a thing or two about how to impress those around you. People can tell when you feel comfortable in your own skin. And when you feel comfortable in your own skin, you’ll give others the confidence they need to be themselves as well. And that’s pretty impressive.
Famous folks usually included on lists of the world’s most impressive people include Hillary Clinton, Taylor Swift and Chris Christie. What do they have in common? All are smart and supremely self-confident.
After consulting with a few very impressive friends, here are seven ways to wow people in 60 seconds or less. Have your own ideas? Tell us about them in comments.
1. Treat your spouse well.
Few things impress me LESS than someone who talks poorly about their spouse (or children for that matter). Marital fidelity/loyalty is becoming increasingly rare, especially among my 50-something friends. Those who stay faithful to their partner — and who also don’t cut them down — impress me. And certainly they impress their spouses as well. So take your partner’s hand, or say something nice about them.
2. Look people in the eye
If you can hold someone’s gaze, you are more likely to connect with them on a personal level. If someone can’t look me in the eye, I tend to think they are either hiding something or are simply not very confident about what they have to say. I’m impressed when people have the confidence to really focus on me.
3. Give compliments freely to those who deserve it
I have a friend who always — without fail — says something nice to me as soon as she sees me. It’s always something simple like “I love those earrings” but it always makes me feel good and it always makes me want to be around her. People may not always remember what you say, but they will remember how it feels to be around you. Obviously, don’t overdo it. But a simple, genuine compliment goes a long way.
4. Do what you say you’re going to do
I have another friend who, if she says she’s going to meet you at 7 p.m., she’s going to meet you at 7 p.m. and not a minute after. I have other friends who are habitually late or who make promises they can never deliver on. I’d rather have a friend tell me “no” than to tell me “maybe” and then renege on me later on. Be reliable and people will respect you for it.
5. Stand up for your beliefs in a respectful, intelligent manner
There are few things more impressive to me than someone who doesn’t shy away from standing up for their beliefs — and then who can back up what they say with intelligent research while also keeping an open mind and listening to what others have to interject. By the time you’re 50, you should definitely have a pretty clear idea of where you stand on issues. Impress people by speaking out without sounding arrogant.
6. Ask about a person’s kid or grandkid
I’m always impressed when someone remembers something pertaining to one of my three kids. When someone asks me about, say, my daughter’s audition for the lead in the school play, it shows me they are paying attention to what’s going on in my life. And that’s very impressive.
7. Know what’s going on in the world
Even those who have a cursory knowledge of current events are impressive. (And this doesn’t just mean knowing who won “Dancing With The Stars” the night before.) If you don’t have a lot of time, try at least scanning the headlines or catching up on the news during the weekend.
Some people keep feelings and emotions close to the vest. They aren’t bad people, but it can be frustrating when we’re only treated to occasional glimmers of their sparkling personality. Their slow message response times (leaving you “on read”) and unaccepted invitations make you feel unwanted, or that you’re the only person putting in any effort.
Having a heart-to-heart with a cheerful, friendly person, however, rarely feels like a struggle. But if everyone was cheerful and friendly, we’d already have world peace. Dealing with people who are distant seems to present a bigger challenge.
Chances are they’re not trying to make you feel bad. And luckily, continuing the effort can reward you with a wonderful new friend, or a closer relationship with a familiar face.
Whether this distant person is part of a burgeoning relationship, a family member you’ve always admired, or a newly reclusive sibling or spouse, here is how to show them you value their presence.
A number of traits and mental illnesses lead to a distant personality. Insecure attachment styles, like reactive attachment disorder and disinhibited social engagement disorder, can make people hesitant to start up conversations, seek comfort in the company of others, or ask for what they want directly.
However, just because someone is distant doesn’t mean they qualify for these disorders. In fact, the DSM says these behaviors must be present before age five to count as a “disorder.” Anxiety and depression can also easily manifest as distance. Pushing away loved ones is a common symptom of depression.
Even lesser stressors, like buying a home, going through finals, or helping a sick relative can lead a person to someone retreating and acting distant.
You may not know specifically what causes a person to distance themselves. They may not want you to know, and that’s okay. Don’t push for an explanation. But have empathy when reaching out: Refusing to easily share feelings doesn’t mean they’re rude or dislike you.
Open Yourself Up
Some distant people struggle to share their feelings. They may be embarrassed by their emotions, or scared of being vulnerable.
When dealing with a distant person, consider taking a few leaps of vulnerability yourself. Don’t reveal your whole life story — that can scare off even the friendliest stranger! — but show them that you’re not scared of serious conversation. By taking that first frightening step, you provide an opening for them, too.
Give Them Time
Demonstrating vulnerability is a fantastic way to engage a distant person. Just keep in mind: distance is not changed in one conversation. It may take time for your friend to fully open up.
For example, if a person is distant because socializing increases their anxiety, they may only have the energy for one conversation per week. Consider their emotional resources like a battery: every interaction decreases the charge. Refueling time is mandatory, so texts may be slow or they may decline your next invitation out.
Relationship progress can be exciting, but don’t be disheartened when a distant person moves more slowly than you.
When you talk to your friend, make sure to used I-focused language: “I feel like you don’t respect me when you ignore my text messages” instead of “You are being disrespectful when you ignore my texts.” Accusations may make them more distant.
Quick caveat: be frank, not cruel. Since distance may be driven by depression and anxiety, avoiding harsh criticism is best. But many people don’t recognize their own distancing behavior, and a heads-up might do them a favor.
Pay attention to what works
Whenever you interact, keep close tabs on what works — and what makes them shy away. Did sharing your own struggles encourage them, or did you find them more distant after that chat? Did they make an effort to reach out more often after you told them how their distance makes you feel? You don’t want to smother someone who prefers less interaction.
Respect Your Differences
Remember, every person is different. Depending on the reasons for their distance, they may respond better to different approaches. Get to know them and you’ll be better able to predict what makes them tick.
Making friends is important — as is getting to know old friends and family better. But if the distance grates on your mental health, take a time-out break for your own sake. And if their unresponsiveness leaves you sad, talking with your therapist can help you set expectations or barriers.
Craving connection and friendship with other people is a fundamental part of being human. But what does being a friend mean in a world where hackers are trying to be your “friend” on Facebook?
This story comes from Life Kit, NPR’s family of podcasts for making life better — everything from finances to exercise to raising kids. For more, sign up for the newsletter and follow @NPRLifeKit on Twitter.
The act of making and being a friend is as simple as it is difficult. We spoke with experts to help find ways to make new friends, as well as to take better care of the friendships you already have.
Here are a few of their insights:
Accept the awkwardness and assume that other people need new friends, too
It’s weird and uncomfortable to make new friends. When you reach out to somebody you don’t know well — whether that’s sending the first text message or making small talk in the elevator — you often feel exposed. You have to accept that awkwardness and the vulnerability it stems from, because guess what? You can’t have friends without getting vulnerable.
Remember that people will like you more than you think they will
When you are moving through the world, don’t forget that human connection is yours for the taking. It’s science: Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, has done research on something called the “liking gap,” which says that the little voice in your head telling you that somebody didn’t like you very much is wrong, so don’t listen to it.
“When you talk to someone else, you’re actually going to brighten their day,” Sandstrom says.
If you’re up for it, Gillian and her colleagues have developed a scavenger hunt challenge to help you talk to strangers.
Invest in activities that you love
Ask anyone about how to make friends and they will most likely tell you to try a new hobby. It might sound hollow, says Heather Havrilesky, the advice goddess behind the “Ask Polly” column on the website The Cut, but it works.
“Do the things you’re passionate about and you will naturally draw people to you, and you’ll naturally connect with other people because you’ll be in the right place,” Havrilesky says.
Don’t forget to start with something you are actually interested in, and if it doesn’t work out, remind yourself that you contain multitudes! You don’t have to be interested in just one thing.
It’s OK to treat friendship as seriously as you would dating
Want Stronger Friendships? Pull Out Your Notepad
Having friends is one of the most nourishing parts of being alive, so it’s not weird or bad or wrong to prioritize it. Get comfortable putting yourself out there a little bit. Carve the time and space you need to find and nourish your friendships. It’s what all the cool kids are doing.*
The planet is warming, our news alerts are constant, and there’s so much good television out there to watch. We get it. But if you want to prioritize and nourish your friendships, you have to show up for them. We have a few tips for being present and engaged with your friends:
- Listen and notice things about your friend.
- Take notes! It will help you remember your conversations and allow you points of connection later.
- Remember the names of folks in your friends’ lives. Another thing that can help: Ask to see a picture of the person they’re talking about so it sticks better in your head.
- Sandstrom’s research on the liking gap found that after strangers have conversations, they are liked more than they know. She gives detailed instructions for how to get in on her scavenger hunt.
- Havrilesky rounded up all her “Ask Polly” advice on friendship in this story in The Cut.
- Journalist Rachel Wilkerson Miller gives great advice about being honest when people ask how you’re doing, plus a detailed guide to how to show up for people in small and large ways. Look for her book, The Art of Showing Up, in spring 2020.
- Gillian Sandstrom’s scavenger hunt instructions can be found here. You can even take part in her research!
*This author does NOT guarantee or endorse coolness as a concept and very likely has no idea what proverbial cool kids are up to.
What’s a party without some fun games?! Here’s guest contributor Sakina Kavi with some fabulous game ideas to make your party memorable, for all the right reasons!
One of the biggest problems with modern day parties is the fact that most of the invitees spend their time texting other friends rather than interacting with the people present at the party. Therefore, it is always a great idea to have a few fun games at your parties to act as an icebreaker and keep your guests entertained throughout. Here are some party games that you would love to include in your parties to keep your guests away from their cell phones, at least for a few hours.
1 Wink Murder
I remember playing this game back in my school days, and without a doubt it can still turn out to be a great icebreaker game for your parties. The rules are simple; you make as many chits as many players you have, naming one chit as ‘Murderer,’ and another as ‘Detective,’ while all the rest are ‘Victims.’ Now fold the chits, shuffle them, and let the murder mystery begin! The murderer winks to kill victims, however, he/she cannot kill the detective. After the first two successful murders, the detective has to come up with his verdict of who the killer is. If he guesses right, he wins. If not, the murderer gets away!
2 Continuing Novel
This game is likely to end in gales of laughter all across the room. All you need for this fun-filled, interactive game is a writing pad, a pen and a few friends with crazy imaginations. Start off by giving a fun theme to your friends and ask the first person to write a six-line-long story. Now pass on the paper with just the last line showing and ask the next player to continue the story. Finally read out loud the literary mess that your friends have created. I am sure there’s no way you can stop yourself from laughing out loud by the end of it.
3 Partners in Pen
This game requires a bag full of random objects, a paper, a pen and a bunch of friends. Divide your friends in pairs, asking them to sit back to back. Hand one of the partners a paper and a pen and hand the bag full of random objects to the other partner. Now ask the player with the bag to describe each object without naming it or telling what is it used for while the other partner tries to draw the object. This game usually ends with a bunch of imaginative drawings, and of course a lot of laughs.
4 The Frozen Chocolate Race
All you need for this game are two dice, a dice shaker, a knife, a fork, a large bar of chocolate (frozen overnight) and a few interesting apparels e.g. a cloak, a hat or a mask The rules are simple, every player gets a chance to roll the dice, whoever comes up with a double gets a chance to try and eat the very frozen bar of chocolate using only the fork and knife, while of course wearing the funky accessories. Keep going until the chocolate is gone completely. The player who gets the most bites of the chocolate wins!
One reason why I love this game is because it doesn’t matter if you lose or win, everyone gets a sweet bite of the chocolate. Well only if you are lucky enough to throw a double, that is!
5 Bed Sheet Ping Pong
Now this is one fun game that everyone is likely to enjoy. Divide your friends into pairs, make a pair hold one side of the bed sheet, while another pair holds the opposite side, and drop a ping pong in the middle. Both the teams try to move the ping pong ball by lowering or taking the bed sheet higher. The main goal of the game is to make sure the ping pong drops off the bed sheet from the side of your opponent, and hurrah you are the winner!
6 Who is It?
This is one game that I have already planned to keep as an icebreaker game in the next party that we host at our place. The game is simple. In every round you select one person and blindfold them, while scattering everyone else around the entire room. As soon as the blindfolded player reaches out to a player, they ask «Who is it?» The person being asked the question replies with a funny answer in a made-up voice. In the end the player has to guess the name, and thus swap the roles. If they are unable to guess, the game goes on till they guess correctly.
7 Dancing Chain
This is yet another game that would make your party not only fun but also very memorable. The game starts with forming a circle, and asking a player to do a simple dance step like moving their hips, or punching the air. The move is practised by every single member, and the next person on the player’s left practices another move as the second step of the dance routine. The chain follows till the last player, and in the end the group practices the whole dance routine together! What could be more exciting and healthier than shaking your booty for a fun-filled party game?
Hosting parties can be a tiring job, but it can be just as fun when you have a bunch of joyful friends and a few party games to keep your party from being a boring get-together where people only meet to have food and exchange a few greetings. So incorporate a few games and let the fun begin! Who said party games are only for kids to play?
We all have that one friend who seems to be endlessly talented. They’re chock full of cool life skills and useless party tricks, and thus never fail to be all sorts of impressive. You might catch them moonwalking across a dance floor, lighting a match with just one hand, or mastering the selfie game on Instagram. Their skills and talents add flair to everyone’s lives, and leave everyone wondering how they got to be so cool.
People like this might seem magical, but the good thing is we can all be that talented and interesting, with just a few minutes of practice a day. Beyond impressing others, taking the time to learn a few new skills is fun, and incredibly useful for life in general. Have you ever tried to pick a lock? Or fold your shirts in just five seconds? Skills like these sure can come in handy, even when nobody’s watching. What’s more is that these cool skills to learn don’t have to be just useful. Sometimes they’re just fun to do and keep yourself entertained. Ever solved a Rubik’s cube? Now that’s a skill that will get your friends talking.
Taking a few minutes each day to practice a secret talent can feel good, too. For example, the moment I finally learned how to juggle, I felt like I had unlocked some sort of life achievement. Learning something new is good for your brain, and your self-esteem. And all those moments where you truly impress people? They’ll come later, when you come walking out of the mists like some kind of magician, leaving people swooning in your wake.
1. Learn To Moonwalk
If ever there was a skill you needed in life, it’s moonwalking. Popularized by Michael Jackson, the moonwalk is a dance move favorite. Whip this out at your next party, and everyone will be all sorts of impressed.
2. Sharpen Knives With Flair
The next time you’re cooking for friends and notice the knives are dull, simply pull out a steel (the thing you sharpen a knife against) and remedy the situation like a pro. Not only will a sharp knife make your chopping more efficient, but it’ll make you seem so incredibly capable in the kitchen.
3. Whistle With Your Fingers
If you’ve ever wanted to be that person in a crowd who gets someone’s attention with an ear-piercing whistle, now you can be!
4. Twirl A Pen
Pen twirling is a fun way to pass the time, while impressing everyone around you with your super cool skills. Are you a drummer? Or some kind of magician? Let them wonder.
5. Take Amazing Selfies
OK, so we all know how to hold our camera and snap a selfie. But have you ever wanted to take them to the next level? Get ready to stunt on everyone once you nail the secret to snapping the perfect angles.
6. Tell Better Stories
Just like we all know how to take a selfie, we also already know how to tell a story. But there’s a way to do it better. "Your own stories are the best. If you select one, hone it to the point of sharpness," says Dr. Marlene Caroselli, an author and keynote speaker. "Have at least one that is generic and can fit into any conversation and one that will be germane to the next gathering (business or social) you will attend. Practice the telling, making sure to keep the anecdote succinct." And don’t be afraid to throw in a few funny one-liners.
7. Magically Fold Your Clothes
Folding your shirts can be an agonizing task, if you’re going about it the old-fashioned way. So good thing there’s a cool, magical way to fold shirts in five seconds, that’ll not only impress yourself, but also anyone who happens to walk by.
8. Pick A Lock
Let’s say you’re locked out of your apartment, and all your roommates are standing by, wondering what to do. You can a) wait for the super or the locksmith, or b) pick the lock yourself. It does require a wrench and a paperclip, so unless you have those things, you’ll be SOL. But if you do, you’ll be the hero of the day.
9. Tie A Tie
Whether you wear a tie, or your partner does, learning how to tie one with ease can make you look like a veritable magician. "When a man or woman has the perfect tie knot, it is not only appealing, but also appears mysterious, since not many know the art of tying it," says Dr. Aditi Gupta Jha, of JustDoc. Above, how to tie a windsor knot.
10. Light A Match With Panache
Shock everyone with your ability to light a match with one hand, before strolling off like it was no big deal. All you have to do is bend a match down over the end of a matchbook, then flick it with your finger across the striking pad, and voilà. (Side note: while you’re practicing, please be careful.)
I was once obsessed with learning how to juggle (because hey, fun party trick) so I can say, first hand, that it is actually easier than it looks. In the video above, you can learn the basics in just 10 minutes.
12. Speed Read
Speed reading can come in handy when going over a terms and conditions (you read those, right?), getting through a book quickly for class, or simply checking more novels off your to-read list. All of which are very impressive.
13. Solve A Rubik’s Cube
Rubik’s cubes look like they’re only meant for math whizzes and geniuses. But I promise they’re not impossible to solve — if you understand how they work. Instead of twisting the squares around and hoping for the best, there is a pattern you should be following. Once you get it down, you can solve these things in a few seconds. Check out the video above to get started.
14. Play A Song On Harmonica
The next time you’re out and about, and someone picks up a harmonica (this happens, right?) be that person who can snatch it away and play a quick song. It may take a few days to learn the basic rhythms, but after that you’ll be able to play a few tunes. See above for a great lesson on the basics.
15. Say The Alphabet Backwards
It’s easier than you think to say the alphabet backwards, especially since it fits into the same sing-songy alphabet song you already know.
Go ahead and add these skills to your repertoire, not only for yourself, but for the great amusement of all your friends.