It's totally natural for kids to stress out about getting from where they are now, to having success as adults. Young adults need to know that while they have the ability to achieve a lot, success takes time and they can only achieve it with consistency.
Ten great ways to prepare yourself for success
1. Talk to people that have built interesting careers, Find a mentor
Ask people's their stories and ask them about the journey where they got to where they are today. You'l quickly realize that no ones path is direct and get their advice on how you should think about filling in the blanks.
2. Always be learning
Finish school and pursue college, read books, surround yourself with people smarter than you and learn from them
3. Build your interests, pursue your passions
Be interested in a lot but choose to be an expert in a few things.
4. Think differently
Being an independent thinker helps set kids apart. It's easy to want to do what your friends are doing but establishing yourself as an individual helps set you apart.
5. Start earning money as a teenager
By earning money, kids will start to think about the future they desire and build pathways to achieve it. By working hard, kids get to understand the value of a dollar. It is this basic childhood learning that helped Walt Disney and Warren Buffett build their own financial independence – Walt Disney started selling his drawings to neighbors while Warren Buffett was always doing jobs and newspaper runs, before he bought his first stock in a compay at age 12.
6. Learn to budget and use what you have wisely
Being successful is a little like accounting. You have limited time and money, and you need to use your limited resources in the best possible way for it to provide a return for your wellbeing. It's easier to spend a dollar than earn a dollar, and there's no way to create time, so use it wisely.
7. Become an investor
It was allegedly said by Einstein that “compound growth is the eighth wonder, he who understands it… earns it, he who doesn’t pays it.” Whether Einstein did say that or not, compound growth is the great equalizer. Understanding the power of setting aside money, saving it for short term costs or investing it for the long term, allows people to start making a change, and building oneself up for the future. It's never too soon to start investing, and with Loved you can start with adult even if you're not yet 18.
8. Build your network and help others
As your grow older you realize all those friends from school, the people you met at parties and the families of your friends are your network. People love helping other people, so make sure when you meet people you give a great impression and help others, as you would like to help others in the future.
9. Have fun!
Don't worry too much as that won’t help. Instead be focussed in what you love and don't let yourself be distracted by all the options you could be considering. You have many options as a child, so enjoy exploring the choices you have.
10 Starting today gives you a headstart
Dreaming big is fine, nothing should be to ambitious. Think about the future you want to live. People always overestimate what they can achieve in one-year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten. Think about where you picture yourself in ten years, work towards it starting broadly and narrow your focus us you fill the blanks.
You're thinking about this already, so I know you'll be on the right path. Good luck!
Habits may entail simple acts that, in their totality, have enormous power. Habits are the result of doing things over and over until we no longer have to think about doing them. Our habits can be either positive or negative, helping us to reach our goals or holding us back. A valuable life skill you can teach your teen is how to develop positive habits while getting rid of bad ones.
First, your teen should understand that habits can be changed. Developing good habits can take time, but they can be used as tools to achieve success. Looking for the positive in people, learning to save money, creating schedules and focusing on schoolwork are all examples of positive habits your teen could develop.
SUCCESS for Teens offers some great tips on developing good habits. With each tip, the book quotes actual teens who share how they implemented the tips in their own lives and the benefits they experienced.
Develop a Schedule
One of the best ways to achieve a goal is to create a detailedplan on how to get there. A teenager named Desiree describeshow she used a schedule to develop a habit for doing schoolwork.She says having a schedule helps you get into the routineof challenging your mind. Once theschedule is laid out, it’s much easier tokeep on track. This habit can be appliedin nearly every aspect of your teen’s life.
Do Things Ahead of Time
Octavia Fugerson learned how to do things ahead of time and seek opportunities instead of waiting around for good things to happen. She took control of her situation and developed a habit that helped her focus on schoolwork.
“I tried to do my schoolwork ahead of time,” she says. “I’d make sure I’d do it to retain the information, not just to pass. If I was struggling in class, I’d let the teacher know if I was having a really hard time with it. I’d try to get some extra help. I would go online and look for tutors.”
Don’t Get Down on Yourself
Trying to develop new habits and getting rid of bad habits willinvolve some setbacks. But it’s important not to give up. It maytake daily steps and choices to develop a new positive habit. RalfTarrant, 18, tells how he had to learn to save money. He usedto spend every dollar he got, and often borrowed money frompeople. He soon realized that he’d be in trouble if he kept this up.So, he developed a habit of putting away a portion of any moneyhe got. He says he still bought things, but cutting back a littlemade a huge difference over time.
Separate Needs from Wants
Jeremiah Spears learned how to get his spending under control when his friend Lisa suggested he use a chart to separate his wants, needs and gotta-haves. “Lisa said it’s important to get what you need first and let the rest come later, so I began to make a chart every time I went shopping,” Jeremiah says.
Sometimes it’s not enough to give up a bad habit. Sometimes in order to do that, you need to replace the bad habit with a good one. Over time, the good habit becomes stronger than the bad one and eventually replaces it completely. Make sure your teen understands the power of creating good habits and that it takes time for actions to turn into a habit. It won’t happen overnight, but learning how to create good habits can serve your teen for the rest of his life.
In many ways, American teens have never had it tougher. Perhaps a surprising statement, given the United States’ obvious affluence compared to the rest of the world. If you’re a parent today, you know what I mean. Social pressures are more pervasive and destructive than ever before in American history. Parents often feel helpless to equip their teens with the tools to navigate – and steer clear – of harmful relationships, attitudes and behaviors.
Ideally, the process of equipping our kids to live and thrive in an often Christian-hostile world begins as soon as they are born. In fact, parents are the single most important developmental influence in a child’s life, apart from the Holy Spirit himself. But even if time has slipped away, and your teenager seems out of reach, you can begin to lay building blocks to help your teen grow to maturity in Christ and make a positive impact on his or her world. Love, commitment, self-discipline, perseverance and a lot of prayer are required, but you can do it.
Assisting your teen in forging a strong, positive identity is one way to help her form convictions based on truth, and then stand firm in them regardless of what everyone else does.
As parents, we can build our teen’s identity by using a brick mason’s approach. Masonry is an art that requires intense study of the project’s design before setting the first brick in place. The job is messy, and it requires hands-on application and commitment.
Parental brick-layers labor alongside our teens as they experience the joy of discovering their significance in Christ and their identity. Teens today are overscheduled and often lack the skills to communicate or set boundaries. They need our help to decide which bricks fit and which ones don’t.
The challenge? To encourage them to be who God made them to be, rather than who we want them to be.
Brick-by-brick, we can make a difference for our teens and in their world.
Brick #1: Encourage Self Discovery
My husband Derek shared a devotion about integrity with our 14-year-old son Justin and his friend Tim* (name changed). Derek asked them, “How committed are you to integrity?”
“I’m not that committed. But I want to be,” Tim answered.
Derek said, “Telling the truth is integrity. Thanks for being honest.”
“I get in trouble with certain friends,” Tim said. “The pressure to be liked affects me.”
“Until you decide who you are,” Derek told Tim, “you will be like a chameleon, blending in to whatever situation or whoever you are with.”
Derek mentioned a former game show and said, “Will the real Tim please stand up? Until you figure out who the God-designed Tim is, you will struggle with your friends.”
Brick #2: Acknowledge Natural Abilities
Teens yearn for our support and relationship. It’s important to affirm their natural abilities. Be their cheerleader. Attend activities even if they say, “It’s no biggie.”
Encourage athletes to stay involved in sports throughout high school. Challenge the artsy to try a new instrument, audition for a play, take a watercolor class or voice lessons. If they love to argue, consider the debate team. Talk about career choices that use their talents. For example, math skills are priceless for computer software engineers.
Brick #3: Create a Family Motto
When my friend Beth’s three teens were growing up, their family motto was “We aren’t quitters.” Anytime her son or daughters wanted to stop short of a commitment, they heard this phrase. Eventually Beth’s children believed, “I belong to a non-quitting family.”
By creating a tagline, our family identity is established. Then when difficulties arise, our motto serves as a stake in the ground declaring who we are as individuals — and as family.
Brick #4: Value Uniqueness
Physically and emotionally, teens’ lives constantly change. They can feel overscheduled, unknown, abandoned, or even betrayed. Adolescents still want a unique place in our home. They need to know they belong and that they matter.
Encourage busy teens to enjoy down time, which strengthens their creativity and problem-solving skills. Inform your son his sense of humor is missed when he’s gone. Tell your daughter you notice her thankful heart.
Brick #5: Highlight Spiritual Gifts
Ever since our son Justin was little, he has shown kindness to kids that are different. As a high school freshman, he continues to tap the heart of the lonely.
Justin’s gym teacher asked the students to share who their best friend was and why. Both a popular and unpopular guy picked Justin. Their reasons: “He shows interest in me. He makes me laugh. He sits by me. He sticks up for me.”
We affirmed Justin for using his gift of mercy with his friends.
Study verses about spiritual gifts with your teens: Romans 12:3-8; 1 Corinthians 12:1-31; 1 Corinthians 14:1-40; Ephesians 4:7-16; and 1 Peter 4:7-11.
Brick #6: Reinforce Spiritual Identity
No brick is more foundational than this one. When teens understand their worth in Christ, they can reject negative thinking that peers, insecurities and problems hurl on them. Just because teens fail — which they will — doesn’t mean they are a failure.
Teens develop confidence when they believe they are loved by God — no matter what. This inner strength will carry them through trials and peer pressure. As they search for significance, our teens can influence their peers to do the same.
Google “Who I am in Christ.” Print and review with your son or daughter. If someone tries to embarrass them about a mistake, say, “There is no condemnation for those in Christ” (Romans 8:1). Don’t criticize them when they are knocked down. Instead extend your hand and your heart.
Construct A Strong Identity Wall
Building our teens’ identity is a long process. The Great Wall of China took years of extensive labor before it fended off enemies. Our teens live in a hostile culture too. They need a wall of protection. As parental masons, we can help them stand up under fire.
Parents, teachers, and others. The people in our lives can affect how we feel about ourselves. When they focus on what’s good about us, we feel good about ourselves. When they are patient when we make mistakes, we learn to accept ourselves. When we have friends and get along, we feel liked.
But if adults scold more than they praise, it’s hard to feel good about yourself. Bullying and mean teasing by siblings or peers can hurt self-esteem, too. Harsh words can stick, and become part of how you think about yourself. Luckily, it doesn’t have to stay that way.
The voice in your own head. The things you say to yourself play a big part in how you feel about yourself. Thinking, “I’m such a loser” or “I’ll never make friends,” hurts your self-esteem.
There are other ways to think about the same things. “I didn’t win this time — but maybe next time.” “Maybe I can make some friends.” That voice is more hopeful. It helps you feel OK. And it could turn out to be true.
Sometimes, the voice in our head is based on harsh words others have said. Or on bad times we have faced. Sometimes, the voice is just us being hard on ourselves. But we can change the voice in our own head. We can learn to think better of ourselves.
Learning to do things. We feel good when we learn to read, add, draw, or build. Play a sport, play music, write an essay, ride a bike. Set the table, wash the car. Help a friend, walk the dog. Each thing you learn and do is a chance to feel good about yourself. Step back and look what you can do. Let yourself feel happy with it.
But sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves. We don’t accept that what we do is good enough. If we think, “It’s not really any good,” “It’s not perfect,” or “I can’t do it well enough,” we miss the chance to build self-esteem.
What If My Self-Esteem Is Low?
You can do things to feel better about yourself. It’s never too late. Here are some tips to raise your self-esteem:
Be with people who treat you well. Some people act in ways that tear you down. Others lift you up by what they say and do. Learn to tell the difference. Choose friends who help you feel OK about yourself. Find people you can be yourself with. Be that type of friend for others.
Say helpful things to yourself. Tune in to the voice in your head. Is it too critical? Are you too hard on yourself? For a few days, write down some of the things you say to yourself. Look over your list. Are these things you’d say to a good friend? If not, rewrite them in a way that’s true, fair, and kind. Read your new phrases often. Do it until it’s more of a habit to think that way.
Accept what’s not perfect. It’s always good to do the best you can. But when you think you need to be perfect, you can’t feel good about anything less. Accept your best. Let yourself feel good about that. Ask for help if you can’t get past a need to be perfect.
Set goals and work toward them. If you want to feel good about yourself, do things that are good for you. Maybe you want to eat a healthier diet, get more fit, or study better. Make a goal. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan. Track your progress. Be proud of what you’ve done so far. Say to yourself, “I’ve been following my plan to work out every day for 45 minutes. I feel good about it. I know I can keep it up.”
Focus on what goes well. Are you so used to talking about problems that they’re all you see? It’s easy to get caught up in what’s wrong. But unless you balance it with what’s good, it just makes you feel bad. Next time, catch yourself when you complain about yourself or your day. Find something that went well instead.
Give and help. Giving is one the best ways to build self-esteem. Tutor a classmate, help clean up your neighborhood, walk for a good cause. Help out at home or at school. Make it a habit to be kind and fair. Do things that make you proud of the kind of person you are. When you do things that make a difference (even a small one) your self-esteem will grow.
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Being a towering 5 feet 10 inches as a sixth-grader was not easy for my daughter Mariah. Everyone assumed she would be great in sports, especially as she continued to grow during her teen years. “Do you play basketball?” was a question she heard repeatedly. Born into an athletic family, Mariah started both basketball and softball at a young age, but she never seemed to develop a passion for either sport. She had the “goods,” but lacked the interest. As a parent I saw her potential and wondered if this wasn’t her area or if she merely wasn’t motivated.
I’ve heard it said that it’s normal for teens to be unmotivated. Although that attitude may be “normal,” it’s not always what parents want for their kids. We want to see our kids flourish as they make the most of the fleeting teen years. We want them to be successful. But we first need to evaluate what success looks like for our teens.
What is success
Is success defined by a scholarship to our son’s or daughter’s favorite college? Possibly. But in God’s eyes, success often goes beyond accomplishments. Our kids find success when they use and enjoy their God-given gifts and talents to the best of their ability and for God’s purposes. Our teens need to understand that the Lord’s blessing is found in being faithful with what they have been given, be it much or be it little in the world’s estimation.
So how do we motivate our teens to flourish and succeed? The root of motivation lies in passion. What is your child passionate about? When my son, Zach, was in sixth grade, I signed him up to play rugby. My purpose was simply to keep him active and in shape for football. What I couldn’t predict was the fact that rugby would become his passion.
Zach loved the positive coaching and brotherhood found with his rugby team. The constant movement and interaction among the players met his need to release those high testosterone levels. Was this what we had expected or even wanted? Not really. Zach’s dad, granddad and great-granddad were all football players. But Zach is not. He has found his passion and plays it out on the field as a rugger.
Encourage their passion
Like my son, maybe your child is showing signs that his interests are different than yours. Ask yourself, What does my teen get excited about? Is it video games? Maybe he has a desire for adventure and simply needs you to show him that real adventure can be found in activities such as rock climbing, whitewater rafting and snowboarding. Or consider a science or math olympiad to challenge his mind. When we connect a kid’s passion to his activities, we begin to see self-motivation develop.
Our next goal as parents is to help our teens see how their passions can be used for a greater purpose. For example, I could ask my son, “Have you ever considered teaching rugby to younger students?” When we encourage our teens to use their skills to help others, they can see beyond themselves to experience the joy that comes from giving.
When they experience success
Teens often feel unsure of themselves and of their future. Those feelings of uncertainty can produce fear. By helping our teens experience success, their fear is often alleviated. They gain a sense of confidence in understanding that success in one area can encourage success elsewhere.
From this, they may see that hard work and persistence pay off. In addition to letting them experience small successes in their own lives, we can communicate this concept to our kids by sharing our own stories of success. When their success is partnered with words of acceptance, approval and hope from a parent, our teens acquire the strength and courage to keep heading in the right direction.
As Mariah’s desire to play sports waned, she found a passion for music. She specifically asked to participate in a traveling choir, as well as take guitar, piano and voice lessons — and we paid attention. We took our cues from what excited her and began to invest in her passions. Last summer, Mariah traveled to Italy, and at just 15 years old, she sang in cathedrals and churches, including the Vatican.
With a son now thriving on the rugby field and a daughter who has found her voice, we’re privileged to watch as their self-esteem and confidence soar. Motivation has become a natural result of finding their passions, and we’re convinced that teens flourish most when they find and enjoy their God-given gifts and talents for His purposes.
Wayne's background in life coaching along with his work helping organizations to build family-friendly policies, gives him a unique perspective on fathering.
Adah Chung is a fact checker, writer, researcher, and occupational therapist.
Setting and achieving goals is an essential skill to succeed in life. Having specific targets for what we want to accomplish gives us as humans hope and direction in a life that can easily become simply moving from one day to the next.
As fathers, one of our key missions in our parenting is to help teach our children life skills that will matter to them, and helping kids learn to set and achieve goals is one of those key roles of fathers.
Why Goal Setting for Children
Famous entrepreneur J.C. Penney taught about the importance of goals. “Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I’ll give you a stock clerk.”
Fathers might think teaching their children about goals is simply trying to give them adult skills at too young an age. There will be plenty of time for goal setting later, they think. Let's just let kids be kids.
This may have been true at one point in time, but kids today seem to want to achieve, to compete effectively with their peers, and to strive to accomplish big things.
Helping kids learn about setting goals and the basic skills needed to achieve (including communication, managing money, and getting along with others) is an important task for parents—even if their children are still young.
How Young Should We Start with Goals?
Consider the fact that most parents are helping kids with goals in the most basic sense at a very early age. For example, we will put a toy just out of reach of a baby laying on a blanket to motivate them to roll over.
We get them to hold our fingers as they take early steps, letting go to help them do it on their own, and then praise every effort toward walking, even when they fall.
Rolling over, crawling, walking, and talking all involve the basics of goal setting.
As to more advanced goals like saving money for a purpose, developing sports-related skills like shooting a basketball or passing a soccer ball effectively, kids can start during their preschool years with these kinds of goals.
As the kids get into school, goals like grades, making sports teams, or getting high video-game scores can come more into play. Figuring out how to set and achieve goals at these levels will prepare them for the bigger ones like getting a summer job, saving for college and being able to play a difficult piece at their piano recital.
Goal Setting Formula for Kids
When teaching our kids how to set and achieve goals, we need to get them involved in understanding and practicing a simple formula. The following steps have served many parents well in working with their kids on setting their goals.
Choose an Area for Improvement
We can start our kids with identifying some of their key roles in life. Starting with roles is the best way to look at the various aspects of their lives where they might feel a need to improve.
Helping your kids make a list of their roles is an important place to start with goal setting. For example, a 10-year-old child’s roles might include child, sibling, friend, student, team member, musician, dancer, or runner. Roles might be a bit different for a teenager—teens might add things like driver, babysitter, athlete, or girlfriend/boyfriend.
Pick an Achievable Goal
If a preteen comes up with a goal of playing football in the NFL, a father should help them find a more realistic goal like running for a specific number of yards in a season or having a number of open tackles in every game.
Getting into Harvard Medical School might be a great dream for a teenager, but focusing on getting good grades in science classes and volunteering for a certain number of hours at a community health care clinic might be better. Help them see how their goals connect to their dreams.
Develop a Plan to Achieve
Once your child has developed a realistic goal in one of her goal areas, then you can help them set up a plan. Make a list of the steps to achieve the goal.
For example, if the goal is to volunteer at a community medical clinic, the steps of the plan could include:
- Making a list of the clinics nearby
- Getting the names and contact information for the clinic administrators
- Checking the clinic websites or other sources for volunteer opportunities
- Contacting clinic administrators
- Filling out applications
- Being a consistent and reliable volunteer when selected
Kids understand metrics—after all, test scores and grades are metrics. Help them identify some measurements that they can use to see how well they are achieving their goals.
For the football player, counting the number of tackles in each game would be a good metric. For a child saving money for a big purchase, they can make a chart that shows their savings progress. Having regular measures can help the child stay on track with their goals.
Make Course Corrections
A child may set up a goal that seemed achievable at the time, but circumstances may change. Maybe the football player got moved from defense to offense and the goal of open field tackles is no longer realistic.
Goals may need to morph to adjust to changing circumstances. Help your child see the need to make adjustments when things change.
Get the Whole Family Involved
Let each of the children share their goals and plans in a family night or other appropriate setting. Email grandparents and others about their goals.
The more public the goal is, the more motivated a child can be. They can get encouragement from a broader range of people as they move toward their goals.
When a goal is achieved, make a big deal about it. Go spend some quality time with your child – like go out to dinner or to the latest Star Wars epic. Celebrating a child’s accomplishments can help them feel that they have done something worthwhile.
One family worked with their kids each summer to set goals for the number of pages they would read while school was out. At the end of the summer, each kid that achieved his or her goal got a trophy to memorialize the achievement.
Whatever our approach, teaching our children the essential life skill of setting and achieving goals is one of a parent’s most critical roles. These ideas can help any dad launch his children into achievement and helping them accomplish what they want most in their lives.
But as the title of a January 9, 2013 article in The Atlantic warns, “There’s More to Life than Being Happy.” The writer opens her editorial with a powerful quote from Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, who says, “It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness,” to communicate that people who have meaning in their lives are the most resilient, and are able to rise above even the most horrible situations.
The Importance of Meaning
High school English teacher David McCullough Jr., whose 2012 high school graduation address went viral on YouTube, provides contemporary references for the importance of making your life meaningful, and by default, happy. In his keynote speech he explains, “The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer… The fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.” This was an incredibly inspiring message for his peers.
Wellesley College Professor of Psychology Julie Norem defines happiness as a fleeting emotional state and cautions about raising expectations that it can be a steady one. “No one should expect to be happy all the time because our emotional networks, lives, and reality don’t work that way.” On top of Norem’s perspective, our nation’s obsession with happiness distorts our view of others’ states of happiness.
The popular adage, “The grass is always greener on the other side” rings all the more true since we typically show the world our best foot forward in our Facebook and other social media posts. Nonetheless, in the TIME Magazine 2013 cover story titled “The Pursuit of Happiness,” 76% of Americans answered “YES” to the 2013 question, “Do you believe that on their social media profiles, other people make themselves look happier, more attractive, and more successful than they really are?” We may have each other’s numbers, but still it’s hard not to compare and come up short.
To help your child achieve fulfillment, and therefore happiness, focus them on pursuits that are meaningful to them and to your family. Encourage them to engage in activities that they relish, whether it’s art, athletics, reading, cooking; encourage them to participate in community service, whether it’s an environmental, medical, social, or educational cause; encourage them to be a member of whatever communities you value; encourage them to follow David McCullough’s advice, “Dream big. Work hard. Think for yourself.”How
Liz Suneby is the author of books for children and teens, including “The Mitzvah Project Book: Making Mitzvah Part of Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah” and “Your Life”, published by Jewish Lights, and the Children’s Choice award-winning “See What You Can Be: Explore Careers That Could Be For You.”
Andrea Rice is an award-winning journalist and a freelance writer, editor, and fact checker specializing in health and wellness.
JGI/Jamie Grill / Getty Images
Learning how to set goals is an important life skill for teens. Teens who have goals are less likely to wander aimlessly through life. Instead, they’ll be motivated to work hard to reach their greatest potential. Teenage goals don’t necessarily have to be life-altering. Instead, a goal could be as simple as saving up enough money to purchase a prom dress or getting a B in Geometry.
Working toward a goal can help your teen learn about themself. And it can help them create bigger goals for themself in the future. Goals require teens to think about what they want to accomplish. Then, in order to be successful, they have to identify the steps they need to take to reach those goals.
How Parents Can Help
Young children require a lot of support from grownups to help them reach their goals. They can't purchase their own musical instrument and they can't drive themselves to basketball practice.
Teenagers, compared with younger children, have many more skills and resources, so they should require less support from you to reach their goals, as long as they are familiar with the goal-setting process.
The teenage years are a great time to teach goal-setting strategies. Regardless of whether they are successful at achieving their goal, they can learn valuable life lessons along the way. Mistakes, failure, and setbacks can be wonderful teachers.
One of the keys to setting and reaching your goals is understanding the steps needed to achieve it. Writing it down is the best way to help your teen organize their thoughts and develop a plan.
Here are the steps you can teach your teen to follow so they can set healthy goals:
- Identify the goal and write it down. Create a goal that your teen has control over. For example, your teen can’t control whether they becomes the fastest runner in the whole school. But they can work on shaving 30 seconds off their mile run.
- List the tasks needed to obtain the goal. Think about each step that will get them closer to their goal. If your teen’s goal is to buy a car, they’ll need a job. And in order to get a job, they’ll need to fill out job applications.
- Start working on the tasks. Help your teen identify when they will get started on their goal. Write it down on the calendar. And decide how often they’ll do it. For example, they may say, “I’ll start going to the gym next Monday and I’ll work out for 30 minutes three days per week.” Get specific.
- Add to the tasks as needed. Even the best-formed plan can meet the unexpected. You may think that you helped your teen think of everything, but be prepared to make changes and add to their list of tasks if something new comes up.
- Check off the tasks as they are completed. Few things are more satisfying than looking back at a list of things to do and notice the progress that’s already been made.
- When all of the tasks are complete, determine if the goal has been met. If so, help your teen create their next goal. If not, revise the goal.
Each time your teen finishes a goal, talk about it. Review the steps they took to accomplish it and review how they overcame obstacles or setbacks along the way. Discuss the lessons they learned.
Then, help them set new goals for themself. It's important for your teen to always have a goal that they're working toward so they can constantly challenge themself to become better.
Whether they want to get healthier, become happier, or do better in school, help them identify realistic goals that will help them reach their greatest potential.
Does size really matter? When having sex, how can men know whether the women reach organism or not? In other word, how can men know whether the women receive orgasm during sex? Is it physical appearance or emotion that allow men to identify whether the women reach orgasm?
These are a bunch of really good questions that boil down to one question we get a lot around here: how do I know if I’m good at sex?
It’s a pretty common myth that you can always tell whether someone’s had an orgasm . But really, there’s no way to tell — the only way to know for sure is to ask.
All people experience orgasms in different ways, and they can feel different at different times. So there’s no reason to feel freaked out about asking if your partner had an orgasm — asking shows that you care about making your partner feel good, which is super important when it comes to having good sex. Communicating about sex — before, during, and after — helps both of you understand what the other one likes and doesn’t like, which can make sex better and strengthen your relationship.
Now let’s talk size. The size of someone’s penis has very little to do with whether anyone has an orgasm. Orgasms can happen through different kinds of sexual stimulation, both inside and outside of your body. For example, a lot of people experience orgasms through stimulating their clitorises rather than penetrating their vaginas. Some people can’t reach orgasm through vaginal sex at all. So ask your partner what feels good. And while you’re at it, let them know what feels good to you, too.