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How long do guys wait to text after first date

Relationship experts have answered the age-old question of when you should reach out.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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For many people, there is nothing more nerve-wracking than a first date. But even if the date goes well, the dreaded questions that come up after the date may be even worse. Did you talk too much? Did they laugh at your jokes? And the inevitable: How long should you wait to text them? You may be worried that you’re being held down by the arbitrary “three-day rule,” but fortunately, it may turn out you’re doing more worrying than necessary. According to experts, the best rule of thumb is that you should text someone within 24 hours after a first date. Read on to find out why one day is the perfect amount of time, and for more relationship advice, discover The One Pick-Up Line That Works Every Time, Research Shows.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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“When it comes to texting after a first date, you should text no later than the next day to say you had a great time, or to thank them for their time,” says Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. “Most people will text within a few hours of arriving home and thank their date.”

Andrea McGinty, a digital dating coach and founder of 33 Thousand Dates, says that “texting a few hours after the date shows you appreciate the person’s time, and you enjoy their company.” And the research backs this up: According to McGinty, out of 752 single men surveyed by 33 Thousand Dates, 84 percent said they like hearing from a woman the same day as the first date. And if you’re wondering about your date, check out these Undeniable Signs a First Date Went Well.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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According to Trombetti, the 24-hour timeline is just when it comes to sending “the most basic thank you text.” If you’re looking to text about a second date or just to flirt, you can wait as many as three to five days after your first date. And before you go on any first date, make sure you avoid The Worst Thing You Can Do When Introducing Yourself.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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McGinty says that 95 percent of the time, texting a few hours after a first date is the most appropriate course of action. However, there could be some instances where you may want to wait.

“The only circumstance where you wouldn’t want to text soon after would be if they tell you something personal is happening later that day, and even then, you can incorporate this into your message,” she says. And for useful information delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our daily newsletter.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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You might not always be the first one to text after a first date. And while this may seem like it takes the pressure off of you, your response time is also important if you are interested in pursuing things further with this person.

“Not responding to texts is the quickest way to sink a new relationship before it even starts,” Trombetti says. “If someone texts you, answering is a must during the same day you received the text. If you don’t, your date will think you aren’t interested in them.” And to make sure you’re keeping the conversation going, find out which One Question You Always Ask Can Kill a Conversation, Experts Say.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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The struggle is real. What to text, when to text, how to seem normal but funny but also yourself. Who texts first, and what to say, how long to wait? A hundred questions race through your head, and yo

The struggle is real. What to text, when to text, how to seem normal but funny but also yourself. Who texts first, and what to say, how long to wait? A hundred questions race through your head, and you want to get it right.

Each person is different, and likes to date differently, but until you both figure each other out a little more, to ensure a smooth first few dates it’s probably best to stick to the universal dating rule book. Dating is all about putting your best foot forward, not just for him, but for yourself too. It seems like there’s an endless list of of do’s and dont’s but these are the ‘lucky 13’ to avoid. You can’t control what others do, but you can control what you do.

13 Being the first one to text

The golden rule is to wait for him to text first. Sure, you’re a modern woman who knows what she wants and is going to go get it. Stop. While you do live in the modern world, there is still a dating etiquette to follow. Modern or traditional, if a guy likes you enough to follow up, he will follow up with text or a call after the date. Sit tight, everything happens for a reason.

12 “Thank you, I had such a great night”

It’s wonderful that you had fun! This is generally accepted as a polite thing to say to express your appreciation for a lovely time. It’s fine to say this a few texts in after you’ve started texting, but don’t bust it out straight away. It’s comes off as a little too robotic. Consider going for something unexpected, or reference an in-joke you both shared on the date. Guys like good surprises too!

11 Anything about your ex

There’s a time and place for this, and the first text is not it. If your relationship develops enough, then you will both have this conversation as par for the course. Focus on the positives, and focus on your time together. After all, you’re not going out with your ex, you’re going out with someone brand spanking new and exciting! Your ex doesn’t belong here.

10 Emoji overload!

While it’s great to develop a solid friendship at the start of any relationship, he isn’t one of the girls. Overwhelming him with emojis, while it displays your fun and light-hearted side, might give him the wrong idea about your intentions and your hopes for the future of a possible relationship. It may feel like you’re being fun, but he’ll see it as childish. There’s definitely a time and a place for emojis, and it’s not while you’re getting to know someone.

9 Asking for friend request

You may feel a strong connection already, but there is such a thing as too soon! Slow down, you’ve only just been on a first date. If you are both destined to be together, then why the rush? There is plenty of time for this. Not only would you learn the online version instead of the real version, but diving in the social deep end might scare him away. Too much too soon.

8 “When will I see you again?”

To you, pushing a second date might seem like you’re showing him that you’re really interested. However, that interest should be shown during the date whether it’s with a kiss, or casually agreeing to see each other again. Again, if he wants to see you for a second date he will instigate. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket, and make him work for it a little. Guys love the chase!

7 “I thought we liked each other. Can we meet for coffee? I want to know what happened”

Dating is confusing, and ghosting is even worse. While people can different over text to how they are in person, this situation is pretty cut and dry. Nip this problem in the bud by remembering the “if a guy likes you enough, he will follow up with you” rule. Don’t keep nagging him to explain himself, it will drive you crazy, and drive him even further away. Not everyone always gets closure in the dating world, so it’s best to re-focus and learn to let it go.

6 “Looking forward to many awesome nights hanging out”

The key word here that will get you into trouble is “many”. Some guys are just a great catch, but you don’t want to scare him away! Looking keen, and planning your future together are two different things. The poor guy will be wondering if you’ve already made a wedding scrapbook for the both of you. Take it one step at a time, you still both need to process the first date, and it’s too soon to commit to anything at this point. It was a first date, not an engagement party.

5 “I really want to work this out with you”

What could there possibly be to work out at this stage? All nervous and awkward, you’ve both only just been on one date together. This should be the fun honeymoon stage of getting to know each other. If you feel like you both had a great time, then that’s a good sign. If you feel like you already need to work on issues together, then perhaps it’s time to honestly re-evaluate not only how the date went, but how compatible you both really are. Trust your instincts. Having issues to work on isn’t what makes you a real couple.

Navigating the dating world is difficult, no doubt. You want to take control, have courage to make a move, but you don’t know what to say. A simple “hi” seems like a harmless opening line, but it actually gives off the vibe of being dull, generic, and even lazy! Two things you most certainly are not.Think about if the situation were reversed and he sent you this instead, would you feel special? Neither would he.

3 Sexy selfie

Nope. Nope. Nope. This will not only give off the wrong impression, but successful relationships are based of far sturdier stuff than sex. This is not a classy way to get attention. Remember that you’re trying to learn about each other as people, you’re finding common ground to see if you’re both compatible. Believe it or not, not every guy is looking just to be able to sow his seed, and this will give out some seriously mixed signals which creates communication problems.

2 “I see you”

This is not ‘fate giving you a sign from the universe’, it’s just plain creepy. Even if you do see him across the street on a Sunday morning, do not venture into the stalker territory. It might seem cute to you, but at this point on a romantic level, you’re still practically strangers. You wouldn’t want it to happen to you while you’re out and about minding your own business. Save this for when you develop a more intimate rapport.

1 The double text

He didn’t respond to your text? Maybe his phone died, or your text didn’t go through, or his phone didn’t buzz and he missed your text? Better send that text again! No, the text went through. If he wants to talk to you, he will. You don’t want to seem desperate or needy, that’s not attractive. Don’t begin to tumble down the rabbit hole of paranoia, there is nothing healthy along that path.

As soon as I’m in the Uber or walking home, I send a thank you note and tell her my intentions that I want to see her again if she’d like.

Then I leave the ball in her court. If she never texts or calls me back, or doesn’t respond to it and just randomly texts me a few weeks later because she’s bored I have my answer.

Usually the next day or maybe the same night if it's just grabbing lunch or something early-on. My philosophy is: if they'd lose interested over text frequency, it's not worth a relationship.

Agree, I say it really depends on the woman and how the date went.

My best advice for guys is to not to worry about when to send a text or whatever. The more you think about that stuff the more stress you'll have.

If someone's breaking point is that I texted too soon then pursuing anything further wouldn't be worth it

Regardless of how the date went, next day is pretty standard. No more than 2 days.

If you want another date, say that you had a great time and would like to go out again soon. That's it.

If you weren't feeling a connection, then say that you had a good time, but didn't feel the spark that you're looking for.

Don't ghost your date. It's a shite thing to do, and you want to be a better person than that.

Whenever you feel like you would like to. No need to play silly games.

If someone didn't text me (or call) by the next day, I'm assuming they don't care to see me again.

I would always text later that night something like "that was a lot of fun" or "great seeing you we should do it again sometime" then wait a day or so

If the date is going well and you want to see the person again, you should say "should we do this again?".

Next day at the latest.

"Holy shit that was amazing! Move your elbow, K?"

Within 24 hrs. I don't play games and I go after what I want.

I text when I feel like it

How’d the date go?

pretty well i’d say

The next day or the day after that. If it’s someone I like I’d ask how they’re doing or how their day was before trying to set up another date

If you want to text, text.

3 minutes and 50 seconds.

Next day. I don’t play that waiting game. You like me or nah?

Day after I'm usually more calm

Not a man, and not particularly interested in texting as a rule either. However in the beginning, if things went well, I enjoy a quick text shortly after we've parted ways. "Glad you made it home safe. I had a great time, would you like to do it again?" Shows interest beyond that obligatory "hope you're not dead on the side of the road" message that doesn't mean much. It's been my experience that those are the men open to and actually interested in pursuing a real connection. Don't overthink it. If you're thinking about messaging, send the message. It takes seconds to read and respond to a message. It's not a bother unless you're blowing up her phone with no response.

Like it or hate it, texting is a huge part of relationships nowadays. You can try to resist it if you want but there’s really no point. That being said, it’s important to realize that men and women have a completely different approach to texting—here’s how guys view it.

We keep it short and sweet.
The first thing all women need to know is that most guys don’t like texting. Women tend to love it but we don’t really feel the same, which is why we like to keep our texts short and to the point. For us, it just doesn’t make sense to take up large quantities of time typing out long, drawn-out messages. This means you can’t always get a read on a guy if his texts to you are brief. He may like you even if he’s curt. Of course, if you have a guy texting you in paragraphs, it’s a great sign that he likes you because he thinks you’re worth taking the time to do something he doesn’t really love.

We’re not marathon men.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
In addition to keeping texts short, most men hate marathon texting sessions. We’re usually busy and don’t want to be texting back and forth non-stop all day long. Again, you shouldn’t take this personally. If a guy likes you, he may put up with it, but texting marathons can be overkill from a guy’s perspective, eventually causing the conversation to drag, which doesn’t help either party.

The filter goes away when we like you.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
Most guys tend to be careful and calculating when we text. However, if a dude genuinely likes you, the filter is likely to be put on the shelf. He’ll stop trying to play games and start being honest with you. If his texts sound unusual and stupid, consider the possibility that he’s really smitten with you and has removed his texting filter.

The longer the wait, the better (sometimes).
How long do guys wait to text after first date
OK, so nobody likes waiting a long time for someone to respond to a text. However, sometimes it’s a good sign if a guy takes his time responding. For guys that routinely text with a large number of girls, they’ll have a routine and will text girls the same old things time after time. If you find yourself waiting for him to return a text, it could mean he’s broken off from his routine and is thinking about the best way to respond. This indicates that he likes you and cares about what he’s saying to you.

More can be better (for us).
How long do guys wait to text after first date
As mentioned, most guys aren’t frequent texters. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. If a guy is always the one who texts you first and doesn’t seem to have a problem sending you lots of messages, there’s a good chance he’s got it bad for you.

We hate emojis.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
We get it, you ladies love emojis. Most of us don’t. Quite frankly, there are too many emojis and what they mean is usually confusing. We just don’t have time to decipher what they mean, nor do we care to. Ladies, please try to limit your emojis to smiley faces unless a guy starts using emojis first.

We’d prefer you to take it easy on abbreviations.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
Much like emojis, texting abbreviations should be kept at a minimum. For a lot of guys, they’re like a foreign language that’s difficult to learn. If you go overboard with the abbreviations, guys will have no idea what you’re trying to say and many of us will lose interest rather than trying to decipher the meaning of your texts. Deep down, most guys are part caveman, so sometimes you have to dumb it down for us and keep things as simple as possible.

Please text us first.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
If you exchange numbers with a guy, please be the first to text us. Again, guys hate texting so it’s usually up to you to send the first text. Most guys will be flattered and see it as confirmation that you like us. Once we have that confirmation, it’s a lot easier for us to let our guard down and admit that we like you as well.

We keep the questions coming if we like you.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
If you’re unsure if a guy you’re texting is into you or not, keep track of how many questions he’s asked you. When we like you, we’ll always try to keep the text convo going by asking you personal questions. It may become a little annoying after a while, but I assure you it’s a genuine sign that a guy likes you.

Texting shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
How long do guys wait to text after first date
I will reiterate that men don’t take texting as seriously as women. Those are just the facts of life. Guys don’t understand that you might get upset if we didn’t text you enough on a certain day. Even if we like you, we’re not going to be perfect texters. More importantly, our texting habits shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. Please let our actions speak louder than texts.

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I’m embarrassed to admit that I had no idea how long to wait to text after a first date until a few months ago. Before then, I’d only ever been on dates with people I was already on friendly terms with, so it felt natural to keep the text conversation going soon after the date. It wasn’t something I even thought about. But about 30 minutes after getting home from my first date with a practical stranger — we matched on Tinder a few days before our date — I wondered what came next.

Admittedly, I had a really great time. He was funny and interesting (although noticeably shy, which explains how little we texted leading up to the date), so I wasn’t opposed to seeing him again.

"Should I text him to say I had fun?" I thought. "Is it too soon? Is that weird? OMG, how do people this?" I could feel myself self-destructing as my mind raced through 100 different ways I would inevitably make a fool of myself.

To my surprise, I woke up the next day to a simple but sweet text from my date that really made me question, well. everything. I mean, if I couldn’t come up with a quick, "Hey, last night was fun. We should check out that coffee place you mentioned next week if you’re not busy," then what was I doing in my day job as a dating writer?

The truth is, it’s OK to have post-date jitters, even if you write about dating for a living. I spoke with relationship expert and life coach Diana Dorell about the best ways to follow up via text after a date.

Fortunately, Dorell confirms that it wouldn’t have been too forward to send my date a quick text that night thanking him for his company. She says, "A simple, ‘I had a great time! Thank you for dinner,’ can be really effective the same night or the next morning," because it shows that you appreciate the time you spent together. It’s more about being courteous than it is about flirting at that point. She adds, though, "Beyond that, wait until at least the morning after. You want to leave a little mystery and allow someone time to miss you!"

Still think the night of or day after is too eager? That’s OK. Maybe you’re not one to talk much via text (text neck is a real thing) or maybe you’re just crazy busy with classes right now. Either way, you could stand to wait a few days but, Dorell says, no longer than a week. She explains, "If you want to see someone again, text within a week otherwise they could misconstrue your silence as disinterest." I’d definitely think someone who did this to me was ghosting me. Instead, after thanking them for a great date a few days later, mention that you’d love to see them again so they know exactly where your mind’s at.

Now that you’ve mustered up the courage to text them after your date, do you. just wait? Ugh, this is truly the worst part. I know from experience that it’s hard not to freak out when someone you like doesn’t text you back. From ghosting to zombieing and now orbiting, I’m constantly paranoid of falling victim to some horrible dating trend aptly named after my nightmares. But an unanswered text doesn’t always mean bad news. Dorell says, "Would you be concerned that a friend didn’t text you after one day if you knew your message wasn’t serious? Relax! Focus on you. If you’re meant to connect, you will."

So far, you’ve done everything right. You went on the date, you thanked them for the fun you had, and you followed up with them about a second encounter. If they go radio silent on you now, it’s time to line up another first date with someone else.

Relationship experts have answered the age-old question of when you should reach out.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

How long do guys wait to text after first date

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For many people, there is nothing more nerve-wracking than a first date. But even if the date goes well, the dreaded questions that come up after the date may be even worse. Did you talk too much? Did they laugh at your jokes? And the inevitable: How long should you wait to text them? You may be worried that you’re being held down by the arbitrary “three-day rule,” but fortunately, it may turn out you’re doing more worrying than necessary. According to experts, the best rule of thumb is that you should text someone within 24 hours after a first date. Read on to find out why one day is the perfect amount of time, and for more relationship advice, discover The One Pick-Up Line That Works Every Time, Research Shows.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

iStock

“When it comes to texting after a first date, you should text no later than the next day to say you had a great time, or to thank them for their time,” says Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. “Most people will text within a few hours of arriving home and thank their date.”

Andrea McGinty, a digital dating coach and founder of 33 Thousand Dates, says that “texting a few hours after the date shows you appreciate the person’s time, and you enjoy their company.” And the research backs this up: According to McGinty, out of 752 single men surveyed by 33 Thousand Dates, 84 percent said they like hearing from a woman the same day as the first date. And if you’re wondering about your date, check out these Undeniable Signs a First Date Went Well.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

iStock

According to Trombetti, the 24-hour timeline is just when it comes to sending “the most basic thank you text.” If you’re looking to text about a second date or just to flirt, you can wait as many as three to five days after your first date. And before you go on any first date, make sure you avoid The Worst Thing You Can Do When Introducing Yourself.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

iStock

McGinty says that 95 percent of the time, texting a few hours after a first date is the most appropriate course of action. However, there could be some instances where you may want to wait.

“The only circumstance where you wouldn’t want to text soon after would be if they tell you something personal is happening later that day, and even then, you can incorporate this into your message,” she says. And for useful information delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our daily newsletter.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

iStock

You might not always be the first one to text after a first date. And while this may seem like it takes the pressure off of you, your response time is also important if you are interested in pursuing things further with this person.

“Not responding to texts is the quickest way to sink a new relationship before it even starts,” Trombetti says. “If someone texts you, answering is a must during the same day you received the text. If you don’t, your date will think you aren’t interested in them.” And to make sure you’re keeping the conversation going, find out which One Question You Always Ask Can Kill a Conversation, Experts Say.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

iStock

I've been dating quite a bit lately and I can tell you that if I'm interested, I would send a text the same night, usually a few hours later.

However, not everyone is the same. Some guys (A LOT OF THEM) follow a 3 day rule – they don't text back until 3 days later. This sort of creates a game, which makes them seem uninterested in you when that's not the case. Although I disagree with texting 3 days later, I see why some guys do it. Sometimes, it makes girls value them more because they're scared that he's not interested.

I'd much rather be straight up with my intentions and feelings. If I enjoyed the date, I'm texting the girl a few hours after the date has ended, at the LATEST. I also end up asking them out on another date at the same time. "I.E Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I had a great time tonight, and I'm definitely interested in seeing you again. Does (insert day here) work for you?"

If she responds, then we're going on that next date. If she doesn't, then I take it as if she's not interested and move on.

I definitely appreciate when guys do that! He's older than me– in his late 30's– and doesn't seem to be the type to play games. I'd just assume he wasn't interested (even though we had a great conversation) but at the end he said "this was great, let's do it again." maybe that was just out of politeness.

You could always text him first. If you like him, tell him. If you want to hang out again, tell him. Put on those big girl panties and do it.

that backfires in my experience. if a man is interested he'll let you know. so i guess i already know he's not :/

Fairly subjective for each guy, but this is what I do.

I usually text someone after a date regardless of it being good or bad. Just a courtesy text for spending time. If I was interested in said girl, I would be planning on my next date. This could range from like 2-4 days, and I would casually bring it up during a texting conversation.

So ETA for next date: 1-2 weeks.

I've had guys text me within 1 hour of the date ending. It really depends on the communication you have with him, as well as his individual communication style.

These days we really don't have an excuse to not text back within a reasonable time. I'd give him 1.5 days. If you don't hear from him by then, NEXT.

Same night or next day at the latest.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. That's just how it goes in the real world of dating. Once you're out of high school/college, things change pretty dramatically. I'm 36. What you are describing sounds perfectly normal to me. Fucked up, but normal.

Tbh, I wouldn't ask that kind of question. It takes away too much of your power and that kind of thinking will erode your confidence over time. You did nothing wrong. She's the flake. Do you really want to spend your time worrying about someone who is willing to treat you that way? She's getting validation from all this social media and dating app attention and leaving you with nothing. She's actively online so what, she hasn't had 15 seconds to send you a text? Hell I'm at work and I've written a few pages just on this thread alone and you didn't even make out with me! It doesn't take very long to send someone a text message saying hey I know I've been slow to respond, whatever. So. i like your way of thinking, just move on to the next one. In this age of app dating that's how it has to be. It sucks. Everyone is doing the same thing, but when people are so unwilling to make any kind of commitment at all, it's what we've all come to expect.

That people think it is an acceptable practice to just ghost makes my blood boil. I mean it's one thing if we haven't met and it's just text and it doesn't go anywhere and things die off. It's another when you've actually been on several dates with me and we've started to build something. Now you're playing with my emotions and that's selfish and petty. At least have the decency to be honest and set reasonable expectations.

How long do guys wait to text after first dateYou shouldn’t be waiting on him.

If you sit around waiting for him to call or text after having previously had sex with him, you could drive yourself crazy.

Your thoughts may become too full of doubt and anxiety. You may feel like he is taking too long to call or text. You may begin to make yourself anxious about whether you will see him again.

You may start having regret that you slept with him too soon and may start wondering why you did what you did.

You may forget that you did it because it felt right and may keep judging yourself the longer you wait.

This is just some of what will go through your head when you are in this kind of mode of waiting.

You are placing too much importance in what he will do next.

You have to understand that you can’t control his actions.

He is his own person and has his own motives.

When you are so stuck on waiting for this guy to call or text after having had sex with him, you may be placing too much meaning into your interaction with him.

You may be projecting a lot of what you hope will happen with this guy.

This is very dangerous.

When you get into this frame of thinking, your mind will simply create too many scenarios and you will look at this guy as something that he currently isn’t.

The truth is that he may not want to be your boyfriend no matter how badly you may want this.

He may not want to give you any more affection than what he showed when he last saw you.

He may not want to hang around you from this point forward.

He may not want to know how your day went or whether you like him.

In other words, he may have enjoyed his experience with you and wants to move on.

How will you feel if you discover this?

Well, the more that you are so attached to hoping that he calls or texts you, the harder it will be for you to handle this possible eventuality.

You don’t want to fall this hard for someone you have barely shared any real substantive moments with.

When you dedicate this much emotion to someone who hasn’t proven himself, you may be setting yourself up for a hard fall.

Now, on the flip side, this guy may actually want to become your boyfriend at some point.

He may want to take this beyond sex.

However, you don’t know that for now.

Your best option is to go about living your life and be social.

Don’t wait by the phone or allow yourself to get lost thinking about him on a daily basis.

If he wants to get to know you more as a person, he will set up that date in the future.

He will focus on dating you if he really wants to get to know you and ultimately become your boyfriend.

If he doesn’t want to become your boyfriend, he may focus on hooking up instead.

If this is his approach, you will have to decide which kind of relationship you want.

Picture this: You’re on a date. If Nicholas Sparks had been casually observing, he would have been inspired to write a new bestseller about your budding romance. We’re talking about a magical evening, brimming with witty banter that flows without a moment of awkward silence. It all ends with a goodnight kiss that leaves a stupid smile plastered on your face all the way back to your fifth-floor apartment. And yet, you get no text after the first date. What gives? Are they playing hard to get? Did something catastrophic happen that’s prevented them from reaching out? What kind of girl or guy doesn’t text after a first date?

If you’ve seen the flick He’s Just Not That Into You, you probably remember that cringeworthy scene where Gigi calls Conor after her first date and leaves an epic, rambling voicemail that oozes desperation. “I just thought that I hadn’t heard from you, and I mean, how stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy’s call anyway, right? Cause we’re all equal, right?” she stammers, while her two girlfriends grimace in the background. No one wants to be that person. Still, there’s a fine line between playing games and playing it cool. How long is reasonable to wait for a text? What should you do if you have an arranged date but haven’t heard from him or her? Luckily, experts have the answers to these questions.

How Long Should You Wait To Text Someone Before A First Date?

So your date is quickly approaching and your guy hasn’t texted. What should you do? Well, matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin says it’s never too late to ask your date, “Are we still on for tonight?” As she previously explained to Elite Daily, “If you find yourself in a situation where [you] just want to confirm your date and the date plan . there is no harm in taking matters into your own hands and texting [them] to confirm.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Nicole Richardson agreed, telling Elite Daily it’s best not to beat around the bush when you’re confirming your plans with someone. If you ask them, “Hey, are we still on for tonight?,” then that will convey “a sense of excitement and confidence” that your date will likely appreciate. And if they don’t respond to confirm plans, then you have your answer.

How Long Should You Wait To Text Someone After A First Date?

You’ve probably heard of the three-day rule (made popular by the movie Swingers), but not everyone agrees that that’s how long you should wait before texting a date. It’s tempting to freak if a date hasn’t texted you, especially when you have friends weighing in with such conflicting experiences and advice. The fact is, there is no exact science when it comes to knowing when is reasonable to expect a text — it depends on the person’s schedule, obligations, habits, and intentions. But according Pricilla Martinez, online life coach at Blush, it’s reasonable to expect your date to text within a week, maximum.

“Someone who is really into you will not keep you waiting too long,” she explains. “If they are interested, they will take the necessary steps to see you again. If there were extenuating circumstances, they will eventually reach out and explain what those were. It’s then up to you to decide if you not only believe them, but consider their reasons good enough to warrant not taking 10 seconds to send a text.”

What Reasons Might A Date Have For Not Texting You?

There are certain factors to keep in mind if your date has been radio silent. For example, you might want to evaluate your texting habits with this person up until this point. If you two have been chatting back and forth on a daily basis and you haven’t heard from them a few days after your date, that could potentially be a red flag. Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker, says there’s a few reasons why someone might not text you back ASAP.

“Sometimes, people look at their text messages on their Apple Watches and think, I’ll respond to this later, and then completely forget to respond,” she tells Elite Daily. “And you’re not a priority — so one of those things I think is — if they’re not responding to your text message in the evening after work, then it just means you’re not a priority. You’re on the back burner.”

On the other hand, if your date wasn’t texting you on a daily basis before you met up, then it’s a little more understandable if they haven’t reached out yet. Martinez advises thinking back to your behavior on the date to assess what kind of vibes you were giving off. “Was it clear that you were interested? Did you flirt? How did the date end? Usually, when you’re interested in someone, these things come effortlessly with little thought,” she explains. “But if you were purposefully aloof in order to play it cool, then you may have sent the message that you weren’t feeling the chemistry.”

What Should You Say To A Date Who Hasn’t Texted You?

If you come to the conclusion that you didn’t make your interest known and you still haven’t heard from your date a few days later, Martinez recommends sending a message to make it more obvious that you’d like to see them again. She also suggests thinking about what you deem to be a valid excuse for not touching base sooner.

“If they can give you an explanation that you find reasonable, then go with your gut feeling,” she adds. “You have to decide for yourself because there really aren’t strict rules when it comes to this. If you aren’t comfortable or interested in taking the lead in this way, then don’t. You have to think about what you want and align your actions accordingly. If you want a person who takes initiative, then you can’t jump that gun. After you’ve made your interest clear, you have to let them do it.

However, should probs shouldn’t call them, no matter how tempted you may feel. “If you feel the need to call them, ask yourself why,” Avgitidis says. “Usually, the answer to that is acknowledgment. And if they’re not acknowledging you over text, I don’t think you’re going to get the answers you want through the phone.” At a certain point, though, it might be time to move on from a date who left you hanging. As Martinez says: “Don’t feel badly that it didn’t work out. Be grateful that they didn’t waste your time.”

The bottom line? There’s no right or wrong when it comes to the texting time frame after a date. Furthermore, there’s no right or wrong regarding when you should reach out yourself. Don’t be afraid to try and reconnect with a date that you felt a spark with — that way, you can better evaluate whether your crush is into you but super busy or shy, or simply misread your level of interest. It’s important to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Who knows? They could be "the one" — and if that’s the case, then they’re definitely worth a little extra patience.

Lori Salkin, matchmaker and dating coach

Nicole Richardson, licensed marriage and family therapist

Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker

Editor’s Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.

How long do guys wait to text after first date

Met a new guy you actually like? Here are 6 simple next steps that will keep him interested after your first date, so that you don’t accidentally push him away, but instead draw him closer and closer to you just like a magnet…

6 Tips to Keep Him Interested After the First Date

#1 – Let him know you had fun

To play it cool, or to not play it cool?

Well, that depends. Presumably, since you’re reading this email, you like this guy, which probably means that he took you on a good date and did something to impress you.

So let him know!

You don’t have to overdo it. Just text him to say: “Hey, just got into bed. I had a great time. Thanks for a lovely night! x”

Just acknowledging that you enjoyed yourself is important for a man. It lets him know he should keep pursuing and that you’ll be receptive to his future advances.

#2 – Keep things warm, but don’t overdo it

It’s important to strike a balance between showing you’re into him and showing you’re not too needy.

If he texts you after a couple of days, don’t leave it too long to respond or he’ll assume you’re not bothered.

Engage in few texts back and forth, throw in a little flirting, but don’t get sidetracked into endless conversation for hours or it will get stale and you’ll lose any mystery. You want to leave him a reason to get in touch again, or schedule another date to talk in person. So don’t waste all your good conversation on instant messenger!

Also, while you shouldn’t be afraid to text him first, don’t do it every time or it will put you in the position of always being the one chasing. Let him be the one to make first contact sometimes – it will let you know if he’s actually into you or not.

#3 – Build anticipation

When you’re texting, talk about other fun things you’d like to do together (not in a sexual way – and if you do go down that route, keep it lightly suggestive, nothing too explicit!) – by talking about activities and interests you’re both passionate about you’ll find it easy to schedule your next date.

And remember – don’t let your conversations just become boring, “What u up to?” chats about your day. Keep things fun and flirty and joke around when you talk. The most important thing is not to overthink your every move.

#4 – Don’t get locked in a needy mindset

It’s easy to find yourself pacing up and down, checking your phone every five minutes, hoping he’ll keep texting back and worrying whenever he doesn’t.

You get that needy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you may even start obsessing as you hope he’s still into you.

This is a totally destructive mindset that will slowly drain your confidence and make you act weird around him, because he’ll sense you’re trying too hard.

So in this stage, you must find other ways to keep your OWN life interesting.

Invest in your friends. Find activities you love. Make time for your work, family, art, exercise, things that make you excited.

The worst thing you can do is invest all your happiness in this new guy who you barely know, thinking that you’ll suddenly be depressed and lost if he doesn’t like you.

At the end of the day, I know this sounds cheesy, but if he doesn’t see how amazing you are, and you have to play constant mental chess moves just to keep him interested, he’s NOT your guy anyway.

#5 – Let him in gradually

One of the crucial ways to keep him interested is not to “jump the gun” too quickly.

Just because things went well the first time, don’t assume you’re now officially exclusive or dating. Keep your options open, at least to begin with. Don’t start cancelling other plans just so you can fit him in.

If you can only see him one evening this week, then so be it. There’s always time for things to grow if it goes well, so don’t feel the need to skip ahead in the relationship.

Or maybe he wants you to spend the whole weekend with him, but you already made plans for drinks with friends that night. Ok then he’ll have to wait – go see your girlfriends and pencil him in for next week.

It’s good for a guy to see in the early stages that you have other commitments (as long as you do actually have room for him somewhere within those – if you’re always busy and rigid in your schedule a guy will eventually lose interest, thinking it’s too much effort).

#6 – Show you have more than one gear

If you want to keep him interested, you need to show many sides to your personality.

Mix up the kinds of dates you have. Go for cocktails one night, then do something cultural like visiting a gallery on the next date. Or have a day just chilling and doing some work together, then go and do something active next time.

The more you vary it up, the more a man sees that you’re a woman who he can do lots of different things with. When men think about what they want in a girlfriend, they picture a woman who can fit into many situations: she can be fun and energetic, but also chilled and relaxed; glamorous and sexy, but also casual; intelligent and thoughtful, but sometimes goofy and playful.

Keep him guessing, and you’ll be the woman who stands out, because he won’t be able to place you in a box.

There you have it: the first steps to keep him interested straight after the first date.

Now, you may be saying, “These tips are great, Matthew, but no matter what I do or say, things always fall apart for me after the first few dates and men end up disappearing on me before we ever get into an actual relationship.”

If that’s what’s going on for YOU…

…If something you can’t quite put your finger on has been tripping you up in the beginning stages of dating and is keeping you from moving to the next level and getting you the true love you deserve, then I’ve got the solution for you.

It goes past superficial flirting techniques and basic texting tips to reveal deep secrets of male psychology so you can finally understand men…

…yet it’s also radically simple to use, and works quickly and powerfully so you can finally get your Mr. Right, right away…